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Disclaimer: Rosario+Vampire is the property of Akihisa Ikeda and his associates.
Rosario+Vampire
Chapter 2: The Stereotypical New Student Episode
"Morning, Kurumu!"
"Mornin', Moka," I mumbled unenthusiastically, throwing in a tired yawn for good measure.
My vampiric friend's face was filled with nothing but concern as she looked me over.
"You look awful, Kurumu!" my pink haired rival observed, "Are you feeling alright?"
"Just couldn't sleep, that's all," I answered, trying to laugh it off. I knew that I had to look like crap at the moment, with big black bags under my eyes and my lovely blue hair an unsightly mess. Had I not been sleep deprived, weirded out by last night's events, and- let's face it- still upset about yesterday, I probably wouldn't even have left my room for how awful I looked Nothing beats vanity like self-pity, I guess. "Had a weird dream is all."
"Oh? What about?" Moka asked as we walked.
"Just…something dumb," I yawned (though I had tried very hard not to), "I was reading some corny action-romance manga before I went to bed, so um, uh…"
"So, you dreamed about a manga?"
"Yep!" I laughed, "Silly, right?"
"Must have been a really exciting dream," she said, her tone revealing a touch of being uncomfortable, which of course implied…
"Why do you automatically think that I was dreaming about sex!?" I snapped with sudden, tired anger, "And even if I was- which I wasn't- what gives you the right to be so judgmental, huh? Everyone does it!"
"I-I didn't say anything about s-about that!" she stammered, quite flustered and more than a bit embarrassed. "K-kurumu, are you sure you're feeling alright?" I felt bad, so I removed the harshness from my voice when I spoke next.
"Me? Sure, I'm fine! Never been better, I…," and without warning, my body lost all energy and I fell over face-first into the ground.
"KURUMU!??"
"Hey, Moka! Goo-, uh, what's wrong with Kurumu?" asked Tsukune Aono, sole human student of Yokai Academy, as he entered into the clearing; accompanied by the tiny witch Yukari Sendo
"I-I don't know! She was acting really weird, then she fell over! I have no idea what's going on!"
"Hmm," Yukari hmmed, bending over the busty girl's prone form to examine her pulse. "Well, she's not dead. Probably fainted, or…," She paused to listen for a moment, having heard soft snores. "…Or she's asleep. My hypothesis falls towards the latter."
"She did look awful tired," Moka reported, "Huge bags under her eyes."
"Well," said Yukari, flipping Kurumu over and pulling the succubus' eye lids open for a moment, "Off hand, I'd say- oh! I have an idea!" Digging into her school bag, the young witch extracted a thick, black permanent marker. "I have an idea for a fun game we could play!"
"Yukari…," Tsukune groaned.
Just then, a small red haired female wielding an enormous, bat-like battle axe leapt out of the foliage. "MOKAAAAAA!! FIGHT MEEEEEE!!"
"NO, KOKOA! NOT NOW!!" Tsukune screamed, instinctively jumping in front of Moka.
There was no need, however, because a moment later the small vampire crashed into the ground, trapped within a thick block of ice.
"Mizore!!" Moka cried.
"Don't complain," the ice maiden in question retorted, hanging upside down from the tree that she had been hiding in like some oversized, lavender haired bat. "It's not like she was going to stop. I did you favor."
"But surely there was a better way to stop her!"
"Not my problem."
"How is it not-?"
"Um, guys, we really should be getting to class," Tsukune interrupted, looking up from his watch, "And we should probably get Kurumu to th-,"
"MORNING TSUKUNE!!" the succubus cried with her usual vigor, having awoken to find her beloved standing over her. The lucky-but-luckless human soon found himself on the ground whilst being smothered by size G breasts, while shapely but still hard knees dug into his own chest.
"Well she perked right up," Mizore Shirayuki droned, forming an ice kunai in her hand. "Too bad she won't be that way for long."
"Phooey," Yukari sulked, shoving her marker back into her bag.
Moka just looked on with her usual meek irritation, while Kokoa and her bat familiar Kou remained forgotten inside their ice prison.
Shortly afterwards, my friends and I were gathered in homeroom with the rest of our classmates, waiting for Ms. Nekonome who was late, again.
"Are you alright from yesterday, Kurumu?" Tsukune asked.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" I fibbed, deciding on the spot that it was done and over with and that there was no point in brooding. It would only sap my confidence for when I would inevitably swoop in to snatch Tsukune for myself by the time of the Midnight Dance. This I had promised myself I would do.
"But-,"
"I ran into Nagare, yesterday," I declared to the others in order to change the subject. We were all gathered around Tsukune's desk while we waited for our teacher to show up. "When I was heading back to my dorm after someone nearly killed me with a throwing star made out of ice." I flashed Mizore a dirty look. She, of course, had the nerve to grin smugly at me at this accusation.
"Who?" Yukari asked, confusion written on her young face.
"Don't you remember?" I asked, momentarily forgetting that Yukari had never actually met Nagare before. "He's that nasty slug-perv who tried to black mail me during our first year together. It was right before that thing with the school police."
"Oh, him," Moka shuddered, thinking back to her and Tsukune's brief encounter with the disgusting slime creature.
"Don't worry about it, though," I said, quite pleased with myself, "I threw that creep out the nearest window before he even had the chance to- zzzzzzzz….," To my embarrassment, I had dropped off without warning again.
"Again!? What's wrong with her?" Tsukune asked worriedly, much to my delight.
Alright, so I hadn't exactly fallen asleep. I had actually just been hit with a sudden wave of fatigue, and I lacked both the energy and the motivation to move. Unless Tsukune tried to wake me, of course. As for the snoring, well, I don't snore (NO! I DON'T!), but perhaps it was from my nose being squashed against Tsukune's desk while half-asleep…or something. Stop looking at me like that! I DON'T snore!
"You mean besides the usual things, right?" Mizore asked in response to Tsukune's rhetorical query. I hate that girl so much sometimes.
"That's just mean," Moka tried to scold her while holding back a giggle. And Moka too, sometimes.
A soft pop came from Yukari's direction, and the strong scent of marker drifted by to offend my delicate nostrils. A sense of dread washed over my half-conscious consciousness at this point.
"Good mo-orning, class!" Ms. Nekonome sang, pouncing into the class room with all the energy of a litter of kittens.
"Good morning, sensei," everyone but the snoozing me bowed.
"Everyone, I am pleased to be making a very important announcement today," the cat-lady mewed, quickly sketching out a series of drawings on the chalkboard. Of course, I couldn't see said drawings, but I could certainly hear them being scratched out. "As you all know, there are numerous monster schools hidden all over the world. Some, like our own Yokai Academy, are hidden behind space-warping barriers that shield them from humans, while others are deep underground or hidden in remote locations that humans rarely travel to."
By now she had completed her chalk sketch (the scraping of chalk against board had stopped, of course), and I saw later that it had consisted of two rectangles- one labeled "Yokai Academy," and the other "Other Monster School"- a collection of stick figures, and two arrows that went from one rectangle to the other.
"And, of course, in order to better spread ideas and unity amongst the citizens of the monster world- i.e. us- many of these schools have a foreign exchange student program," Our ditsy blond teacher tapped her drawing vigorously with her pointer stick as she spoke. "Though it's true that the program is not initiated as often as many of us would like, students ARE still transferred on occasion- especially in Europe I'm told. But, as you've no doubt guessed by now, we have just received our own transfer student who will be staying with us until the end of the school year!"
At Ms. Nekonome's signal, the door slid open, and the new student in question walked in.
By now I had begun to recover my strength and so I slowly began to sit up in my chair- Tsukune and Moka had placed me back into my own seat after the teacher had come in- and opened my eyes.
"Everyone, I would like for you to welcome Josh Draig of the Black Hills Monster Academy!"
The boy who entered was of average height, lanky build, and had longish black hair. A pair of glasses was set over gray eyes, and his overall appearance was that of an ordinary high school-age teenager. And yet…
Even though it had been the dead of night when my encounter with the stranger last night; with the light of the moon and my succubus night vision I had easily been able to discern his features. Thus, it was impossible for me not to recognize the one who stood before me and the rest of the class now.
"YOU!" I shouted, jumping out of my seat and slapping my hands against the desk so hard that it cracked. Everyone in the classroom, the new boy included, jumped back and away from me as if I was some sort of crazed animal. Hmph! "IT'S YOU! YOU'RE THAT GUY FROM LAST NIGHT!!"
A heavy stillness filled the room as everyone stared either at me or at the black haired new boy, and in many cases turning back and forth to look at the both of us.
'Wha!t?' I wondered.
Then the whispers began.
"I guess she's finally given up on Tsukune," some girl a row ahead of me whispered a bit too loudly to a friend. I stared in shock.
"It's about time, but still…," the friend replied, "Sure, he's kinda cute, but he's not really all that handsome either. Kinda weird for a succubus."
"Yeah, but Tsukune's never been particularly handsome either," a third girl added, "Well, I guess succubi aren't typically very picky about their men, aren't they?"
Both me and the new boy Josh flinched at the stinging criticism. How rude! Do you people have no shame? And in voices that you surely must realize I can hear! What is wrong with people these days!?
I was about to open my mouth to reply, but the sound of ice sliding over wood caught my attention. Looking down, I saw that tendrils of ice had crawled over my desk to form the message:
Thanks for being the bigger woman, Kurumu! We'll take good care of Tsukune! – M & Y
Next to each letter signature was a chibi-faced caricature of their owners.
My mood now quite bitter, I looked to my left to see Mizore and Yukari grinning happily and waving. I displayed my displeasure at them with a rude hand gesture.
"Um, I'm sorry miss," the transfer student finally said to me, adjusting his glasses, "But I've never seen you before in my life."
I couldn't help but fall over in a heap of annoyance and barely suppressed anger at this outrageous claim of ignorance. My classmates bawled with laughter. Ingrates!
"So…, tell us about yourself Josh," Ms. Nekonome said, trying to redirect the topic of conversation to what I guess she had originally intended for it to be. "Am I pronouncing that correctly?"
"Yes," the "Ooh! I'm Too Tool To Acknowledge You!" Creep nodded, "My name is Josh Draig, I am seventeen years old, and my cat's water has just broke…,"
We all stared speechlessly at this extremely weird and oh-so-casually spoken remark.
His cheeks began to turn red and suddenly became quite nervous and fidgety, as if he had just realized that he had said something really weird. "Damn internet language courses," I was barely able to hear him mutter to himself in English before trying again.
I grinned and laughed to myself. Serves him right.
"Um, sorry. That came out wrong. My Japanese is evidently not as good as I thought it was. I'm seventeen…," he stopped to think very carefully about what he was trying to say before carrying on haltingly. "And…it…is…my…pleasure…to…be…here…"
"Would you prefer to speak in English?" Shizuka asked, apparently feeling a bit disturbed by the cat-involved language screw-up of a moment ago. "I do believe that everyone here has passed their courses in the English language."
Um….
"No, no! It's fine! Really! I just got a little over confident is all, hehe." His face was still beet red as he turned back to the class and cleared his throat. "My hobbies include swimming, martial arts, and reading; my blood type is B, and I'm a Virgin, er, Virgo, sorry."
Scattered giggles spread throughout the class as the foreign student's face turned even redder than before.
I chuckled evilly to myself at the foreign-jerk's distress.
"Thank you very much for that insightful information, Josh," Ms. Nekonome beamed hopefully, "Will you please take a seat?"
"Thanks for the bacon, whoops, thank you for having me, sensei," the American monster bowed and did as told. Apparently he was still feeling quite stuck up even after that royal screw-up, because he just casually plopped himself in the seat directly in front of my own. I made sure that he knew that I was still mad, because I immediately began to bore into the back of his head with a badass-burning gaze. Immediately he began to squirm and shoot scared looks back at me, and this pleased me to no end.
Who needs the power to shoot heat rays out of your eyes when you can just make someone think you are with an illusion? I can prolong it as long as I want, and not be in any danger of getting in trouble. I'm so marvelous! ^_^
During lunch hour, Josh Draig was making his way back to his dorm room with hopes of better acquainting himself with the Japanese language. He was halfway through the forest of dead trees that separated the school proper from the dorms when he heard a voice call out to him from above.
"Think you're pretty funny making me look stupid in front of my class, dontcha?" an angry female voice called. Draig didn't even need to look up to know who it was; especially since the speaker jumped down from the treetops a moment later to land gracefully before him.
"I apologize for making you look the fool-," he began to say, but before he knew it the blue haired succubus' face was inches from his own, and her surprisingly powerful fingers were wrapped tightly about his neck.
"How dare you show up in front my room looking all cool last night, cause me to think brief but vile thoughts that made me betray my precious Tsukune, then show up at my school the next day and pretend like we've never met before," she cried out, violently shaking the other back and forth whilst trying to strangle him. "HOW DARE YOU!?!?"
"Ku-ru-mu! Stop!" the suffocating student gasped through the strangling, "I'm sor-ry! Let me ex-plain!"
Reluctantly, the succubus relented. Coughing horribly and without thinking, Josh attempted to double over to better catch his breath, but accidently found himself face-first in one of the too-close Kurumu's favorite body parts.
"PERVERT!" she screamed, slapping the foreigner with all her might.
"I hate my life," Josh whined to himself in English, lying prone on his back with a hand-shaped red mark tattooed on his cheek.
"Well that's what you get for being a dirty little pervert!" Kurumu huffed unrepentantly. "Now, what the hell's going on?"
"Did you break my glasses?" Josh continued to complain, ignoring Kurumu while removing said spectacles to examine the left temple arm.
"I'M TALKING TO YOU!" the succubus shouted, throwing another punch; but much to her surprise, the foreign student caught her fist this time, without even looking up from examining his glasses.
"I heard you," he said, looking up into her violet eyes with a stern seriousness that caused Kurumu to rethink her violent outbursts, if only for a moment.
"So just who are you?" she asked once she had taken her fist back, "And what are you doing here?"
"As I and Ms. Nekonome said," the mysterious transfer student responded, replacing his glasses and brushing himself off as he stood back up, "My name is Josh Draig, born in Wales, grew up in the United States where I attended the Black Hills Monster Academy for three years before transferring to Yokai Academy for the foreign exchange student program. As for what I'm doing here, I'm attempting to complete my education." Then, off-handedly but spoken quickly so as to almost be indiscernible, he said, "Oh, and I'm trying to save the world from a massive monster-human war."
"Come again? Kurumu asked, stunned by the odd answer.
"I…shouldn't be telling you this," the strange student admitted, looking about to make sure that no one was listening, "But I need all the help that I can get to get through this: There are those who desire to defy the Hell Kings and bring the monster race out into the open, fully aware that such sudden contact will inevitably spark a long and bloody war between us and the humans. The Hell Kings, however, see a chance for a gradual and peaceful unification between the two peoples through a human student, namely one Tsukune Aono, and it's my job to make sure that he doesn't get killed. And you're going to help me."
Kurumu couldn't help it. It was far too ridiculous. She fell over and began to roll all over the dirt-covered path in a hysterical fit of laughter that left Josh rather annoyed.
"HEY! I'M BEING SERIOUS HERE!!"
"Whatever!" the succubus shot back, tears in her eyes and a stitch in both her sides, "I've heard that Americans are all kinda crazy, but you take the cake! That's probably the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard in, like, ever! Is this some weird kind of flirting?"
"Fine," growled Josh, crossing his arms moodily and staring down at the girl with the greatest annoyance, even as he couldn't help but notice her shapely figure and crystal laugh, "Believe what you want. But you'll at least let me know if you see or hear anything strange or suspicious, yes? Please?"
Kurumu sat up just long enough to come up with a witty reply, but was stopped by a familiar, disgusting laugh.
"What's this Kurumu? So it is true that you've given up on Tsukune, then?"
The succubus spun about, staring in anger at the persistent Nagare; who was being accompanied by an eight foot tall ogre with mottled gray skin, an ugly sneering face, and a smell that could wake the dead.
"What now, Nagare?" Kurumu whined, "And who's this other freak that you have with you?"
The muscle-bound behemoth just gave a caveman-like grunt or growl to display his displeasure at the insult.
"Hey! Be nice to my friends, Kurumu!" the slug-boy sneered, "His name's Gagere, and, like me, he's an emotionally delicate, artistic soul. But, unlike me, he's prone to bouts of violence when you treat him poorly. You'd better be nice!"
"Who's this freak?" Josh asked.
"Just some pervert/stalker; slug monster."
"Ah, figures."
"You know, you hurt me deeply when you threw me out that window, Kurumu," Nagare went on, "But it hurt even more when I heard that you'd tossed Tsukune aside for a foreigner, despite everything that we've been through together!"
"You threw him out a window!?"
"Shh!" Kurumu hissed, then yelled at Nagare, "I haven't given up on Tsukune! And why would I ever go out with you!?"
"Ah! Don't be like that!" Nagare whined. "We could be friends first, ya know? And Gagere would really like to get to know you too, ain't that right Gagere?"
The ogre nodded its ugly head and grunted, the look in his eyes and the way his tongue lolled out making it quite clear that Gagere was an even bigger pervert than Nagare.
Kurumu convulsed with highly visible disgust.
"Disgusting beasts," Josh muttered to himself, clenching his fists and giving the pair a dangerous glare.
"So then, Kurumu?" Nagare asked gleefully, ignoring Josh. "How should we go about getting to know each other first? Shall we just hang out? Or should we skip right to close, physical intimacy?"
Gagere nodded and grunted enthusiastically at this suggestion.
"Or," the slug boy suggested, large teeth spread out wide in wicked glee, "If you aren't too keen on becoming our friend voluntarily, I guess we could always go and see what Tsukune thinks about it. Nice guy, right? Would be a shamed if something were to happen to him. Even if he does smell like human."
She had been pushed too far this time. It was immediately obvious. Rather than shout or carry on, Kurumu's eyes were narrowed to dangerous slits, and her body was coiled up like some mad predator about to rip its prey to shreds. Her nails and ears were already extended to their fullest, and her wings and tail were sliding out gradually with the intention of intimidation.
"Don't you ever threaten Tsukune again, you twisted bastard." Kurumu's voice was low and deadly. For the first time, Josh realized why succubi were considered by some to be a type of demon. "If you ever, EVER threaten him again, I'll tear your heart out and feed it to you!"
Both Nagare and his ogre companion found themselves recoiling in fear at this pronouncement, but the dedicated pervert soon found his courage (in the presence of his brutish companion) again, and so declared, "Y-you….Oh, now you're threatenin' us now, huh? I think she this little bitch needs to be taught some manners! Take her down, Gagere! And eat the foreigner if he gets in the way!"
The ogre looked down at his handler for a moment in scared confusion, but Nagare countered the giant's fear with one of his last remaining pictures from his and Kurumu's first and only "date." Inspired by the possibilities that the photo inspired to the point that he forgot what he had been scared of, Gagere drew out a thin, black chain from the pocket of his ragged, hide clothing with bore a weight at each end of the chain. He swung the chain wildly for a moment, then hurled one end, intending to ensnare the succubus as if they part of some bizarre cattle-round up.
Kurumu stepped forward self-assuredly, preparing to split the chain with a single swipe of her claws; but before she knew it, a certain foreign exchange student had stepped in front of her, ensnaring the chain about his own arm.
"What do you think you're doing!?" the succubus shouted, both in shock and anger, "Outta the way! I can handle these chumps!"
"Sorry, Kurumu," Josh replied, clearly unrepentant. "But I'm afraid I couldn't help myself. Chivalry, and all that rot."
Kurumu continued to simmer for a moment at the indignity of being rescued by someone other than Tsukune or the Inner Moka- especially when she clearly did not need saving- but came out of said simmering once she had time to register what she was seeing: Gagere pulling on one end of the chain with a good deal of his strength, and Josh, arm still ensnared, not moving an inch!
'S-such strength!' Kurumu could not help but think in admiring awe. 'Only vampires and a few other monsters are so strong! What is this guy anyway!?'
"Le go!" Gagere snarled as he tugged, the first real words that he had used all day.
"Sorry," Josh replied, as he continued to tug with equal force, using only his captured arm, "But I'm afraid I can't do that. At least not until you learn how to treat a lady!"
Now gripping the chain with both hands, the American student pulled with all his might, dragging his opponent in through the air at great speed. When the ogre was almost upon him, Josh attacked with a single, mighty round house kick that sent the beast flying into the forest…while still connected to Josh via the chain.
"Whoops," he groaned to himself, realizing his mistake a mere half second before he ran out of chain. He screamed as the force of his own kick sent both him and the ogre into the trees.
"That's…embarrassing," Kurumu groaned to herself.
"No kidding," Nagare agreed.
A moment later, the slug boy was regretting having drawn attention to himself.
When Gagere came back some minutes later, dragging an unconscious-via-crash-landing-Josh by the black chain, he found the pretty winged girl standing over Nagare, who was unconscious and bleeding copiously from numerous slash wounds.
"Hey! Dat not nice, what oo did ta Nagare!" the slow-witted ogre roared. "I eat you for that!"
SLICE!
"Nice nap?" I asked sweetly, looking down upon the prone American at my feet.
"Wha' 'appen?" he groaned in English, which took me a moment to figure out because…; Hey! English is the hardest language in the world to learn, and I'm not the best student! So shut up and leave me alone!
"Well, I think that you flew into a tree at high speed, possibly got your head stepped on by an ogre, then got dragged over rough, forest terrain," I replied matter-of-factly.
"Well that explains the migraine," Josh groaned, slowly sitting back up.
"Could be worse."
"I'd ask how, but…," he began, but I interrupted by leaning into him close, ever so close, cranking up the old seductive charm. As expected, Josh immediately froze as my pheromones and intoxicating body turned his brain to mush.
"It could be worse…" I said in my sexiest voice, leaning in as if to kiss him. Then I extended my claws out right next to his ear with a slight shing! Then completed my statement in my normal voice. "…If you had a succubus torqued off at you for embarrassing her in front of all of her friends and making veiled threats towards the love of her life."
Josh had jumped back at the initial extension of my nails, and he continued to look like a fox-cornered-rabbit even as I completed my statement.
Then I ruined the entire effect by laughing. I couldn't help it, it was just too funny. When I had a hold of myself again, I then said, "But luckily for you, I can forgive. I didn't need your help in the slightest, as you can plainly see," I gestured over towards the beaten forms of Nagare and his ogre, "But I do appreciate the gesture. I won't have it said that Kurumu of the Black Dreams is not grateful.
"And even though I still say that you're crazy for all of that junk earlier about saving the world or whatever, I personally find your brand of crazy far more appealing than theirs." Again, I indicated the two unconscious idiots over to the side.
"Now let's get going," I finished, reveling in how cool I knew I must have seemed at that moment. If only Tsukune had been there to watch! "It's not good for the new student to be late for his classes on the first day."
"Domo arigato," he bowed, a smile on his lips. "Lead the way, oh big breasted one, CRAP! I meant 'Oh, lovely one!'"
"PERVERT!!"
SMACK!!!
To Be Continued…
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