Fighting to Survive Chapter 3
I don't own SVU or the characters associated with SVU.
Olivia turned without opening her eyes; she had no desire to see the damage caused to Richard's head by her single shot. Her lungs felt bruised and her face suddenly began to throb with pain as she made her way back to her spot on the floor. She shook violently as she listened to the sirens getting closer. Soon. Soon help would arrive, but it was too late. It was too late for Richard and it was too late for her.
She could hear the knocking on her apartment door; she knew they would enter whether she invited them or not. She tried to sit still, tried to control the shaking that was causing her stomach to turn in threatening waves. Her fingers wrapped tightly around the handle of her gun. She concentrated on how the gun felt in her hand and that seemed to help with the way the rest of her body trembled with each breath she took.
"Detective Benson?" Olivia didn't recognize the voice. She allowed her eyes to fall onto Richard. As she took in the sight before her, her body seemed to move on it's own. She stood to her full height, never letting her eyes leave her bed and the form that was once her boyfriend.
Olivia didn't hear the officers enter; she didn't hear them call her name. She did hear their harsh commands and threatening voices. She turned quickly, aiming her gun in a protective gesture that told anybody and everybody she wouldn't be touched again.
"Drop the gun! Drop it now!" Olivia flinched as she stared at the uniform as he yelled at her. Olivia's only response was to adjust her grip on her gun and shift her position to alleviate the pressure she felt between her legs.
"I will shoot you." Olivia watched as the officer grabbed his gun with both hands stepping slowly towards her. She wondered if she knew the officer, but decided she didn't. She kept her gaze on his face as she gripped her gun even tighter.
She hardly made a sound as she hit her face on the cold, hard floor of her bedroom. The officer's partner had slammed into her back, forcing her to the ground as he quickly disarmed her. Olivia closed her eyes as she prayed it wasn't happening again. She wouldn't survive another round.
"No!" Olivia found herself struggling with the officers as they worked together to quickly secure her…with handcuffs. She could feel the cool metal digging into her wrists as she struggled against the cuffs. The officer forcefully jerked her up to her feet, steadying her as he took in her appearance.
"What happened here?" Olivia felt the panic set in as she struggled to breathe. Her hands were cuffed behind her back making it that much harder to maintain her balance.
"What the hell are you doing?" Olivia heard his voice and immediately lowered her head. She wanted to feel relief that he had come, but instead felt instant humiliation and embarrassment.
"Take the fucking cuffs off of her!" Nick was quickly in front of his partner. He held her by the upper arms to steady her as the officer followed the detective's order. He took in the sight of his wounded, damaged partner realizing immediately what had happened.
"Liv? Olivia? Talk to me, Liv." Nick wanted to help her in the worst way, but wasn't sure how much contact she would be able to take right now.
Olivia slowly raised her head, displaying the damage Richard had caused to her face. Nick sucked in a deep breath as he let his eyes survey the rest of her body that was visible. "Elliot?"
"I'll get him." Nick's voice was deep and kept low intentionally. Olivia felt her legs giving out as she had no choice but to fall against her partner. He was a good cop, a good man. She was just sorry he had gotten partnered with her. He didn't deserve a partner like her.
"Get the paramedics in here now.!" Olivia recognized Cragen's voice. She fell to her knees despite Nick's strong hold on her. Cragen had quickly replaced Nick as he pulled Olivia toward his chest. He knew the caution that was to be taken with a rape victim, but this was Olivia, his best detective. Could've been his own daughter as far as he was concerned. Cragen surveyed the room as he felt Olivia shaking against his body.
Olivia refused the medical help when they arrived. Cragen insisted, but relented when she pleaded with him. "No hospital, please sir." Cragen cringed at her words. He knew they would need a rape kit. Not to identify the suspect, but to prove her case. He was able to tell to a point what had transpired. Olivia was dressed, Richard was not. The gunshot was to the back of the head, suggesting execution.
Cragen carefully guided her out of her bedroom and onto the living room couch. She lowered herself onto the couch while her boss remained standing, taking in the disarray in the living room. "Olivia, you've got to tell me what went on here."
"No!" Olivia turned at the voice of her dear friend. Alex rushed into the apartment and was instantly by Olivia's side. "Liv, don't say a word. Don, you know you're obligated to report what you know."
Cragen rubbed his forehead as he watched Olivia continue to fight the vicious shaking that still controlled her. His presence definitely represented a conflict of interest and he knew Alex was right. He left the room leaving the two women alone.
Alex knelt down in front of Olivia encouraging her friend to look her in the eye. Alex's heart broke as she took in the sight before her. Olivia looked like she had been to hell and only half way back. Alex knew Olivia wasn't seeing her despite the fact her eyes were fixed on her own.
"I really want to see Elliot." Olivia's voice was barely a whisper as she continued to look through Alex.
Alex grabbed a hold of Olivia's hands hoping she would respond. "I promise you, I will get a hold of him."
"You can't. He won't answer. He left. He left here, he left me." The tears finally fell as Alex wrapped her arms around her friend, ignoring the blood that was sure to get on her . Alex hoped like hell she could get a hold of him.
Olivia stopped the tears as if to prove she was the strong, tough detective she had always tried to prove she was. "Alex, I killed him."
"Olivia, don't say anything. The evidence is all here, you know that." Alex watched as Cragen hurried into the bedroom at the sound of Nick's angry voice.
"I know. I killed him…after." Alex stared at her friend. She was traumatized, injured and maybe even delirious. Olivia would go to jail if she stuck to this story.
"Don't Liv. He raped you, yes?" Alex figured she better get what she could from Olivia before things got uglier than they already were.
Olivia shook her head. "Yes. I shot him while he was unconscious. I killed him because he raped me."
Alex closed her eyes and then opened them again to look into her friend's eyes. Olivia's stare seemed clearer as her voice seemed to even out as well. "You were defending yourself." Alex knew she was coaching.
"I shot him in the head while he was unconscious. I hit him with the lamp base." Olivia got to her feet and stood straight despite the throbbing in her head. "The evidence will prove that."
Alex stared at her. Olivia's eye was swollen almost shut, and bruises were forming as they spoke. "Liv, you will go to jail. Do you understand me?"
"It's okay." Olivia's voice was broken as she spoke softly. "I'm a cop, they will kill me in there. I don't want to live anymore." Olivia's voice was haunting as Alex knew her words would stick with her for a long time to come.
"Liv, go to the hospital. Get the rape kit done. We'll need it." Alex watched as detectives from another precinct moved closer to them. She wondered when they had arrived.
"No, I can't go through that. I just can't." Olivia hated herself for talking so many victims into consenting to a rape kit after they were victimized.
Alex's words took on a panicked tone. "Please Olivia. I know it's hard, I'll be there with you. Don't give up now."
Olivia glanced back at the detectives before turning her gaze back to her friend. "I…can't."
Alex didn't stop the tears as they began to fall. She watched as Olivia slowly moved her hands around to her back. The detective was gentle but there was nothing kind about being cuffed.
"Olivia Benson, you are under arrest for the murder of Richard Morris. You have the right…"
"I know my rights." The detective stopped instantly hanging his head.
"You never cuff a rape victim." Alex's voice was angry as she hated the feeling of helplessness that filled her.
"She confessed to murder, counselor." He stared down the ADA as she moved to within a few inches of Olivia's face.
"You may have given up, but I haven't." Alex reached out to wipe away the stray tear that remained on Olivia's face. "I'll find Elliot, I promise Liv."
"No, don't. I can't see him. Please, Alex. Don't ever tell him…please." Olivia's voice broke as she was escorted out of her own apartment in handcuffs.
Alex stood motionless as reality sunk in. She looked up into the unbelieving faces of Cragen and Nick.
"She'll never survive on the inside. Cops usually don't. They'll kill her." Cragen was angry.
"She'll survive if she wants to. I just don't know if she wants to." Alex walked past the men into her friend's bedroom where CSU was processing the scene.
