Chapter 3

"It's good to have you in our part of the galaxy," said Kay, addressing the petite alien agent. Though he spoke in that same monotone voice, it was clear to everybody that Kay felt anything but indifferent.

"It's good to be back," replied Aileen warmly. She was not normally one to exchange pleasantries.

"Aileen," said Kay, "You remember Agent Jay and Agent U, of course." He then introduced X. "Boys, be a gentleman and help Aileen unload."

With that, he offered Aileen the crook of his elbow and led her to the kitchen, leaving Jay scowling in his wake.

"Hey Aileen," called one of the worms.

"Hail and well met gentle lady!" warbled another. "Hast thou come to partake of the ambrosial brew with us?"

Kay poured two cups of coffee, effectively emptying the pot.

"We can take a hint," chirped a worm.

"Now behave yourselves!"

"Best of luck, Romeo," said the last worm with a cheeky wave.

Kay waited until the worms were well out of sight. "What brings you to these parts?"

"Work. I'm tracking a large scale drug smuggling ring. Steroids, mostly, processed in the central planets of the Crab nebula."

Kay frowned. "Aside from pro-wrestling, I didn't think there was much of an alien demand for that on earth."

"There isn't," said Aileen, pursing her lips. "That's what's so strange."

Jay poked his head in. "What's so strange?"

He was met with two thinly veiled glares. "I mean, I just came to get some water," laughed Jay, awkwardly, turning on the faucet. "Fill up the tank with H-two-O. I'll just be on my way."

xxx

Fortunately, Jay had plenty of distractions to preoccupy his mind, or he would have been even more dejected by the fact that his partner was spending every spare moment of the week gallivanting with Aileen on missions, if they were, indeed, on missions.

Left behind at the base, Jay resigned himself to setting up for the MIB grand reopening ceremony. The grand scale of the preparations made the ceremony feel like an intergalactic holiday. Every alien race with a non-aggressive foreign policy towards Earth had been invited and security was at an all-time high. With only three hours till the black tie event, field and desk agents alike scuttled around in a heighted frenzy, the phones (satellite and otherwise) rang in incessant cacophony, and the chief erupted whenever a hapless agent came too near.

No more time to sulk, Jay thought, as he surveyed the single empty lot in the cavernous parking garage. With one last glance, he straightened the cuffs of his tuxedo and headed upstairs to the banquet hall to help with any last minute details.

"Cheer up," said Elle, handing Jay a diagram of the place settings. She was in the middle of arranging the cutlery at the Piescinian table. He watched her line up soda straws by height, in light of the fact that the Piescines lacked opposable thumbs. "You can have X for a partner."
Jay frowned. "I'll pass."

"Aileen mentioned that Eidi's arriving today."

Jay breathed a sigh of relief that Aileen's tall, taciturn partner would be coming. Eidi's presence would help deter Kay and Aileen from sneaking off together.

"So, are there any other notables in attendance tonight?"

Elle surveyed the room with a slight smile. "Aside from Jeebs, his lady friend, and Frank the Pug, there's the infamous General Skahn."

"The overzealous one with the bratty daughter?" Jay shuddered. He thought back to the occasion when he'd chaperoned the tempestuous teenager to the mall, where she was promptly kidnapped. This caused her father to fly into a blind rage against MIB and all of Earth. "Isn't it dangerous to have invited him?"

"Dangerous not to," Elle explained. "Oh, your friend Troy will be in attendance as well. No doubt he'll want to sit with you."

The thought of melding with the teenage Symbiote again made Jay cringe. "Literally."

"And the Queen Baabalat is seated to your left. You delivered her baby, remember?"

"How could I forget such a labor intensive experience," muttered Jay, unconsciously moving his hand towards his stomach area. "This is turning into a blasted family reunion."

xxx

True to Elle's prediction, Jay found himself seated with Troy the Symbiote, who had requested to merge with him. He had also been assigned to sit with Eidi, two diplomats from Arquillia, a Syrenite pop star, a religious leader from Cloistros, and the Queen Baabalat and her little toddler, whom everyone adored. The only downside to the seating arrangement was that Troy was a messy eater, something Jay knew for sure from his previous encounters with the Symbiote.

The other agents were seated at various tables in order to mingle with their guests. Glancing around the room, he saw Elle sitting with her partner and a group of JeeD'ang dignitaries. She wore a long-suffering look on her face, although she was doing her best to remain politely interested in their conversation about JeeD'angian geneologies, a loud discourse that could be heard from three tables away. Apparently, the notables in Agent X's ancestry included six barbers, two gardeners, and a gravedigger on his mother's side.

"Look, there's Aileen and Kay," whispered Eidi, pointing slightly with her fork. Jay followed her gaze to see Kay looking roguishly handsome in a black tux. Next to him, Aileen, resplendent in a sleek silvery gown, was engaged in conversation with the Surgeon Superior of Makrosphagein.

Once the guests had settled down, Zed strode to the platform where a microphone had been set up. He waited until the spotlight manned by the Twins fell upon him.

"As our chefs tonight have truly outdone themselves with this stellar interstellar menu, I shall do everyone a favor and keep my speech brief.

I want to welcome everyone here and those who could not be here, the citizens of the planets you represent. Regardless of whether our ties were strong or just plain diplomatic in the past, I applaud your commitment to upholding intergalactic law. When the Ixxion aggressors compromised the sovereignty and survival of Earth, you did not stand idly by or tolerate their wanton acts of destruction. I thank you for that. As long as such like-minded beings continue to exist, I am confident of the safety of the MIB, of Earth, and of the whole world. Thank you."

"That speech wasn't a half bad," whispered Jay during the applause. Troy craned his neck to periscopic heights to watch Zed leave the stage and shake hands with the intergalactic leaders.

After an exchange of pleasantries, the Gullanthrian Chief of State stood up. His personal aid tinkled a fluted champagne glass with a well-manicured claw.

"On behalf of my people, I thank Zed and the MIB for your hospitality. This gift is a small token of our gratitude."

As if on cue, Agent U and another agent wheeled a cart into the function hall. The object of honor was hidden underneath a sheet.

"I present to you a treasured technology from our country," said the leader, beaming proudly. With a dramatic flourish, he swept aside the covering to reveal a towering stack of books—instruction manuals—a sleek silver box that seemed more like a toy than a satellite control system. Still, it was more than enough to make the Twins drool. They wasted no time in running a comprehensive security diagnostic on the device.

"Stunning, stunning," twittered Dr. Zeeltor, his head bobbing up and down as if it were on a hinge. "It process ever so fleetly and sweetly! Oooh, Bob's already connected it to the planetary defense system."

Once the initial excitement wore off on everyone except the technophiles in the room, the other dignitaries jumped to present their gifts and prepared words, even though the satellite system had stolen most of the thunder. The Syrenite pop star at Jay's table requested to sing a song commemorating this momentous occasion. Troy rolled his eyes rather conspicuously. Meanwhile, the other guests resumed their conversation over the main course.

Jay's attention wandered around the room once more. The Piescinian guests were slurping their soup through straws. Elle looked like she was still having a rotten time, while Kay and Aileen appeared to be thoroughly enjoying themselves.

"All in all, a smooth event," remarked Eidi, who knew exactly where Jay was looking.

"I guess." Jay shook his head. "Doesn't it bother you?"

Eidi nodded. "They spend all this time together—"

"—and we're completely ignored—"

"—but at the end of the day—"

"—they crawl back to us as if nothing's happened."

"—they end up parting ways because of work."

"Huh?"

"You're not even listening," said Eidi, exasperated.

"Hey! Where're you going?"

"To complain to Elle," interjected Troy. "Duh!"

Jay sawed angrily at his steak. "I'd forgotten you were up there."

Before Troy could reply, a pleasant electronic voice chirped, "Unidentified ship approaching. ETA O-twenty-two minutes." The whole room feel silent.

"Twins, you two are regular practical jokers," said Zed, a bit too heartily. "Nearly had me on."

An uneasy chuckle went around the room before it was cut short by the smug electronic voice. "ETA O-twenty-one minutes."

"Not so funny," whispered Troy.

"Pull up a visual," ordered Zed, and a diagram instantly appeared on the revolving screen.

"Picaroon ship," said Aileen, startling the Chief with her sudden appearance by his side. "Smuggling outfit."

Eidi's eyes narrowed.

"Jay, Kay, X, Elle, go with them to investigate," barked the Chief. Then he turned to a stunned crowd. "What do you know, MIB is back in business."