I'm SO SORRY for the long delay in updating this and everything else! I've been so busy and I have had so much work but hopefully I should be able to update again soon.
This is the last part of this story so I hope you enjoy it :)
The pane of glass was cold against her head as she gently rested it on the transparent material. Her eyes were all puffy from the tears she had shed and her heart was aching as she looked at all the machines attached to her precious granddaughter. Little Lexi Grace. Her little granddaughter, her daughter's daughter, her baby. Her eyes blinked, only for a fraction of a second, as she crossed her arms and stared through directly at the tiny baby in the incubator. The doctor surrounding her and inserting sharp needles and tubes into the little girls skin made Ronnie squirm and shudder with the thought of her granddaughter suffering.
She remained in the same position for several minutes before she had to tear her eyes away through the blurred vision, caused by the tears misting across her eyes. Why did this have to happen to her, to her precious Danielle and her treasured granddaughter? All the tests and blood samples this little baby had had to endure in her short life already, it just wasn't fair. Ronnie would do anything to take the pain away and be the one suffering.
For years, for twenty long years, she had yearned for her little girl, her baby, her Amy and now here she was alive with a little girl of her own but this wasn't how she had imagined it. They were both in hospital and Ronnie was stuck in the middle, not knowing where Danielle wanted her to spend her time and also not knowing anything about her baby.
Yesterday, Danielle had let her in and let her hold her in her arms and it felt so natural, so right, but yet now Ronnie wasn't sure where she stood. She wanted to help Danielle, to help take her fears and pain away but after all the things she had said, all the things she had done, maybe Danielle wouldn't let her. Maybe she didn't want to let her. But she couldn't let her daughter face this alone; she couldn't let her deal with this grief and raw pain by herself, not again. She had let her down too much and she wasn't prepared to let her little girl down again, not when they needed each other the most.
After a few more minutes, staring at her perfect blonde haired granddaughter, Ronnie walked away from the intensive care unit and made her way to her daughter's room. Oh how her baby had been through so much and yet, she still didn't know the full extent of what was to come. Of course she understood that something wasn't quite right but she was so naïve, so innocent. Ronnie wasn't sure she would understand the full extent of what was about to happen.
The room was silent as she entered, just as it had been when she had left. She let a small smile grace her face as she looked at her blonde haired daughter, so pristine and gentle as she lay there.
Her eyes were glued shut as she lay uncomfortably on the chair in the hospital room; the past 12 hours had taken its toll on her as she lay there engulfed in her nightmares. So much had happened, so much hadn't been said and there was so much, that as this moment in time, Danielle had no idea about.
Sighing, Ronnie opened her eyes to the white hospital room, a few stray tears leaking from behind her eyes as she thought about the terror and fear her daughter would soon have to face. She would be there, of course she would, she would hold Danielle in her arms and tell her everything would be ok. She would never let her go, and she would remind her baby that she would be there through everything. But Ronnie feared it wouldn't be enough, she feared that the pain and hurt would be too much for her precious daughter.
Her eyes drifted to a sleeping Danielle, so peaceful and angelic in her dreams. Her blonde hair was spread across the pillow and her eyes shut closed, small black circles encircling them the only sign of the tiredness she had endured. Ronnie couldn't help but smile as she saw her daughter so perfect and child like. Now wasn't really the time to be smiling but everything she had wished for was here. Her baby, her little girl was here and well.
So much had changed in the past twelve hours and Ronnie wasn't sure what to expect when Danielle awoke. Her granddaughter was fighting for her life and her little girl didn't fare much better, passing out due to loss of blood after the birth. The terror that ran through Ronnie's blood had never been so prominent, she had been petrified, haunted by the feeling of loss and grief she had felt two years ago when her father had lied about her baby dying.
Slowly, she saw Danielle's eyes prise open as she leaned forward, gently stroking her daughters forehead as a sign of comfort, tucking her hair behind her ears. She was so perfect, so very perfect.
"Hey," Ronnie whispered as she saw Danielle's eyes lock on hers. Those beautiful brown eyes that had been in Ronnie's eyes since that day twenty years ago, the shape and sparkle that they gave off when Danielle gave a small smile. Lexi had the same blue eyes as Danielle had had, the same shaped nose, shaped face and her hair was fair and blonde.
Ronnie assisted Danielle as she attempted to sit up in her bed, smiling as she did so. Her ears filled with the joyous sound of her daughter's voice as she heard her small timid voice,
"How is she?" Danielle whispered, as she looked at her mother. This was her mum, her mother, Ronnie Mitchell. Everything was so weird but at this moment in time, things weren't just about her, they were about her daughter, her little girl.
"Nothing's changed really," Ronnie replied, "They're still doing tests," she said sorrowfully before taking Danielle's hand in her own and giving it an encouraging squeeze, "She looks exactly like you did you know,"
Danielle blushed slightly, gently squeezing Ronnie's hand in return. This was so unreal, so perfect and exactly how she had hoped everything would be from day one. However, things weren't that simple. Her Lexi was ill, she was in hospital fighting for her life and yet she was only less than a day old. Nobody knew what was wrong with her and Danielle prayed that her little girl would make it. She wasn't sure what to expect from Ronnie but as this moment, she needed her mum to tell her everything will be ok, to hold her in her arms. She needed somebody to be strong for her and her daughter.
"Do you want to go and see her?" Ronnie quietly questioned as Danielle replied with a small nod. Danielle was apprehensive about seeing her daughter in so much pain; she was worried it would be too much. She was too weak to cope with the suffering her baby was going through, it broke her heart just thinking about it. It was amazing how much power this baby held over her, how much love she had for this child, for her child.
"Will you come with me?" Danielle asked her mother, tearing her eyes away as she did so. She was still too scared of rejection, she was too weak and vulnerable and with everything happening all at once, she wasn't sure how she would cope if Ronnie, once again, left her to fend for herself.
"Of course," Ronnie smiled as she reached out her hand and gently lifted Danielle's face upwards, embracing her daughter's face in her hands. "I'll be here for everything sweetie, we'll get through it," Ronnie soothed as she wiped the tears falling from her daughter's eye with her thumbs, before pulling Danielle into a hug, gently rubbing her hands up and down her back.
As Danielle was wheeled to the intensive car unit, Ronnie kept a firm grip on her daughter's hand. The nurse was carefully explaining the current situation Lexi was in to an unresponsive Danielle. The thoughts were muffled inside her head, the ache and confusion clouding over what should have been a joyous moment. What had she done wrong? Was this her punishment for almost aborting her daughter?
"The tubes might be a bit upsetting Danielle but there's nothing to worry about," the nurse carefully explained as they reached the door, "I'll be back in half an hour to take you back because you need your rest and so does your daughter,"
The brunette nurse let go of the handles of the wheelchair, she gave a comforting smile to Ronnie and a small nod. A few moments later, Ronnie had helped Danielle up out of the chair and was carefully helping her into the silent room. The only sound filling the air was the continuous beeps of the machines.
They made their way over, Ronnie assisting her baby and gulping back the tears that formed in her eyes.
Danielle did the same, letting out a sob as she finally placed her hands on the glass encasing her baby. She was so small, so tiny and helpless and here she was, having done nothing wrong, being kept alive by all these machines. She tightened her grip on Ronnie's hand, grateful for the support. Nothing else except little Lexi mattered at this moment in time, nothing else. The pain her mother had caused her was vanished and she only had eyes for her little girl.
"She's so small," Ronnie murmured as she moved her eyes from Danielle to Lexi and back again. She returned the grip on Danielle's hand as she wrapped her spare arm around her little girls shoulder, gently comforting her and soothing her.
It was a few minutes before Danielle found the courage to speak, "Wh…what did I do wrong?"
Feeling her heart crumble, Ronnie blinked back tears taking her daughter closer into her body, "Nothing baby, you did nothing wrong," she shook her head in disbelief as she carried on speaking, "these things happen, you did nothing wrong, nothing ok?"
Danielle didn't dare reply as her whole face broke down in tears, the sobs filling the eerie silence, as Ronnie took her in her arms, wrapping them silently around her daughter's body.
"Hey, it's ok Danielle, it's ok" she soothed, gently brushing her daughter's blonde hair, "everything will be ok. We have to be strong ok, strong for Lexi and we'll get through this,"
Danielle carried on sobbing, her quiet shakes engulfing Ronnie's heart as she herself let a few tears fall, "It's just you, me and Lexi, baby. We'll get through it, sweetie. Everything will be ok,"
As they two women shared a moment in their grief together, one of the machines suddenly stopped, before doctors rushed in, leaving Danielle and Ronnie together in the terror and anxiety for the little girl, who at only 12 hours old, had already made such an impact on both their lives…
