I don't want to be surrounded by the memories and feelings about Arthur but I don't have the choice. Camelot needs me.
Everywhere I looked there was something which was so closely linked to HIM.
"My Lady…Are you alright? I saw you leave the feast!" Leon had followed me that was certain.
His concern which laced his tone and his facial expression filled me with not happiness or joy but a feeling almost like warmth. The feeling seemed odd almost as if I shouldn't be feeling it, and it made me feel guilty.
I tried to show Leon that I was fine by smiling but he seemed to see through it.
"I'm fine, Leon." Although, I told him this I was also aware that the tone of my voice conveyed the exact opposite!
He looked at me more closely, his disbelief and concern still visible. By his looks, I knew he didn't believe me.
"If you say so, My Lady, but please I am always here for you…" He told me.
I simply nodded at him. I was grateful but I didn't want to admit it to him. That would mean admitting that I wasn't coping.
"If you'll just excuse me, Leon. I would like to retire.." I told him, I wanted to be on my own away from people seeing me.
A few hours later
I had finally dropped off to sleep. Recently, sleep was comforting to me. If only for a few hours, I was able to escape from the loneliness and hurt I was feeling towards Arthur. Little did I know that only a short while later that Haven would be ruined.
HER DREAM
"My Love. Guinevere…." I recognised the voice with a start. It was Arthur's. I couldn't see him but rather I could hear his voice. I was in a corridor, I would have known straight away as it was in Camelot.
His voice sounded exactly like it had done when he was alive and I couldn't help but wonder whether my imagination was bringing him in my dream as a way for me to cope.
...I miss you." I lapped up his words and before I knew it he stopped talking. The absence of his voice was so shocking and immense that I felt all of the warmth go out of my body and my eyes cloud over with tears.
My dream abruptly ended with me looking down the corridor unable to move. I briskly woke looking about the bedchamber. It was almost like I was expecting Arthur to be there, when he wasn't I laid back and pondered about my dream.
