10 Devastatingly Unoriginal Plotlines
The following entries of the list are in the format of example summaries that don't actually exist. They are simply product of the authoress's overactive imaginings.
1. Harry Potter wasn't raised by the Dursley's, even though it says so in all seven books! Instead, he was raised by Mike and Ike, a gay couple from the suburbs in Connecticut! How will Harry's dads react when they find out that their baby boy is a wizard?
2. Harry Potter wasn't the Potters' only child, even though it says so in all seven books! Instead, he has a twin sister named LaFrisha and she falls in love with Ron! Whoops, there goes the ending.
3. Voldemort and Bellatrix had a daughter named Mary Sue even though she is never mentioned in any of the seven books! Mary Sue is, of course, beautiful, falls in love with Harry, is Head Girl, has a big chest, and at least tries to be rebellious against her parents' beliefs when she's not out partying! Awww...
4. Hermione and Draco are Head Boy and Girl (gasp). They have to be Potions partners and share a suite and Hermione has to tutor Draco in every subject! They basically have to choice but to fall in love even though they absolutely hate each other!
5. Wait a minute, Mary Sue isn't Voldie's daughter! She's DUMBLEDORE'S GRANDDAUGHTER! And now, she's randomly just starting school as a seventh year! She falls in love with Harry and at the end they kill Voldemort together! YAY!
6. Hermione is all, like, in love with Ron and stuff. But then Harry Potter randomly is just like, "Yo, 'Mione, date me behind Ron's back, k?" And Mione is all like, "K, sweet." So then they like, date behind Ron's back . . . and then he like finds out and stuff . . . but at the end it turns out good because Ron gets conveniently run over by a bus in chapter two!
7. Hermione is a bushy-haired skank, but one day she gets a make-over by none other than MARY SUE HERSELF! Then Hermione is transformed into a Mini-Mary Sue! She starts to hate books, talks completely in chatspeak, flirt with Neville, listen to an iPod instead of do her homework, and eventually ends up going out with Harry/Snape/Ron/Draco/Remus/Sirius/Dumbledore/Flitwick/George's Ear/Harry's mom/Bellatrix/All the Weasley children/Rita Skeeter/Dobby/Neville/Fred's corpse/Fleur! And they all live happily ever after!
8. Hang on a second, Mary Sue is actually SIRIUS'S daughter! He never even knew about her until she was old enough to fall in love with Harry which is, of course, does the first time she meets him! How will Ginny handle it?!? Good news! Ginny gets run over by a bus in chapter two!
9. (Insert HP character here) has a diary! They write stupid little OOC ramblings in said diary, most of which are about how much they hate (insert all other HP characters names here). Example: Hermione's diary excerpt, "OMFG, Ginnie Weazley is such a ho! I don't c how Harry cud lyke her. she is a GINGER! WTF? Harry shud lyke, ttly go out wit mee! im so sexii! L0Lz. Cya 2morrow!
10. Remus and Sirius were straight their entire childhoods. What happens when they grow up, Remus gets a new girlfriend named (surprise, surprise) MARY SUE, and THEN Sirius and Remus realize that they're gay? They try for a secret romance, but in the end, Remus kidnaps Harry for no apparent reason, and moves with Sirius to the suburbs of Connecticut where they assume the false identities of Mike and Ike and begin to raise him as their own. (Please return to #1 as the vicious cycle continues).
