Hi everyone. I am very sorry for the delay *bows deeply* but I was unable to login on the site for a few days, and when I managed, at last, to do so, the site refused to let me upload documents... I was very frustrated, because I really wanted to be done with it. Anyway, here it is, the third and last chapter of this short story. I thought about transforming it into a real multi chapters story, but I would have had to redo everything to insert a plotline, and I didn't want it to spoil the original idea, so I may write another story, longer, along the same lines but with a plot. This one will stay rather plotless, but I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Random warnings: the usual yaoi/shonen-ai thing. Let's also say that this one IS the reason I rated the story M at first (I maybe unconsciously knew that I was going to write more than one chapter...). Since I forgot to mention it before, of course I don't own what is Arakawa-sensei's, I just borrowed it from her a bit to satisfy my craziness as well as readers who might like this kind of thing.
Oh, and while I'm at it, this story DOES NOT END WELL. I classified it as drama. I can write fluff, but I'm tired of happy endings happily-ever-after which sometimes is misplaced at the very end of a brilliant fanfiction. I was myself a bit surprised at how it came out, but the idea just popped in my head and wouldn't go away. So, hope you'll enjoy it anyway...
And if anyone spots typo mistakes, or abused grammar, or anything, let me know. Reviews are still very appreciated. Now I free you of my endless talking, let's read.
Nevermore
Chapter 3 : Icarus' Fall (Enlightened Wound)
Edward's mind was a bit clouded, to say the least, and he only realized that he was about to reach the house when he spotted the metallic figure of his younger brother bursting through the front door, Winry following. Still he wasn't very responsive, the only thing he was able to concentrate on was the queer sensation of Envy pressed against him, cool skin on his bare chest, the Sin's long bangs caressing his shoulder and tickling his side. Alphonse stopped in front of him and began talking, but his words couldn't get through the mental fog that covered Edward's conscience since he began walking while carrying Envy in his arms, and only the sound of his voice reached his conscience. The blond Alchemist absent-mindedly let his gaze trail along the Homunculus' frame, and jumped when two metallic hands clutched his shoulders, coming back abruptly to reality.
"Brother ?" said Al, bending over and staring into Edward's eyes. "Were you even listening ?"
He sighed. The obviously clueless expression on his brother's face was the only answer he needed.
"You shouldn't have gone like that without telling anyone," he said, his hands falling back at his sides. "Now, could you explain to me why you are coming back carrying Envy ?"
Edward looked again at said Sin, then closed his eyes, sighed and met Al's gaze.
"Long story," he said, and, passing round his brother, climbed the few steps and entered the house.
Winry, who had gone to get Pinako while Alphonse talked to Edward, was in the middle of the hallway. She stared at the motionless form in her friend's arms, opened her mouth to say something, but something about his expression made her stay silent. Edward went up stairs and into the guest room which was almost never used, managed to pull the covers on the bed down with one foot, and laid Envy on the mattress. He covered the Homunculus from waist to toes, then sat at his side. Something strange twisted in his chest when he noticed that the Sin's skin was almost as white as the pillow. He never appeared so… vulnerable, he thought. From what he had seen, Envy had always been strong and untouchable, but right now… And during That Night, when he had silently listened the Sin talking and revealing things he didn't know he was able to think – feel – and his precise analysis of those feelings… Edward had understood then that there was much more about Envy than meet the eye.
And what Lust had told him… Was he really responsible for these changes ? Edward sighed, and set his eyes back on Envy. He remembered that sparkle apparently ignited by him in the Sin, when they were close, chasing a bit of the darkness away, and the urge to make a flame of this small flicker came back, impulsive and demanding. He brought his hand near Envy's face, but didn't really know what to do with it. The first thing that came to his mind was to brush the long dark hair, and so he did, his fingers barely touching the still soaked strands, soft like wet silk. A hesitant step behind him, and he turned his head to see Winry.
"Ed ?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah, I'm coming. I think I owe you all an explanation."
He got up and followed his blond mechanic down stairs, in the living room where Pinako and Al were already sitting, certainly waiting for him. He sighed inwardly. This was going to be long. He went to the nearest window and gazed through the glass in the darkened landscape, arms crossed, resting his weight on his automail leg. There was a moment of silence.
"Brother ?"
Al's voice broke the silence.
"Yeah," he answered.
"Ed…"
That was Winry.
"Who is he, exactly ?"
"Envy. He is a Homunculus," Edward said bluntly.
No need to beat around the bushes. This situation was awkward enough.
Another silence.
"But… Aren't they those people…"
The blond girl's voice was unsure.
"Who are after us, either trying to kill us or to manipulate us, yeah."
Edward swirled around and leaned his back on the window, facing them.
"Okay, listen. Al, remember that night in that village when you found me awake, window open, and asked me if I was alright ? About two weeks ago ?"
"Yes, I remember," the boy in the armor answered. "But what does it have to…"
"That night, I saw Envy. I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't say anything."
That's pretty much the truth, anyway, he thought wryly. If Al's eyes could widen, they would have done so.
"You saw him ? But… What, he did nothing to you ?"
Edward quickly repressed a cynical snicker.
"No. He talked. He thought I was asleep, but I woke up a bit after he came into the room, I think. He…"
He ran a hand into his loose hair, slightly frustrated. What could he say ? 'So he kept talking, he said that he was attracted to me and that he couldn't do anything about it, he realized I was awake, then he kissed me, and I strangely kissed him back' ? No way.
"When he realized that I had heard everything, he wanted to leave. I think I wasn't really supposed to hear what he was saying. And what he said back then… I realized there was something different about him, something more than his usual psychotic, hateful self…"
"How did he get here, anyway ?" Winry asked.
"Another Homunculus brought him. Lust," he said for Alphonse. "You know what Homunculi are, don't you ?" he asked Winry and Pinako.
"Artificial humans," said the old woman. "A body, a mind, but no soul."
"Yes," said Edward. "They need to be fed red stones to gain power and strength. The only stone they have when they are created is one in their chest, like a heart but not quite. Lust told me that because of the changes in Envy, his body started to reject the stones, and therefore, his Homunculus nature, and that she couldn't afford their master to see him weakening, because Envy is like a brother to her or something... She didn't tell the other Homunculi anything, she just came to me because I was the only one she could trust with him… I know that's strange," he said quickly when he spotted their dubious expression, "but I just know that's not a trick, I saw him, he's really weak right now, no one could act that way…"
He rubbed his automail shoulder unconsciously.
"Look, it's complicated, but I just ask you to trust me, okay ? If something goes wrong, you still can blame me and beat me to death, but I know this isn't going to happen."
They stayed silent for awhile, then Al got up.
"Brother," he said, "if you trust him, right, even if I'm a bit skeptical, I trust you. If you say there's no trick, then I believe you."
"Well, I'm more than skeptical," Winry added, "but since you seem to care that much, I agree with Al."
Pinako was still silent. She looked at Edward seriously, then got up.
"He can stay until he's better, if you trust him."
The young blond man closed his eyes and brought a hand over them.
"Thank you for trusting me…" he murmured while the old woman was leaving the room.
"Well," Winry said, "I'm going back to sleep now."
And she left too. There was a moment of silence.
"There's something you didn't tell us, right ?" Alphonse asked quietly.
Edward didn't answer and kept his eyes covered. His brother had always been too perceptive for his own good.
"That's alright if you don't want to talk about it. Just, remember we're here if you want to. I know you wouldn't do that if you weren't sure about it."
Edward only moved when the heavy footsteps of Al's armor stopped, most certainly because he had gone to bed to rest, if not to sleep. Leaning his bare back against the cold glass of the window, letting his hand and arm fall slack at his side, he tilted his head up, staring at the ceiling. What was this irresistable urge to take care of the Sin, again ? Thinking of Envy, his apparent helplessness, his confession, his troubled mind, made something in him twinge one more time. Edward was midway up the stairs before he could remember when he bagan walking, but felt too tired to investigate. His legs led him back into the guest room, where the pale Homunculus was laying, immobile. The young Alchemist sat on the edge of the bed, slightly turned so that he could see the other, and stared.
Well, let's say he did. More precisely, his eyes roamed endlessly along Envy's frame and features, taking on small details that he usually wouldn't have noticed. Envy's eyelashes were thick, dark and rather long, and even though his eyes were actually closed, Edward just knew they added some intensity into the Sin's gaze. His collarbones stuck out visibly beneath the sleeveless semi-turtleneck, and his stomach was really flat, ghosts of abs patterning the apparently smooth flesh. His hands were narrow and delicate, and on top of his long fingers, his nails were almost almond-shaped. When he began setting his interest on the slender waist and half-visible hipbones, Edward groaned, tore his eyes elsewhere and rubbed his temple. Wake up, he thought harshly to himself, it's not before you kissed him once that now you have to begin being… what ? Attracted ? … Nevermind. He's changed, in his mind, in his personality, and you understood it, and since he's not a psychotic killer anymore, you feel like you have to help him, that's all… THAT'S ALL !
Great. Now he was having conversations with his own mind.
"You'll drive me insane," he muttered, glancing at Envy.
He gazed trough the window, and let his mind wander. He couldn't tell how many time he stayed like that, but he suddenly felt dizzy, his eyelids shutting on his own will, his body, succumbing to sleep, falling sideway, and the feeling of sheets under his cheek was the last thing he remembered before he gave in and sank into Morpheus' arms.
~o~
Homunculi didn't need to sleep. They could, of course, as they could eat if they wanted to, but wouldn't resent being deprived of it. That's why usually, their sleep was light, for their mind wasn't far under the surface just because their body didn't need to rest. Also, Homunculi didn't dream. Dreams were induced by feelings and emotions, and one requires a soul in order to feel. Homunculi lacked souls, thus they didn't dream. Since they don't have dreams to slowly leave before waking up, when Homunculi awake, they regain instantly all their senses and wits, brutally, and they are immediatly able to think, fight and act. Envy hadn't been one to be different. Now he was, and the cause of it undoubtedly has blond hair and striking golden eyes.
Envy was dreaming, for once, of warm light surrounding him and of sunbeams gently caressing his not-cold-anymore skin, and while his consciousness came back bits by bits, the dream fading away, the first thing that reached the Sin's mind was that the warmth was still there. That meant it was real, didn't it ? Now slightly more conscious, Envy noticed a presence beside him, and he realized the warmth was coming from that same presence. Still in slumber, without opening his eyes, he turned on his side, curled up a bit and snuggled as close as he could against that warm comforting form, resting his forehead on something both hard and soft. His mind barely registered it certainly was someone he was nearly gluing himself to, but he felt so good lying there that he began falling back into sleep.
The Homunculus mumbled something unintelligible when he half-consciously felt the figure next to him shifting a little, frowned when a weight – lukewarm metal, intuition told him – was thrown across his waist, not that cold, but almost, compared to where he was pressing his face ; but sighed in contentment when that weight rested on his back, pulling him even more closer into the warmth. Feeling it radiating, heating his skin wherever he touched it, Envy breathed in a scent of cinammon, honey and sunbathed fruits he remembered but couldn't place a picture on. Letting his body relax completely, he went back to sleep more blissfully than he ever did.
~o~
The first thing Edward saw, when he cracked open one of his eyes, was deep emerald hair spilled everywhere, obscuring his vision. He backed up a little, realizing that his cheek also rested on some black-greenish strands, and could only stare when he noticed his automail arm securely wrapped around Envy, cradling the Sin very close to his chest. Said Sin was nuzzled against him, slightly curled up, arms held to his chest and hands in loose fists. His face was peaceful, his lips parted a bit, and Edward thought haphazardly that he he looked like a child, an innocent one. Shaking his head and wondering why the hell he had used such paradoxical terms as innocent and Envy in the same sentence, he let go of the Homunculus and began getting up, before freezing. First of all, how did he end up sleeping with Envy in his arms ? I must have fallen asleep while I was still sat near him, and while being asleep I moved unconsciously… Yeah, that must be it…
Getting up slowly, cautious not to wake the Sin up (he still needed rest, right… Right ?), he let him sleep and made his way to the door, bare chest, bare feet, hair loose and ruffled, only boxers-clad. He shut the door silently and went down stairs to get the breakfast his stomach was already demanding. Seeing Winry in the kitchen, he grumbled something before opening the fridge and reaching for the bottle of orange juice.
"Still too much asleep to remember how to greet someone properly, Ed ?" said the blond girl, grinning widely. "What are you doing with the orange juice, anyway ?"
Edward turned his head, giving her a confused look.
"Er, breakfast ?"
She rolled her eyes.
"It's past noon, you moron, we're having lunch in twenty minutes."
"Already ?" A sigh escaped the blond Alchemist's lips. "Well, I didn't sleep that much last night, so it's normal I woke up later than usual…"
Winry's eyes became serious.
"By the way, how is… Envy, that's it ?"
"It is. He needs rest," he shrugged. "He's still asleep. I'll grab a shower before lunch, if you don't mind," he added, scratching the back of his head and heading to the stairs.
"Right," Winry said.
When he disappeared from sight, her gaze remained thoughtfully fixed on the door. Edward didn't know that this morning, when she woke up, Al was already in the living room, and told her that Edward didn't come back to their room last night, or rather very early this morning. She said that he may have stayed near the Homunculus he brought mysteriously back from the night, and went to check the guest room. Edward didn't know that she creaked the door open, enough to see the two figures embracing each other, and, apparent even in sleep, the sheer possessiveness of his automail holding the Sin protectively tight.
Something was going on. Winry could sense it, she could feel it in the air, but whatever it was, she couldn't tell yet.
~o~
Envy opened his eyes. He found himself rested and alert, surprisingly enough. He sat up and stretched cautiously ; his muscles protested a bit, but he felt no pain. His glanced at his surrounding, looking at the window and guessing from the sun's position that it was maybe three o'clock in the afternoon, more or less. He wasn't hearing anything, nobody seemed to be in the house. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, the Homunculus got up and walked to the window. He felt a little drained, but nothing that would last. There was something different, though, not really like something missing, but close enough…
"At last, you got up. I was wondering if you still needed more rest."
Startled, Envy turned around, and his eyes fell on Edward, who was leaning his right shoulder on the door's frame, arms crossed. The Sin hadn't heard him coming and opening the door. He studied the blond young man for a while, finally getting used to being fascinated each time he sees him, then let out an imperceptible sigh, crossed his arms and, glancing once again at the room, opened his mouth.
"Where are we, anyway?"
"Resembool," came the steady answer. "My native little village."
The Sin frowned slightly.
"Oh, yeah, I remember Lust telling me that she couldn't leave me in the state I was and that she was going to ask you for help…"
"And you agreed with that ?" Edward's voice was just a tad taunting, but without malice. "I thought I wasn't your favorite person in the world…"
The look in his eyes denied his words. He knew, he felt that something crucial had changed in their relationship, and he was cleverer than to try and be blind to it. Moreover, that little incident a fortnight ago, even if not voiced, lingered between them, somehow drawing them closer, without their noticing.
"Well, what else could have been done ?" Envy replied, spreading his arms theatrically and making a show of a shrug, finding the remains of his usual sarcastic personality. "You were the only one we could turn to, weren't you ?"
Edward looked into his eyes, both serious and hesitant.
"So, you really are… I mean, the stones…"
"If I lost them ? Yes. Did I lose my numerous spare lives ? Yes. Does it influences my life expectancy ? Not really. If no one kills me, I'll still be immortal. I'm still immune to diseases and other poisons, but if one manages to stab me right in the chest, well, I guess that would be the last time one would be able to do it when I'm still alive…"
"So you don't age, but you can be killed…"
"That's it, Fullmetal. You got it exactly. By the way, aren't there anyone else in here ?"
"Yeah, Al, Winry, my mechanic, and Granny Pinako. They went grocery shopping and dragged my brother with them to carry their stuff. I stayed to look after you," he shrugged.
There was a silent moment, where both Sin and Alchemist stared at each other, until the green-haired Homunculus took one step closer, drifting his eyes away on the floor.
"You know, what you heard me say, that other night…"
Edward tensed slightly, but nodded silently, and Envy caught the motion while glancing a bit nervously at him. The Sin didn't know what was pushing him to talk about it, but it seemed that his tongue stopped obeying his brain, forming words that will obviously weight the atmosphere, but he felt the need to do so.
"I meant it. Every single thing."
"I know." Edward's voice was firm. "I sensed it, I sensed you had something different. You couldn't be lying. Your description of how you were feeling was too… real not to be true…"
"After the… last part of our encounter," the Sin said in a low voice, nearly a murmur, carefully, slowly and a bit awkwardly, "I fled because I was scared of what happened, I wasn't expecting anything like that, but I realized that it was easier to bear that… attraction… than before. I don't really know if it's linked," he added, more for moderating his words than anything else, they both knew it, "but I want to ask you something…"
Edward was looking at Envy. Right in the eyes. Since that night, those words, that kiss, even since he had woken up this morning holding the Homunculus, he had realized that, no matter what, he just wanted to chase the darkness away from him and stay close to prevent it from coming back. He had just been in denial. Now, looking at an unsure and cautious Envy, he felt the urge coming back with all its strength, but stayed still while the Sin struggled with words, and, step by step, began walking towards him.
"Well, you are the one to decide, huh ? But… I feel that's important… Just… Could you… do it… again… Please ?"
A few inches separated them now. Envy itched to reach and touch Edward and his warm brightness, but remained motionless. Now that they were close, he felt like invisible threads was tugging at his body, demanding that he got closer. He inhaled sharply, still looking into Edward's golden eyes. The Alchemist said nothing for a short moment, then lift his flesh arm and slowly rested his hand on the crook of Envy's neck, whose breath accelerated slightly.
"If that's what you want," murmured the young man, his breath caressing the Homunculus' face, "I'll give you light."
With that, tilting his head back a little, he crashed their lips together. The first time they kissed, it was a bit clumsy, hesitant, slow and eventually sensual when they gave up all thoughts and focused on the sensations. But still perfect. This one was fierce and demanding and passionate, and it was even more perfect. Edward's automail wound into Envy's hair while his left hand tensed on the other's shoulder, and the Sin's arms embraced the Alchemist tightly. This time, Edward was in control. He nibbled at Envy's lower lip, licked and elicited a moan from the other. Lips parted, and the blond took his time exploring the other's mouth before wrapping his tongue around Envy's. Now he knew what to expect, and he took advantage of that knowledge. Need for air parted them, foreheads connected, both panting and aroused.
"That's great…" said the Sin, "But what are we doing, now that we are… Hnn…"
He gasped when Edward rolled his hips against his, creating a heated and firm friction that sent spikes of pleasure up their spines.
"What do you think ?" whispered the Alchemist.
His suddenly revealed need to bring the Homunculus close and never let go had washed away everything else.
"You want me, right ?"
His slurry voice sent shivers in the Sin.
"You know what they say. Want. Take. Have. So," Edward practically purred, "you just know what to do…"
That last sentence shut down Envy's brain completely. Growling slightly, he turned Edward around and pushed him back, making him stumble while he was nibbling his neck just below his jaw. The blond fell flat on the bed, and lifted his arms while the other tugged at his black tank top. The piece of fabric was thrown away somewhere, and before Edward could even think 'Philosopher's Stone', his pants were open, and he brought his hips up so that Envy could slip them down his legs. What he didn't expect was the fact that the Sin caught his boxers with his pants' belt, and now he was completely naked, flushed, aroused and panting, sprawled under the heated gaze of his former enemy.
Envy backed up a little, and with a bright blue light, he morphed his own clothes off, and let his eyes roam on the body of the one who had obsessed him for so long, who had made him try and reach the light he was creating, whom he had desired with a passion stronger than any feeling of hatred, and for whom he had begun to feel, even more than desire…
Edward's hair, loose from the hair tie which had snapped somewhere during their heated embrace, was spilled everywhere on the bed, around his head, like a halo. The sight let Envy voiceless, the flush and sheer sensuality mixed with a bit of innocence and curiosity, body warm against his skin and radiating, made the Sin capture the blond's mouth hungrily one more time, as if he would never get enough of it. His kiss was responded to eagerly. His lips left the other's and trailed along Edward's jaw, his neck, his shoulders, his collarbones, his nipples, his navel ; kissing, biting, licking, nibbling, while his hands brushed, caressed and teased… His mind was chanting in utter glee, he was shivering with joy and the relieve of finally being able to get close and touch this wonderfully warm being, glowing with light, attractive and comforting, in one word, delightful.
One of Envy's hand reached hesitantly the smooth skin of Edward's inner thigh, caressing, before wrapping around his length firmly while his tongue was working on his left nipple. He was rewarded by a groan, a back arching and hips bucking. He stroked there, agonizingly slowly, before bringing his head near the blond's head and letting his hot breath tease the shell of his ear.
"I want to take everything of you… I want you… But I want you to take me…" he whispered, trembling in anticipation.
A golden stare pierced his amethyst eyes, and before he knew it he was on his back, Edward's mouth travelling on his skin, teasing and touching him. The Alchemist's hand ghosted over his belly and reached his erection, gripping the base and stroking up with a slow motion. Envy moaned, then a gasp escaped his lips when a thumb rubbed the tip of his member. Through half-lidded eyes, he saw Edward bring a hand to his lips and suck two fingers, tongue swirling over the tips when he put them out of his mouth. He stared into the Sin's eyes, then bent to kiss him passionately, tongues dancing, while his hand reached between the other's legs and inserted one finger into him.
The sudden feeling made Envy arch his back. This was unusual, but not painful, and the blond's other hand still caressing his body, added to the heated kiss they were sharing, mixed the odd sensation with pleasure. He inhaled sharply when a second finger entered him, and Edward swallowed his gasp. Soon enough, when the blond brushed that spot, the Homunculus was arching and writhing under him, and Edward's own hardness ached at the sight. He touched that special spot again, sending flashes of white in Envy's brain, then withdrew his fingers, making the other whimper a bit at the loss.
Purple eyes, darker than usual due to lust and want, stared at him, and he stared back.
"Edward… I want you… inside… now…" the Sin panted, craving for release.
"Everything you want," the blond grinned, positioning himself between his legs.
Their lips locked one more time while Edward entered Envy in one slow thrust. The sensation was sharper than with fingers, the Homunculus felt so full it was almost painful, but when the other began moving inside him, his member pressing against the spot that was sending white lightening into his spine and brain every time it was brushed, pleasure overwhelmed him. He threw his arms around Edward's neck, bringing him close, wounding his hands into his blond bangs and circling his waist with his own legs. The young blond man was panting and hissing unintelligible random words against his lover's neck.
The heat was growing, the friction became nearly unbearable, and in just one more thrust, Envy was coming, arched against Edward's body, eyes closed tightly, arms stiffened around the blond's neck and back. The last part of his mind that wasn't clouded felt the warm light emanating from his lover engulfing him, overwhelming him, and, taking hungrily what it had craved for, faded to leave only pleasure. The sudden contraction of the muscles around him had the Alchemist also coming, biting not that gently into the other's shoulder to contain a scream. They both collapsed afterwards, Edward rolling on his side so that he would not crush the other under him. Propped up on one elbow, the blond let his hand trail along the Sin's chest.
"I reached you." His murmured words were a bit amazed. "I reached you. I managed to get to you, to bring you close…"
He did. Never Envy had felt that complete, that good, that human. Turning his head and looking at Edward, he felt something in him, something that now, bathed in light, he wasn't scared to call love. He opened his mouth to say something, but the sudden pain in his chest stopped him. A small gasp escaped his lips, and he looked down. Where his heart would have been, had he himself been human, the red stone which replaced it was glowing eerily, red light emanating from under his skin. Hissing in pain, he brought a hand to his chest, while Edward's voice reached his ears without understanding what he was saying. He still felt his warm hand just below his own, which was clutching at his heart.
The sound of something glassy breaking resonated into the room, and the pain became just unbearable. Envy opened his mouth and inhaled noisily, hand clawing at his skin, the other clutching the sheets beneath him. That had been too god to be true. That obviously couldn't last. Too eager to reach the sun, the wax linking the wings to his back melted, the feathers burnt, and now he was falling, falling into eternity. He hastily tilted his head up, staring one last time into those golden pools full of warmth and worry, silently telling them that he had no regrets. His vision narrowed, and he closed his eyes as he was pulled into darkness one more time, feeling two warm hands on the skin of his shoulders. At least he had the answer to his question. Now he knew pretty well that a red stone in one's chest really wasn't fit to feel human emotions. Ever. With that last thought, the fall ended, and everything went black.
The End
