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Chapter 3: Stay

While Kate slept he was proactive. He rang his mother to see how much Kate had done with regards to preparing for the arrival of their child. She had made a good start with all the basics but he got on with sorting the rest; even ordering more of the basics which would be delivered to her place. He hoped that they wouldn't ever be used here but he was trying to show his support whatever it may be. He ordered her groceries online, finding all the foods that would help with her blood pressure and help her body. He ordered more maternity clothing, especially loungewear and pyjamas. He cleaned her place as well as restocking the essentials so that it was more like a home. He had everything delivered because he did want to leave her place in case she woke up to find him gone. As dinner time approached he started making her the most nutritious and filling dinner he could find with what he had at his disposal.

Kate woke up to the smell of freshly cooked veg, chicken and something she couldn't quite determine. Not wanting to get out of bed immediately she waited to wake up properly. A few minutes later she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Kate, I need you to wake up."

"M'wake." She mumbled in response.

"Okay, I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready. Do you want me to put it on a tray to bring in here or are you happy to eat out there?"

"Less chance of me and the bed wearing the dinner if I eat out there." Trays don't balance on bumps and placing the tray on her knees wouldn't end well either.

"Okay, let me get your slippers then I'll help you up." Usually Kate would argue but being pregnant and tired she knew better. If someone if offering help then let them.

"Good, dressing gown too please."

"Yes, dear." He hadn't meant to say that so soon, just in case it made her uncomfortable but she seemed to have missed it or chose not to acknowledge it. They linked arms to walk through to the kitchen but what Kate saw astounded her. A fully prepared meal with sides and by the look of the bowls and fruit lined up, dessert too.

"Castle, what is all this? What did you do?"

"Things that I should have done before now, things I should do without having to think twice about it. Things to make amends, things to fix us."

"Castle-"

"I thought I was dealing with the PTSD when in fact I was only making it worse. If I had listened more to you then I bet that I would be doing an awful lot better. I wasn't injured badly but so often when I close my eyes, I'm back there. I don't know why I've treated you or anyone like I have. It is as if I've become a different person."

"Castle-" He cut her off again, he needed to say what he'd been thinking while she was asleep.

"What I've done has been completely unacceptable; I'm ashamed to have done such things and to have treated you so poorly. When my mother came home and told me that you weren't coming home and that you had been put on bed rest…maybe it is the snap back in reality I need. I embarrassed that it took you not coming home for me to realise what a jerk I have been. I've been selfish and I now realise that it is just about me anymore. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done but this is me proving to you that I'm in this and I will be there for you and our child from this day until the day I die."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, just let me continue to help you."

"Okay, can we eat though? I'm starving."

"Of course." Rick answered. He helped Kate to sit down at the table before sitting opposite her.

Once she had started eating he gathered up the courage to ask her about their son. "Can you tell me everything about the baby? I'm listening now and I want to know as much as you do."

"Okay, for starters he's a hell of a kicker. My bladder is his trampoline." At least when he's woken up by the sound of the toilet flushing he'll know why.

"No wonder I hear the toilet flush so frequently."

"Yeah, anyway he loves hand to hand or foot to hand."

"Can you show me? I know before-" He asked excitedly before realising that she had once offered but didn't take her up on it. He really had been distant.

"Later, he's asleep now. I'd like him to stay that way."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just meant-"

"Don't be sorry, I want you to experience this too just when he's awake." Kate replies, smiling, glad that he's taken an interest in their son.

After half an hour of talking all things baby Kate began to yawn. Their conversation had been free flowing just like any normal couple would and what they used to be like.
"C'mon, Kate, let's get you to bed." He insisted.

"Okay." He helped her to her feet once more, leading her to the bedroom.

"You want to change?"

"Nah, good like this." She replied, too exhausted to change, loungewear was comfy enough to sleep in.

"Anything you need?"

"Can you get a glass of water for me please?" She asked as she shook her slippers off and laid down on the bed.

"Of course."

"Thank you." She said as he placed the glass down. "Are you staying?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll just put the sofa bed up."

"Meant in here. Bed."

"You want me to stay in the bed? With you?"

"Hmm, yep. Want you close." He was doing a dance inside, so grateful that she was letting him in.

"Anything you want."

"Thank you. Bed is warmer."

"I'm glad to be a heat source." He replied, slightly confused.

"Maybe daddy will be able to calm baby down when he wakes his mother up."

Still squealing inside at what was happening, they had a chance and that's all he needed.


Kate was delighted when she woke up to find Rick still there, asleep behind her. She wasn't pleased that she had been woken up by her need to use the toilet or her building hunger. She waddled to the bathroom to relieve herself then onto the kitchen to relieve her hunger.

Rick was awakened by the closing and opening of cabinet doors as well as the kettle boiling. He walked through to the kitchen to see Kate staring into a cupboard.
"Hey." She greeted.

"What's got you up?" Rick asked.

"Pregnancy."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Full but now empty bladder and empty stomach."

"Can I make you anything?"

"I'd say yes if I knew what I wanted."

"That's fair. Want me to make your tea?" He said as he moved towards the kettle.

"Please?"

"What about if I made you an omelette?"

"With what in it?"

"Anything you feel like; ham, peppers..."

"That'll take ages. You're barely awake."

"I'm fine, I haven't slept so well in a long time. No nightmares just sweet dreams."

"Really? That's great." It was, he'd hadn't had undisturbed sleep since he was rescued but this time he had gone to sleep happy with dreams of his family.

"Yeah it is."

"What's got you up?"

"Pregnancy." He parroted, although he wasn't pregnant he was up because of Kate's pregnancy.

"Ha." Kate laughed at his answer.

"Omelette?" He offered once more. She contemplated it but nothing else seemed appealing.

"You really don't mind?"

"No, I want to."

"Great."

"How's the baby?"

"Awake" Kate's son places a swift kick to the lower left side of her abdomen. "And now he's, oww, kicking. Here, you want to feel?"

"For real?"

"For real." She takes his hand and places it on her abdomen at the site of his last kick. It's barely a couple of seconds before they feel their son kicking.

"Wow that's incredible and strong."

"You should feel it on my end."

"Does it hurt? I mean ever really, really hurt?" Rick questioned. He knew that babies kicked but had always wondered how much it actually hurt.

"Sometimes it does, apparently will be worse when he gets less room."

"I apologise on his behalf." Rick said as he went back to making her omelette.

"My dad said I was bad, something about long legs."

"Ah yes, those oh so fine long legs." Kate falls quiet at his comment with the realisation that he'll now see her naked body once again. Not the one with a flat stomach and toned limbs but the one with a baby growing inside which has caused weight gain and already scarred her body. "What did I say wrong?" Rick asked as he immediately noticed her changed demeanour.

"It's just me. Pregnancy is taking its toll. I've got stretch marks everywhere, ugly swelling in my feet and ankles. I'm afraid I'll never get anywhere near what I was. I'm afraid that you won't like the way I look and will leave me for the younger looking model." It was an odd statement, she was alluding to the fact that they were still together which in fact neither of them understood exactly what they were. They weren't exactly lovers but they hadn't broken off their engagement either.

"What? No, of course I wouldn't. Sure being pregnant will leave its mark but...wait here." He goes to fetch some cream that arrived in one of yesterday's deliveries. "I had this delivered, I didn't know if you had any but this got great reviews and...and I thought you might try it."

"You got this for me?" She asked as she took the bottle of cream he held out to her.

"Yep, I knew you had cream but-"

"It's okay, I know what you mean. I'll have a shower later then we can give it a try?"

"You sure you want me there?" He asked, given what she had just said he thought that she would have been more apprehensive towards him seeing her sans clothing.

"You're the one who got me pregnant and I'm losing all my dignity when I give birth. Most of it has gone already so being naked while you rub cream into my skin is the least of my worries right now."

"Do you know the plan for the birth yet?"

"If it were up to me it would be a natural delivery so no meds but if the problems continue I won't get a say in it." The talks with her doctor previously had made this clear but part of her still hoped that she'd be able to have her baby naturally.

"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Don't let me get stressed, help me take care of myself and…" She struggled with the last request, "don't leave me. Please." Her voice had broken, damn hormones that made her so vulnerable.

"Oh, Kate." Castle said as he came to hug her.

"I'm just scared." If there was a scale she would be off the scale.

"I know that you are, just stick with it okay? I'm here-"

"This isn't a fix it all, Rick. One night doesn't make up for more than four months you not wanting me or this baby and us fighting." Again with mood swings, within two minutes she had gone from normal to depressed back to normal then to aggressive.

"I know it doesn't, I didn't expect it to but there's no more of that. You've got lots of support, not least from my mother."

"She's been there for me. She's done this all before." Kate told him.

"I know that, now, and I'll never be able to thank her enough for it."

"Damn right." Kate said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Just let me-" Rick said as he wiped the other tears away.

"What other stuff did you buy?" She asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Yeah okay, I got some other stuff too but this is what's here so far."

"What did you get?" Kate asked eager to know how far he had gotten.

"I got a bassinet, nappies, bottles, a blanket and some clothes. I hope that's okay."

"That's amazing."

"There's other stuff at the loft too but I didn't know where to put it yet."

"I had a list of all the stuff I needed to get and each day it seemed to get longer."

"It is daunting. I thought things like a pram or a cot we should do together. I'm sure Alexis' cot is still somewhere and perfectly good but you need to agree on it. Also if it is one or two."

"Yeah we do." She agreed quietly, looking at the table. Things like those do need to be done together, as for the quantity she didn't know if she would be here when her son was born. It all depended on what happened between them and when their son arrived.

"I'm not trying to buy you back because I know it won't work but we should have done this already so see it as catching up."

"I'm not coming back to the loft right away-"

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"I just need to know that this Rick is the one that's here for good not just the one that just wants me at the loft."

"I just ask that you let me continue to help you so I can prove that I'm done moping and messing about. You need me, my son needs me so it's time I got my act together and started trying."

"Oh trust me, if you keep making me food like this then you can do all the cooking you want."

"So I'm a bed warmer and a chef."

"It's a cold winter and baby gets hungry."

"Baby or Kate?"

"Baby makes his mother hungry." Kate told him as she neatly placed her cutlery on the plate pushing it away. Kate lets out a long yawn that has Rick smiling.

"You're tired again. Let's get you to bed." Rick said.

"Always am. You want to feel him kick again?" Kate asked as she started walking back to the bedroom.

"He's still at it?" Rick asked as Kate laid down on the bed then he joined her.

"Yep."

"If you think it will work?"

"Worth a shot." They lay in bed under the covers with Rick behind Kate, he put his arm around her with his hand on the underside of her belly where their son was making his presence known.

"What if I sing?"

"Try it." As Rick sings the baby's movements lessen and be eventually realises that the lullaby has sent Kate to sleep too. He lays there for a while thinking of what he had nearly lost and what is still to come.


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