Hey guys! This will probably be my last update for about a week or so, I have finals coming up and everything, so Im going to try and stay away from the writing this week haha!
I want to thank everyone for reviewing me, I really really appreciate it, and its what drives me to write more andget these chapters up here. I especially want to thanks Imagine What If(your feedback has been really really interesting to read) and RachelGreen who reviewed both chapters =)
Once the two were alone Ross leaned against the railing facing Rachel on the swing. She looked him up and down for a few moments, as he stood in front of her wearing only swim shorts…had he been working out?
"Whats up?" He asked causally. She was shaken from her shallow thoughts, he had no idea what was about to hit him.
Rachel contemplated for a moment to try and figure out how to go about this. The best way, she determined was to just come right out and say it.
"Look Ross, I have to tell you something..Last night when you saw me…I wasn't throwing up because of drinking the night before" Rachel began, overwhelmed. She then glanced up and stared into his chocolate pools "I, uhh..I mean, there's not east way for me to say this…"
"What? Rach, what is it?!" Ross exclaimed in an extremely confused manner, he was getting concerned "Are you okay?"
"Ross, Um I, well.. You know what nevermi-" Rachel looked down and bit her lip, her usual habit. Her mind brought her back to the scene she saw last night. Ross and Bonnie. She couldn't live with that, and the bombshell she had to drop on Ross at the same time. She regained her courage. "Ross, we're-Im pregnant."
Ross stared at her for what seemed like forever "Pregnant" he said quietly.
Rachel continued "Im really sorry, I know I shouldn't have told you right now, right here...with Bonnie here, I just, the longer I waited..the harder it got" She looked into his eyes, searching for anything, something...a sign of life at this point was difficult to read. "I just dont know what to do" Rachel said quietly burying her head in her hands.
Ross snapped out of it and looked at Rachel below him on the swing, her golden hair shining in the moonlight. To say he was shocked was putting it lightly. A baby? They were having a baby. Their baby.
" Hey..." Ross said in a sweet voice, kneeling down to her level. He put his hand on her back and began to rub it, Rachels head still down. "Its okay, it*ll all be okay…" Ross said, trying to convince himself, as well as Rachel. He would panic later on, away from Rachel. He then thought for a moment.."..but Rach, you were drinking last night?"
She shook her head "No, not I wasn't, not really anyway. I made a virgin one, so no one would get suspicious. There wasn't any alcohol in it. Im so sorry" Rachel murmured. She didnt quite understand why she was saying it or why she felt this way, but she just felt awful.
"Sweetie, its not your fault, dont be sorry "He paused "How far along are you...do you know?"
Rachel put her hands down and looked up at him "9 weeks tomorrow, look Im sorry I didnt tell you, but I just found out about a week ago..."
"9 weeks okay..." He took a moment to think, to piece everything together, his eyes lit up. "That puts it right around our anniversary?"
Rachel nodded her head slowly "3 days before actually...it was actually the last time we, uh.."
Ross just nodded his head understanding. Something that baffled him was, had they known this then, it may have fixed everything. He couldn't help but think that he would have felt more secure in their relationship. For a moment he imagined they were still together, he would have been ecstatic, thrilled and screaming. He would want to tell the whole world that Rachel Green was having his baby.
Oddly enough, a part of him still felt that way.
It was Rachel.
"Does anyone else know?"
"Monica" she replied quietly "I had to tell her...I didnt know how I was going to tell you, you just got with Bonnie at the time..so I needed to think about it for a few days"
"Bonnie!" Ross exclaimed, for the last few minutes her had forgotten all about her.
Rachel held her breath until she found the nerve to speak "Ross, I want you to know, that um, just because of this...I would never expect you to leave Bonnie". She couldnt believe those words had left her mouth, but they had...she was putting him, and reality ahead of her own emotions. Still, instead she hoped that they wouldn't stay together.
Ross smirked "And I wouldn't if you told me…" he smiled " Or would I? ….but um, I actually think Im going to end things with Bonnie" He paused "I mean shes pretty amazing and great...but...I mean it would be really unfair for me to go around dating someone while youre carrying my child."
Rachel let out a smile and small sigh of relief. "Ross, Im just so scared, so so scared" Rachel shook her head "Im not ready to be a mom..I cant even take care of myself" Rachel exclaimed
"I know!" Ross chuckled "But we*ll get through this, its instinct. Im scared too" He finally admitted. "I mean, talk about bad timing, right? Everything will be okay though, I promise. Its you and me, we're going to make a great team"
It was 'you and me' as Ross had put it. That thought thrilled rather to her very core, but at the same time terrified her. Things could either go really well, or the two of them and their past would bring about self-destruction. Only time would tell.
"I don't even know how Im going to support a child" the financial aspect of the situation had just hit her.
"Hey, Ill be there too remember?" Ross reminded his ex girlfriend.
Rachel nodded her head "Im just, Im still really worried, Its going to be a struggle, babies as expensive…and Im going to have to take a lot of time off from work and…ughhhh Im going to get fat! " Rachel let out in a half joking around moan.
Ross smiled, even though she was down, it was still the same Rachel
"Yeah, but think of it this way" Ross began, placing his hand on top of hers "In just 7 months, we're having a baby, and they will love you, and you will love them more than anything else in this entire world. I know its scary now, but…rach, youre going to be a Mom"
Rachel gave him a weak smile, though in reality the thought of this was making her dizzy. "Im just still in shock" Rachel said weakly, before placing a hand over where, in a few months a bump would be. "Hey, go and be with Bonnie though" Rachel tried to put on a happy face "Im just going to sit out here and think of a while, before I get to sleep"
Ross looked puzzled "Rach, I just told you I was breaking up with her…" he began before Rachel cut him off
"Would you mind not doing it until we get home..I don't want to deal with anyone knowing, or any drama while we*re here" she paused "besides we only have a day or so left here…and then we could talk about it more…okay?"
Ross nodded as he stood up, and hugged a still seated Rachel, rubbing the back of her head. It was hard to explain what he was feeling right now, and there were still so many unanswered questions. One thing he knew was that he could never express his worry around Rachel…he remembered back to when he first mentioned having a baby with her less than a year ago…and how she freaked out, he could only imagine how worried and panicked she was right now. He wondered so many things. What did this mean for them? Could they get back together? How was Rachel going to handle being a mom…his mind was flooded.
Rachel watched the man that she still loved walk back into the house. She let out a huge sigh of relief.
As if on cue Monica walked out and took a seat next to her.
"Hey what are you still doing up?" Rachel questioned Monica, it must be at least 2 am by now.
"I had to get up and go to the bathroom…and then I saw Ross walk in, and so I figured you were out here" she explained
" So I told him" Rachel dove into it
Monicas eyes grew big "And?"
Rachel shook her head in disbelief "He was really really good about it…I think he feels a lot better about this than I do"
"Well sweetie, he does already have a kid" Monica reminded Rachel
"Yeah but…this is all so nuts. A few weeks ago we couldn't stand to be in the same room with one another" Rachel let out a slight disgusted laugh "you know Mon, I really wonder what this would be like if we were still together…"
"Well you could be!" Monica all but yelled, trying to convince her friend
Rachel shook her head "Mon, its not that simple." she stressed " Look, I love Ross..I love him with all of my heart…and more if that's even possible…but Im still not over what he did to me, and I don't know that I ever will be" she paused "And I cant just get back together with him now that we*re having this baby. I was just thinking, I bet we would be really happy…if we were still together, you know?"
Monica nodded her head, and looked at her friend concerned "You okay?"
"Oh, Yeah…Yes." Rachel lied. " I mean its fine this way too, you know? I just, I wonder if we would get married?" Rachel let out a small smile "You know, like I could see us waking up together in bed, on Sunday, reading the morning paper, with out little kid in between us…Ross telling them all about dinosaurs…and me trying to do some damage control so they didn't turn out to be a little weirdo" Rachel laughed, but then returned to her more upset state " I just never pictured it this way, you know?..I always figured that when I had a kid, I*d be older..early thirties…and married. I want the whole package"
Monica felt bad for her friend "I know honey" she paused "But you know, this is good too, I mean, its what you make of it, you know? It could be worse…you could have slept with Mark that night…and this could have been his child" Monica reminded her.
Rachel starred straight ahead in disbelief "And wouldn't that have been easier?"
Monica eyed her friend confused "What do you mean sweetie?"
"Because" Rachel began, she then turned to look her friend in the eyes "Because Monica, then I wouldn't have to live every day looking into this childs face and see Ross. Then I wouldn't have to be reminded of what we could have had, if things had just played out a little more perfect for us…then I wouldn't have to be reminded of him sleeping with that copy slut, and me calling that stupid break." Rachels eyes began to well with tears…but she wouldn't let them fall "I wouldn't have to be reminded of the man that I love, but the one who I couldn't have anymore, because of everything that happened"
Monica searched the expression on Rachel's face and could tell how much this was really hurting her. She had never thought of it like that. She, as if it was second nature wrapped her arms around Rachel, and began rubbing her head, as if she was comforting a small child. "Sweetie, its okay"
Rachel felt herself release as she let her head fall into Monica's shoulder. "Its just so hard" she whispered as tears began to fall from her eyes.
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