Hey I know it took a while but I don't rush it; I want it to be the best for everyone who reads it. Instead of thanking you, I'll promise to deliver every time and hope you enjoy it. Yes, Colin is back and will continue to appear but you'll have to read to find out how. In the meantime, love on and peace to the peaceful.

- Unbridled "Slowly but surely removing the shackles that anchor and limit the..." Mind

What she didn't know but was about to learn was; sitting down with your ex, regardless of how amicable the break up, was like chewing chalk. At first it seemed like a good idea, but then the taste set in and the coating stuck to your back teeth like the memory; hard to remove and even harder to swallow. She'd had this conversation in her mind to many times to remember, but like always, Colin never gave her the expected so preempting his movements was like predicting her visions, you could and would never be sure. That same lack of security in their relationship was the deal breaker and just thinking about it put her off the thought of restarting their relationship. However, it wasn't reason that joined them together in the first place and right now reason had been chased away by the chemistry that drew them both into each other, sexual tension running rife contained by their dry, serious surroundings.

"I've been thinking of you."

Really? Her facial expression read sans excitement or words.

"After I left, I had the strongest feeling I was wrong; because I was. I know that now."

Jess held the bare, unreadable expression, she knew it made his explanation harder and partially enjoyed that.

"I realised I didn't give you any choice in it and you deserved so much more than that. So much more of me. I want you to be happy."

Jess broke her silence. "I want the same for you."

"With me, Jess. I want you to be happy with me, that's why I hoped you were waiting."

"I am waiting. I'm waiting for someone I can build with, love and never give up on. I tried to forget how much you meant to me and how much loving you hurt me."

"I never set out to do that, you know me. And for the record; I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I can't commit to you with our lives like this."

"It's okay, I understand; and that's why we're not together anymore. Why did you hope I would wait?"

"So I could have another chance to say I still love you and…there's no one who makes me want to be a better man like you do."

"Wow. I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll think about it, us, what we could be."

"I will."

Nicole's knock and entrance cut off the conversation.

"Jess, we made a breakthrough, we need you. Hi Colin."

"Nicole. We'll finish up later, right?" He asked.

"Right." Nicole answered for Jess and pulled her away, eager for news. "What'd he say?"

"A lot of things." Jess replied evasively.

"One being the reconciliation of your romantic drama."

"I do not have drama."

"Have you forgotten the incident with Leo? And now you're thinking about getting back with Colin. Girl, you've got drama."

"Okay, so I have. Wait, how do you know he asked me?"

"How long have we been partners?"

"Speaking of that, what've you got?"

"NYPD located Dalvin St. John, dropped him and found that he has nothing to do with her disappearance."

"You're kidding."

"Get a load of this; he definitely has abandonment issues but isn't well connected enough to make this happen, and that's where his friend comes in; Danica Slange, 23, had a few arrests for credit fraud and befriended Dalvin a few months ago."

"Around the time he started getting payments from Valerie?"

"Exactly. She's the known girlfriend of Philip Dumont, a personal banker for Financsense Savings and Loans and guess whose account he manages?"

"Valerie's, but in that case he can access Dalvin's details by computer or through the form for the standing order. So we know who's behind this, Danica and Dumont."

"Slange and Dumont; slange meaning snake in Norweigan. She's the snake in your vision."

"She lured him into confiding in her about his mother to confirm who he was and now they want money, right?

"You got it. They want twenty thousand dollars, from Dalvin's pocket not Valerie's so the hustle can't be traced back to them, luckily they don't have the psychic edge we do."

"Very funny. Then where is Valerie?"

"You heard caution, like the signs on a construction site. I cross referenced that with think before you act and snakes. Act, like in a theatre and, snakes are deaf. As for the swallowed snake; I thought of gullibility and innocence; children. Drum roll please,"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Fine; at the corner of Green Street and Seesaw Avenue you'll find what used to be the National Children's Deaf Society Theatre. Cue applause."

"Then why did you wait?"

"Watching you squirm in your seat was worth it. That Colin still knows how to push your buttons; just try not to jump him in the office. You know; protocol."

One rescue, two arrests and a concluded case within twenty four hours gave both women a content dispostion for different reasons; Jess planned to stay in New York until the next morning to work things out and get the fresh start or healthy closure she needed to move on. Nicole speed-wrote her report from the end of the bust to the end of her flight back to D.C. wearing the ring she once saw as a suffocating noose. It was now a symbol of something old and something new merged together but better than before. And she was smiling. Smiling in anticipation of her return to a place that they had literally and figuratively built together. A place she would soon have to leave but at the same time was a part of her she would take on every journey from now on. A place that was, was nothing but, and felt like; home.

Homecoming brought on a sweet feeling as her personal life resumed and work life paused with the opening of the door. The two worlds often overlapped, but not inside; they didn't talk about the bureau and its duty after they left the office. It was here that they had laid the foundations of their new relationship as though every other time was a trial and error they had used to learn how to make it better. Seeing him in her home didn't grate like it would have before, in fact he was written on every wall, with a presence that stayed on even when he didn't. And she loved it. She loved having someone to talk to, who didn't leave unless you asked them to and still talked their way back in, who understood all that he could of her and let her love him in her own unconventional way. She would never be a Stepford wife or the consummate mother but that didn't devalue what she felt for him or make it any less legitimate. It was as though together they were rewriting love for every couple who doesn't dream the traditional and strive to emulate it, everyone who dares to love as they are, not as they're told to be; only changing to give, not lose, more of themselves to someone who processed their love as it was and didn't shape it.

"Your mom called." His voice carried from the kitchen as he stood with one hand over the phone receiver, while she hung her blazer next to his. She presumed he was having the same argument with the delivery company he had a few days before, and a few days before that. It made her remember that she only had three weeks to the wedding and less than six to leave this house, and what it represented, and that repressed fact induced an anxiety she didn't want to feel. The same anxiety that sided with everyone else that this was too soon, too huge and…irreversible, like Jess said.

Shake it off Scott, since when has anything ever been easy?

But it's hard.

You lived hard, what's new?

Yeah…what is new?

Ignoring her inner conflict, she took the phone from his hand, hung up and kissed him.

"Forget it, we'll do it ourselves if we have to."

"You, driving a truck for six hours? I can't see that happening."

"I guess you're right. So what did she say?"

"Dinner on Sunday."

"Great." She replied with a twinge of sarcasm.

"Why are you angry at her?"

"It's not her. It's her actions that piss me off."

"Like?"

"Like thinking Sunday dinners will turn us into the Josephs when there's not enough soul food in the world to do that. She's not being honest with me."

"Are you with her?"

"Yes. I don't expect anything from her but she's using me as some mothering crash course to purge her guilt. Forget my job or my friends or even this house, she wants me to stay for her because I can't leave, only she can."

"You don't know that for sure. She'll miss you like she always has."

"It's the same guilt trip she pulled on me before."

"When you were thirteen and she had a habit, and you felt responsible for that. And for her, because you tried to take care of her but you couldn't. That made you feel inadequate; that you weren't enough reason for her to stop and you couldn't depend on her. So now she wants you to need her or her approval and you can't so the least you could do is stay. Is that what you want, to stay?"

"With you; yes. Here? I don't know."

"Will you marry me?"

"Haven't we already done that part?"

"I mean it, will you? I don't want you to have any doubts about it."

"About it; no. Surrounding it? Sort of."

"What about you?"

"I'm just tying up some emotional loose ends. I'll get there. Like I said, of course I'll marry you."

"In the dress you haven't found yet, she told me."

"Let me worry about that. Besides, how's your mom dealing with our big, fat, secular wedding?"

"Better than before, she hasn't said equally yoked since we took the FOCCUS test. Now it's why don't you want to have children?"

"You meaning me. Like I told her,"

"You don't trust yourself as a mother even though everyone, including me, knows you'd be great and, you're scared you'll become someone you're not or don't want to be."

"You said you wouldn't hold that against me."

"I don't. I wish you'd believe the opposite but I can't force your hand, you have to want it for you before you can with me.

"I love you."

"You love her too, so work it out before we go. Please."

"I'll try."

"No!" Colin exclaimed in response to Nicole and Antonio's engagement.

"Believe it. Shock was my reaction when she told me."

"So they live together?"

"Yep, her place."

"So there is an alternate universe?"

"Apparently."

"I guess they finally figured it out. Is that what you wanted from me, horse and carriage?"

"No but I didn't get a chance to find out if I could have."

"Say, hypothetically; I'm the one you're waiting for. Where do we stand?"

"If it's you, I hope one day it'll happen for us."

"And if it's not?"

"Then you set the bar really really high, Colin. And I thank you for that. We made our choices, and we should have people in our lives we can make choices with not around."

"What are you saying?"

"Even if I wanted to be with you. I know I'll have to wait a lifetime for that to happen."

"So you'd rather opt out completely, not even try?"

"You broke up with me. Don't forget that."

"I can't; that's why we're here. Do you still love me?"

"Not the way I used to. The truth is I'll always love you and remember how you changed my life but right now… we can't."

"Because you've found someone else?"

"He's not the reason."

"Do you know what it did to me, to have to leave you?"

"You ever thought of what it did to me?"

"Are you happy with him?"

"He's great, he really is."

"You didn't say yes."

"How can I answer that when I'm here with you, knowing I haven't let him in? He deserves a chance with me and I don't want to end it prematurely; look at us."

"I can't change the past and I don't know how to make you understand that you're the one. The only one worth giving this up for."

"I'm honoured to hear that, to know that, and I don't blame you for anything. But for now, I guess I'm free."

That night Nicole was caught in warm kisses, symbols of intimacy that held her in the moment and held her closer to him. As if time could prolong these moments and they could live in this ecstatic refuge where her fingers crept along his back, pausing to rest then resuming their dance of reassurance, and their bodies found a way to get rid of space creating a pleasurable proximity. Neither wanted to be alone, both wanted to be needed and having sex and making love at the same time gave a more moving way to express it. Where pretence was lost and guards were down their truth emerged; she would always be his weakness and he had strength enough to break through her defences. Their love left etchings all over them, covered them in peace for a while and put them both to a satisfied sleep.

Meanwhile Jess took the jet and found herself still awake at home after three. Writing up her report she tried not to think about what she had just done, but it was a issue she couldn't avoid fixating over. Was she just afraid of loving Colin again because love transfers power and she'd at risk of being hurt again? Did she feel she could grow to love Leo and benefit from the qualities she'd seen and those she was sure laid underneath? Finishing her report without the peace to sleep, she stayed up restlessly pondering; not knowing whether she had made the right decision and wishing for clarity.