3. Gaydar Detector


"Jane, where are we?" asked the socially retarded genius, although judging by the dimply smile plastered on her face, she knew exactly where they were.

"Oh, dear sweet Maura. The better question is: where aren't we?" Jane winked.

She put the car into park and got out, rushing around to open Maura's door for her. She'd always wanted to do that, but girls were always so quick to get out of the damn car. Maura smiled and allowed the chivalrous gesture, though she was still confused.

"I don't follow."

Jane shut Maura's door.

"Then you'd better start following me. Consider me your yellow brick road."

"Stop teasing me."

"Last one, I promise."

They headed towards the entrance, hand-in-hand, obviously.

"Aren't you glad I had a spare pair of shoes in the car?"

Maura glanced down at her feet but didn't get a chance to answer that, luckily.

"Janie?"

Jane stopped dead in her tracks. That voice sounded awfully familiar. She turned around, only to have her suspicions confirmed.

Busted.

"Frankie?" she asked, rhetorically. "What are you doing here? I thought you were at a Comic Club meeting."

"I, uh…" Frankie started, scratching the back of his neck. "I thought you were helping out at the homeless shelter."

Jane rolled her eyes at that. He was deflecting, she knew. Scratching his neck is his tell.

"C'mon, Frankie. I don't think even Ma fell for that one."

The Rizzoli siblings snickered as if at an inside joke. Maura and Frankie's companion looked on in amazement at how similar the two Italians' demeanors were. Not to mention the way they were dressed and their brooding good looks.

"Yeah, I think that was your worst attempt yet. At least Comic Club is believable."

Maura then remembered Jane mentioning her brother's obsession with 'graphic novels' and how she always made fun of him, even though she secretly liked them too.

"Yeah, well, unless the meetings moved to here… whatcha doin' here, lil bro?" Jane fished with a suspicious glint, looking back and forth between Frankie and whoever his friend was.

"I, uh…" Frankie seemed a little nervous, but he couldn't lie to Jane. They were really close and he knew she'd be cool about it. Dark brown locked on dark brown. "I'm on a date."

Jane's eyebrow quirked and she nodded in understanding. Ma Rizzoli had a knack for meddling in her kids' lives, so certain things required a little remixing of the truth.

"Me too." The siblings shared a smirk. "This is Maura. Maura, this is my younger brother, Frankie," she introduced them.

"Nice to meet you." Frankie firmly shook Maura's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Frankie. I've heard quite a bit about you," Maura informed, eliciting an eyebrow quirk from Frankie in Jane's direction.

Then Frankie did his own little introductions.

"This is my date… Barry. That's Janie, my big sis," he said pointing to his sister, knowing very well how she felt about that nickname.

"You gotta stop calling me that, Frank. Good to meet you, Barry," Jane said as she shook the other boy's hand. "Good luck with my brother though, he's a total spaz."

Barry and Jane shared a knowing smile.

"Call me Frost. And I'm sure I can handle him," he answered.

The Rizzoli's exchanged an amused look before leading the way to the ticket stand with their dates in tow.

"So, wanna make it a group thing?" Frankie suggested.

"Why not?" Jane answered.

"Right on."

"Really? What is this, That 70s Show?" Jane quipped. They all laughed; even Maura who got the joke by accident, never having seen the show before.

"Don't pretend you didn't used to watch it." Frankie playfully shoved Jane.

"Only because of Mila Kunis." D'oh, thought Jane.

Frankie rolled his eyes, "Typical."

As they were getting tickets, the Rizzoli's got into a bit of a verbal scuffle of sorts with their respective dates over who would pay. "Cause I'm the guy," they both reasoned in a tone that left no room for argument. As ridiculous as it sounded to them, Maura and Frost decided to leave well enough alone and get back at them later.

"So, you ever been to an amusement park before, Maur?"

"No. This is my first time."

Jane wasn't really expecting her to say that, it was pretty rhetorical, but at the same time she wasn't surprised. Frankie and Frost most certainly were, judging by their incredulous stares.

"Really?" they both asked in unison.

"Well, yes. I usually frequented history museums and art galleries with my parents as a child. Did you know that the first themed amusement park was opened in the year 1582 in Denmark? It wasn't until 1895 that the first permanent amusement park in North America was opened, which is the Sea Lion Park at Coney Island in Brooklyn," Maura shared with the class.

"Wow, so it took you only… 117 years to finally go to one?"

Maura was learning not to entertain some of Jane's more sarcastic statements. There was just no winning.

"Says the girl who wouldn't come here for a whole year after watching Final Destination 3," Frankie helpfully supplied.

Frost answered to Maura's lost look.

"Final Destination is a popular series of movies, basically about weird ways a bunch of people die. FD3 had this massacre on a roller-coaster in the beginning."

"Well, to be fair, although the risk of injury is incredibly low, on average, 4 deaths on average occur per year on roller-coaster rides in the US of A."

"Exactly! Thanks, babe," Jane praised with a peck to Maura's cheek, causing the brainy brunette to blush. "But at least I'm not afraid of clowns…"

"Ay! Low blow. Could we just pick a ride already?" came the annoyed retort.

"Maur, since this is your first rodeo, we'll let you pick the first few rides and stuff."

"Oh! I wouldn't know where to begin."

Maura looked around, index finger tapping her pursed lips, calculating the risk to reward ratio of every activity in sight. The other three were patient for all of eleven seconds before sharing a look and saying in unison, "Bumper cars!"

"Good choice, Maur." And off they went.

On their way to the car rides, they encountered a crowd gathered around one of the activities, obstructing their path. According to some passersby, some girl was showing off and winning prize after prize at the shooting range. Upon hearing this, the Rizzoli's ears perked right on up.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" asked Frankie.

"Oh yeah," answered Jane, pulling up the sleeves of her plaid shirt. "Let's give 'em a real gun show."

They swaggered over to the counter to find a bored guy with a jewfro working the stand.

"We want in," said Frankie, laying down some tickets.

The park employee just took them and handed him two toy guns to start the game. "Each gun's got 10 shots. Use 'em wisely, and good luck," he said with a faint leer before going back to reading his dirty magazine.

The girl who had garnered such a big crowd in the first place fired off her last shot and the people went ape-shit. Another girl carrying a bunch of large teddy bears gratefully pecked her lips and handed her a soda to sip on as they made to leave, but Jane Rizzoli's voice stopped them dead in their tracks.

"Not so fast there. What's say we make this interesting, eh?" she said with a cocky grin, one hand in her denim pocket while the other received a toy gun from her brother.

The thirsty girl turned around with a shit-eating grin on her face.

"Whataya got in mind?" she asked.

Jane and Frankie shared a brief look.

"Winner takes all," said Frankie, motioning with his head to the stuffed goods in their potential opponent's possession.

"And what do I get when you lose?" came the immediate reply. Clearly cockiness was in the air.

"Calm down, Cooper. You know there's no way that's happening."

Riley rolled her eyes and said, "Still got a Texas-sized ego, Rizzoli?"

"Well, y'know what they say about big egos…" smirked Jane.

"Actually, I don't wanna know. Next round of chilli cheese fries is on you after I kick your butts."

"You always were a big dreamer. But y'know what they say about big dreams…"

"Any room for one more?" interjected Frost.

The three gunners glanced at Frost then at the jewfro guy. Only receiving a pointed look, Frankie fished out more tickets and got another toy gun in return.

"Here. Don't hurt yourself," said the Boston-Italian boy with a wink as he handed it over.

Frost grabbed his gun and thought to himself, let's see who's actually 'the guy' in this relationship.

Meanwhile…

"Suzie Chang?"

"Oh my Gosh! Maura Isles? Wait, you remember me?"

"Of course. You were always my toughest competition. How are you?"

"I'm good-"

"Wait, you two know each other?" Jane interrupted.

"Yeah. We competed against each other at the National Young Scientists Expo from 2004-2010," said Riley Cooper's companion.

"Lemme guess, Maura won?" Jane concluded, making the over-achiever blush once again. "Don't be shy. Look at me. I'm about to kick Cooper's caboose right here in front of everyone cause I know I'm awesome at this. If you got it, flaunt it, babe. Now watch this."

The crowd was abuzz with excited chatter as Riley, Jane, Frankie and Frost got lined up against the counter, assuming their shooting stances.

"Whoever gets the most hits wins."

They cocked their guns and aimed for their targets.

"Could someone count us down?"

"On your marks…" the whole audience said in unison, "get set…" then an over-excited kid with cotton candy in his hair shouted "Go!"


Later that same day…

"Phew, I'm stuffed," said Frankie, throwing a used napkin on the table.

"Careful there, bubble boy. How you gonna fit in your baseball gear if you keep stuffin' yourself like a Thanksgiving turkey?" Jane chuckled at her brother.

"I'll just borrow yours then," he retorted, earning him a swift kick in the shin. Everyone else laughed at them.

"Rizzoli, thanks for the meal, but me and Suze gotta get goin' so long," Riley announced after wiping her face and fingers of chilli sauce.

"Any time, Coop. Thanks for the trade-off." She bumped Riley's fist. "And it was nice meeting you, Suzie."

"Likewise," replied the Science fair runner-up, "And good seeing you, Maura."

"Yes, good indeed. Good-bye, Suzie and it was a pleasure meeting you, Riley."

The departing girls waved good-bye to everyone and headed out of the café.

"So, where'd you learn to shoot like that there, Frost?" Jane asked the co-champion of the shoot-out. He and Riley beat Jane by one target and Frankie by three. They decided to meet in the middle of their little wager with Jane buying lunch and Riley letting go of any teddy bear of Maura's choice. Then they all played a bunch of other stuff.

"My Dad's a marine. He'd take me to the range sometimes."

"Cool." said Jane, impressed.

"What about you? You're pretty good yourself."

"I know, right?" concurred Jane in a fake Valley Girl accent, which they all found quite funny. "Nah, I'm just kidding. But I've been going to the shooting range every Friday after school for a month now. I'm enrolling in the Police Academy soon, so I figured I'd get a head start on the bad-assery."

"You wanna be a cop?" asked Frost, impressed more than shocked.

"Oh yeah. A detective eventually, homicide."

"I dunno if I've got the stomach for that. My Dad wants me to join the Navy, but, behind all these muscles," he flexed, "I'm really just a computer nerd at heart." Frost sounded a little frustrated with his revelation.

"Then do what you're good at. But more importantly, what you love." Frankie said, patting him on his thigh.

"Yeah, I guess. I guess we'll see."

"Computer intelligence personnel have often proved vital in any modern Police Department's resources for crushing many cases. Perhaps you'll consider a career in that path?" offered Maura.

"It's crack, not crush, Maur. But that's a good point."

Bzzz. Bzzz.

"Oh no." Jane sighed as she picked up her ringing mobile phone.

"Really? The Jaws theme song? Who is that, Ma?"

She held up her index finger in Frankie's direction as she answered.

"Hey Ma… I'm fine, Ma… Yes, I ate. I'm in a café right now… We, uhm, the shelter let us go early…"

Frankie laughed at her for that one.

"…Frankie?" she asked a little too perkily.

His eyes bulged out and he shook his head vigorously to show he did not wish to talk to his mother.

"Have I seen him? I, uh, yeah. I think I may have seen him on the Big Bang Theory…"

Frost chuckled as Frankie sighed in relief, mouthing 'I owe you' to his big sis.

"I'm not being a smart-ass… Then why don't you-… You've got his number, right?…" then there was a long pause as the Rizzoli matriarch's voice droned on for a full 8 minutes on the other end of the line. Jane even got to finish her fries, Maura's fries and ask for the bill in the mean-time. Then suddenly, "You did what?!"

"Uh-oh." said Frankie, knowing all too well that their meddling mother had done it again.

"Y'know what, I gotta hang up. I'll talk to you later, Ma. Bye." Jane cut the call and almost slammed her phone on the counter.

After a long moment of silently stewing in anger, Jane said "Guess who's joining us for Sunday dinner tomorrow?"

"You look upset…"

"Ya think?"

"…so, I'm assuming it's-"

"Joey-fucking!-Grant, Frankie." Jane slammed her fist down to punctuate the curse word.

"Jane, language."

"Sorry."

Ignoring that weird little exchange, Frank mumbled, "Does she never learn?" rolling his eyes at his mother and feeling bad that Jane gets all the flack but grateful that it isn't him.

"Apparently not," Jane muttered back as she paid the bill.

"Then you might wanna stay away from the cutlery at the table. That guy annoys the snot out of me too."

"I think I'm gonna go. You done, Maur?"

Maura dabbed a napkin gracefully over her lips, nodding.

"Later, guys." Jane scooted out of the booth then waited for Maura.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, gentlemen."

"You too, Maura," said Frost with a smile.

"Yeah, enjoy Jane's temper tantrum," remarked the other boy, earning him a glare from his sister. Maura just smiled politely and let Jane guide her outside with a firm hand at the small of her back.

Safely out of earshot, Frankie turned to Frost.

"I'm pretty sure she was wearing Jane's shoes just now."

"Sharing clothes already?"

"Ten bucks says there's a U-Haul waiting outside right now."

"You're on."

"Not yet, but maybe we can fix that." Frankie replied suggestively. You can lead a Rizzoli out of the gutter, but…

Frost smirked as they both leaned in to each other, then he stopped.

"Only if you admit we're both the guy," he whispered.

Frankie rolled his eyes then relented, "Fine. We're both the guy," he said before their lips met in a hot PDA.


A little later on the other side of town, a preoccupied Jane parked her car near the driveway outside the Isles estate. Her thoughts were consumed with how her Ma always had a gift for rubbing her the wrong way, even with the best of intentions, but this took the cake. Inviting a boy she knows Jane can't stand into their home for dinner, and most likely another set-up. If only there was a way to get her to back off for once and for all.

"Are you okay, Jane?" asked Maura, breaking the other girl out of her reverie with a soft hand on her forearm.

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just, uh, dreading tomorrow's-"

Light bulb.

"Maura, would you like to join me and my-" she cleared her throat, "I mean my family and I for dinner tomorrow night? It's nothing fancy really. Just food, alotta food, and my Ma and Frankie and Tommy'll be there. Well, Joey Grant too, but feel free to ignore him."

"You want me to meet your family?"

"You already met Frankie so… one down, two to go, y'know? No big deal…" she paused to ponder her phrasing. "Unless it is a big deal, then you don't have-"

"I want to," Maura quickly let known. "I mean, it is a big deal to me, but it doesn't have to mean anything if you-"

"No! Yes. I mean, no as in…" frustrated sigh. "Okay wait, let's try this again." Jane exited the driver's side and rushed round to open Maura's door once again. She took Maura's hands, a deep breath and then looked into her eyes sincerely. Then she pecked Maura's cheek for an extra confidence boost. It worked.

"Maura, I know we've only been on two dates, and if you feel like I'm comin' on too strong just say so, but here's the deal. I'm not much of a talker, about feelings and sh-tuff, but here goes anyway. I'm glad you met my brother and some of my friends and we all got to hang out and all. They like you, I can tell, but mostly I just want everyone to know what an awesome person you are. So I'd like you to meet the rest of the Rizzoli clan, and hell, even Grant. But I'd also like you to go as my, uh, my girlfriend. Officially. Whataya say?"

Maura bit her bottom lip to try and tame the thousand-watt smile threatening to consume her blushing face. She looked down at their linked fingers then off to the side and back down again, all while Jane tried to meet her gaze so she could read her expression.

"I'll think about it," Maura finally said, deciding to make Jane sweat… for all of one second.

"You'll-"

"I thought about it. My answer's yes."

Maura grabbed the collar of Jane's shirt and pulled her girlfriend down into a passionate, yet sweet, kiss. When the magnitude of the moment finally caught up with her, Jane placed her hands on Maura's waist, gently pressing her against the car, and deepened the lip-lock to convey everything she was feeling to her girlfriend. Joy, surprise, relief and, as they went on, arousal. Eventually coming up for air, they wore matching dimpled smiles. They kissed again, but this time slower and more sensually with Maura's arms wrapping around Jane's neck.

"Mm…" sighed Maura when they ultimately rested their foreheads against each other, "Is this how you kiss when you're a kept woman? Because I'm rather enjoying it, I must say."

Jane's deep chuckle reverberated through their connected bodies.

"This is how I kiss to apologize in advance for anything that can and will happen tomorrow… but now that you're my girlfriend-"

"As you are mine…" reminded the honey-brunette with a pointed look.

"-I guess I don't need an excuse to kiss you like that now, do I?"

Before Maura could answer, her lips were already a little busy. Her last clear thought was, 'Wow, my girlfriend's a really great kisser'.


A/N: Rizzles, Frostie & Chooper all in the same place. What more could you ask for? What, another chapter? Okie-dokie then. Review if you want to.