December 15 had us driving back to Ohio to see my mother for Christmas break. Vriska was driving, and I was doing my best not to throw up or throw myself out of the speeding vehicle. I hadn't exactly told my mother that I was dating Vriska yet, considering that it was more of a face to face type conversation, and the prospect of coming out to my mother was scaring my to death. My mother did seem excited to see Vriska again, who had become almost a second daughter to her with all the time she had spent at my house, and I hoped that that affection would turn into acceptance.
Honestly though, I didn't even know how my mom felt about gays and lesbians. It never came up in conversation when I was home, and I had never asked her about her views.
"You okay Fussyfangs?" Vriska's voice cut through my musings, causing me to turn towards her.
"Of course. Why?" My response was quick, but sounded forced even to me.
"Well, if you keep scratching Alice there she's gonna have a bald spot." Vriska chuckled, glancing at the protesting kitty before focusing on the road again.
"What?" I looked down to see little Alice batting at my hand. "Oh, sorry Ali-cat." I stopped petting her, and she settled back onto my lap, trying to nap.
"Really Kanaya, it'll be okay. You'll see. She's your mom, and you two were always so close. Sure, it might be a shock, but she'll get over it." Vriska tried to reassure me, but it did nothing to untie the knots in my stomach.
"You're probably right, but it doesn't help the nerves at all. I never even dreamed that I would have to do something like this."
"First time for everything. At least I don't have to worry about telling any parents." Vriska said with a humorless laugh. Not knowing quite how to respond to that, I reached over and gave her shoulder a small squeeze. She covered my hand with her metal one, giving me a small squeeze back.
With that I settled back into staring out the window, worry gripping me once more. Only two hours to go, oh joy…
"Kanaya!" As soon as the door was opened my mother enveloped me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Hi Momma." I laughed slightly at her enthusiasm and returned the hug.
"I've missed you." She pulled back, then finally noticed Vriska standing behind me. I stepped aside and she pulled Vriska into a hug. "Vriska, it's so nice to see you again."
"It's nice to see you again too Mrs. Maryam." Vriska chuckled, tentatively returning the hug.
"Please, Mary is fine! Let me take a look at you." My mom pulled back, placing her hands on Vriska's shoulders. "Oh dear, what happened to you're arm?" My mom asked with a concerned look on her face.
"Momma, we can talk about that, but can we come inside? It's a little colder here than it was in South Carolina." I pointed out, starting to shiver slightly. Long sleeves would have been a good idea today.
"Of course. Sorry, sometimes I forget that the south had softened you up." She laughed, motioning for us to come inside.
"I'm gonna grab Alice real fast." Vriska told me with a small squeeze on my arm.
"Who's Alice?" My mom asked as we went into the house.
"Oh, I kind of adopted a cat." I said with a small guilty smile.
"That's wonderful! I always worry about you all alone in that big apartment of yours."
"Right…" I really didn't know how to respond, considering I wasn't really alone in the apartment anymore, but I wasn't going into that until the "little talk" we were going to have tomorrow.
"Kan! She's all wiggly, make her stop!" Vriska walked into the living room, holding out our little kitten, who was doing everything in her power to wiggle out of the blonde's hands.
"Like I can control her." Rolling my eyes, I got up and grabbed the hyper beast. Surprisingly, as soon as I had her against my chest she settled down.
"Aww, she's adorable, and she seems to have taken to you so well." My mom walked up to me to scratch the tiny cat under her chin, causing her to purr like crazy. "But you do have to keep her locked up in your room, I don't want her destroying my house. I've learned my lesson with pets, the more adorable they are, the more destruction they wreak."
"Of course." I giggled, which was promptly interrupted by a yawn from Vriska. "And, if you don't mind, we're gonna head to bed. It was a long drive home."
"Alright, we can talk tomorrow then. Love you Kanny." She gave me a hug, then turned and walked away.
"Kanny?" Vriska asked, clearly holding back a laugh.
"Don't even go there. Honestly, I prefer Fussyfangs." I grumbled, going to grab the bags by the door.
"Fussyfangs it is then!" Vriska declared, grabbing her own bag, laughing all the way to the bedroom.
"Kanaya, time to wake up."
"No…" I grumbled back to the voice whispering in my ear, snuggling closer to the pillow I was sleeping on. That is, until the pillow started shaking violently.
"Kan, unless you want your mother to walk in on you snuggling the fuck outta me, you might wanna let go." The pillow rumbled in time with the voice trying to wake me up.
"What?"
"You are really slow in the mornings, you know that, right?" I cracked my eyes open and realized that my "pillow" was Vriska's stomach, explaining why it kept shaking.
"Oh, whoops…" Releasing her, I slowly sat up, scooting over a little bit.
"Hey, normally I wouldn't complain." She grinned, throwing the covers off of herself and stood up. "You're mom knocked on the door and said lunch would be ready in ten minutes."
"What time is it?" Her statement made me pause and search for a clock, which I didn't seem to have anywhere in my room.
"Almost noon." She informed me as she walked to the door.
"Great… I hate sleeping this late, it messes me up all day."
"You also hate waking up early." She threw over her shoulder as she went to the bathroom to get ready. With a sigh I got out of the bed, changing quickly and headed down the stairs to the kitchen. Once I stepped into the kitchen I was greeted with the sight of my mother making grilled cheese on the stove.
"'Morning. Your lunch is on the table." My mother turned to greet me, motioning to the table.
"Thanks." Sitting down, I began eating the sandwich, and was joined by Vriska a few moments later.
"Kan, calm down." Vriska whispered to me, putting a hand on the knee that I had no idea that I was bouncing up and down like crazy. "It's gonna be okay."
"So how was the semester?" My mom sat down across from us, opening up conversation.
"Difficult, but I think I managed to do well." I answered, my nerves not really letting me elaborate.
"That's good. And what about you Vriska? What have you been up to lately, and what exactly happened to you?" Thankfully she turned her attention to Vriska, not wanting more of an explanation.
With a deep breath Vriska dove into the story of her life for the past half a year, my mother gasping and asking frequent questions. Vriska told her everything, minus the part where we became a couple, making the entire story take around 10 minutes with all the elaborations added in.
"Sweetheart, that's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"Yeah, but I was lucky Kanaya was willing to help me out." Vriska said with a beaming smile in my direction, causing my cheeks to flush.
"She is an amazing young lady, isn't she?" My mother boasted.
"You did raise me very well Momma." I mumbled, still blushing.
"That I did." She laughed. "So Vriska, what are your plans for the future? Are you going to go back to Charleston, or are you going to stay in Columbia, close to Kanny?"
"I don't plan on leaving your daughter any time soon." Vriska told her.
"Oh, that's nice. It's good to see you two become so close again. I remember how distraught Kanaya was when you left after high school." She practically cooed, and I figured it was a good of time as any.
"About that Momma, I, well we, have something that we want to talk to you about." I mentally kicked myself for how awkward and nervous I sounded.
"Talk about what?" She looked slightly concerned, clearly picking up on my fear.
"Well, while Vriska has been in Columbia with me, we've realized that we really care about one another."
"Alright, and why does that need to be a conversation? You two obviously take care of each other. It's great that you both have a friend like that." My mom looked very confused now.
"No Momma, we care about each other as more than friends." I managed to get out.
"What?" Now she looked concerned and confused all at the same time.
"Momma, Vriska's my girlfriend." I told her, bracing myself for whatever came next.
"No." However, I wasn't really expecting that reaction, and had no idea how to react.
"What?" Vriska was the one that spoke up, clearly just as confused as me.
"I don't… I can't accept that. Kanaya, you're not a lesbian. You're not like that." My mother looked horrified, breaking my heart with every word.
"Momma, I don't know what I am, but I do know that I love Vriska. You can't accept that I'm in love?" I asked, trying my best not to cry.
"You can't really believe that you love her! It's not natural!" Her harsh exclamation tore into me, pushing me so close to tears.
"Mrs. Maryam-" Vriska tried to cut in, but my mother stopped her with a glare and a pointed finger.
"This is your fault. Ever since she was a little girl Kanaya has been taking care of you since you couldn't do it yourself! First you made her move ridiculously far away and now you've somehow caused her to believe that she loves you!"
"No! None of this is Vriska's fault." Now I was standing up to match my mother. "I moved closer to her because underneath it all, I've always loved her! I'm sorry that you can't accept it, but she makes me happy! And there is nothing unnatural about being happy with the person you love!"
"You really believe that?" My mother asked, her voice much quieter, the fight seeming to leave her.
"Yes Momma."
"Then I can't do anything to change your mind. Maybe I'm a bit stuck in the past. I know the world's changing, and that situations like yours are more accepted now. Maybe I'm not giving you a chance." She started speaking, more to herself than anything.
"Can you try?" I pleaded.
"I want you to leave." The statement came out barely above a whisper.
"What?"
"You two need to leave. Like I said, I can't accept your relationship. Maybe with time, but not now. Now, I can't look at her," she pointed to Vriska, "without wanting to strangle her. And I can't look at you without wanting to break down in tears. I'll continue to pay for your school, but after that… I just don't know." Her voice was so steady and so unfeeling. It made me wish she had yelled or cried instead.
"Momma… If that's what you really want." She nodded, and I hung my head, I couldn't find it in myself to fight her. I wasn't going to change her mind by yelling, and she was beyond reason at this point. "Alright. We'll leave." I got up and headed to the bedroom, Vriska trailing closely behind.
As soon as I entered the room Alice trotted up to me, looking up at me with big green eyes. With a small sad smile I picked her up, hugging her close to me. Vriska came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.
"I'm so sorry." She murmured in my ear.
"It's not your fault. Let's just get going." I assured her, stepping out of her arms and gathering our things.
Once all of our things were packed we headed to the car, not seeing my mother on the way out. We silently packed up the car, and once all that was done I took one last look at my childhood home, not sure when I'd see it again.
"Do you want to get a hotel and go home tomorrow?" Vriska asked from the passenger seat.
"No. Let's just go home." With one final look at the house, I started the car and drove away.
