Chapter Three: Memories

Warning: This chapter contains a description of self-harm

The worst thing about the nameless, destroyed village was the smell. It smelled of smoke, of death, destruction. It smelled the same way it had at the Fall of Beacon, and Pyrrha knew that screams had filled this place just like they once filled the city of Vale.

And it smelled like the village where Amber had been born as it had burned to the ground. Pyrrha could feel the older woman's fear clawing at the inside of her skull, vivid memories that weren't her own flooding her mind and making it that much harder to breathe.

Pyrrha walked quickly, keeping her head high and her face blank until she was sure the others couldn't see her. Behind the cover of a building she let her knees buckle as she slid to the ground, taking ragged, gasping breaths.

"You need to get yourself under control. You're like a homing beacon for the Grimm right now."

Amber's voice was grating.

"I am trying." Pyrrha muttered through gritted teeth. "And you aren't exactly helping."

"I have my own past, yes. But I, unlike you, came to terms with it long ago."

"Then why do I feel your fear?"

"The only fear you are feeling is your own." Amber's words were sharp and defensive, not quite hiding the lie that Pyrrha knew she was telling. "Just try to calm down before you get us all killed."

Pyrrha dug her nails into her arms, dragging them along the sensitive skin. The sharp pain helped her focus, and for a moment her panic subsided.

That was when she heard it, the footfalls too heavy to be anything other than a pack of Grimm coming towards her. She rose to her feet just in time to see three Ursa charging out of the nearby trees, and barely had time to retrieve her sword before they were upon her in a mass of claws and teeth and soulless hunger.

Though Pyrrha herself may have been paralyzed by fear, the part of her that was Amber was itching for a fight. She let that part take over, lashing out at the first ursa and driving it back, hitting the ground to avoid the second one as it lunged at her. Following her instincts and adrenaline she drove her sword up into its exposed underbelly as it passed over her, it was dead before it hit the ground.

Pyrrha got to her feet only to be sent flying by a swipe of a massive claw. She hit the ground hard, forcing the air out of her lungs. She pulled herself upright, gasping for breath. Movement at the top of her vision alerted her just in time and she brought up her sword-which mercifully, she had managed to hold onto when she fell- to block a follow-up strike.

Oum, she missed having a shield to protect herself, let alone a gun. Arms shaking with the effort she shoved the ursa in front of her back before whirling around and delivering a slash to the face of the one that had tried to sneak up behind her. Angling her sword downwards she drove the blade into the soft spot behind the monster's skull and it died with a roar of pain, leaving only one for her to contend with.

Before she could turn and face the remaining Grimm she felt somethin drive into her back, shoving her into the hard ground and sending her sword clattering away from her. She reached out for it, struggling against the weight of the ursa's paw that kept her pinned down. She felt its breath against her cheek and cold, blind panic set in as she realized that she was seconds from death, from returning to that dark, empty place-

"Use your semblance, you idiot!" Amber's voice snapped her out of her head and Pyrrha did as she was told, attracting her sword to her and managing to flip herself over so that she could aim her sword at the ursa's neck.

The blade found its mark and the beast's head fell away, the rest of its body collapsing on top of Pyrrha. Pyrrha lay there for a moment, too tired to crawl out from under its weight, the past few nights of no sleep having taken their toll on her.

"What was that?" Amber berated her inside her head. "I've watched you fight. You don't earn the name 'The Invincible Girl' by fighting like an untrained child. Or forgetting to use your Oum damned semblance!"

Pyrrha felt her face go red with shame. She had no defense for herself, so she simply said, "That was before."

Amber hadn't finished. "Besides, we could have gotten rid of those things without even lifting a finger if you would just-"

"No." Pyrrha cut her off,. "I told you, I will not use your powers."

"They aren't mine anymore," Amber replied bitterly. " Can teach you how to control them if you would just-"

"Amber, I said no." Pyrrha pushed herself upright. The others would be looking for her soon and she wasn't going to let them find her like this. She had seen Jaune's face when he told her things would be okay-he needed her to be okay.

So as far as he and the rest of her team were concerned, she would be.

"Pyrrha!" Pyrrha's head snapped around at the sound of Jaune calling to her. "Where are y-" He halted as he came around the corner of the building and took in the fallen Grimm. "Holy shit, Pyrrha what happened?"

Pyrrha shrugged, holding her hands behind her back to hide that they were shaking. "Just a couple of Ursa."

"You should have called for help, you could have been hurt-"

"Jaune." Pyrrha held out her arms to stop his worried lecture. "Everything's fine. I'm fine."

"You know you're really starting to sound like a broken-"

Not now.

Jaune looked her up and down before turning away with a sigh, of relief or exhaustion Pyrrha couldn't tell. "Okay. Well, we're heading out now."

"Of course. I'm coming." She trailed behind him as he walked back towards what had once been the village square. That Grimm attack had been a reminder of the risks of getting too close, especially in her current state. Logically, a few feet of distance wouldn't make any difference.

Even so, it felt safer.

A/N:

#LetTeamJNPRSwear2k17 because god knows these poor kids have been through enough to warrant it.

Don't worry, I do have an actual plot for this fic planned out, it's not all angst and internal monologues. There were some things I had to set up first and if all goes as I want it to the story will be kicked off next chapter for real. It's gonna be epic. Just let me get my life together first.

Thanks to those who have followed/favourited, and to those who have left reviews! Feedback is important to me because I want to be a better writer, and because it's encouragement for me to keep going.