""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"I am not eating hospital food." Joker glared at the plate with distaste and something like disappointment before cutting his eyes at Bruce. "I want real food."

"Since when did you get so picky?"

"Since I know you have the money to pay for it, rich boy."

Bruce sighed. "And you really expect me to leave you here while I go out and get you something? I'm trying to get them to treat you, not commit you…and if you do any number of the things I know you're quite capable of they-"

"Oh will you relax? I came, didn't I?"

Really, he did have a point. He had seemed a little subdued after his seizure, either more startled by it or in more pain than he was letting on. Either way, he had cooperated marginally well with Bruce throughout the trip, and he hadn't absolutely terrified the doctor. His behavior had been nowhere near as horrible as it could have been. "Yes. You did." Bruce leaned over him to brush a strand of hair away from his face, still unadjusted to the bleached color of it. As crazy as it might have been, he preferred the green. It suited him. "Alright. What do you want?"

Joker's eyes danced, possibilities running through his head. "A cheeseburger."

"That's what I brought you, what you have already!"

"But it's hospital food."

He sounded remarkably like a four year old, and Bruce couldn't help rolling his eyes. "Fine. A non-hospital cheeseburger. Shouldn't be too hard to come by."

He caught Bruce's hand with one of his own, turning his head to bite gently into his wrist, then lap softly at the teeth marks. "Don't be long. I'll be bored."

"Oh, that reminds me. Here." Reaching into his coat pocket Bruce pulled out a pack of playing cards, tossing them onto the rolling table. "Knock yourself out. I'll be back in 10 minutes." He leaned further over him, eyes burning with seriousness. "If you go anywhere, I'm having them tie you down."

"…you wouldn't. Not here." He leaned forward, almost close enough for the tips of their noses to touch. "You want to keep a low profile."

"Try me then."

""""""""""""""""""""

"I tell you to get me a history, and all you can tell me is that the guy's had a few headaches of unknown severity that may or may not be related to frequent run ins with the ground? What the hell am I paying you for?" House glared at them all for a long, silent moment before turning to write the new symptom on the white board.

Foreman was the first to speak up. "Frequent headaches combined with recent nausea, could point to a brain tumor."

"And the neurologist leaps to the brain, just because he has nothing else to go on. Isn't that kind of tragic?"

"I'm not leaping. 13 said he showed definite psych symptoms, and Taub said the partner confirmed he's a habitual liar. Without leaping to conclusions, if we combine that with what we already have, seems to me it points pretty clearly to a brain problem. A tumor's the simplest to rule out, we can go from there."

"Good." House nodded, tapped his cane against the board. "Supporting your crazy assumption, I like it. But what I don't like, to pick from a long, long list, is the fact that we have no previous records and therefore no basic bloodwork. Although, I would have had you redo it anyway. Kutner, go get me some blood from our happy patient. If that comes back with no obvious problems, which it probably will, schedule him for an MRI and a chat with Wilson."

Kutner had barely been gone five minutes when House's cell phone rang. "What, do you need me to help you?"

"He's gone."

"""""""""""""""""""

He was back in just over 15 minutes instead of 10, due largely to the fact that he didn't really know the area. The line he had had to wait in at Hardee's really hadn't helped either.

He knew, really, from the moment he had stepped out the door, but it was confirmed when he rounded the corner and saw the empty bed. Gone. "Perfect." He muttered it angrily, stepping inside the room just long enough to toss the food on the table and note the bloodied needle Joker had torn from his hand. "Perfect."

His mind was racing as he all but ran from the room, trying to calculate. Given run of the hospital, where would he have gone… Bruce was almost certain that he wouldn't have actually left the building. Almost. So, for the time being, he was going to only think inside it. And considering he knew next to nothing about the floor plan, he was groping around blindly. He slid into an elevator, mashing the button for the next floor.

He stepped out into a hallway that looked almost identical to the one he had left, same central water fountains near the nurse's station. After looking quickly both ways he decided to go left first, walking as quickly as he could without attracting too much attention. Around the corner the walls turned brightly colored behind the glass and his pulse raced, looking more carefully now. It was the pediatrics ward, hence the bright colors, which would have been plenty enough to attract Joker.

Sure enough, he was there at the end of the hallway in a group playroom, dressed in a nurse's outfit and sitting cross legged on the floor around a small tea table…along with a handful of kids. Bruce sped up, coming through the door at just the moment Joker said,

"So…who wants to see a magic trick, hm?"

Letting out a hard, angry breath Bruce grabbed him by the collar, hoisting him to his feet. "Playtime's over. Come on."

Joker growled but didn't fight him hard, only swung one arm around to clamp a hand vice tight around his forearm. "Now, now Bruce…there are children here."

"Sorry, kids. Keep playing." His voice was cold and monotone, and he said it without ever looking down. Quickly, he tugged Joker out of the room, waiting until he found a broom closet to wrench it open and pull them both inside. "What the hell were you doing? I told you to keep a low profile, how the fuck does that translate into killing small children?"

Joker leaned back against the door, rolling his eyes. "Sooo melodramatic. I wasn't going to kill them, you would have gotten pissed. I was just having a bit of fun." He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring. "A concept foreign to you, I know."

"Look, I don't mind you having your fun with me. With. Me. Do you understand? And at home in Gotham, I know there's going to be times you…do things I'd rather you not, hell, you do it all the time but while we're-"

Joker darted forward, arms wrapping around Bruce's neck to pull him back against the door with him. He was unbalanced, startled, and his full weight pressed against Joker for a moment before he caught himself on one hand. Joker moaned appreciatively, tightening his grip.

Bruce was shocked, overwhelmed with the sensation of it, and for a moment he could do nothing but return the kiss. This man was an addiction for him, and he hadn't tasted him since early that morning, hadn't gone farther than simple kisses with him in almost two weeks. He pressed closer against him, groaning into Joker's mouth at the way he wriggled against him, one leg rising on his hip. Bruce's hand fell to pull it higher, sliding the nurse's skirt up as he did and realizing how very much he appreciated the lack of pants.

It was that realization that shocked some sense into him and he pulled back with a gasp, shaking his head. "We can't…we can't do this here. Not now."

Joker made a soft whining noise, pulled Bruce back close enough to make him hiss when Joker rolled his hips against him. "Yes. Yes we can." He tugged on Bruce's collar, pulled it to the side just enough to bite down hard on his collarbone. "Want you."

The bite was painful, hard enough to bruise but he was more than used to. He enjoyed being marked, now. He took a deep breath, reminded himself why they had to stop. This time he pulled back all the way, disengaging from Joker's reaching arms. "Yes, well, I'd like that too but not right now. You're sick, and we have to get you back. And no, don't argue with me on that. And where the hell is the poor woman you took this from?"

Joker giggled, head rolling back to look up at the ceiling as he thought. "She's, ah, fourth floor. Supply closet. There were two of them with the kids, so her buddy's in there too…her clothes were more colorful but they wouldn't fit."

"Well, that's a pity." Bruce muttered it under his breath, pushing Joker out of the way to tug the door open. "Come on, let's go get her her dress back and your gown back on, then we'll get back to your room. Your food's probably cold, by the way. Next time you want something so desperately, don't go disappearing on me."

A soft thud behind him alerted Bruce, and he spun around to see Joker collapsed on the floor, twitching. "God, not now." He dropped to his knees, unsure of how to hold him, if he even should. He shoved the door open wide, called into the hallway. "Nurse! I need some help in here!"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

A/N: Don't worry, meeting House and Wilson is on the way, we're just not there yet. :D