Villefranche-sur-Mer rode the crests and swells of the steep cliffs as they ran down to the sea. The graceful buildings with their red-tiled roofs, the bell tower, and the distinguished profile of the church stood in sharp relief against a cerulean expanse of sky. As the dory bobbed into the harbor, Katniss tipped her head back and let her eyes take it all in. A contented sigh fell from her lips, drawing a low chuckle from the man at her side. She angled her head, giving him a smile along with an unapologetic shrug.
"Does this mean you're glad that you came with me," he inquired playfully.
She clasped her hands behind her as she stepped closer to the rail to look at the blue water that gave the Cote d'Azur its name. "I might be," she returned. "I'm withholding judgment. It's beautiful to be sure but I'm not entirely convinced that it deserves the distinction of being called Heaven on Earth. Not yet anyway."
His euphoric laughter drew her eyes. He leaned casually against the bulkhead, his own gaze trained on the towering cliffs ahead. She couldn't help but be grateful for his lack of attention because it gave her ample opportunity to study him. His jacket was tossed over a nearby chair leaving him clad only in light brown trousers and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the throat. The wind wreaked havoc with his already disheveled curls, leaving them a rumpled mess. His eyes took threads from the hot sky overhead and weaved them into a shifting tapestry as varied as the sun-kissed waters of the bay. He still looked at the crowded dock but the tiniest of smiles touched his mouth. He knew, the bastard. He knew and yet still said nothing. She dropped her eyes to the roughened planks beneath her feet, her cheeks pink as mortification set them aflame.
The quay was a lovely blending of old and new. Elegant scrollwork and decorative niches adorned pale stonework walkways where pastel shaded rowboats floated alongside larger vessels used to ferry passengers in from the massive ships riding anchor in the harbor. Katniss trailed after Peeta as he led the way to the taxi station, still in awe of the picturesque beauty of the town. She avoided his knowing look as she ducked into the waiting cab and tucked her skirt around her legs. He climbed in after her and pulled the door closed, leaning forward to murmur their destination to the driver. The man nodded and pulled into a street filled with the teeming mass that filled the street to bursting.
Peeta settled back and let his arm rest casually on the seat back behind her head. Katniss couldn't help but hunch her shoulders at his nearness. Her muscles were taut and strung out from the effort of keeping a semblance of space between them. He lounged in the seat, pointing out various landmarks as they passed. The cab finally cleared the congestion around the harbor and began the steep climb to the residential areas of the city. The higher they went, the larger the houses became tucked away within walled gardens and ancient groves of oak and umbrella pine.
"Where are we going," Katniss questioned. "We're headed into the outskirts."
Peeta nodded, his eyes still trained on the passing landscape. The closer they got to their destination, the more relaxed he seemed; almost as if a weight was being lifted a bit at a time. A playful grin blossomed on his face as he noted the scowl that had settled on her features. "We're going to visit Sae, or Sania Benivieni. She's the one I told you about. She moved here after she decided that I was capable of taking care of myself. She's quite a character. I think you'll like her."
Katniss eyed him dubiously. "You mean that you were being honest with me about visiting your grandmother." At his nod, her face flushed crimson yet again. "Peeta, I can't do this. What will she think of a stranger barging in? I'll have the driver take me back to the Rosamund or to a nearby café while you visit your friend." Her scandalized tones brought yet another smile to his face, this one tinged with a slight bitterness that he made no attempt to hide.
"You won't be barging in so just stop now." He scolded. "Sae loves company. She'll be offended if you don't come in and let her spoil you. She doesn't get the chance to mother very often anymore. You'll be doing her a favor. Trust me."
"You said that she practically raised you," Katniss settled back into the seat, turning to face him fully.
Peeta worried his bottom lip, for the first time letting a hint of unease peep through his habitually easy expression. "My parents weren't around much. My father was a diplomat and it wasn't unusual for us to move two or three times a year. We went wherever he was posted. Sae came to work for them a few months before I was born. Mother hired her to take care of the house when they were in Genoa. She worked out so well that they asked her to stay on. She was willing to travel with them so when they left, she came along. After I was born, she doubled as my nanny as well as being in charge of the house. Mother and Father were always being called away to one function or another so Sae was the one person who was always around. I guess you could say she sort of adopted me." He laughed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "She insisted on what she called 'proper behavior for a young gentleman.' She can quell me with a look even now. Don't let that scare you. I think she always wanted a daughter to dote on so she'll love you."
Katniss looked at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She started as pale fingers covered her twined hands and cut her eyes toward his face. The understanding she saw in his blue eyes made guilt twist her gut with a dull ache. "You thought I was lying," he stated rather than asked. "You came only to see me proven wrong. That would give you reason enough to avoid me in the future. Am I right?" She could only nod gray eyes solemn in her ashen face. Peeta smiled tightly and withdrew his hand. "I understand. I've given you no reason to trust me. Will you meet Sae with an open mind and try not to let your opinions of me color your manner toward her? She really does love company and will enjoy the chance to entertain."
Katniss swallowed noisily, feeling tears burn the back of her eyes. She hesitated only a moment before taking his hand between hers and holding it tightly. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I've treated you unfairly and I apologize." She avoided his searching gaze as she unconsciously traced patterns on the back of his hand. "You're not…uh…that is…this isn't what I expected."
"I made a mistake with you, Katniss," he confessed just as softly. "I treated you like any other woman I've come across. By the time I realized my error, you'd already decided against me. As I said, most people see what they want to see. I don't make the effort to change that perception anymore. Sometimes, it's easier to go along to get along. I'm sorry that I misjudged you." He turned his palm into hers, curling their fingers together. "Shall we consider this a new beginning?"
She wet her lips as she drew up her courage enough to meet the hopeful blue gaze he turned on her. "I'd like that, Peeta." She stated. "I'd like that a lot."
"Good," he breathed. A smile, like sunlight breaking through the clouds, lit up his face "Good," he repeated firmly.
The cab slid to a stop before a wrought iron gate curved and bent into gorgeous patterns. It looked like something alive instead of a construct, all willowy curves and gentle lines. Peeta paid the driver and bade him to wait. He rapidly keyed a code into a recessed panel and stood aside to let her enter before coming through and shutting the gate behind them. A high hedge ran perpendicular to the gate, shielding the house from view. "Go ahead," he whispered. "I want to see your reaction." Curious, Katniss followed the cobblestone pathway until it rounded the hedge. She stopped short, her eyes wide and wondering at the vista spread out before her. "Welcome to Heaven," Peeta whispered teasingly. She didn't answer, too caught up in the sight of the house and surrounding gardens. Letting her eyes feast on the sight, she nodded to herself. If heaven was a place on Earth, she'd just stumbled through its gates.
Honey tinted stone warmed by the sun covered the house's craggy outer walls. Window boxes of the same dark metal as the main gate blossomed from generous window, promising that the interior would be filled with air and light. Geraniums in every hue overflowed and cascaded from vases and the aforementioned boxes. Jasmine hung heavy in the air. Everywhere, there was something new to catch and hold the eye. Statuary stood at attention in cunningly placed alcoves. A pond edged with reeds and cattails filled up one corner of the garden. Its limpid surface shimmered in the afternoon sun. Katniss did a slow turn, eyes darting from side to side as she tried to take it all in at once. "It's beautiful," she whispered. "It's like something out of a fairy tale, Peeta."
He was saved from answering by a feminine voice, lightly accented, calling his name. He turned toward the sound, a broad grin covering his face. A trim figure came into view, gray curls covered by a delicate ivory shawl, her arms held outstretched toward the man who walked quickly toward her. Katniss watched in bemusement as the woman waved aside his embrace to cup his chin in her hands and lightly kiss both cheeks. She said something in rapid fire Italian that caused him to throw back his head and laugh heartily. He answered in kind, shaking his head at what was clearly a scolding tone. The woman gave him an exasperated look, patted his cheek firmly, and then cut her eyes toward the girl who stood silently watching. "Introduce me to your friend, scamp. She must think that we are barbarians for not welcoming her properly."
Peeta rolled his eyes, but offered Sae an arm as the two of them made their way to Katniss. He kept a supporting arm about the older woman's shoulders and gestured unnecessarily with his free hand. "Sae, this is Katniss Everdeen. She's travelling on the Rosamund. I coaxed her to come along with me on the understanding that she would have an enjoyable afternoon. Katniss, please allow me to present Sania Benivieni, Sae for short."
Sae looked the still silent girl over, taking in every single detail. The wrist thick braid hung neatly down her back while gray eyes peered solemnly from a pretty olive-skinned face. She was small but strong, neatly dressed in a light skirt and blouse that was neither showy nor overly modest. Sae nodded in approval. "Katniss," she rolled the name on her tongue as if tasting it. "It's a good name. It fits you, girl. Not frilly but soft enough on the tongue. I dislike your American fondness for harsh syllables. It sounds like you have something caught in your throat."
Katniss couldn't stop the grin at the woman's bluntness. "I can't take the credit, ma'am. My father had a fondness for the outdoors. He named my sister and me after flowers."
Sae nodded firmly. "A sensible man. There aren't many sensible men these days or women for that matter. Everybody is in a hurry, scurrying around like ants. It makes my head ache to think about it. That's why I made my own little world here. There's no hurry or rush in my little piece of heaven. You are welcome, Katniss Everdeen."
Katniss laughed, obviously enjoying herself. "Thank you so much. I'm very glad to be here."
Sae unwound her arm from Peeta's and threaded it through Katniss's bent arm. "Thom is puttering around somewhere, Peeta. Why don't you find him so that the two of you can catch up on gossip? I will keep Katniss company."
"Don't tell her any embarrassing stories," Peeta ordered. "She already has a low enough opinion of me. I wouldn't want it to bottom out completely."
Sae waved him away, her attention focused on the girl laughing behind her hand. "Let's go to the house. I have a lovely tea ready. We can relax and have a nice talk. You will tell me about yourself and how you came to be in the company of my Peeta."
Katniss gave Peeta a fleeting glance, catching the resigned expression that flickered briefly on his face. She sent him a reassuring smile before allowing Sae to lead her toward the house. She waited until they were seated before speaking, "I can't fathom why he brought me here. I'm sorry to have barged in on you unexpectedly. He insisted on my coming along."
Sae poured the tea and added a dollop of honey along with a generous splash of cream before setting the cup before her. She gestured to the tray which held an assortment of fruit, cheese, and small sandwiches, indicating that Katniss should serve herself. She then sat back in her chair and studied the girl intently before answering. "Peeta is something of an impulsive soul. He always has been. It was a full-time job to keep him occupied as a child. So many questions and so much energy in one small boy. He never wanted to stay in one place. His mamma and papa were called away often and the family moved from one place to another so the lad was always the new face. He spent a lot of time trailing behind me. I'm afraid that he never learned to take no for an answer."
Katniss choked on a buttery cookie and reached for the tea, downing it in three quick swallows. Sae's bright eyes watched her closely as she fought to catch her breath. "Uh…I'm beginning to figure that out," she stuttered. "He's been pretty forward from our first meeting the opening night of the voyage. I didn't know what to make of him at first."
Sae cackled, dipping a cookie into her tea before popping it into her mouth. "I'd wager that you still don't know what to make of him, girl. That boy has a way of twisting a person around his little finger whether they want to or not." She gave Katniss a sideways glance out of the corner of her eye. "You're not the little blonde thing that all the papers have him marrying as soon as he gets back home. In fact, you look nothing like the girls he's usually seen with. You're not very big or very pretty, girl. What do you think he sees in you?"
Katniss stiffened at the mention of Madge Undersee and Peeta's engagement. She's successfully managed to put that out of her mind. With Sae's words, the reality of their situation came rushing back. She felt her brow pucker, lips thinning to a tight, white line. "I think he needed something to keep him occupied on the voyage home and I was convenient. I told him that I wasn't interested in being his plaything but he was insistent on hanging around. I'm sorry if that's unflattering but it's the truth. I didn't ask for this and I don't want it. I have other things to think about."
Sae lowered her cup to the table top and studied the girl whose gaze was still locked on her folded hands. "Let me tell you a story, Katniss. It will do you good." She pulled a thin silver chain from the neck of her dress to display the ring hanging there. The setting was a plain band with a simple filigree pattern around the three stone setting. The ring showcased a pearl flanked by two rose cut diamonds. The iridescent surface of the pearl shown with flecks of carnelian, emerald, and cobalt. Its beauty took Katniss's breath. "My Stefano was an American like you. He was on leave in Genoa and came by the trattoria where I waited at tables. He came by every day after for the next two weeks. He asked to walk me home the second night and I could not refuse him. I knew from the moment our eyes met that he would be mine and I would be his. We fell in love, girl, in the blink of an eye." She snapped her fingers for emphasis.
"My parents forbade me to see him but how could I deny what my heart knew to be true. I left my home and followed him to his base where we were married. We spent four good years together, my Stefano and I. We planned to buy a house in this very town when he could leave. He wanted me to stay close to home and I wanted him to be near the sea. He loved it so, you must understand, almost as much as he loved me. He was killed in a training exercise just six months from his discharge date." Sae pulled a lacy handkerchief from her pocket and daubed at her eyes. "I didn't know what to do with myself. My cousin found me the job with Mr. and Mrs. Mellark or I would have gone crazy in my grief. The little one saved my soul as the job had saved my mind. At last, here was someone that needed me as much as I needed him. He grew up, learning my Italian and my love of art and music. He paints, did he tell you?" Katniss wordlessly shook her head causing Sae to sigh dejectedly. "He gave it up after his papa and mamma passed on. He's very talented, my Peeta. You must ask him to draw for you, yes?"
"I didn't know that about him," Katniss murmured. "He never told me."
"The Mellarks died in a car accident just after Peeta's eighteenth birthday," Sae confided. "It hit him hard. He loved them despite their shortcomings. He always wanted to please them. After their death, he tried to bury himself in what they wanted him to be. I watched him fade away a piece at a time…the women, running from place to place, the charming mask that he wears for the world. That's not my Peeta. It's a crude imitation of the good man he could be if only he would allow it." She took a deep breath and made a broad gesture, encompassing the house and garden. "He bought this place for me to come to when I could no longer work in his house. He knew my wish to live where my Stefano and I had planned to before his death. He had listened to my stories often enough to know exactly how it should be…and that is how I found it the first time I came through the gate. It was like coming home. I was home. My Peeta made sure of that."
Katniss reeled from the flood of information, her mind furiously sorting through conflicting emotions. It was all an act. All of it. If this woman was to be believed, and Katniss had no reason to suspect any duplicity on her part, everything she thought she knew about Peeta Mellark was not real. How had he managed to fool her, to fool everyone for so long? Was he right that people only saw what they wanted to when they looked at him? Was he judged sight unseen because of a few vile rumors and petty talk? Katniss felt her stomach writhe as the truth became clear. Yes, they had. Yes, she had. That didn't change the fact that he'd behaved abominably considering that he was, without a doubt, engaged to Madge Undersee. That was unpardonable, in Katniss's opinion. He was promised to another, but that promise clearly meant nothing if he was able to set it aside so easily.
Sae watched the play of emotions cross the girl's face, following them with ease. When she settled on stony indifference, Sae couldn't help but smile. This girl was no shrinking violet. She would stand her ground and fight if she had to. "You remind me of me once upon a time, piccola. Such fire and determination. Yes, I can see why he likes you."
Katniss snorted, unable to keep from rolling her eyes. "He's engaged, Sae. He made promises to Madge Undersee and yet the moment we met, he seemed to forget all about her. I can't overlook that. I can't excuse it."
The woman levered herself up from the table and gestured for the younger to follow her. "Come with me, Katniss. I wish for you to see something. I think It will help you to understand even if you can't as you say, overlook Peeta's actions." She chose another cobbled pathway that curved around the edge of the house. Katniss followed, an odd combination of curiosity and reluctance slowing her step. She didn't want the woman to tear down her carefully constructed walls that kept him out. She couldn't afford to let him get any closer than he already was, not if she wanted to get home with her sanity and her heart relatively intact.
The grounds continued to be immaculately tended. They passed a bench snuggled under a trellis shaded in ivy and surrounded by beds bursting with a rainbow of blooms laid out in concentric circles. The shades blended from pale to deep jeweled tones radiating out from the center. Katniss cast a longing glance at the bench. Here was a place of absolute serenity. She wanted to dive into it and never come out. Sae gave a soft snort of laughter, as if reading the younger girls thoughts but she didn't comment. She continued to follow the path as it wound its way closer and closer to the boundary wall. She slowed and waved a hand expansively. Katniss cocked her head inquiringly, following the woman's gaze to the sloping expanse of lawn. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight.
The grass bent low, its feathered tips following eddies and currents of the shifting breeze. Wildflowers of every shade dotted the meadow. The studied order of the rest of the garden was completely absent here. Nature was given free rein to do exactly as she wished. The result was a tangled wildwood that leached the tension from Katniss's shoulders and loosened the furrows that had etched permanent lines in her brow. She raised her face to the warm kiss of the sun and closed her eyes as the distant sound of chimes and water soothed her.
"I thought you would appreciate this," Sae murmured. "Even heaven has to have a few weeds in its garden, don't you think?" She took a seat on a roughhewn wooden bench nestled beneath a towering oak and gave the girl an appraising look. "Thom detests my meadow. He calls it an eyesore because it doesn't have the perfection and symmetry to match the rest of his masterpiece. I disagree and I think you would too. Nature left to its own means always creates beauty. Thom doesn't see that, but I can't fault him for it. Who chooses the flower and the weed if not the gardener?"
Katniss shrugged, her eyes clearly showing her confusion. "I don't understand. Weeds are unwanted. Most gardeners go to great lengths to keep weeds out but you've deliberately left this area alone. Why?"
Sae nodded approvingly, patting the girl's hand as she turned her attention back to the meadow. "Let me try again. My Peeta is like the flowers that Thom favors. He's what you would call a hothouse bloom—one that has been nurtured and carefully looked after. It's beautiful and desirable but if left on its own, it wouldn't last. It needs to be sheltered and loved to reach its full potential. You, however, are a weed. You stand tall and proud even in the tallest grass, needing nothing but the sun and rain. Some would say that a weed and a bloom can't co-exist. I disagree. I think that they need each other because one has what the other does not. Nothing can survive in a vacuum, piccola. We all need to be needed and accepted by someone, the dandelion as much as the rose."
"You're telling me that Peeta isn't as strong and confident as he seems," Katniss guessed. "That he needs someone who is strong in their own right." Sae nodded solemnly. "You don't approve of the girl he's going to marry. You don't think she will be that for him."
Sae worried her bottom lip, choosing her words carefully. "I think the girl would make someone a splendid wife. My Stefano was the quiet one, the gentle one. He lived and breathed for beauty. He loved me for all the things that I was that he was not, you understand." She brought her hands together, fingers intertwined. "Together, we were more than we were alone. Madge Undersee and Peeta would be happy but would they complete each other as a husband and wife should? I think not." Sae glanced over her shoulder at the sound of approaching footsteps. "And now our time together has come to an end. You must visit me again, Katniss. I have much enjoyed our talk."
Katniss smiled but stayed silent as Peeta joined them, his eyes darting from one to the other. Sae tucked her arm into his and commented, "You don't come often enough, boy. I will soon forget your face if this habit continues."
Peeta laughed and patted her hand where it rested on his forearm. "You could never forget me. I'm your favorite person in the world, next to Thom of course. He still bemoans your 'wasteland' as he calls it. He has great plans for a rose garden but says you refuse to let him into this part of the garden."
Sae tossed her head, waving her hand to show her unconcern for the man's plight. "He can dig and plant to his heart's content when I'm dead and gone. Until then, my word here is law. He will get over the disappointment."
Peeta merely laughed and dropped a kiss on the woman's worn cheek. She patted his fondly in return. "I won't walk you to the gate. I do not like to see a guest go. It dims the pleasure of their company. Peeta, do come back soon. Bring this one with you. She is welcome." Sae opened her arms and Katniss stepped into her embrace without thought. The woman pulled her close and whispered fiercely in her ear, "Keep that fire, piccola. It will protect you in time of need. I will remember your face, Katniss."
Katniss pressed her cheek against Sae's fondly before pulling back. "Good bye, Sae. I hope we meet again."
"If we do not, my girl, I will send you something to remember me by." The woman loosened her arms and enfolded Peeta in a hearty embrace. He whispered something Katniss didn't catch, laughed softly at the reply then stepped back reluctantly. "I'll be back soon," he promised.
"Go safely and well, my boy. I'll see you again." Sae waved them away, folding her shawl more tightly about her shoulders.
They backed toward the gate, raising a hand in farewell before ducking around the high cut hedge that led to the gate and the world beyond. Katniss's steps slowed as they approached. Peeta looked at her curiously. "I almost don't want to leave, "she whispered. "It's perfect here."
"It is," he agreed. "I never want to go but this is her world. You can come back, Katniss. She would love it if you did."
"Maybe," Katniss said, head turning for a last glimpse of the garden before she climbed into the waiting cab. "Someday."
XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
She stood alone on the moon drenched deck and watched the last vestiges of Villefranche-sur-Mer fade into the distance. The ship had waited until after the dinner hour to get underway. Many of the passengers had chosen to spend the extra time ashore, taking advantage of the large port and ready supply of seafood to sample the native cuisine. Katniss and Peeta had taken the first transport back to the Rosamund and ate aboard. The chef not to be outdone had offered up a variety of dishes. Katniss had taken Peeta's suggestion and ordered the lampughe. She eyed the plate somewhat hesitantly but was lost after the first bite. She almost choked when told that the side dish was katniss. The chef was apparently an acquaintance and had happily parted with the blooms that had been delivered to her room the first night aboard.
"I wondered how you managed to find them in the middle of the ocean," she said. "It seemed a little too good to be true."
He flushed, toying with the collar of his shirt as he unsuccessfully fought to keep a smile from his face. "That's why your name caught my attention. I'd been hearing about this fabulous new ingredient that Chaff had discovered. He's convinced that it will be the next big thing. Chaff is known for his innovation. He had intentions of using the flowers to garnish the plates, sort of a backhanded advertisement. I talked him into sparing a few. I thought you'd like them."
"I did," she muttered. "I'm just not in the habit of accepting gifts from strangers, especially engaged ones."
He didn't comment other than to raise a brow at her tone. Katniss bit her tongue before she said something she'd likely regret. The barely hidden venom that laced her words gave too much away. She hurriedly finished the rest of her meal and made her way out on deck. It was largely deserted, the sky shot through with stars and draped in silvery skeins of light from the three-quarter moon. Quiet footsteps coming closer loosened a swirling mass of sparks and embers in her belly. She closed her eyes, listening as they stopped just behind her. Warm hands settled on her shoulders and she shivered. They moved down the length of her arm and back up briskly to ward off her supposed chill. She couldn't find the words to tell him that she wasn't cold. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe.
The movement of the ship and the moon reflecting off the water lulled her into a false sense of peace. It was so hard to hang on to her resolve when everything else told her to let go. Here and now, all the reasons for holding back and denying what was happening between them seemed trite. She wanted him and he clearly wanted her. She could see it in the way his eyes followed her, in the touch of his hand, the way his voice roughened and deepened when he breathed her name.
It's the moon, she thought as she turned into him and let his draw her closer. She let the languid heat that invaded her limbs melt away any remaining doubt. It makes people do strange things, behave in ways they normally never would. She wasn't falling in love with Peeta Mellark, she told herself. It's only the moon.
Molten honey coursed through her veins as his lips found a sensitive spot just below her ear. Effervescent and light. Flying and falling at the same time. That was how she felt. A raspy moan drew an answering one from her. Ragged breath ebbed and flowed as his wandering mouth mapped the lines and planes of her neck. She felt her head tilt of its own accord to give him access to the delta of her collar bones. He laved the vale with the flat of his tongue, one hand snaking around her waist while the other cupped the back of her head to hold her steady.
Too much. It was too much too soon. She wasn't ready for the way her softer curves fit with the hard lines of him. He murmured his approval when her arching back aligned them fully, legs twining, hips rocking together. "Let me," he whispered as his fingers found the pearl buttons of her thin blouse.
"We can't," she sighed into his kiss. "Someone will see."
He hissed in frustration, bending to take a silk covered nipple into his mouth. Her breath left in a rush at the gorgeous contact. She forgot herself for a moment as her fingers tangled in his hair to press him closer. A sudden rush of air feathered over her chest as he eased the buttons free one after the other. "I need to touch you," he groaned. "I have to, Katniss."
"Not here," she said quietly. She stepped out of the embrace, fingers moving to straighten mussed clothes and push aside loose strands of hair. "I'll go to my cabin. Wait five minutes and then knock."
She moved away from him on unsteady legs, avoiding the way his eyes seemed to catch fire in the wavering light. He whispered her name, one hand lifted to catch hers. She deftly avoided it and him as she fled the deck and beat a hasty retreat to her cabin. She could hear nothing except the pounding of her heart thundering in her ears; feel nothing except the lingering heat of his mouth. Damn him. Damn her traitorous limbs for the way they dissolved into his. Damn her for feeling this way when she knew he couldn't be hers. Not fully.
By the time his knock sounded, she had managed to rein in her galloping heart. She pulled the door open and gestured for him to enter. He stepped past her and leaned casually against the wall, staring out the porthole as she closed the door behind him. She rubbed her hands together, unsure how to go forward. There was so much to say, but she had no words. She stared at him helplessly, willing him to be the first to speak. He didn't disappoint.
"I never asked her," he whispered. "I never said the words, not directly. We spent time together, more often over the last six months. Her mother made the comment that it was time we made it official. That's what got the thing started." He smiled bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest as he continued to stare into the dark. "Madge started hinting that she was ready for more. I knew it was a mistake but I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't. She's beautiful, smart, and we share a lot of the same interests. She's the kind of girl my mother would have loved. I never asked her to marry me but I didn't stop it from making the rounds when the talk started. There didn't seem to be a point. All I could think of was it might as well be Madge." He finally met her gaze. "That changed the minute I saw you. I can't explain it. It sounds ridiculous but I knew that you would be important to me. I just didn't know how much."
She shook her head, arms folded tightly over her stomach as she met his pleading look with anguished eyes. "You don't know what you're saying, what you're doing, Peeta. You still made a promise to her. You didn't stop it when you had the chance. Do you think that I can forget that and be with you now? Do you think I can let all that go?"
He shook his head angrily, hands clenched into unintentional fists at his side. "I'm not asking you to let anything go or to do anything that you don't want. If you want me, Katniss, then the rest of it is done. I will end it the moment we dock in New York. I don't want to hurt her but, if it means that we can be together, I'll do it. What about you? Can you say the same?"
She dropped her head, biting her bottom lip until blood beaded, metal and salt heavy on her tongue. "It's different for me," she said softly. "He's waiting on my answer. I haven't said anything yet that I can't take back."
"Do you love him?" Peeta demanded. He stepped closer and tilted her chin up until their gazes locked.
She blew out a shaky breath at the touch of his hand, but met his eyes unflinching. "I don't now," she confided. "I don't think that I ever did. Not really."
He eased closer, hand sliding down to cup her cheek. "And me," he mused. "Do you think you could love me?"
She closed her eyes at the sudden rush of emotions that flooded through her upon hearing those words. Her face turned into his palm of its own accord. Catching his hand in hers, she held it against her cheek. "I think," she said haltingly, "that we're playing with fire, Peeta. If we're not careful, it will burn both of us to the ground."
"Tell me to go then," he ordered. "Tell me to leave and I will."
The words wouldn't come. They hung in her throat, a tight knot of want and regret that choked her. But they wouldn't come. She couldn't get them out. She didn't want to. And he saw it. He gave her a searching look then nodded to himself. Without further ado, he bent and lifted her into his arms. His mouth found hers in a kiss that left her breathless and wanting. Her fingers wound their way into the hair at his nape and pulled him down. Their lips met once, then twice…teasing and claiming.
He placed her gently on the bed and followed her down, blue eyes solemn and intent as he took in every flicker of the roller coaster of emotions that raced across her face. He was giving her the chance to stop, she realized. Holding back so that she could be sure that this was what she wanted. Her hands found the buttons of his shirt and slowly unfastened them one by one. She looked up to meet his eyes and almost cried at the unbound joy she found there. He shrugged out of his coat and let the shirt fall unheeded once the last button let go. Peeta tugged at the hem of her blouse questioningly, seeming shocked when she took the hint and pulled it over her head, dropping it to the floor.
"Are you sure," he questioned. "I'll wait as long as you need me to, Katniss."
She shook her head, smiling softly to herself as she eased off the rest of her clothes, reveling in the awed look he gave her as every new inch of skin was revealed. It didn't take him but a moment to catch up and then there was nothing between them. Nothing but dappled moonlight and need.
They came together slowly, mouths meeting like old friends. Hands roamed freely over uncharted valleys and hills, finding those places that turned breaths into sighs and sighs into moans. He discovered that kissing the thin skin of her neck made her press against him in a delicious fashion. She found that he was ticklish along his ribs and scraping her nails down his spine made him groan her name. Warm lips captured taut peaks, teasing them into tight buds. Limbs loosened and opened as bodies aligned. He fused them together, whispering her name as heat surrounded and enfolded him. She winced at first, awkward until it eased and settled her legs firmly about his hips as they began to move.
The pace was languid and slow, a steady building that coiled tighter until the world stopped and held. Harder. Deeper. Breath coming in short, quick snatches. Foreheads pressed together, lips finding each other. Touch. Taste. Want. Need. Fire…always fire. She burned him like a brand. The words were torn from him unbidden as he felt her begin to fall. "Ti amo, ti amo." They moved together faster, her legs falling to the side as shudders wracked her body. "Ero morto dentro prima di incontrarti." His hands cupped her face, holding her steady as him lips found hers. ". Voglio passare ogni momento di ogni giorno con te." She turned her face into his shoulder, hips rising and falling to meet his quickening pace. "Ogni respiro ed ogni battito del mio cuore mi offre un altra possibilita di innamorarmi di te." A soft cry escaped her, nails digging into his shoulders as she rushed headlong toward the cliff, dragging him over with her. "Ho solo bisogno di questo. Ho solo bisogno di te." The last came out as a breathy whisper as she took everything he had to give.
She pushed the sweaty curls that had plastered themselves to his forehead aside and let her lips trace the lines of his face. He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touches as his breathing gradually slowed and steadied. "What did you say?" She asked curiously. He stiffened, turning his face into the pillow to hide the heated flush of his cheeks. "Tell me," she demanded, poking him roughly in the ribs as he continued to avoid her gaze.
Peeta bit back a laugh at her belligerent tone. He kissed her softly, fingers twining together on the pillow by her head. "I said that you are beautiful and that I couldn't imagine that anything could be better than being right here with you. I would stay here forever if I could."
She rolled her eyes, playfully smacking his shoulder. "You're a sap, you know. You should write cards for Hallmark in your spare time."
He shifted to the side and pulled her with him until she lay nestled against his side with her head resting on his chest right above his heart. "Your sweet talk leaves a lot to be desired, my dear. You should sleep. It's been a long day. You have to be exhausted." Her answering yawn pulled a grin from him. "Go to sleep, Katniss. We will talk in the morning."
He felt her limbs grow heavy as her breathing slowed and deepened. She mumbled something under her breath, edged closer until her lips barely grazed a spot on his neck. He tightened his arms about her in response and waited until she was clearly under before speaking again. He kissed her forehead, fingers gentle as they pushed tangled dark strands away from her face. "I wasn't completely honest with you," he murmured. "I didn't want to scare you but I had to say it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I love you, Katniss." He eased down until he could clearly see her sleeping face. "I was dead inside until I met you." His voice shook but he continued, determined to get the words out. "I want to spend every minute of every day of the rest of my life with you. Every breath and every beat of my heart gives me another chance to fall in love with you again. I just need this, Katniss. I just need you."
He let out a long slow breath before closing his eyes. That was it then. It was done. He pulled her more tightly against him and let himself go not realizing that she'd heard every word.
End part 3…
