Title: Inner Monologue
A/N: Just a little oneshot of Caitlin's post kiss thoughts.
Caitlin Snow is a scientist so, by default, she's always kind of considered herself to be a realist. That is, until Barry Allen comes into her life and she's forced to toss that belief out the window.
Now, she was trying her hand at it again.
Realistically, it's probably best that the Barry Allen that she kissed wasn't Barry Allen.
It would cause lots of unnecessary awkwardness- well, more than there already was; Caitlin knew she was an awful liar and was being way too jumpy around Barry to be considered normal- and no doubt a whole bunch of complicated conversations where she would stutter and he would skirt around the subject in that adorable way he did.
Since when did she start thinking of Barry as adorable?
Good lord, she needed to get more sleep.
But even Caitlin wasn't naive enough to believe that the kiss left her completely unaffected. She'd kissed him back for god's sakes even though, in the back of her mind, she'd known something was wrong. Barry had never been so forward with her and she knew there was a shapeshifting metahuman on the loose.
Honestly, the biggest reason she doesn't tell Barry what happened is embarrassment. She should have known better.
But Caitlin had been bold enough to hope.
Hope never led Caitlin good places. She hoped Ronnie would come back. He did... as a bipolar metahuman who didn't want to be anywhere near her. She hoped Harrison Wells was a good man and that Barry, Cisco and Joe were mistaken. He turned out to be a murdering metahuman.
She hoped it had been Barry who had kissed her. It turned out to be a crazy shapeshifting metahuman.
(Metahumans were really screwing up her life.)
And there it was, the fact Caitlin had been desperately avoiding.
She wanted Barry to kiss her.
The fact made her want to bang her head against the table because that was absolutely typical of her. She falls for the wrong guy at the worst possible timing.
There were too many factors on the list of things that could go wrong, Iris and Ronnie being the first two and Barry's secret identity being the third.
The fourth would probably be the fact that Barry didn't reciprocate any of Caitlin's feelings.
But for now, Caitlin decided, that was alright. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, Caitlin decided that she wasn't going to mope about it or wait around for him.
But… if he just so happened to decide to kiss her again- as himself this time- well, she might not be so opposed to it.
