Happy Friday!

Is anyone out there reading this? I wanted to thank cmoody74 for her review of the last chapter and I really do appreciate it and I hope you like this one as well!

This chapter turned out to be longer than I had originally thought but there is some good stuff in here. We are going to be moving forward in time but I'm still branching the two stories and catching up with everyone. We start off with some fun before getting to the heart of emo Bella. Bare with me, we're setting the stage.

I have some story recs for you guys: I Never Knew by nerac. This is a great story and she updates weekly. After a phone call from a stranger turns her life upside down, Isabella Dwyer realizes that the people you trust the most sometimes tell the biggest lies. Can she convince a man in uniform to help her discover the things she never knew? Definitely check this one out!

Last Tango in Forks by AwesomeSauce76. I can't say enough great things about this story. Bella Swan has spent a lifetime putting everyone else's needs before her own. Could a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger begin to change all of that?

And lastly: Rapture by AydenMorgen. This story has it all: action, romance, humor and some pretty hot smut with an amazing plot line! In the blink of an eye, her ballet career ended. His as a DEA agent is now on the line and lives are at stake, but when they meet on the dance floor, nothing even compares. Can they work together to stop the Volturi or will rapture tear them apart?

If you guys have any stories I should be reading please, PLEASE let me know! I am always looking for something good to read!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. © badkfare 2011

Enjoy!


BPOV

July 21st/22nd, 2009 - Cliff Diving

Watching the look of disappointment on the faces of those I love nearly rips my heart out of my chest. I mean I know I am lost but there is something else that I haven't told anyone yet. A part of me wants to move on and join the rest of the human race but something is holding me back. I look around my room as I prepare for another evening of nocturnal distractions. I hate the fact that I can't make it through the night without waking up with my heart beating out of my chest and dripping in sweat. By the entrance of my father I know that I have been screaming.

I take a shower to release the tension of the day from my body. Fighting with Edward always sends me over the edge. I know I should talk to someone but a stranger asking me questions of how I feel just sounds very unappealing. The hot water burns my skin but my muscles sing in approval. I let the water beat down my back as I breathe in the steam. Too many things are clouding my mind and I need help cutting through the fog.

So many things went horribly wrong today. The meadow should've gone in a completely different direction and the conversation with Esme was uncomfortable which has never happened before. Walking into my house I had prepared myself for another round with Charlie but the exhaustion and worry written from head to toe let's me know he didn't have the fight in him. I hate to see my father like this but what's worse is the knowledge that it's all my fault.

I let the water work its magic for another couple of minutes before I wash up and exit the shower. I dry off before getting dressed, brushing my teeth and running a brush through my hair. I work a quick braid before leaving the bathroom and heading to my room. I head over to my bed to get comfortable. I leave my window open since the heat has finally graced us with its presence and what little breeze there is, is a welcome guest. I pick up my book and settle in for the long night.

About an hour in I look at the clock as I take a break. I pick up my cell phone knowing I haven't missed anything. I didn't say goodbye to Edward and the worse part is that it didn't even occur to me until I was half way home. I know I should've called Edward to say something but I didn't have the heart to make him feel any worse then he already does. Edward has taken so much of this unto himself and even though I have told him time and time again that this isn't his burden to bear he still does.

I open up a text window in the attempt to write him a note so he might sleep better but the words escape me. I want to tell him how sorry I am and how I would do anything even talk to a shrink to see him smile again. I want to tell him that I'm fighting an enemy without a face and the thought of sleep and even food terrify me. I want to bare my soul to him and have him help me from this hole I have dug for myself but again the words fail me.

I close my cell phone and set it back on my nightstand. I hear Charlie turn the off the T.V and make the climb up the stairs. He stops outside my door and listens before moving on to his room. I look at my book and I really have no interest in reading anymore. I set the book next to my phone as I listen to the quiet hum of my old house. It's the nights where I find myself the most lost. Before the emptiness can creep in I hear my phone alert me to a text.

Heading to the cliffs; need a ride?

I smile as I text yes. I close my phone before springing up to change my clothes. I need something to occupy me and this is the perfect way to end the evening. I pull on capris and a tank top before slipping on a pair of flip flops. I write a quick note in the off chance that Charlie actually wakes up to find my bed empty; although by the look of him I think he will sleep like a baby. I step out into the hallway and listen. Charlie's loud snores are music to my ears. I move to the stairs before slowly taking a step a snore.

I make it to the bottom as the movement of headlights scans the front of my house. I exit the front door locking up before sprinting to the car. I get in and take a deep breath as we wait patiently for any movement in my house. I smile as Jake laughs and puts the car in drive. We drive down my street after a few minutes pass.

"I can't believe Charlie can sleep so soundly. I mean your house creeks like geriatric bones," Jake's boisterous voice fills the car as I smile at him.

"He had a long day at work besides it's not like he thinks I would sneak off in the middle of the night," my voice is light as I fight the encroaching guilt.

Being with Jake and the Quileute boys is easy. They didn't have to go through the whole nightmare with the rest of us so they don't look at me with pity. I can be a completely different person with them where I don't have to listen to pleas of therapy while fighting glaring looks.

Jake knows what went down because of the friendship between our dads. Even though he knows he doesn't treat me any differently and I can't begin to tell you how much I love him for it. I can't spend time out at La Push during the week since most of the boys got summer jobs. Jake is working at a garage with a friend of his father's. I know he loves to get his hands dirty but it also leaves him little time to hang with the rest of his friends.

So about two weeks ago the guys decided to start getting together at night. I don't really know why they chose to do it so late but I was grateful for the invite. It's not every night but a couple times a week the guys and their girlfriends pick random places on the res to hang out. This is the second time we're heading out to the cliffs. The first time I watched in shock as a couple of the guys jumped into the water below. I mean the tide wasn't bad and we all waited with baited breath for them to surface but I couldn't fight the jealousy at their lack of fear to do something so reckless.

"What's on the agenda this evening?"

"Well it's a hot night so the guys want to go for a little dip. I think Leah's going to join us," Jakes beams with pride.

Leah is kinda a tough cookie. I mean I get her and Jake since he's gentle and thoughtful where Leah is rough and abrasive. It's a complete gender reversal and I think it's what keeps them together. At first I didn't really care for Leah, but I have grown to appreciate her complete lack of bullshit. She's definitely someone you'd want for ally versus an enemy.

"You guys are insane. I mean what exactly goes through your head when you're falling?"

"Bells it's a complete high and the best part is it's all natural. I mean falling into the darkness before being immersed in the cold water; it does wicked things to your senses," Jakes smile radiates as he turns down the familiar road. "You gonna try it tonight?"

"Do I look like I have lost my damn mind?"

"Well you are hanging out with us so I thought it was a given," his laugh is infectious and I can't help but laugh with him. "I think you could really benefit from it."

"We have met right? I mean I am the girl that could sever a major artery from a paper cut or fall down a couple flights of stairs before going through a window. I am a walking disaster. With my luck I would get stuck in a rip tide and drown," I roll my eyes as Jake's laughter deepens.

"On second thought you can hold onto the clothes. The last thing we need is another trip to the ER. Hell they should build a wing and name it after you from all the repeat business you give that small hospital," Jake bumps my arm with his and I laugh at how true his words are.

The car comes to a stop as I see the rest of the boy's rough housing. I laugh at how childish they seems as Paul gives Embry a wedgies. I follow Jake over to the group as Quil and Seth greet us. Sam is talking to Emily and Leah as Embry knocks Paul to the ground. I laugh and quickly move out of the way as Paul loses his temper and moves through the small groups to exact his revenge on a scared looking Embry. Sam finally stops Paul as Embry falls to the ground panting.

"Do you have a death wish Embry?" Seth's laughing as Embry stands to wipe his face off.

"What can I say I need someone to test out my mad ninja skills on," everyone laughs as Embry's face registers irritation. "What? I could've totally taken him."

"Sure you could've; just like coordination is my friend," I laugh with the gang as I throw my shoulder into Embry's earning a smile.

Paul makes his way over to us as he throws his arm over my shoulders. I smile up at him as Paul and Embry make peace. Sam calls everyone over. Paul with his arm still around me escorts me to the larger group. Leah walks into Jake's embrace and I smile and their intimate moment. I'm glad he has her. They really look like they really care about each other.

"How are you pretty girl," Paul's voice is quiet in my ear.

"I'm better now that I'm here," I smile up at him as Paul leans his head down to mine.

Sam talks about the jump and all the safety precautions. I listen carefully trying to talk myself into joining the rest of the group. I don't know why but something about this sounds oddly appealing. Maybe I am losing my mind. Sam finishes the tutorial before everyone jumping starts to strip off their clothes.

"You going to join us Bella?" Paul's arm leaves my shoulders as he starts to lose his clothes.

I am momentarily distracted as I see all the guys and their great physiques in nothing more than gym shorts. I haven't seen this many six packs since I walked down the beer aisle with Charlie. Damn, these boys must do nothing but work out. I hear laughing before I look up at Paul.

"See something you like?"

"Yeah not so much," my blush is totally giving me away but aside from their abs I'm not remotely attracted to any of these guys. Don't get me wrong these guys are sweet and attractive but my heart belongs to only one guy and he's more of the pasty variety.

"Are you joining us?"

I walk over to the edge of the cliff and look down. I can see waves crash against the rocks but the water looks pretty tame. I feel a pull, a desire to jump. I look back at everyone almost stripped down as my heart races.

Am I really considering this?

Sam stands by me at the edge of the cliff. He looks at me and smiles before walking back to Emily. He hands her his shirt before giving her a kiss. Without notice he takes off running as he launches himself off the edge. Cheers and howls fill the air as everyone waits for Sam to reemerge from the water. After a few moments Sam's head pops up before he takes off swimming for the shore.

One by one the other boy's gets in line to jump. Jake and Leah are in the back as Quil is the next to take the plunge. I bounce on the balls of my feet trying to psyche myself up. Emily is the only one not jumping as she continues to bag up everyone's clothes. Paul motions for me to get in line before teasing me. I roll my eyes since he knows damn well this isn't a tactic that works on me.

"Make up your mind yet Bells?" Jake removes his lips from Leah long enough to look my direction.

"Yeah Bella let's show these boy's how it's done," Leah's voice sneer at the others as Jake leans in for another kiss.

You know what, screw it. I start removing my clothing as Embry takes the plunge. Paul cheers me on as Jake and Leah take a break from suck fest to register shocked expressions. My heart is literally threatening to burst out of my chest but I feel more alive than I have in a while. I hand Emily my clothes as she starts to make her way down to the beach.

After some discussion, it's decided that I will jump before Jake and Paul will wait off to the side in case god forbid I run into any trouble. I guess now would be a good time to send out a prayer to all the gods to try and cover my ass. I take a deep breath as Paul disappears over the ledge. I hear him surface as he calls for me to jump.

I panic as I realize what an idiot I am. Who in their right mind jumps off a perfectly good cliff? I look at Jake as he gives me an encouraging nod. I take a deep breath. I can do this. I will do this. I already gave Emily my clothes and shoes which means there is no way I am walking to the beach half naked. I could sit in Jake's car but I would never live down the ribbing.

"Remember Bella, get a running start so you can have some distance between you and the rock wall," Jake's voice is soft as I nod.

I can hear Paul calling up from the water as I take another breath. Before I know it I am running. I open my eyes just as I reach the edge and using every muscle I have, I jump harder than I ever have before. There is a moment of weightlessness before gravity pulls me down. I am moving through the air and the freedom is liberating. A second later and I'm hitting the water. I can't begin to describe the pain as the cold water encases my body.

My body disappears under the surface and I am once again surrounded by freedom. I open my eyes as the darkness floats around my body. I am at peace as the burn of my lungs from lack of oxygen makes its presence known. When I can fight no longer I move to the surface. I break through the water as Paul reaches me.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I pant as my lungs find the relief they are so desperate for. "That was incredible."

"Welcome to the tribe Bella Swan."

Paul helps me to the beach as Jake and Leah make their jumps. My body is still pinging from the adrenaline coursing through my veins that I don't even register how cold I am.

"Bella you're blue, come here," Paul's arms are out stretched with a towel.

He wraps me up in a towel as he proceeds to dry me off. I can feel some warmth returning to my body as my actions sink in. I can't believe I jumped off a cliff. Who knew I was so brave? I laugh at myself as Paul finishes drying my body before handing me the towel to dry my hair. Jake and Leah join us as the group cheers our accomplishment.

Sam and Emily built a fire for us as we all gather to dry off. I pull my clothes on before sitting next to Paul. The comfort I have with this group couldn't be more different then what I have with the Cullen's. I don't feel under the microscope and I don't feel the guilt that I put all their lives in danger. I am able to laugh and smile and just be.

I have missed this.

March 5th, 2010 – Jake POV

Sitting here in these shitting hospital chairs I keep my eyes trained on Bella's door. I can feel the weight of her letter in my hand but I don't have to open it to know what it says. Making the decision to help Bella was an easy one, even though I knew full well there wasn't anything I could've said to stop her. That girl is stubborn as hell.

I look over at Edward and can't help but feel sorry for the poor bastard. Bella told me her whole plan to write out everything and even though I told her on several occasions that the up front approach is much better, she of course did it her way. By the looks Paul and I are getting, I'm guessing Edward is to the cliff jumping part. As the best friend I have seen and even read parts of the journal but the letters, I wasn't prepared for those.

I was supposed to be there. I was on my way to meet her and if I hadn't been late she wouldn't be here. It should never have gotten this far. I actually thought that Bella knew what she was talking about. I mean all the planning and sacrifice she put into this to have it end here just breaks my heart.

Edward is clenching his fists…Must mean he's gotten to a good part.

I try not to laugh at his reactions. I mean Bella has quite the taste for the adrenaline rush. Something me and the boys were more than happy to cater to. I glance at the boys and I can see that their hearts are breaking. To know Bella is to love her and although our love isn't romantic it doesn't make it any less fierce. I mean to most of these guys, she's the little sister they never had.

"Why the hell does Cullen keep looking at me like he wants to rip me limb from limb?" Paul's irritation is slightly masked by exhaustion.

"He's reading Bella's journal. Apparently he doesn't like what she says about us," I chuckle as Paul's brow creases.

"I'm trying to think of what she could write about that would have him so pissy."

"Oh I don't know it could be the cliff jumping or the motorcycle riding or the fact that you can't seem to keep your hands off her," I nudge him as his look becomes even more confused.

"He doesn't think…You're kidding? I'm with Rachel," Paul looks over at Edward like he's crazy before I grab his arm to rein him and his temper back.

"Dude try and remember, her and Cullen haven't really spoken in a couple of months. He has no idea what's been going on in her life so calm the hell down."

Paul sits back in his seat and looks around the room before letting out a deep sigh. Rachel, my older sister is packing up her life in Seattle before moving back here to be with Paul. She found a job on the reservation as the new history teacher at the high school. I had my reservations about Paul and my sister but then I saw the calming effect she has on the hot head and I can't help but be grateful.

"He knows she loves him right?" Paul's wounded tone is low as he looks over at Edward.

"Would you? How do you have faith that someone loves you when they walk away?" My eyes travel over to Leah who sits between her mom and brother. I sadly am in the same boat as Edward.

Leah didn't agree with me helping Bella. She thought it was ridiculous and a matter for the police. Oh course looking over everything that's taken place I know she was right. Truth be told I knew she was right then but the threats kept coming no matter what Charlie did and no one could seem to keep Bella safe. No matter what plans were set up, they always seemed to find her.

My heart clenches as Leah's eyes meet mine. She's not the heartless girl everyone thinks her to be but she has her pride and I think her greatest fear is that it would be me in that room instead of Bella. Although I also know I was the idiot that didn't fight but accepted what was. I would give anything to have her in my arms right now. I mean she did sit with me for a bit but sadly it's back to what it's been for the last couple months.

"We'll make sure he knows. I mean she did all of this to protect him after all," Paul's calm words remind me of what Bella made me promise.

To help Edward see the truth.

Although if he keeps looking at me like that, we might come to blows before I'm even able to say anything. Can't fault him for that, if the tables were turned and it was Leah in that room I wouldn't be any different.

I can remember when Edward and I almost did come to blows. It was an honest mistake but of course jealousy makes you see things differently. It was a turning point for all of us. I think it's what started the fragile crack that ultimately shattered the ground beneath us. That weekend all those months ago. I do know it's what gave Bella the tools to walk away from Edward. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

July 22nd, 2009 – Jake POV

"When exactly did you get your license?"

"Well…" my grip tightens on the wheel before looking over at her. "I haven't yet."

"Good thing for you my daddy is the chief of police," Bella giggles at me as I turn down her street. "So truth Bella, how are you?"

"I'm a train wreck Jake. But you don't really want to hear that," Bella turns to look out the window as the wall starts its ascent.

I stop the car outside Bella's house. I turn the car off and turn to look at her. I can feel her need to escape but I'm not going to let her. Something has to give and I don't want tonight to end like this. She turns to thank me but my smile stops her. I have to remind her why it's so easy to be around me. I want nothing from her but her happiness.

"I have something for you," I reach in the backseat before grabbing something wrapped in tissue paper. "Here."

Bella opens my gift to reveal an intricate dream catcher. I stare at her for a minute before I tell her the story behind it.

"It started in the Ojibwa Nation. In fact they are made for infants to ward off bad dreams through their youth. They aren't meant to last for long but it's to help the good dreams get through while the bad dreams get caught and are destroyed by the dawning light," my voice is meaningful as my fingers run over the delicate work.

"Charlie told my dad what's been going on. I know you aren't an infant but I thought maybe it would help ward off what's plaguing you these days," I take her hands in mine as I meet her dark troubled eyes.

"I want to be a place you can escape to Bella. The guys and I enjoy having you around and you seem happy but we are also concerned about you. I can see you retreating right now and I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable but I want you to know we're here whenever you need us. In fact Emily wanted me to tell you that if you need someone; she knows what you're going through," Bella looks at me shocked.

Emily wasn't always with Sam. In fact when she came to us she was a skittish little thing. I mean we knew something was off immediately when Paul being an idiot raised his arm to close to her and she flinched. I don't know the full story but I have seen the scars and I know that she could be a good sounding board for Bella.

I can see Bella struggle for a moment before her body slowly relaxes. I don't like to brag but I have this affect on her and I remind myself all the time to use it for good.

"I'm terrified to close my eyes," her voice shakes as I take her hand again. "I use to love my sleep but now…"

"What happens when you close your eyes?"

"They're there. They're always there waiting for me. I walk down the stairs and he's standing next to Edward and I look around the room and…" her tear ducts open and she loses her composure. "They're all dead Jake. My dad and the Cullen's are all lying around the room cut and bleeding and there's nothing I can do."

She buries her face in her hands as the tears overwhelm her. I pull her into my arms and feel her shake with fear. I am immediately grateful that Charlie killed this son a bitch because even though I'm mostly gentle, I wouldn't mind making him hurt right now. I let her cry for a few minutes before I pull her away to look in her face.

"Bella, it's just a nightmare. You know every time you open your eyes that no one is dead except that son of a bitch. Why is this affecting you so much?"

Her lip quivers as fresh tears roll down her face, "Because it isn't James who killed them."

"Well who then?"

"Victoria."

I had heard that James's accomplice had gotten away but how crazy could this bitch be to have my girl shaking like a leaf at the thought of retribution? I know the group as a whole wasn't working with a full deck. I know Royce was sitting in jail but the other two were out on bail. They'd be stupid to come back here.

"I'm pushing everyone away for fear that this nightmare is going to become a reality. They all look at me like I'm so broken but I just want to protect everyone I love. I don't know how to move forward," her voice is a whisper as the tears stop and the anger clips her words.

"Bella if and it's a very big if this girl comes back you are going to need the people you love in your life to be there for you. If you push them away, if you lose them can you live with yourself if she never comes back? I know how much this family means to you and I know how much you love Edward. Bella you are becoming a ghost at just the thought of losing them; what will become of you if you do?"

"It feels like I'm dying inside Jake. I left him today and everything in me just shut down. I don't know how to navigate this at all and I'm making myself sick trying to figure it out," Bella looks at me and her face is one of exhaustion and pain.

"Leah and I broke up for a couple weeks. We were fighting and she thought I wanted to be with other people and when I finally got her to talk to me, really talk to me I found out that she was struggling with some issues from her past. I can't really talk about it since it's hers to share but once I knew we were able to deal with it and now we are stronger than ever.

"If Edward knew what you are telling me right now I can assure you he'd wrap you in his arms and tell you that he loves you. At the end of the day that's all that matters," I smile at her only to find her smiling back at me. It fades quickly as fear overcomes her.

"What if it's finally too much to handle for him? What if I lose him?"

"If after everything you two have been through, if this is what does him in then it's his loss. You will survive this Bella and be stronger for it. But if this Cullen guy is who I think he is, he's not going anywhere," I pull her into my arms as I feel her take a calming breath.

"Ok Edward you were right; talking to someone really does help. I have seen the light and all that other crap. I know Edward's going to give me grief for this but as long as we find our way back to some semblance of normal I can deal with that," I can feel her laughing in my arms as she finishes her own personal conversation with herself. I pull back to look her in the eyes as I glance at the clock; it's almost four in the morning.

"I should let you get home; you have to be exhausted," she grin sheepishly at me.

"Are you going to go to sleep now?"

"Probably not; I will try your gift tomorrow night," Bella pulls back from my arms as she gathers her flip flops to leave the car.

"I don't have to get home. What else have you been up to?" I smile big at her and am rewarded with one in return. There's my girl.

July 22nd, 2009 - BPOV

I can't begin to explain the pain emitting from my hip. I mean the top half of my body is warm and comfortable and my legs are good but my hip is killing me. I stir from my sleep as I start to register the obnoxious sound of a horn honking. No not honking, blaring. My eye lids flutter heavily as I take in my surroundings. I am still in the rabbit, in the front seat, lying on Jake. Now I get the comfort. I look down at my hip and see the gear shift. Aw now I get the pain.

I shift slowly as some of the pain is alleviated. I look at Jake's sleeping face as I try to find the horn that is threatening to piss off the whole neighborhood. I look up at the car in front of me before it hits me. That's Esme's car. That's Edward in the driver seat. I am in a car with a guy that's not Edward.

Shit!

The look on Edward's face is one of sheer murder as Jake starts to stir under me. The emotions and thoughts running through my head are even dulling the now raging pain in my hip. I try to move off Jake but slip and fall further on to him. Jake jumps at my weight shift as he barks at the elbow I just threw into his ribcage. I finally pull myself off Jake as I open the passenger door.

"Bella? What the hell is going on?" Jake's sleepy voice follows me as I take a step towards Esme's car.

My eyes stay on Edward's as his brow furrows and I swear steam starts pouring out of his head like some cartoon character. I follow his eyes to my clothes to see they are all over the place. The wrinkled, jumbled heap covering me is not giving off a very good impression. My eyes snap back to Edward's as I shake my head. I hear Esme's car start as Charlie comes running out of the house.

"What the hell is going on?" my father's voice booms through the air as Jake jumps out of the car.

I shake my head at Edward pleading with my eyes for him to stay and hear me out. Apparently he didn't read that as Esme's car pulls away from the curb and takes off down the street. I call out to Edward as his blackened eyes focus on the road as he accelerates to get as far away from me as possible. I crumple to the ground as Jake and Charlie join me. Jake's arms comfort me but it's my father's voice that stops my heart.

"Would one of you like to tell me where the hell you have been?"

Shoot me, shoot me now.

After an hour of explanation and yelling on my dad's part Jake was finally released to go home and I have to say I couldn't blame him for pealing out. My dad was so focused on the sneaking out and cliff diving that it didn't even occur to him to bust Jake for driving without a license. Sitting on the couch trying to figure out how the hell I am going to dig myself out of the hole I just put myself in with Edward as my dad continues to stare a hole through me. I know he is far from finished with me but I can't seem to focus on anything other than the look in Edward's eyes as he drove away from me.

I could just let him go.

"Bells are you listening to me?"

I snap my head up to look at my father who's holding the house phone. I shake my head as he repeats that the phone is for me. I get to my feet hoping its Edward. Wait no I don't, if I apologize it needs to be face to face. Why do I have to apologize? Oh right cause I have been a complete zombie emo girlfriend that's been keeping things from him with a side of falling asleep in a car with my male best friend. Yeah definitely in person.

"Hello?"

"Bella can you come over? I really need to see someone other than my family before I go crazy and kill them all," her voice is a growl and very irritated.

"Rosalie?"

"Wow Nancy Drew however did you figure that out? Are you coming or not?"

I look at my dad. I have to ask while she's on the phone if I have any shot of getting out of this house. Charlie's going fishing with Harry and he's not going to want to cancel that to stay home and baby sit me. I give him my reserved little girl voice to ask to go over and hang out with Rosalie. He hems and haws before finally giving in. I take a deep breath as I get back on the phone and tell rose to come pick me up. I hang up before heading upstairs for a shower.

I know I am still in trouble with my dad but it's bound to be postponed until after the weekend. I get ready quickly as I grab my cell phone. I have five missed calls. Two from Charlie and three from Edward; I dial my voice mail and listen to my messages. I listen to my father's panicked voice as he asks where I am before getting to the messages from Edward apologizing for the day before and begging me to come over. My heart breaks as I listen to the two messages before the third where listening to Edward's panicked voice has him telling me he's on his way over.

Damn it; why don't I take my phone when it's important.

I have to see Edward. I have to tell him what happened and fix this. But first I will talk Rosalie down and then maybe I can get her to drive me to the Cullen's before bringing me home. I have to make him understand. Although knowing Edward my admissions and talking to someone other than him is liable to hurt him more than what he saw this morning. Stuck between a rock and a hard place and once again I draw the short straw.

I walk downstairs to see my dad sitting in his chair with his head between his hands. I scared him. I hurt him. I walk over to him and kneel in front of him before taking his hands in mine. I look into his tired, worry eyes and another part of my heart breaks. I give him a small smile before throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"I don't deserve you dad and I am so sorry that I put you through that. I'm turning it around I swear. No more scary Bella," I finish as his arms tighten around me.

"I love you so much Bells. You're all I got so please stop trying to disappear on me," his voice quivers and I know my dad is crying.

We sit like that holding each other for a few minutes while my dad composes himself. I know he is a guy that rarely cries and he sure as hell doesn't want to do it in front of his daughter. A knock at the door breaks our embrace as I stand to answer the door. It's Rose. I ask her to wait as I grab my hoody. I look at my dad and smile again.

"I love you too dad. Have fun with Harry today," my voice is lighter than it's been in a while and he smiles back at me.

I walk out onto the porch to meet Rose. I have to say that this new Rose breaks my heart a little bit. She's healthy and beautiful but the anger wraps around her body making her abrasive and standoffish. I follow her down to the car as we both get in. I wait for her to initiate conversation since to be honest I haven't really talk to her since she got home from rehab and with my luck today I would say something that would end our friendship.

"Jasper went camping and my parents are driving me fucking crazy. I had to get away but of course I can't do that without a god damn babysitter. I swear I feel like I am in prison," she starts the car as venom pours from her mouth. "I mean where do my parents get off being concerned after so many years of being obliviously absent."

We drive out of town as I look around trying to figure out where we're going. Rosalie is still fuming about her parents and how her mother's overbearing and her father's judgmental looks are making her wish she was back in rehab. I can sympathize since its awful living in a glass box with everyone looking and second guessing your every move. I try to listen as she talks but my mind turns to Edward.

"What do you think Bella?"

"I'm sorry?"

"La Push."

"Yeah sure sounds good."

The day moves along slowly as Rosalie vents and talks about rehab and the people she's met and keeps in contact with. I notice she doesn't say a word about her dark time; her wording not mine. She's seeing a therapist that she only mildly detests and things between her and Jazz is slowly healing. I am glad to hear that since I know how their strained relationship really was weighing heavily on Jazz.

"What is the deal with you and my brother?"

"Alice. She's going through her issues and I could see that my relationship with him was really bothering her so I am taking a step back. I thought that would make things better between Alice and I but sadly nothing has changed," I finish as I look as Rosalie and I can see this answer is pissing her off. "What?"

"What right does she have to be jealous of your relationship with my brother? I mean hello there's nothing going on between the two of you. Is there?"

"Good god no. I love Jazz as much as I love Emmett. They're my brothers," I watch Rose flinch when I mention Emmett's name and I immediately regret it. I know Emmett's been trying to find his way back to her.

"How is Emmett doing?" her voice is soft for the first time all day.

"He's alright. I mean he's healing and he's looking forward to rejoining the football team in August but other than that he's been alright," I watch her nod as if she's lost in her own world. Her eyes have tears in them but before she can be overcome by them, she quickly wipes her eyes.

"Ok let's get out of here. All this touchy feely crap is starting to make me nauseous," she winks at me as she turns the car on.

We listen to music on the short ride home. Just outside the town limits I feel my stomach drop as I remember that I have to serious explaining to do. I ask Rose for a favor which of course she agrees. I ask her to take me to the Cullen's.

"I can drive you up there but they aren't there. Jasper left with them this morning to go camping. Dr. Cullen got Monday off so they headed down the coast," her voice is matter of fact as the nausea over comes me.

"Can you drive me up there anyways? I have to make sure."

"Of course and while I'm doing that you get to tell me what you've done this time to invoke the wrath of Edward Cullen," she smiles at me as I start to give the summarized version of events. We pull up to the Cullen's as I finish with Rosalie looking like she wants to smack me.

"Seriously? Isabella Swan jumped off a cliff; what the hell were you thinking?"

"When I figure that out I will let you know," I give her a small smile as I get out of the car.

I quickly walk up the front stairs to knock on the front door. I wait patiently but there is no answer. My heart drops again as I bang my head on the door. Stupid Swan, so fucking stupid. What the hell do I do now? I pull their key out of my pocket as I weigh whether or not to go inside. I mean I can call and leave him a voicemail but what's to say he won't erase it. But if I go inside that might be breaking some unspoken rule. I look to Rose as I ask for another moment.

Screw it.

I let myself in. I walk into the foyer and call out hoping maybe Edward didn't go. I am met with more silence. Now what? I think for a minute before taking off up the stairs. I need a piece of paper and I know exactly where I can get some. I enter Edward's room and move quickly. Rose won't have patients for long and I have to get home to Charlie. I find paper and write him a note like I did when we were in school together. I fold it and leave it on his nightstand for him to find when he gets home.

I move through the house quickly as Rose lays on the horn. I lock up and get in the car as she turns on the car. I look at the house longingly as Rose moves quickly down the drive. I hope the next time I am here it will end differently. For now I get to wait two days to see if Edward will give me a chance to explain myself. To tell him I love him and how sorry I am for being so distant.

"You want to stay at my house tonight since everyone else is off having fun without us?"

"Wish I could Rose but I have a feeling that after last night my dad's going to have me on a short leash," I could see the disappointment on her face. I didn't want to be alone either. "Maybe dad wouldn't mind if you crashed at my house."

Rose's smile returns as she drives to my house. Knowing Charlie he'd love to have Rose at the house. I know he's missed her since her departure and I'm sure he will think that it's good for me to have a friend around. Plus it will keep me in the house. We pull up to the house and walk in together. Charlie is sitting in his chair nursing a beer.

"Hey chief daddy, how was fishing?"

"Rosalie, it was good. Not a lot biting but I did manage to get a couple. What are you two up to?"

"Can Rose stay the night? Everyone took off camping so it's just the two of us," I ask nicely while sounding a little sad at the same time.

"As long as it's ok with your parents Rose I don't have a problem with it," he takes another pull from his beer as Rose walks outside to call her parents.

"Thanks dad. What do you feel like for dinner?"

"How about we just order a pizza and call it good. It's a little warm to turn the oven on."

I give him a smile before making my way to the phone. I know what kind both he and Rose want so I make the call and place the order. By the time it arrives Rosalie should be back with her stuff. Rose pops her head in long enough to tell us she's heading to her house for her stuff. I smile at her as she turns to hand me an envelope.

"This was on the porch. Be right back."

My heart flutters. Maybe Edward came back after I left. To have missed him twice in one day would just be awful. My hand shakes briefly as I open the envelope. A single card is inside and it isn't his beautiful script but typed letters. I read the card as my breathing catches. I feel my heart drop as I reread the words. This has to be a joke.

"What is it Bells?"

"Nothing dad just an invite. No big deal," my voice is shaky but dad doesn't question it. No need to alarm anyone since I'm sure it's just a prank. I read the words again.

I see you.


This is where I'm leaving it! So we saw what has Bella all weird and distant, how Rosalie is handling returning from rehab and that Jake and Bella are JUST friends. Do you think Edward will agree? I can tell you that Edward's POV of this weekend will be in the next chapter.

This is the beginning of the new threat and whoever it is will be slow to show themselves. Who do you think it is? Penny for your thoughts!

As always, tell me what you think and I will give you a teaser of the next chapter! Till next Friday, have a great weekend!