Hey guys! So sorry about the gaps between uploading. I've been so busy. Again, HUGE thank you to everyone who has favorited/liked/reviewed BCWYWF, they mean the world to me!

Chapter 3, anyone? It goes right with Chapter four, which is why I will be uploading them at the same time.

I'm getting so into this story. And it hasn't scarcely begun! So, enjoy!

****Small updates. No biggie. Mostly trying to imply that Donnie/April are on the edge of a relationship, but not there yet. You'll see why later.


Mistake

Raph watched as his brothers pulled themselves up and away from the small landing outside of April's window. Well, two of them anyway.

Where was Donnie? He knows I like to be the one watchin' our backs, 'specially on nights like this. Something just didn't feel right. Raph could tell our Leo felt it; he had been anxious to get home and let April lock up.

Raph turned to find Donatello. The shell are you waitin' for, Brainiac? Suddenly, something hit the back of Raph's head. Snarling, he turned and whipped out his sai, but his threat was met by Mikey's stupid grin; clearly the younger turtle was happy about provoking his hot-headed brother. Mikey knew Raph would want to pound him, so he just wagged his finger in front of his brother's face, saying, "Nuh uh Raphie-boy, now isn't the time for your anger issues. We're goin home, and Donnie asked to stay behind for some alooone time with his giiiirlfriend." Mikey drew out the vowels in his words, teasing their love-sick brother.

Poor Donnie just couldn't get his mind together whenever he was around the boys' best friend April. He was putty in her hands, stumbling over his usually intelligent words and turning so red he could stop traffic in Times Square. But that was nothing new. Donnie had been that way around the redhead since they met three years ago. And as hilarious as Raph found his brother's embarrassment, he still felt for his purple-banded brother. Raph knew if he met the girl from the alley again that he too would be tongue-tied.

Although, Raph had to admit, Donnie had been scoring some major points and alone time with April in the past couple months. Maybe the love gods decided to cut his brother some slack.

"Fine. But he better not try anything funny. Get goin' Mikey, I'll watch back."

As Mikey leapt away a second time, Raph let out an inaudible groan. His thoughts had slipped to the mystery girl again. Even worse; I compared us to April n' Donnie. What the shell is wrong with me?

It had been weeks since Raph defeated the sickos that attacked her, but since then he had caught his thoughts drifting to her far too many times than necessary. It's not like he had anyone to talk to about her. He couldn't bring himself to confide in his brothers or Splinter, instead telling them that he merely ran off his anger that night. But keeping her a secret was really getting to him, making it more and more difficult to keep his focus during training.

Raph had never been as obsessively focused as Leo, but definitely more so than either Donnie or Mikey. But lately he was so distracted that his younger brothers were besting him during sparring practice, and Leo was flat out destroying him.

Lucky for Raph, they had only come across minor crimes and some Purple Dragon thugs since that fateful night; if the Kraang showed up, Raph wasn't sure he would be worth much in the fight. Although Leo, Donnie, and Splinter were concerned about the alien robots' long absence, Raph saw it as a blessing. He needed to get his composure back before facing them.

He knew it wasn't going to be long until his brothers figured him out, and he had a feeling Splinter sensed something other than ninjutsu was on his son's mind. Even now he was falling behind his brothers; Mikey was already two buildings ahead of him. Speeding up, he managed to overtake Mikey, forgetting his desire to be in the back of the pack.

As if on cue, Mikey ran beside Raphael began to tease him.

"Hey there hot-stuff, thought you'd never catch up to us."

"Shut up, Mike."

"You're so distracted, bro. And not just right now- it's like all the time. I pay more attention than you do during training!" Mikey laughed at the thought of his brother being more of an air-head than he was.

"Mikey, I said SHUT UP. I don't need this right now." Raph tried to break away from the formation Mikey had created, attempting to fall behind them. I'm not talking about this right now.

"Then when do you need it, Raph? Because obviously you're holding something back." Leonardo mused from Raph's right.

What I need is to turn my brain off for a while.

"Turn my brain off". Heh, I sound like Donnie.

Thankfully, Leo and Mikey took Raph's silence as denial, and didn't question him further. The three brothers reached their manhole, or the "homehole" as Mikey had dubbed it, since it was the one they frequently used to go topside from the lair.

Because Raph was the last one to drop down into the sewers, it was his job to put the cover back in its place. He didn't realize Mikey had moved it slightly to the right prior to Raph's jump. He made it halfway through before his elbow connected with the side of the cover, jerking his upper body to the left so his head hit the other side of the hole.

The noise Raph's body made when it connected with the metal alerted Mikey that his prank was a success. He doubled over in laughter, safe on the floor of the sewer tunnel. Raph had instinctively grabbed onto one of the rungs of the unused ladder leading down from the hole, keeping himself from crashing to the sewer floor. Trying to stop the pounding of his head and arm, Mikey's delighted snicker reached him through the pain; immediately his thoughts were consumed with a rage that surprised them all.

As he attacked his younger brother, Raph let all of his worry, insecurity, and stress of the past three weeks out through his fists. He mercilessly beat Michelangelo, ignoring the jokester's pleas of "Uncle! Uncle!" and Leo's frantic commands to stop. Raph couldn't think. He didn't feel Mikey's body go slack, or hear Leonardo's distraught screams, or think to take a breath when Leo threw him off of their younger brother into the sewage stream in the middle of the tunnel. The cold water brought him back to his senses. As he lifted himself from the murky water, gasping for air, he saw the tape on his hands was bloodied. A cold chill washed over him, along with the understanding of what he had done.

Wha… Mikey, what did I…

Leo was close to tears, kneeling over an unconscious Mikey. Now it was his turn to shake with anger. But, unlike Raph, Leo did not attack. He didn't even raise his voice.

I wish he would. I deserve it.

Leo fixed his icy, emotionless blue eyes on Raph's wide, apologetic green ones.

"He plays pranks, Raphael. He doesn't intend to harm. But you? You attack. And always intend to harm." he hissed at Raphael, "We could all tell. It's been obvious that you have a lot on your mind that you aren't sharing with us. Actually, Mikey was the first to notice. We gave you space, allowing you to stay out on your own after patrol when you asked, because we hoped you would figure things out." Leonardo took a deep breath, collecting himself for his final judgment, turning his eyes to the floor. "But it is apparent now that you haven't sorted it out. You just took your emotions out on your own brother, Raphael. This is something I never could have imagined happening." With that last sentence, Leo broke.

His eyes snapped up to meet Raph's again, this time the dark blue irises spilled over with tears and raw emotion. And now, he roared.

"Get out of my sight, Ishigame!"

Shocked, Raph hoisted himself up and ran as fast as he could. He allowed himself to become lost within the labyrinth of the New York City sewers, ignoring the hot tears falling from his eyes, soaking his mask. Everything his brother said was true. Finding a familiar chamber of the sewer, Raph let himself fall to the ground, shuddering with shame. The image of his wounded youngest brother was swimming in his mind. No one ever harmed Mikey while Raph was around; he was extremely overprotective of his carefree little brother. But, like Leo said, in his emotional outburst it was Raphael who injured Michelangelo. Normally Raph would be furious that Leo dared to throw him into the sewage, or talk to him in such a way. But he deserved every bit of it.

I won't ever forgive myself for this.

It was scary how much Leonardo had sounded like their father. For some reason, this thought filled him with sadness. Leo, like their father, was always right. Mikey was the most empathetic of the four, he always noticed and worried when one of his brothers seemed troubled. Mikey had probably gone to Donnie and Leo with his concern, and the leader in blue made the decision to let Raph come to terms with his problems by himself.

Another one of your failed plans, Chief.

But Raphael knew it wasn't Leo that had failed them, it was his own failure. Raph had more often than not stayed out after patrol, alone, looking for the girl. This just drove him farther from his family, deeper into his own thoughts. Instead of dealing in a healthy way, he let himself become obsessed with her, and the chance of finding her. Raph had finally boiled over, and Mikey was there to receive the consequences.

I can't keep doin' this. I really gotta forget 'bout her.

Collecting himself and preparing to go home, Raphael planned on begging for forgiveness. But all thoughts of home escaped him when Raphael heard a noise. Stilling himself, he listened harder. The noise was a crash. And the crash turned into a scream, then a splash, and finally deep sobs. Raphael couldn't believe it.

I know that voice.


So, Chapter 3? Review! And here comes Chapter 4!

Note: Ishigame is the Japanese word for "turtle". The brothers don't dare to call each other by this name, to them it is a reminder of how primitive and weak they would be if not for the mutation that changed their lives.