Extreme Measures
Extreme Measures
Disclaimer: own nothing.
A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.
Summary: Second installment of the 'Extreme Series.' A month and a half later, and Xander is questing for the gold. When does an obsession become unhealthy?
ҖECWҖ
"Yo, X-man," Rob greeted his friend as he entered his house in Michigan, "What's up, bro!"
Rob got out of his seat and walked over to his friend, who smiled as they clasped hands, wary of Rob's broken shoulder.
"Not much, man," Xander said, still smiling, "We're in town tonight, just dropping by to see how you're doing."
"Not too bad," Rob said, "Take a seat, I'll get us some beers. Don't even try," Rob said, preempting Xander's attempt to do it himself, "I'll get 'em. How many?"
"Faith's gonna be around in a few minutes," Xander said, taking a seat in front of Rob's television, where Rob was watching an old PPV of ECW, "Whatcha watching, man?"
"Barely Legal," Rob said with a grin as he came back inside, two beers in hand, "ECW's first pay-per-view."
"Cool," Xander said, leaning back in his chair as he accepted the beer, "Wow, that was back in the days where you couldn't go too far outta NYC."
"Yep, good times, man," Rob said, sitting down and taking a swig from his beer, "So, what's up, man?"
"…I'm kinda bugging out here, man," Xander said, setting his beer down and leaning forward in his seat, "Ever since I got the FTW Belt…I dunno, it's like I've got a one-track mind. I can't get thoughts of gold outta my head."
"Well, welcome to the world of wrestling," Rob said, clapping him on the shoulder as he did so, "Listen, bro, you've just gone through a natural thing that happens to every wrestler: they realize that they got what it takes to get the gold, and they want more gold, and they wanna keep the gold they already got. It's natural, man, but don't worry. It isn't debilitating or anything, it's just one of those things."
"Yeah, but…" Xander sighed, "Man…I'm starting to think about winning more than Faith. When she had her match with Sabu, I didn't make the save cause I was worried for her safety…I made the save cause I wanted her to win so we'd get an edge in our next match."
"Hmm…" Rob cupped his chin in thought for a moment, before turning to him and saying, "Alright, so winning's kinda taken the forefront in your mind. I get that, you're a competitor, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, if you're worried that you'll one day choose to sacrifice Faith in order to get the gold…I don't think you will, man. You got too much heart."
"I've been told that before," Xander said with a sigh, "But…I dunno, Rob, it feels like there's this…this pull on my soul, telling me to ditch her if it means getting another belt."
"…I got two suggestions," Rob got up and walked over to his desk, opening up a drawer and pulling out a book, "One: tonight, after your match, don't stick around to watch Sabu's match. Take Faith to a restaurant and have a nice, romantic dinner. Remind her, and yourself, why you care about her so much."
Xander nodded. That was actually a pretty good idea.
"Two," Rob handed him the book, "Read this."
Xander took the book from him, looking at the front cover.
"The Gunslinger," Xander read, looking up at Rob as he did so, "Since when did Stephen King write westerns?"
"Just read it, bro," Rob said with a laugh, "You'll get what I mean. For now, let's watch my match with Lance Storm comin' up."
ҖECWҖ
Xander smiled to himself as he got off the phone. He had booked a table for two at an expensive Italian restaurant, recommended to him by Rob. It would cost him at least half a paycheck, but it was worth it. Faith was worth it.
"Hey, Xander," he turned around as Paul E came up behind him, a wild look in his eyes, "Listen, I know you were gonna face Awesome tonight, but he got caught up in the snowstorm and he won't be able to make it. So, instead, I'm booking you to face Super Crazy…and it's for your title."
Xander nodded, accepting it as he did so. He wasn't afraid to defend his titles on any occasion. Plus, Super Crazy was a luchadore from Mexico with a reputation to match his ring name. He truly did some insane things in the ring.
"Cool," Paul said with a grin, "Also, we've finally gotten you a new theme. It's another Van Halen song, but it works better for you, and it's slightly cheaper. I think you'll like it."
"Groovy," Xander remarked, having already heard the theme earlier and finding it agreeable.
"Also, check it," Paul said, presenting him with a t-shirt, "Your very own marketable t-shirt!"
Xander unfolded it and held it up to look at it. It was a rip-off of the Army of Darkness box cover, with him standing in Ash's pose, with Faith in the pose of the girl with her hand wrapped around his leg. He was standing in an angled ring to match the poster, with a fake crowd in the background. At the bottom of the shirt, trying to reach up to him, were several wrestlers like Sabu, Taz, Jerry Lyn, Shane Douglas, and a few generic ones that he couldn't make out. He was holding a title belt, but it was generic and indefinable, but he was holding it straight out…sorta, like the chainsaw would be in the original cover. In the upper-right hand corner was an ECW banner. At the bottom of it was Xander Harris in the same font as the Army of Darkness was in the cover. Smiling, he turned it around, and there was a picture of him doing his signature pose with the phrase Hail to the King, Baby surrounding him.
"This is kickass, Paul," Xander said with a smile, taking out a knife as he did so and cutting a few slices into it so it would expose his body. He looked up at Paul's odd look and said, "All my shirts have rips in 'em."
"True," Paul said, shaking it off, "Ok, Jono and Faith've got them, and Faith's shirt is almost done. Now, you're on!"
ҖECWҖ
Mas Loco by The Slashtones came on, and the fans in Battle Creek, Michigan lit up as Super Crazy came out.
SU-PER CRA-ZY!! SU-PER CRA-ZY!!
Super Crazy was dressed in his usual singlet, which covered his entire body save his arms and head. On his back, Raza Azteca was written in green letters, while a purple ECW was on his lower back. He leapt into the ring as the fans ranted for him, got on the top rope, and clasped his hands together, showing respect for the fans.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer started, "The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the ECW World Television Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! He weighs in tonight at 215 pounds, hailing from Tulancingo, Hidalgo, Mexico! He is the Insane Luchadore! He is SUPER CRAZY!!"
SU-PER CRA-ZY!! SU-PER CRA-ZY!!
"Introducing next," the announcer continued, "Weighing in tonight at 242 pounds, he is the current ECW World Television Champion and the unrecognized FTW World Heavyweight Champion, hailing from la Boca del Inferno, California! He is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-man…he is XANDER HARRIS!!"
Man on a Mission by Van Halen came on, and the fans cheered less than they usually would due to the change in music. However, that changed once Xander walked out, dressed in his usual jeans and newly made ECW t-shirt, with the ECW TV Title wrapped around his waist.
HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!
E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
WE WANT THAT SHIRT!! WE WANT THAT SHIRT!!
Joey laughed and said, "Well, if you want that t-shirt, go to !"
Xander climbed into the ring and got onto the top rope, flashing his sign to the crowd as they continued to go nuts. He came down off the rope and handed his TV Title to the ref. He backed up and shook hands with Super Crazy, and the two went to separate corners of the ring. The bell rang.
Xander and Crazy circled up and Crazy went for a standing dropkick, which Xander backed away from. Crazy rolled onto his feet, facing away from Xander as he did so, and jumped onto the top rope, attempting to do a springboard moonsault, which Xander dodged once more, causing Crazy to fall on his face. Xander ran for the ropes and attempted a baseball slide dropkick, but Crazy rolled away from him, causing Xander to fall out the ring and onto the concrete. Xander landed on his feet, however, and took a moment to gain his bearings. As he did so, however, Crazy leapt onto the top rope and did another moonsault, landing hard on Xander's back as he did so, sending the two down to the floor.
FUCK HIM UP, CRA-ZY, FUCK HIM UP!!
FUCK HIM UP, X-MAN, FUCK HIM UP!!
E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
"The fans are pretty divided on who they want to win," Joey commented.
Xander got up as quickly as he could, noting that Crazy was already up on the apron, preparing to do another moonsault. Xander ran forward and kicked Crazy's ankle, bringing him down to the ground. Xander got up on the guardrail and leapt onto the apron, jumped onto the second rope, and flipped off of it, landing on Crazy in a sick springboard moonsault. Crazy, however, pushed Xander off of him as quickly as possible and got back into the ring. Xander followed him inside, barely rolling out the way as Crazy tried to baseball slide him. Xander kicked Crazy in the chest as he stopped, then came to his feet and did a springboard legdrop, planting Crazy into the mat. He dragged him away from the ropes and covered him.
ONE…-
Crazy easily kicked out, and pushed Xander off of him. Crazy flipped himself to his feet, earning a round of applause from the fans. Xander flipped himself to his feet, earning another round of applause from the fans. Crazy, smiling at him, leapt onto the top rope and did a moonsault, landing on his feet and stopping, bowing down as he did so, earning more applause from the fans. Xander smiled at him and leapt onto the top rope and did a corkscrew moonsault, landing perfectly and bowed, earning himself more applause.
"Oh, come on," Joey shouted, "We're supposed to be having a wrestling match, not seeing who can outdo the other!"
Xander and Crazy did this a few more times, each time upping both elevation and moves. The fans were on their feet as Crazy jumped into the air, flipping himself in a rotation till he landed on the mat, balancing himself perfectly after having done a 900 degree rotation in midair and landing with ease.
SU-PER CRA-ZY!! SU-PER CRA-ZY!!
Xander, not to be outdone, leapt onto the top rope and walked to the middle of it, balancing himself easily. He raised one leg and kept himself balanced, then leapt off the rope with his one leg and flipped himself 10 times in midair, landing on the concrete in a perfect maneuver.
XAN-DER HAR-RIS!! XAN-DER HAR-RIS!!
Xander bowed a few times, reveling in the crowd's response. However, by doing so, he gave Super Crazy the perfect opportunity, and the luchadore took it, leaping off the top rope and driving an elbow into the back of his head, bringing the two down to the concrete.
YOU FUCKED UP!! YOU FUCKED UP!!
"These ECW fans are reminding Xander that you can't take your eyes off your opponent, no matter what," Joey said.
Crazy pulled Xander into the ring, then lifted him up to his feet. He Irish whipped him into the turnbuckle, then leapt up onto the second rope, standing in front of Xander as he did so. He began to punch him, and the fans counted down the punches!
UNO!! DOS!! TRES!! CUATRO!! CINCO!! SEIS!! SIETE!! OCHO!! NUEVE!! DIEZ!!
Crazy got off the second rope, and Xander came out of it like a bull, spearing Crazy to the ground. Xander flipped him over, and applied his single-leg Californian crab to him, causing Crazy to writhe in pain as he tried to get to the ropes. Instead, Crazy kicked Xander in the back of his head, sending him down to the mat. Crazy got to his feet, gingerly testing out his leg as he got the blood flow going, and quickly went down to the ground. He got a chair and climbed back into the ring and, as Xander stood, Crazy swung the chair at him. Xander, however, managed to duck down and got back-to-back with him, grabbed Crazy by his neck, and sat down, bringing Crazy to the mat in a neckbreaker.
Xander leapt up and did a springboard legdrop, then pulled Crazy away from the ropes and lifted him up. He Irish whipped him into the ropes and tried to catch him in a DDT, but Crazy shoulderblocked him, then leapt onto the ropes and landed on Xander in a springboard crossbody!
UNO…DOS-
Xander kicked out and tried to grab Crazy's head, but Crazy punched him, sending him back down to the mat. Crazy dragged him over to the turnbuckle, then leapt onto the bottom rope and did a moonsault onto him. Crazy got up and leapt onto the second rope, doing another moonsault onto him.
"Crazy's going for the Trifecta," Joey said, "Can he pull it off?"
Crazy leapt off the top rope, rotating in the air as he did so. Xander, however, leapt up and climbed onto the top rope, and as Crazy redirected his turn to land on his feet, Xander leapt off the drop and missile dropkicked Crazy, sending him rolling down onto the mat and into the ropes. Xander retrieved the chair and whacked Crazy in the head with it, then dragged Crazy into the center of the ring and placed the chair onto his body. Xander ran to the ropes and leapt onto them, jumping off in a corkscrew moonsault, landing perfectly on Crazy and driving the chair into his body. Xander tossed the chair off him and covered him.
ONE…TWO…THR-
Crazy kicked out. Xander sighed and picked up the chair again, pelting Crazy in the head with it to keep him down. Xander climbed down to the ground and reached underneath the ring, pulling out a table as he did so. He tossed it into the ring and got back inside, dodging Crazy's dropkick as he did so. Once Crazy got back to his feet, Xander kicked him in the abdomen then DDT-ed him to the ground. He went over to the table and placed it on the bottom rope, leaving it slightly elevated on one side. He dragged Crazy over to it, hitting him with the chair again as he did so, then left the ring. He went underneath the ring and pulled out a ladder, gaining applause from the fans as he did so. He tossed the ladder into the ring and set it up, then flashed the X symbol.
"SHOP SMART," Xander shouted.
SHOP S-MART!!
Xander climbed the ladder, preparing to end the match as he did so, but Crazy leapt up and climbed the other side of the ladder as he did so. Crazy and Xander engaged in a mini-fist fight at the top, with both men trying to knock the other down. Eventually, Crazy grabbed ahold of one of the steps and pressed back, sending his legs into the air. He drove them down and kicked through the empty spaces between the steps, kicking Xander in his chest and sending him to the ground.
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
Crazy ascended to the top of the ladder and raised his hands up to the fans, then leapt off the top of the ladder in a moonsault…Xander, however, moved out of the way, causing Crazy to hit the concrete full-force!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! CALL THE MORGUE!! CALL THE MORGUE!! CALL THE MORGUE!!
"I kinda agree with what the fans are saying," Joey said, "But, I'm hoping we just need an ambulance!"
Crazy, however, got back to his feet after a few moments, earning a loud burst of applause from the fans. Xander, seeing that his opponent was alright (for the most part), Irish whipped him into the ring, then placed him on the table. Xander climbed the ladder and got on top of it. He judged the angle for what he was about to do, then turned around so that he was facing away from Crazy. He leapt off the ladder, rotating in the air in a corkscrew moonsault, landing on Crazy and sending him through the table in a devastating maneuver!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!
E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
Xander covered him.
ONE…TWO…THREE!!
Xander got off of Crazy as the announcer called out his victory. Crazy slowly sat up, shaking his head to clear it as he did so. Crazy looked around for a moment before facing Xander and saying something in Spanish that Xander didn't understand, though he did catch 'match.'
"…Yeah, it was a Hell of a match," Xander said, guessing that was what he said.
Crazy said a few more things before extending his hand to Xander, and Xander took it, saying, "Right back at ya."
Crazy stood up and raised Xander's hand, then left the ring, letting Xander celebrate his win as Man on a Mission came on.
