A/N: Another one-shot for y'all. I apologize for the lack of updates to FOW, but these ideas are just coming to be one after another and I can't ignore them. haha. This is from chapter 2 when Laurie mentioned Derek missing a banquet where Addison was presented with a prestigious award for an experimental surgery. Please ignore this boring summary though because the actual story is so much more meaningful to the Addek marriage. Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Absence
Lauren's POV
I feel awkward as I stare at myself in the body-length mirror on the inside of my closet door. First of all, what is that mirror even doing in here? And second, dresses are most definitely not my thing. I'm a soccer player, and that basically means all I ever do is exercise. Unfortunately, that also means that I have absolutely no body fat, and no curves whatsoever. However, it also doesn't help that my parents passed down the tall gene, so here I am at 5'10" and only 135 pounds.
I'll say it again. Dresses look hideous on me.
This particular one, however, I have no chance of getting out of, in more ways than one. Tonight is the Mt. Sinai hospital banquet at the Four Seasons where my mother will be presented with some prestigious award she won for performing an experimental surgery successfully on conjoined twins in the womb. It's black tie, and a very fancy affair to say the least. Luckily, the event is also plus-one, so Mom said it was okay for me to bring Logan, my boyfriend for the past six months, and friend for much longer. At least this way he gets to suffer with me.
I pick at the fabric of the one-shouldered, floor-length lavender dress. A Badgley Mischka, it has sequins along the shoulder and around the chest, and hugs the waist rather tightly, again showing off my lack of curves. I remember going with Mom to pick it out.
"Mom, this is for an event with the people you work with. You see them every day. Why are you acting like we're going shopping for the Oscars?"
"Because it's black tie. And besides, who doesn't like to get all glammed-up every once in a while?"
"Um, me," I tell her as she pokes through a rack of evening gowns at Saks.
"Laurie, please. I'm only doing this because I know if I didn't bring you here, you would show up wearing jeans and a t-shirt."
"Yeah, that's because I look hideous in dresses," I say as I run my hand over a silky green one.
"Honey, you couldn't look hideous if you tried. Here, go try this one on." She hands me the one-shouldered lavender one.
"Fine," I sigh.
"Oh, prom dress shopping with you is going to be so much fun," Mom smirks.
"Ha, don't even think about it," I give her a look before closing the dressing room door. Here goes nothing.
Still standing in front of my full-body mirror, I run a hand over the ringlets in my hair. My best friend Hannah had come over this afternoon and helped me put in the curlers. Needless to say, after she was finished the both of us could not stop laughing at my appearance for a solid half-hour; the two of us are both notorious for being tom-boys and therefore not doing shit like this to our hair.
"Well, this is as good as it's gonna get," I tell my reflection, as my Blue October CD plays in the background. Putting on one last coat of red lipstick, I hear my phone buzz on my nightstand.
"Hello?"
"Hey babe." It's Logan. "You almost ready?"
"Yeah, just finished getting dressed. You almost here?" He and Dad are both supposed to meet me at the house so we could go to the event together. We agreed to meet up with Mom there, since she has to go early to practice her speech.
"Gimme about ten more minutes, traffic is a bitch tonight. Is your Dad there yet?"
"No," I sigh. "But he should be. I think I'm gonna call him after we hang up. If he misses this thing tonight, my mom will kill him. No joke."
"Seriously, I would not want to get on the wrong side of that woman. You redheads are so feisty." Logan says, and I laugh.
"Feisty or not, just wait until you see me in this stupid dress, I look ridiculous."
"No way, babe. You look hot in anything, trust me." I can practically hear him wink.
"Well you're delusional, but I'll see you in about ten minutes."
"Stay classy, Laur."
"You know it."
We hang up, and, slipping into my obnoxiously high cream-colored heels and putting on my coat, I head downstairs and dial Dad's cell.
"Hello?" He answers in a harried voice, like he's in a hurry to get somewhere.
"Dad! Where are you? We're supposed to leave in like fifteen minutes and you're not even home yet."
"Oh hey, Laurie. I'm uh, I'm actually not going to be able to make it tonight."
"WHAT?!" I practically shout at him. "Mom's been practicing this speech for weeks, and you said you'd be there. She needs you to be there."
"I know, I know sweetheart, but I just had this trauma patient come in…part of the left side of the skull is bashed in…it's not good."
Normally this kind of thing would interest me, but now I am just angered. How could he back out of this?
"Anyway, tell your mother I'm sorry for me, okay? But I have to get going now, I'm supposed to be in surgery in five. Have fun tonight, love you!"
"Wait, Dad-"
But before I can finish, he's hung up. I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling, letting out an annoyed sigh. So not only is Dad backing out of probably one of the most important events of Mom's career, but he's putting it on me to tell her? Oy. I can already tell this is not going to be a fun evening.
Moments later the doorbell rings and Logan greets me with a kiss on the lips.
"What did I tell you? Beautiful as always," he twirls me as I blush.
"Well you're not so bad yourself," I straighten his tie, which matches the lavender of my dress.
"So where's the male Dr. Shepherd?" He asks me.
"He bailed."
"Seriously? Does your mom know?"
"That would be a nugatory, captain," I sigh. "I just called him. He said some big surgery came up with a trauma patient and he can't leave. So it's up to me to tell her he won't be there."
"Oh man…" Logan rubs his forehead.
"Tell me about it," I nod. "But we should probably get going. Are you okay with driving?"
"No problem Laur," he holds out his hand to me. "Just because your dad's missing out doesn't mean we have to." I grab my purse and we head out the door into the September evening.
"Well if it isn't the gorgeous Laurie," my Uncle Mark comes up to me as Logan and I enter the conference and events ballroom at the Four Seasons Hotel.
"Hey Uncle Mark," I smile, hugging him as he kisses my cheek. "And not gorgeous, just uncomfortable. How women can dress like this more than once every ten years is beyond me."
He chuckles. "One day Laurie you will learn that sometimes the more uncomfortable, the better," he says as he eyes a big-busted blonde who just walked by. I roll my eyes. "And Logan, how's it going, man? Still treating my favorite niece right, I expect?" He gives Logan a hard stare.
"Of course, sir," he shakes Mark's hand. "My girl here deserves the best." He kisses the side of my head as we walk to our table.
"Where's Mom?" I ask Uncle Mark. So far, my mother is nowhere to be seen in here.
"Oh she's probably in the ladies room, trying not to have a panic attack. Probably best to let her be for now. Is Derek here?"
I sigh, and give Uncle Mark a look as I take off my coat and we sit down, a look that he can read almost immediately.
"Oh," he says.
"Yeah, and it's my job to tell Mom."
"Oh man, I'm sorry kiddo. If you want, I can always-"
"No, no. They're my parents, and this could very easily turn into my mess too, so I should deal with it. But thanks," I give him a small smile.
"I'm here for you, kid," Mark squeezes my hand. It's times like this where I'm especially thankful for him.
"So, how's school going?"
"Kind of stressful right now, with starting AP classes, soccer, and then studying for my driver's test in three months, but it's good. I like being busy," I tell him.
"Super Woman, as usual," he laughs.
A few minutes later Uncle Mark and Logan are in deep conversation about the Yankees when I notice Mom walking towards us from the entryway. Locking eyes with her, she gives me a smile. I stand up to greet her.
"Hey you," she pulls me into a hug. "Oh honey, you look so beautiful," she runs a hand over my curls. "And I don't want to say I told you so, but…"
"You're gonna say it anyway," I finish, and she gives me a look. "But look at you, Mom," I smile, gesturing to her strapless maroon-colored evening gown. "You look amazing." Really though, she's what I wished I look like in a dress, even if she's 38 and I'm 15.
"Well thank you, baby girl," she kisses my temple before setting the note cards for her speech down at the table, her seat next to mine. I pick up a card.
"So this is the speech, huh?" I ask, the both of us still standing.
"The one and only."
"How are you feeling? No vomiting on stage, remember."
"Nope, no vomiting yet. But seriously, I'm good. I figure, if I can actually do the surgery, then I should sure as hell be able to go up there and talk about it," she says.
"Good point," I say. "And we're all proud of you no matter what," I wrap an arm around her shoulders and kiss her cheek. Anything to get her in a good mood before I have to break the unfortunate news about Dad.
"Hey, speaking of we, where's your father?"
Crap, that came sooner than I expected. Mom moves to sit down, smiling at Logan and Uncle Mark.
"Umm, Mom, maybe we should go…get some iced tea or something," I point toward the long table of beverages against the wall.
"Oh, no honey I'm fine. I really don't want to-"
"Mom, please. It looks good and I'm really thirsty," I'm really hoping she gets the hint.
"Okayy then…" She stands back up and we walk over.
"So you and I both know this isn't about the iced tea," Mom says as we walk over to the long table. "Anything you wanna share with the class, Laurie?"
"Umm, yeah," I bite my lower lip. "It's about Dad."
"Oh yeah, where is he?"
"He's um…well I called him a little earlier because he was late getting home and he said…Mom he's not coming." I feel like my words are cutting her like knives and I hate it.
Her eyes immediately well up, her mouth opening and lower lip trembling slightly, but she composes herself quickly. She always tries her hardest not to cry in front of me.
"What um, what did he say?" She clears her throat.
"He was still at the hospital when I called, and he said something about a trauma patient with part of his scull bashed in. He was going into surgery right away," I say quietly. "Mom, I'm so sorry…"
"No, no it's fine," she clears her throat again and forces a smile. "We're just gonna, we're gonna get through this evening, and I'm gonna do my speech, and we're all gonna be fine."
"Mom…" I give her a sympathetic look and place a hand on her arm. I wish she would just let herself cry.
"Laurie, I am fine," she turns and walks back toward our table. "I'm just gonna read over my cards one more time. I'm fine, I'm fine."
Her voice quiets to a whisper as she repeats to herself how fine she is, even though the both of us know she's lying.
"Addison, I am too tired to deal with this right now!" Dad shouts from his and Mom's bedroom down the hall.
He just got home about ten minutes ago and that fight I had been expecting to happen between him and Mom about tonight's banquet is currently in full throttle. I lay in my bed facing away from the door with my headphones in, trying to block them out, but it's not working. Tears trickle down my face almost involuntarily as I hear the two people I love the most throw so much anger at one another. I cuddle Winston, my teddy bear since I was three, close.
"You didn't even bother to call me tonight to tell me that you weren't going to be at the banquet! The banquet that I had been preparing for for WEEKS and that you SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE AT!" Mom's crying.
"So what do you want me to do?! Leave someone to die just because you have another function to go to?"
But this wasn't just any function.
"This wasn't just any 'function!' And someone else could have done that surgery! You're not God, Derek!"
"Addie, I said I was sorry, what else do you want from me?" Dad's voice is getting tired.
"I want you to care! Your daughter wanted you there tonight too, you know."
Oh Mom, please don't involve me in this.
"God, would you please not involve Laurie in this? This conversation is over, Addison.
"Fine, then you can sleep in the guest room tonight!"
"You know what, fine. If you're going to act like this, then…fine. Goodnight." I hear a door slam.
By this point I'm sitting up in bed, unable to sleep. But I have a feeling I won't be the only one not sleeping well tonight. I stand up and pace for a few minutes, eventually picking up my picture of Rinny that I keep on my nightstand. It's of her on our sixth birthday, and she's grinning at the camera with both of her top front teeth missing - one of my favorite photos of her that I'm sure, were she still alive today, we would be making fun of together.
"What are we gonna do with them, Rin?" I ask her picture.
I really don't want to involve myself in this, but at the same time I can't just sit in here and pretend like nothing is wrong. Quietly, I peek my head out my bedroom door. The door to the guest room is shut – Dad must have slammed it – and the door to my parents' room is cracked.
I set down Rinny's picture and walk down the hall to the guest room, knocking lightly.
"I'm not in the mood, Addison," Dad calls from inside.
"It's me," I say quietly.
A moment later, Dad opens the door, looking tired.
"Daddy, what is going on with you?" I immediately ask him the question that's been burning in my brain. "Why couldn't someone else have done that surgery?"
"Honey, it's complicated…"
"Well it can't be that complicated, seeing how there are at least a dozen other neurosurgeons who have privileges at your hospital."
"Laurie, this is just the way things worked out tonight. I wish I could change it, but I can't. The hospital needed me tonight, and I had to be there, despite what you or your mother might think. I can't just back out of my job when there's a patient who needs me, especially if I want to be promoted to Chief of Surgery by the end of the year," he runs a hand through his hair, sitting on the bed.
"But what about when Mom needs you?" I whisper. "Dad, I can deal with you missing my soccer games to save someone's life, but you're her husband and she needed you for moral support. And not that you asked, but she rocked that speech tonight."
"Alright Laurie, that's enough. This isn't any of your concern anymore, this is between your mother and me."
"Fine," I say, giving in. "But next time, don't ask me to tell Mom you can't make it to something. Call her yourself."
"I know. I'm sorry for asking you to do that, honey," he looks at his hands.
"It's okay," I walk over and sit next to him, pulling my knees to my chest. "You were in a hurry, I know. I just wish you would have been there with us tonight. Logan matched his tie with my dress and everything," I give Dad a small smile.
"I knew he had to be good for something," he jokes, and I bump my shoulder against his, before leaning my head against him.
"I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, Buddy. Now go get some sleep," he kisses my temple.
As I leave the guest room and shut the door behind me, I still feel unsatisfied with this evening. Dad still did wrong, Mom is still upset, and there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it. I very quietly open the door to my parents' bedroom. The light is off and Mom is lying down faced away from the door. If she's not already asleep, she's pretending. Looking at her makes my chest ache.
Taking a deep breath, I walk over to her. Kneeling beside her, I notice her eyes are closed. I pull the blanket up to her shoulders and she stirs slightly, mumbling something.
"I'm so sorry, Mommy," I whisper as I tuck her hair behind her ear and rub the back of my hand along her soft cheek. Even though she's sleeping, her eyes are still puffy. I hate seeing her in pain.
"I'm so sorry I can't fix this for you."
I hope you liked. Review please :)
