Disclaimer: All characters belong to Yumi Hotta + Takeshi Obata. Except for Kenji who you'll see here. And Matsuno who comes later.
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire series
eternity
by The Honorable Arik Novak
Ch 3: Death Hath No Power for the While
I do believe something mote be done about this new Sai."
"If thou truly knowst so, I shall do whatever to help thee. I live only for the continuation of the Japanese Empire. I shall not have an outsider ruining that for which the Court stands!"
"I want Fujiwara-sensei to be back," Kenji complained loudly. It was night once again, and he was crouching behind a short fence, staring at the moonlit water. The koi pond was always a nice place to just sit and talk—and play Go. Kenji had convinced Hikaru to bring out Sai's goban despite its weight and value. Sai might kill him when he got back, but seeing Kenji's face light up in happiness was worth it.
Hikaru huffed sharply and playfully shoved his student hard, though not hard enough to propel him into the water. "What, you don't like me, punk?"
Kenji stuck his tongue out. "Thou wouldst think a teacher would be more mature than thee," he retorted instantly. Hikaru did not really know what to say, since he knew he acted immature sometimes and was not sorry about it. He saw no problem with it. After all, his teacher had been childish as well.
"You can judge me when you've beat me," he simply replied. It was the decisive closing to many arguments and usually spurred his student to try harder.
But this time, the boy seemed to deflate. "Thou knowst what I was thinking the other day?" he changed the subject.
"I'm not a mind-reader," his teacher answered, playing a stone and capturing four black stones in return.
The boy glared at the goban, as if he were trying to scare it into revealing its secrets. "I want to go abroad someday. Like Fujiwara-sensei and Shimamura-sensei. I want to go to the Mainland—maybe Pekin or Kanton." Kenji placed a stone elsewhere, an attempt to attack another group. They were already in yose, and neither man could see a way for Kenji to win.
"The Mainland, huh? My…rival had a student from there. The kid actually wanted me to be his teacher, but I already had a student to whom I was dedicating most of my time. You'd like him—you guys actually kind of look alike," Hikaru said thoughtfully. It would've been cool if Kenji was Rui's great grandfather or something, but that would be a crazy coincidence. He placed an answering move, effectively preventing Kenji from encroaching on his territory.
"Thy rival?" Kenji asked, ignoring anything about the student.
Ka-chi A persistent attack upon Hikaru's shape.
Hikaru sighed. A dreamy faraway look plagued his features, and Kenji could see the pain that such a question elicited. "We were supposed to reach the Hand of God together. He…left. And I left."
Ka-chi A solid defense.
Kenji refrained from speaking until he had his thoughts together and then just looked at his teacher. "But he's just a rival. Like thou art my rival, like Fujiwara-sensei, like Tomochika-chan," he said, referring to female friend of his who lived down his street. As far as Hikaru knew, they were casual players with a relationship much like the Go relationship between Akari and Akira. They might have been a couple, but Hikaru knew that with Go, they only played for fun and teaching games.
He shook his head. "That's not the kind of rivalry I'm talking about. The way you think, anyone you play against and wish to beat is your rival." The boy placed another stone, Ka-chi, and nodded. Hikaru remembered that this was the opinion of many when he and Akira first proclaimed themselves rivals. Many other professionals thought that the young upstart was just calling Akira his rival because he wanted merely to beat the famous pro. None really knew the true depth of the rivalry—no one had, save Sai. It was like Sai knew instantly that he and Akira were destined to be constant rivals.
"Rivalry is something eternal," he started. Another white stone, Ka-chi, and a black stone was captured. It was hard to describe the rivalry between him and Akira without sounding…sappy. "A rival is the one person whom you strive to beat, to improve with—the person who walks the journey with you as you both get closer to the Hand of God…there is a special relationship, because he is not just an opponent and not just a friend. He is the most important person, sometimes even more important than your own family. He is the one who knows you best, can identify your Go from a few moves, and spurs you, incites passion—"
Ka-chi A continuing attack...
"Sounds like thou art in love," Kenji interrupted, wrinkling his nose in childish distaste. Hikaru rolled his eyes. Of course his student wouldn't understand. Even in his own time, people hadn't understood the complicated rivalry between him and Akira. Then, Kenji adopted a thoughtful look. "So thou playest against him to get better, and he doth the same. Ye are both getting better at the same rate. One person wins, then the other wins…"
Hikaru thought about it. "That seems close enough." He placed another stone, Ka-Chi, and captured a stone on the edge of the board.
"Sounds like that thing Fujiwara-sensei was teaching me about—this situation—Ko," Kenji simplified the thought. Kenji held a black stone between his two fingers, unsure of what to do with it. "I want to take that stone…but I can't, can I?" Hikaru had to pause then. Was his rivalry really like Ko?
"Not exactly," Hikaru decided. No, his rivalry wasn't quite like Ko. Kenji placed the white stone elsewhere, effectively threatening another of Hikaru's groups. The boy probably had no idea that Hikaru was referring to his earlier statement, and not whether he could take Hikaru's stone.
"But he never got around to explaining it completely," the boy admitted, probably trying to give a reason for his misled idea.
Hikaru decided to defend his group instead of filling in the empty space that could have ended a potential Ko battle. He tried to find the right words, to explain why the analogy didn't work, and why Ko couldn't capture that particular stone. It wasn't nearly as hard as it had been to describe rivalry. This was a Go term, not a term of the heart. "Ko means eternity. Now here, black is in atari, and as soon as white takes the stone, white is in atari. Then black can take the stone, and then black is in atari again. And it repeats. So a Ko rule was instituted, and you seem to be following it well, because it would be pointless to keep going back to the same shape. That is why there must be another move before one can do anything with Ko."
Kenji paused and seemed to think to himself. He captured Hikaru's stone, encouraging the Ko battle. "It sounds endless, but in a fruitless kind of way. No point. Like an endless time loop where naught gets done." A few more moves, and Hikaru had another chance to keep the Ko battle going by defending another group. It wasn't so important to the game, so he just decided to end it and filled in the empty space.
Ka-chi
"I resign."
Hikaru nodded and smiled at his student's understanding: in his understanding of when to resign and his understanding of Ko. "Kind of. Which is why there is a rule against monotonous play like that. And why rivalry isn't really like Ko; although it isn't quite as pointless as you're making it sound, playing elsewhere does do some good, but that other action isn't for the sake of that 'good'—it is for the sake of the battle. Maybe there is credence to your comparison. Ko's purpose is to win the battle, however either player can choose to stop it if he wishes—but if he does, he risks losing a more important group. There is a purpose to rivalry: to grow, to become better, to reach the Hand of God."
Kenji counted the stones. He lost by more than ten moku. Frustrated, he asked, "Then what happens when ye do?"
Hikaru wasn't sure.
"Only one instructor is needed," the other teacher sneered, holding a sleeve to his face, "Why do we not play, and the winner can remain?"
"What?" he almost shouted, forgetting royal etiquette.
Someone, a man whom Hikaru knew was on the teacher's side, said, "Wherefore doth he even play Go? Sure the man seems good, but is there need for two teachers?" People started murmuring and Hikaru grew nervous. He heard things like, "Wherefore is he here?" and "Perhaps he just wants to be close to the emperor?" and "The Fujiwara clan hath always clung to power."
Blind accusations were thrown at him, and Hikaru didn't know what to do.
Hikaru froze. This couldn't be right! The real Sai was supposed to play this game! "I—I," he had no idea what to say. He had never played this man, the other teacher. He had no idea whether the other man was better or worse than him, and he did not want to risk Sai's position. Moreover, if he was found out, what would happen?
"Tell me thy decision tomorrow, once we have both prepared for our epic game." And that was it. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and a hard blow to Hikaru and Sai's plans.
He walked like a zombie to the wall around the palace and tried to organize his thoughts. The flowers were looking at him, asking him what he would do now. They floated down pitifully, as if trying to reach for him. He lowered himself onto a large rock and stared up at the sky, watching the petals die away. The rock, smooth to his back, felt like cool slate, a calming sensation like ice.
But didn't he know what would happen? If Hikaru hadn't shown up—if Sai had remained, he would have played this game, lost, and committed suicide. But if Hikaru played, couldn't he change history? He could find a way to rat out this man, to show how wicked he was, before Sai came back. And then Sai could play Go to his heart's content.
But then he would never know Sai. He needed Sai! "Am I that selfish?" he rebuked himself. "I caused Sai to disappear because I wouldn't let him play Go. If I postpone this game until Sai returns…history will continue as it did, and he will never reach the Divine Move. He'll end up haunting that Go board and…I can't subject him to that if I can prevent it. If I play, I can expose the guy, be the main teacher until Sai's return and I can be introduced as his cousin or something—we can live here forever!"
He slumped as his brilliant idea crumpled in his mind. "Sai…" But if he changed history, then Sai would never inhabit the goban and Sai would never meet Hikaru. But there was the possibility that Sai would still haunt the goban at the end of this life. "But that's not how it happened!" he said, frustrated.
"You okay, Shim—, er, Fujiwara-sensei?" Kenji asked, landing on the soft grass.
"Kenji-kun! The other teacher challenged me! The one who wins will remain the teacher, and the other must leave. I—I do not know if I can postpone it until Sai's return, and I can't really play such an important game for him!"
Kenji looked uncomfortable with the new complication. "This is kind of sudden, but really, thou shouldst wait for Sai to get back. Unless thou knowest that thou can beat him, thou shouldst not put Fujiwara-sensei's position on the line. It is only a few weeks 'til his return, right?
"Hopefully," Hikaru said uneasily. Hikaru immediately composed a short letter informing Sai of the game, urging him to come home as soon as possible. He had a bit of trouble with the brush, but managed to make it legible enough for the educated man to read. He sent it off posthaste and awaited a reply.
The other teacher was growing anxious, and Hikaru could tell. He had told the man he needed to prepare…and he had been 'preparing' for a few weeks.
Weeks later, he had his answer. "Fujiwara-sensei!" Kenji's voice shout-whispered in the night.
"Is he here?" Hikaru asked, relief flooding through him.
"Nay, I was calling thee. But I do have a reply from him." Hikaru could see a faint outline of the boy as he snuck into the room. Kenji would only visit at night when no one could see him. All servants were asked to stay away from his room after nightfall for this very reason.
"What did he say?"
"Shimamura-sensei, thou knowst I cannot read."
Hikaru should've remembered that. "I'll read it to you then." He unraveled the scroll, for it had been expertly rolled and tied with string unlike his own letter. He cleared his throat and began:
"Hikaru-san and Kenji-kun, I am very well. I have met many Go players, but none hath seemed to have heard thy name, Hikaru-san. Concerning the game, Hikaru: try to hold him off as long as possible, and if he demandeth a game, thou hast my permission to go ahead and play him anyway. I trust thine abilities, Hikaru-san. Thou art an amazing player, with passion and love for the game burning in every fiber of thine existence. Thou wilt not lose. I shall try to return as soon as possible. Also, I give to thee my goban for the incredible chance thou hast given me this year. I know thou hast none of thine own, and an amazing player needeth one. It is kaya wood, hand-crafted by my grandfather. It is the least of my thanks. Concerning thine education, Kenji-kun: I hope thou hast been studying diligently with Hikaru-san. When I come back I expect thee to win against me. Or at least lose by less than five moku. Thou art also very strong, and I know thou shalt become as strong as Hikaru-san and me. Continue to learn, to grow, and someday, everyone shall speak thy name as the legendary go saint. For both of ye: good luck, and may Kami-sama be with ye."
"That is…nice," Kenji said. Hikaru only nodded. So Sai gave him his goban? That was ridiculous. Even more, Sai trusted him not to get him kicked out? He appreciated the man's vote of confidence, but it was just unrealistic. He couldn't beat Sai most of the time. How would he be against a cheating opponent who even beat Sai? Well, Hikaru would just have to show the court just what a cheat the other man was. Maybe he would be able to prevent Sai from committing suicide…if he stopped the teacher before Sai even came back. It seemed like the best plan.
"Kenji," Hikaru started hesitantly. The boy looked to him in expectation gleaming in his eyes. "I think I'll play. It seems the only way."
"Well, both Sai and I completely support thee, so good luck!"
Hikaru knew he would definitely need it.
The Throne Hall was bigger than Hikaru could have imagined. He knew, from his classes in middle school, that it was the biggest building of the entire enclosure, but wow! The room was always reserved for official functions. To think that an official function included Go…Hikaru chuckled to himself.
The game developed slowly, a boring pace that had Hikaru yawning behind Sai's fan. And yet…he still caught that cheat! He really did move that stone to the captured pile! Hikaru knew the other man was wicked, but he never really comprehended that someone could actually cheat in the honorable game. Hikaru opened his mouth, ready to show the people what a crook the teacher was "You just—!"
"An impostor of Fujiwara no Sai hath pass'd out in the garden!"
Hikaru froze. His head snapped around and looked at the servant. Sai? Was this the consequence of meddling in time? What was wrong with Sai? Thankfully, he didn't have to forfeit the game because everyone immediately abandoned it in favor of looking at the impostor in the garden.
"What is this? Such a disgraceful decoy. Probably to—hey! Everyone, look hither!" Hikaru was already by the door when his opponent shouted. What was it now? He turned around and gazed upon the extent of his opponent's corrupt ways. There, in his own go-ke, were a few stones of his opponents and between that and his captured stones, there seemed to be more upon the ground, as if someone had tried to surreptitiously move them to the captured stones.
"Thou just add'd a black stone that was in thy go-ke into thy captured ones!" his opponent accused.
"What are you saying? That's what you just did!" Hikaru shouted, pointing his fan at the other man and neglecting Sai's traditional speech.
"What a horrible lie, I saw Fujiwara no Sai cheat!" another man shouted. Hikaru knew him to be his opponent's close friend. Yet another man claimed he witnessed cheating. Now this, these additional 'witnesses,' Hikaru did not remember from Sai's version of events.
"You fiends!" Hikaru shouted. No! This was not happening! He would not have Sai banned because history decided to right itself. "You accuse me of cheating when I saw with these two eyes that you moved some of my stones into your captured ones? Ha! Sir, may I say that you are a despicable man!" What could he do? He had no evidence, there were no cameras, and wasn't this the exact same thing that Sai told him had happened?
"I am not sure…I think Fujiwara-san is telling the truth." Some people argued in favor of Hikaru, and he was glad. They said they witnessed exactly what Hikaru claimed, and many said they saw his opponent purposefully plant false evidence against him. He felt a warm sensation of justice being carried out. Yes, the cheat would be caught, Sai would not be exiled, and everything would go smoothly!
But there were people who had dragged the unconscious, real Sai from the garden to the room, intending to throw him out later after he was punished for trespassing. One servant hesitated, looking at the unconscious man. "This Sai…does he not resemble the Fujiwara no Sai we hath always known?"
"And this man," a different servant, one whom Hikaru knew cared not about Go or whether Hikaru or the other man won, said, "This man before us, hast ye not noticed that he hath started to act differently?"
Suddenly, accusations were thrown everywhere, citing instances that seemed harmless at the time, questionable differences in his changed 'character,' and events that never occurred. Even the people who had stood up against the cheaters had something to say about Fujiwara no Sai's change in personality. Hikaru tried sorting through the crimes laid against him and found himself lacking a defense.
Great. Now Sai would be banished for harboring a strange man in the palace and encouraging him to break the law. Unless… "Fine! I kidnapped your precious Sai, and I have been parading around as him for the past year!" This was it. He didn't know what else to do. Now that the real Sai was back, the difference in their appearances was obvious in the strong daylight. Nothing could acquit him. He might as well make sure Sai would not be punished for it. "I yearned to play in the capital, so when I discovered a Go teacher who looked like me, I decided I could take his place. Take him back, then!" Hikaru tried not to be too nervous as everyone levied glances against him.
"Then what is the name of this man before us?" the emperor of Japan asked coldly.
Hikaru paused. He might as well. He saved Sai, so he would never meet the ghost in the future. The name Shindo Hikaru would not be important to the man whom he had idolized for so long. Unless Hikaru made it so. "My Lords and Ladies, let it be known that I am Shindo Hikaru, of no clan or family. Know that I lived to play Go, that my purpose was only to reach the Hand of God." He knew the price of impersonating a courtier, 'kidnapping' said courtier, and trying to get as close to the emperor as he had gotten. Banishment. Or the very worst, execution. He looked down at Sai's goban, his goban, and was shocked as his tears splattered onto the wood. He chuckled to himself. At least Sai…Sai would live.
"Sh-Shindo-sensei, I shall miss thee. A lot," the boy said. Under sinking sun, his eyes were glistening , hidden behind a layer of unshed tears. "And Fujiwara-sensei shall as well. He's still recovering, and no one is to tell him what has happened. He tried so hard to get back to us and grew sick in the process. "
Hikaru looked away from his student, away from the pained expression. "Tell him…I'm sorry," he said. He pulled a ribbon from his sleeve and tied his hair in a very low ponytail. Kenji…and Toya had both made fun of his hair. He would leave the world as himself, not as this Sai. "I had fun. And maybe Kami-sama will allow me to reach the Hand of God in another life. But maybe, Kenji, you will. Centuries from now, what name will people utter when they think of the best go player ever?" Hikaru asked with a peaceful look upon his face. He smiled serenely at his young student.
The boy wiped his tears away, even as a few fell upon Sai's goban, and smiled up at his teacher. "Toya no Kenji! And yes sir, I shall be the best go player ever!"
You must fulfill your destiny. Do you wish to do so?
What is my destiny? Hikaru tried looking around, but it did not feel like he had a body. Then he remembered. He was dead. Then...Where am I?
You are in the plane between life and the Afterlife. And one's purpose, especially yours, is not something to be casually said. Will you or will you not seek to fulfill the fate prepared for you?
I need to reach the Hand of God. Is that at least part of my destiny?
In Part.
That was good enough for Hikaru. Then let's go!
Many thanks to the reviewer of the last chapter, Barranca
