Chapter 3: An Unexpected Visitor and Revelations
Anthony DiNozzo sat on his couch nursing his second beer while watching Weekend at Bernie's in a vain attempt to lift his mood. Instead of laughing with the movie, however, an endless loop of images was playing through his mind. Jeanne's face when he told her that he was not Professor DiNardo but in fact Agent DiNozzo, the look of utter relief on Ziva's usually stoic face as he stepped off of the elevator – alive, the hurt in her eyes when she realized that he had spent months lying to and keeping secrets from her, McGee's bafflement and look of disillusionment in Tony, Gibbs' disappointment barely masked behind understanding?, the momentary look of scorn from Abby. Over and over the pictures ran through his head. In a futile attempt to throw the train from the track he took another long drag of his beer. Nope, still there. He was brought out of his dizzying thoughts by a timid, almost inaudible knock at his door. Glancing at the clock he had almost determined not to answer when he heard a second knock, this time more sure and determined.
"Do you realize its 10:30?" he called throwing the door open, but any further words stopped in their tracks at the sight before him.
Ziva David stood on his door step seemingly waging a war within herself. She struggled to hold on to her anger and bury the tears that threatened to fall; voice the shouts within her without releasing the sobs threatening to make her fall to pieces in his arms. Finally taking a deep breath she spoke, with such quiet fury that Tony secretly worried that she would kill him on the spot.
"How could you do that to me of all people Tony? How could you keep such a big part of your life from me? We are supposed to be partners Tony, friends. There is supposed to be a trust. Do you have any idea how stupid you made me look?"
"How did I make you look stupid Ziva?" Tony asked incredulously.
"I was worried about you! I was actually afraid that you were really really sick!" she said starting to lose her hold on her composure. "All I knew was that you were getting a lot of secret calls from the hospital and you kept a second phone that you always answered no matter what was going on. You would leave for hours at a time in the middle of the day, and stopped going out with the rest of us after big cases. I thought that you had developed a complication from the Y-Pestis. I even brought it up to Gibbs! God! I feel like such an idiot!" she screamed as she started hitting his chest. Somewhere in the middle of her confession however, the dam holding back the tears and sobs broke and by the end she was clutching desperately to Tony trying to catch her breath.
This broken Ziva terrified Tony more than an angry Ziva ever could. He had never seen her let go of her emotions so much before. Sure she had been upset when Roy died, but the Ziva he knew, his Ziva, was practically invincible. The sight of Ziva in so much pain stunned him, and at the realization that he was the cause, he felt a crushing weight settle in his chest. After the initial shock wore off Tony led Ziva to the couch and sat them down, cradling her to him. He softly stroked her hair and whispered soothing words in her ear as she cried herself to sleep.
Long after she had worn herself out into a sleep so deep she didn't even snore, he sat holding her close to his chest contemplating what she had revealed. He had had no idea she had been so worried about him. Yes, he knew that at one point she thought he might be sick. She had asked him about it, but he had thought that it was a passing concern that he had dispelled with his assurances that he was fine. The more he thought about her confession the worse he felt. He should have noticed that something was not right with her. He should have been able to see it. He had wanted to tell her about Jeanne, but there was no way that he could have. Was there? And why did she care so much anyway? They were friends, partners, nothing more. Right? She couldn't possibly be in love with him; that was just ridiculous. She was so far out of his league that even in his dreams she was just a fantasy.
The movie had long since ended, but Tony didn't notice. He sat watching Ziva sleep in his arms trying to figure out how in the world he could ever make all of this up to her. She was far too important to him for him not to fix this. He couldn't picture his life without her in it.
Memories of Jeanne and Ziva mixed in his head. The longer they danced around, the less Jeanne seemed to appear. More and more he would recall conversations he had shared with Ziva that were infused with deeper meaning that he had missed at the time.
"Do you ever think about soul mates?"
"They were on Decca right? Big hit mid-seventies, sort of a disco thing? Sing a few bars, I'll get it."
"You'll never get it."
"Good plan … except for one thing."
"What is that?"
"As soon as I leave they will most likely put a bullet through your head."
"Why are you on top of me?"
"I'm protecting you."
"Well, that depends. What's in it for me?"
"Anything you want."
"I think McGee's right … It takes almost all of my will power to resist the urges I have when I'm around you, Tony."
And that was when it hit him, he was in love with Ziva David. Looking back at the woman in his arms he promised himself that he would make everything alright. Then he turned off the T.V. and gathering the sleeping woman in his arms, made his way to bed. Tony smiled as he lay next to Ziva in his bed. His last coherent thought before drifting off was that if he could fix everything, he wouldn't waste his time hiding anymore. He would tell Miss Ziva David that he had fallen head over heels in love with her.
