Eve gazed out the window at the broken down highway behind us. The road was mostly empty. I shifted the wheel to the left as a knot of crashed and abandoned vehicles cropped up. They came up every few miles, twisted metal and detached plates making getting through a challenge. The car squeezed between a tilted town bus and smashed in Toyota, the smell of spilled gas permeating the car. There was a cracking sound as the rear view mirror fell of the Toyota, joining a ripped open car seat and the contents of a purse on the asphalt. A walker bumbled across our path. I sent it spilling backwards with the front edge of the car as it rolled back to speed once more, leaving the Infected lost in the tail lights.

Eve spun the band around her finger, saying nothing. Part of me wanted to break the terse silence, the other part was indifferent to the wall and took almost a pleasure in it. I'd managed to put up that wall after all. Maybe she would fucking learn now. But I didn't know that she was rethinking her tango with the walker. It was more likely she was replaying our fight, reconsidering Vynn's offer to her. She was the sort to be stuck on regret instead of pushing past it to learn something new. It was frustrating all over again. I flicked on the radio, switching to the message which still breathed clearly into the car's speakers. Westerrose.

I shut it back off, satisfied with the repeat, flexing my fingers in my gloves on the wheel. The highway was wide open, dusted white with falling flurries. It was still cold in the car. I didn't want to use too much fuel with the heat, but it looked like the snow was picking up.

"Grab something out of my pack," I said, not looking up from the road. She shot me a look but twisted in her seat to rummage through the contents, coming up with a can. "Something I can eat with one hand."

"Sip it," she suggested, popping the tap and balancing it on the cup holder. It was bottom heavy and almost fell, I threw out a hand to catch it. The passive aggression was not lost on me. She'd come pretty close to hitting me back there. I'd wanted to reach out and shake her, walking away when the urge became so powerful I could feel my fingers twitching.

She looked satisfied with her power play. I wanted to pour the soup on her, instead sipping lukewarm chicken noodle broth through the partially peeled opening in the lid.

Our exchange was followed by the terse quiet, as if it had never left. The quiet was interrupted by a sudden popping noise, the car shifting with the sudden change in weight distribution. "Was that the wheel?" Eve asked.

"Do I look like I fucking know?" I propelled the car further, as if I could outrun the budding problem, and the three approaching Infected. I brought the car to a stop as it started to slink dramatically to the left-side, grabbing Eve's bat to head off the walkers that were coming up in the side-mirrors. She pulled the bat back.

"I can do it," she said.

"You can't even handle one."

"Then I guess I'll die." She tugged the bat back, moving out her passenger side door. I readied my new hunting knife, moving outside the car feeling a flash of nervousness. The zombies were approaching in near tandem, it would be tricky and I had to keep an eye on her. It would definitely take her more than a solitary swing with the bat to bring them down.

"Just go back in the car," I told her, my pulse picking up. "I'll handle it."

She didn't move, steadying the bat in her hands. This was pointless, stupid, and there wasn't time to argue it. "Aim with the impact of the upper middle half. See that making contact with the center of its head. If it's stunned, move for the next one."

She nodded, placating me. I wasn't sure she was even listening.

The walkers converged, an awkward family unit spanning three different races and statures. One was male, Hispanic, his eye hanging from his socket like a bulb of garlic. The other was a black woman, the entry wound at her hip practically leaving her doubled over as she moved. The third was a Chinese woman, her hand tangled in a bear trap, a blossom of blood at her stomach.

I went for the male, bringing the dagger down at his forehead, stepping back and pulling him with me to avoid the ambling Asian woman. Eve brought back her bat, stunning the nearly-crawling woman, who skated to the ground. She brought back her bat again as the dark woman dove for her, hitting hard but losing momentum as she pushed upward. I moved forward, interrupting the woman's head. Eve's feet narrowly skated away from the sweeping growling arc of the woman now crawling along the ground. She brought down the bat with a heavy smash, the woman I had stabbed toppling as the one on the floor finally stilled.

"Keep watch," I told her, moving to inspect the car.

"Are you sure I can handle that?" Her expression was torn between mock surprise and irritation. I ignored her, turning to the front left wheel of the car. Enough air had escaped to leave it as flat as a pancake. I licked my lips, eying the underbelly of the car. I moved to the driver-side door, pulling the release valve for the trunk which opened with a soft pop. Eve was scanning the landscape at our back, I cast a look out in front of us. There were several zombies ambling forward, far away enough to not yet be a threat but they would be soon. The nearest male was large, even for me.

"Can you change a tire?" I turned to look at her.

"No," she said. "Never done it before."

I tried not to get mad. This was going to be tricky. I pulled the jack from the car, wedging it beneath the car and kneeling as I began to crank it. "Keep an eye on him," I told her. "He gets closer, tell me and I'll handle it. I can't have you fucking up."

"It's okay, I'll die really loudly so you can save your own neck."

"Stop being a cunt."

She opened her mouth as if she was going to respond and thought better of it turning to survey the approaching walkers, glancing occasionally to her back. Eve was in a mood I had seen her in before, and I could feel that wall was not just a shield but a sound barrier too. "I'm bigger than you, it'll be easier for me, just tell me when he's closer."

"Yup," she said. I reached for the cross wrench, removing it from the trunk to snap on the hub cap and twisting, it stuck fast and I grit my teeth pulling into my arm with the motion. Eve moved past me, readying her bat. I threw out an arm to push her back, pulling the bat from her hand by the top and approaching the walker that was coming up on us first. He moved with a cave man like gate, groaning with his every step as if devastated with exhaustion. He was taller than even me, hovering above six foot four. Eve would have looked like a kid with a toothpick swinging at him, and it took four large blows to even sway him off his feet enough to angle my hunting knife into his head. Coming right up after him were two females, moving in tandem. I could hear the whirling of the crank on the hub cap as I swung the bat, fracturing two more skulls.

"Not all the way," I stopped her hand on the wrench. "You do it manually from here." I tried to keep steady, but I could hear more of them come. Lumbering feet, ceaseless undead wailing. I turned to pull the bolt off the rest of the way with my fingers, pulling at the deflated tire and tossing it down on the road. I dropped onto my back despite the terrible vulnerable feeling of being belly up and blind. I slipped underneath the car, working to pull free the spare tire. Eve's feet clipped nearby, I could hear the bat skating on the ground as she paced. She stopped suddenly.

"Alex.."

I moved out from underneath the car with the spare, sharing a look in her direction. My stomach sunk as I took on the visual assault of a few hundred lumbering bodies. Driving into them with the car would risk the car. Without it, we would be violently disassembled in seconds.

"Start lowering the car," I told her, popping the wheel onto the rim and draping the nut over the loose screw, twisting frantically.

"Do we have time?" She moved to the crank, whirling it in a tight circle.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Normally you would just call me retarded," she said. "The fact that you're not, tells me that this is going to be close."

"Just shut up," I told her, spinning the second nut on. If it made her feel better when I was an asshole then I could definitely do that for her. The car was barely moving downward. I pulled the crank from her hands working it down quickly. "Get in the car. I need six seconds." The heads of the first Infected were beginning to appear. Eve hesitated to move, instead lifting the old deflated tire. "What are you doing?" I was sweating profusely in the cold open wind, the muscles in my upper arm aching with exertion as I spun the crank harder.

"Thinking," she said and turned the tire on its side, arcing it like a bowling ball into the approaching walkers. They split at the middle, knocked off balance from the impact of the rim. She pulled the rifle from my bag, pointing it at the appearing front line.

"Don't you dare start firing," I told her as the wheels hit the pavement. I pulled the rifle by the nose out of her hands, the stiffness of her gestures not lost on me. "Get in the car, we're going now."

We moved back into the vehicle as the fallen zombies were crushed by the ones ambling behind them. I threw the car in reverse to move sideways across the highway, aiming for an exit. Eve and I turned to watch the hundred walkers give chase, disappearing behind us as the car gained speed on the round-about, bursting onto another stretch of open highway.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

EVE

It was quiet as the car slipped from the exit into a residential neighborhood. Night had turned the sky velvety, the streets and houses lit up by nothing but pinpricks of starlight and the glow of the moon. Alex's eyes skimmed the houses, maybe looking for somewhere to sleep or just watching for Infected. He wouldn't answer if I asked, and I was to stubborn to breach the immaculate quiet. I was pointless to even try.

Alex pulled the car into someone's yard, stepping out only to unlatch the gate as I sat up straight, watching our sides. Nothing followed us and he returned to the car, cutting the engine near their back porch. It felt open and exposed even on the dead end street, shadowed by the naked elm trees.

I slipped from the car to close the gate behind us, entering the tiny woods to relieve my compressed bladder. The trees seemed different, their branches looked like skinny arms in the snow. Maybe I had never paid attention before. I raked my fingers across the rough trunks, dawdling. I didn't want to go back to the car, approaching the small playground near the front of the small woods instead. I ran my fingers along the cold plastic of some child's slide, like I could draw a memory from it, or some nostalgia. It just made me feel colder inside and I knew it wasn't because of the falling temperatures, thinking back to the child Infected I had killed earlier.

Had she lived in a house like this? I looked to the cresting house. It had large open windows, encompassing complete darkness. The one at the center had been shattered, looking like a mouth with jagged teeth. I dropped into a spot on one of the swings, brushing off the snow and letting my feet pull me in a swing. The wind bit at me as I closed my eyes. I could feel Alex watching from the car, probably thinking about the stupid risks I was taking.

He said nothing about it when I moved back to the car, though I had been able to see him sitting, waiting for me to come back. He laid back down as I shut the car door behind me. "Try not to take off in a Blizzard again."

"Didn't do anything wrong this time," I replied.

"You didn't do anything wrong?" he repeated. "You almost got bitten and you didn't do anything wrong?" He was sitting up now. I had somehow restarted our earlier argument, I was beyond unwilling to do this again.

"Why don't you just lay down and go to sleep then continue being a dick in the morning?" I suggested.

"You have to know, that you did everything wrong," he drawled, his tone steady and annoyed.

"Fine," I said. "Sure, I fucked up with the walker."

"Isn't that what we're talking about?"

"I wasn't aware we were talking at all." I pulled my backpack into my lap to remove the Walkman, planning on silencing Alex completely as I slipped on the headphones and leaned back into my seat. They pulled from my ear abruptly as Alex pulled them back and I felt my fingers twitching with trapped anger, the many things ripped from my hands today coming back to bite.

"What is it I did wrong, exactly? I hurt your feelings?" he questioned, still holding to the headphones.

"Don't try to make me feel insignificant for being hurt," I snapped, jerking them back from his fingers. It was weird, arguing with him half upside-down in the dark. I turned onto my stomach so our heads were at least level.

"That's all on you, I don't need to try."

"There's a word, for people like you," I told him. "I think it's abusive."

"You wouldn't know abuse if it knocked you in the face."

"Yeah, belittle me, that's it. How about you call me a cunt some more? Don't forget to tell me how pathetic I am." My voice was rising, sounding hot and uncontrolled in the car.

"Chill," he said. "Unless you want to get yourself killed."

"By them, or you?"

Alex blinked, I guess he was surprised. "I never threatened you. Never," he said. Now his voice was rising.

"You told me you wanted to put my head through a wall," I reminded him. "Did you forget about that?"

"I never seriously threatened you," he said, with the same air of authority. I snorted, hard.

"Oh, okay. I didn't know we were playing then."

"If you think I'm threatening you, just wait until you're out there on your own. You have no idea who's out there. You have no idea what they will want to do to you."

"Is that going to happen, soon? You going to leave me out here?" I bit the inside of my lip, tasting the metal.

"No. I'm not going to leave you," he said almost carefully. "But I can't always be there, and when I'm not, you need to have your shit together."

"Where are you going?" My voice was angry, the behemoth in my chest was skittish.

"I'm not going anywhere. But I don't know what's going to happen. This is the end of the world, Eve, it's never going to work out perfectly."

"You think you'd die before me? You've said it yourself I can't shoot, I can't fight-."

"Sure, when it comes to walkers I have the upper-hand," he conceded. "You're forgetting about people."

"Why would someone kill you and not me?"

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

I hadn't really thought about it. My mental block clearing I realized what Alex was saying. "Because I'm a girl."

"There you go."

"That's great, so you have it all thought out. You're going to get murdered and I'm going to get kidnapped by rapists."

"I don't have it all thought out, Eve. I'm looking ahead, thinking logically. You can't avoid these things if you don't think about them. You need to stay a step ahead."

"Is that a step ahead of us?" I questioned. Alex's shadow was dark, but I could still make out his features, his eyes darting around in the shadows as if he were treading water.

"I don't know." Alex paused. "But you need to toughen up. If I can hurt you, think about how bad someone else can."

"I don't care what someone else has to say about me," I snapped, not realizing what I was inferring until the words had left my mouth. "I don't care what you have to say either," I added. "But. Less than, what I care about someone else saying."

"I don't even know what you're talking about," Alex muttered, finally laying back down. I doubted he had misunderstood me.

"Oh, I said the care word and he's done with the conversation," I announced to no one in particular.

"What's that mean?" He shifted so he was leaning forward, looking uncomfortably splayed across the back seat.

"You know."

"No, why don't you tell me?" he pushed.

"Remember how I said I was a Psych major, Alex? Do you remember that? You're just textbook. I can feel you pushing me away. I can feel that little wall you keep between us. As soon as you start to feel anything for me you shove it down with anger and frustration because it makes you weak. And, good for you. I'm so glad you were able to figure that out, because I sure as hell wish I had that ability, growing up or now. But I didn't, and I still don't. So I can pretend, and you can, just, whatever." I rolled onto my back, no longer willing to make eye contact. I felt kind of stupid and I wasn't sure why. I knew I wasn't wrong but if Alex insisted I was then I would feel even stupider.

"I don't do that," he said into the open air of the car. "I don't pretend."

"Sure." I pulled my headphones back over my ears, jamming the button on my Walkman. Nothing happened and I scowled, sitting up to fiddle with the batteries. They were dead. I tossed the Walkman down, the ear phones wrenching out of my ear as I did. It was all I had wanted from this miserable day and it had failed me.

In the backseat, Alex had laid back down. I wondered about what he had said, wondering what the hell he had meant. Telling me he didn't pretend meant two things, with two opposite meanings. Either he wasn't pretending, and didn't care, or he cared and wasn't acting like he wasn't. Neither of these things made me feel too great.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I woke up shivering, cold to my core. The winter sucked without a heater, without a bedroom. I was also stiff as a board, my muscles aching and tightly wound. The first light seeped in through the windshield like a sun directly in my eyes, making it impossible to sleep past six in the morning. I missed sleeping in. I missed my bed. I missed a breakfast that didn't consist of stale pretzels and acidic apple juice.

Alex was already at the drivers side, having started driving some twenty minutes before I woke up. The car was stopped in a new location, in the back lot of a medium sized store. I glanced around feeling slightly off-kilter, even as we ate a small ration of breakfasts. I couldn't figure it out from the back of the stores, four brick buildings in a variety of colors. Employee-only doors and at the way right a loading garage, sealed and frosted with snow. I swept the crumbs of a Pop-tart from my palms, breaching out quiet. "Where are we?"

"Camping store," he said, swirling mouthwash back into a cup. He smelled like methanol and mints, it didn't bide well with Cherry Poptarts and I was still hungry. "We'll replace the tent, grab some lures. Sleeping bags."

"What do we need lures for, everything's frozen?" I pulled open a small bag of pretzels, chewing as I scanned the empty parking lot.

"We should bring something to Westerrose. If not lures then some hunting traps."

"Do they have guns?" I asked, sipping from the juice box.

"If they had guns, I would have said, and grab some guns." He set the plastic cup down, passing off the Scope.

"You were doing so well." I took the scope, tipping it into my mouth. It burned, I push open the door to eject it on the asphalt.

"Don't expect my personality to change for you." He pushed open his own door, slipping his hands back into his gloves.

I stepped past the blue stain in the snow, shutting the door quietly behind me. "You're right. You're absolutely perfect the way you are."

"Shut up and focus." He moved ahead, mounting his rifle to his shoulder. I followed, holding the bat close. It was freezing with the breath of the winter, and my hands on the base felt numb and stuck to it. We crossed the small back-lot, approaching the red backdoor to the camping store.

Alex dropped to work the lock, whispering as he did. "Be ready, if the stores full I'm going to slam the door. Otherwise, we move quiet. Stealth is our approach here. This is new territory and we have to keep a low cover."

"Sure," I said.

"We're on the same page?" he inquired, glancing to me for affirmation. I shrugged and he sighed, pausing in dabbling with the lock to stand up. "What?"

"Nothing. Go ahead. Do your clicky thing."

He tongued his cheek, waiting. He seemed to know that I couldn't pause for too long without spilling, somewhere in the nine weeks we'd come to know each other a little too well. Before him, I had never spent so much time back to back with one person. I had lived with my mother growing up, but spent most of my time avoiding her. I'd seen friends at school, but besides the infrequent sleep over, we hadn't existed much in the same space. Even my one serious relationship had never turned into a move-in deal, considering I was living with my Mom at the time. It was no wonder Alex and I were driving each other nuts. "We're very different," is what I said, though I don't know what it had to do with picking the lock of the camp store, or my apprehension.

"Maybe," Alex said. I had expected him to agree full force, and looked to him with mild confusion. "Mostly."

"I don't know," is what I finally said. He sighed, bracing himself. The snow was collecting on his eyelashes, leaving soft white spots. It was strangely gentle-looking, and he just was not a gentle person. His hands were rough, his body secure and athletic. I felt like he probably never stayed in one place long before the end of the world, and the nomadic lifestyle suited him still. He probably had broken a lot of windows, a lot of doors, a lot of hearts. I didn't think he'd had many friends, either. "I talk about what I feel," I deduced. "You attack it. And I feel like, I don't know you."

"You don't know me."

"We've spent a lot of time together," I said next, fidgeting I think Alex was looking for continuity, and getting none he grew frustrated.

"What are you getting at?"

"Nothing," I rolled my eyes. "I'm just.. tired," I decided. It wasn't an actual lie. "I get so tired, trying to figure out what's going on in your head. I wish you would just, say it, ever."

"Fine." Alex shifted, leaving imprints in the snow of the blacktop. "I want you to live, that's what I want. I want you to figure out, the many many things you're doing wrong, and fucking fix them. I want you to get, how important that is, and stop making retarded decisions. And I get, that it will take time. But this learning curve is steep. And I don't know how long you can stay lucky."

"I'm not lucky," I pointed out. "You're just, there."

"I know," he said. "And I'm going to miss something, one day, and you have to be ready for it. Okay?"

Alex wanted me to live. I would have to settle for that. "Okay," I echoed.

The camping store wasn't enormous, a Mom and Pop type shop with tents on display and tackle pinned up high on the walls. It was musty and dark inside, and terribly creaky as we moved at a crouch around the outskirts of the store, only moving to an aisle when it had been cleared. The store was quiet, but almost maddeningly so. If we so much as coughed we could draw attention, and assuming the store was empty was just as dangerous.

A floundering moan from the back confirmed this, as the wind jiggled the door in its frame rousing her attention. She was a skinny zombie, probably starving since the day she died. Her frame was emaciated and small, I could see the notches of her spine and the bone of her pelvis. What bothered me the most was the distended look of her intestines in her abdomen, the flesh pressed tightly against the tract. She had an her entry wound on the upper-side of her face. It had left her eye gnashed in, but her body intact besides the nightmarish thinness. She was fast, despite her handicaps, she didn't run, but her legs moved in a wide ambling gait, like she was stepping over things. I couldn't see any reason for her strangely fluid motions and my feeling of unease was building. Alex continued along the shelves, moving toward her, mindless of the terrible building panic. From the other side of the store I could see another curved shadow, craning with age. I moved forward and grabbed his shirt tail, tugging it and pointing in the direction of the curved man. He pointed to me then the skinny woman. I really didn't want to. I had an awful feeling about it, like she was an omen for something terrible. I knew it was silly, and completely without logic, but the missing eye was just too much for me. I shook my head rapidly. Alex closed his eyes, shifting his tongue in his mouth. Here wasn't the place to argue, our communication a series of winks and blinks. He pointed at himself, and then the obviously larger man. He pointed at me, hooked the bat, then pointed at the woman. "On three" he mimed. I knew if he attacked one it would draw the attention of the other. He couldn't do both and the man was heavy in his stomach, he could easily pin me. Alex was strong and built, he could take him down in a few calculated minutes. I nodded, but I did not feel anything close to okay about it. Alex approached the man, holding his hand up to signal the countdown.

I hovered near the woman, who was inspecting the door. Her fingers were on the jam, causing it to vibrate into her fingers. Her one eye had this awful curious look to it, something I hadn't seen before in a zombie. I think it was simply the fact that it was so clear, unclouded with cataracts of mucous. My heart dropped as Alex hit three, jumping to stun the man and swinging at him. The man was too large to simply stab at.

The woman cawed and moved forward, like a skittish spider. I brought back the bat aiming it at her head, but it didn't come forward. It felt like something was holding it back and I jerked my head to see with horror it had managed to catch between two shelves, fitting perfectly in the gap. I wrenched as she stepped forward, her fingers skating forward, her eye exploring my face. Her mouth leered open, into a terrible grin. I stepped backwards, forced to abandon my bat, reaching for the pistol just to remember it was in my pack. I had never put it back when I had woken that morning.

I stepped backwards, esophagus bobbing, pace quickening. She was fast, her steps looming. She seemed to bob when she walked, like a bent crane. Still grinning she reached out for my face. I grabbed at the nearest thing I could between us, overturning a display of life vests in front of her with a hard crash. Her long legs simply tangled over them as she moved forward, my back hitting the circular counter at the center of the shop with a hard bang. I let out a yelp of surprise at the impact. She didn't care for my recovery time, closing the distance between us in one bound, her mouth opening as she leered like a witch in a fairytale. I shouted as I swung out my fist, making contact with the side of her head. It bobbed away then back up, before she could pivot on me again, I kicked out, hitting the mushy spot at the center of her abdomen. She flew backwards crashing into the life vests, sending them scattering. I stepped over them while she was still on her back, intent on bringing my foot down on her head but her hand snaked around my ankle, ripping me down besides her as she crawled onto her belly. Alex was shouting something as he continued to hit at the obese zombie, unable to get a clear shot to the head, I couldn't understand him over the skate of my breathing. The woman clamored on top of me her mouth open, the breath of her rot strangling out the air. I used one arm to press her away from me by the shoulder, reaching out blindly with the other for anything. My fingers wrapped around a loose wire hanger. I brought the side of it into the zombies remaining eye, twisting at the orbit. The zombie made a terrible guttural sound, it reminded me of a woman screaming, like her vocals had been destroyed. Her body writhed on mine as I mashed at her eye, her nails cutting into the skin of my shoulders– the blood flowing in a steady torrent as her mouth made for my skin, head pushing against the hanger and into the pain. It wasn't going to stop her, my hand on her shoulder wasn't enough. The hanger in her eye wasn't enough. I moved my arm off of her shoulder in a quick motion, reaching blindly behind me grappling for something, anything. as she lurched forward.

I came up with a blunt object, catching it around something skinny at the top. I brought it down hard on her approaching head. Her hand slackened against my chest and I jerked out from underneath her, her small body falling onto its side, hands still reaching for me. I smashed the blunt object down again and again, gasping. Outside the window, the sun was rising slowly illuminating the shop. It was only when she stilled that I realized what I was holding was a large wooden duck, splattered with brain matter.

"You okay?" Alex had moved over, looking at me uneasily. I was holding the wooden gander, covered in blood and brain matter. Her head was flat as a pancake on the floor.

"Sh-she didn't bite me," I stammered, standing just to collapse against the counter. My legs felt unsteady, vibrating.

"You're okay," Alex told me, moving closer to give my arm a squeeze. He followed my gaze to the dropped zombie, the bloodied duck laying near her head like something out of an awful game of Clue.

"I had a nightmare about her," I told Alex. "Looked just like her." I licked my lips, my breath short and panicked.

"You're okay," he told me, stepping in front of my line of vision to take away the scene. His hands wrapped around me, carefully.

"She almost bit me," I whispered. "That was really close."

"You got to be careful," Alex said, his chin disturbing the hair on my head. I could feel the stubble of his skin on my scalp. "This is what I'm talking about. That was too close."

"I fucked up," I admitted, my words muffled in his chest. I could feel the wet spots of blood on his shirt, soaking into mine. I didn't care though, it felt good to be held and I couldn't remember the last time anyone had held me.

I must have been a mess, for Alex not to be hemming insults my way. To be, actually comforting me. It was the closest I had come so far to getting infected, a walker on top of me, mouth at my neck. "I don't know where I messed up," I admitted.

"You panicked," he disengaged to level with me, his warmth moving away and leaving my skin feeling cold again. "I could see it on your face when I pointed her out. You need to use that fear to focus, or overcome it. You can't just panic. That's how you get bitten. You don't want to end up like that, do you?"

"No."

"Right," Alex repeated. "So pay, fucking, attention." He wrapped my leg, moving away to begin filling his pack. I sat for a while, waiting for my legs to steady enough to hold me up.

After our close call, Alex and I were reluctant to stop again. When we ran low on gas we stopped in a parking lot to siphon. He made me stand watch, sensing my apprehension. "Work past it," he said as I scanned the lot. He attached a tube to the intake valve of a car, placing the end of it in his mouth, siphoning. Something was lumbering in the darkness and I steadied my bat on shaking hands.

The shadow that emerged was elderly, but there was no sympathy for it. She was covered in something black, looking like a monster. "Don't fuck up," Alex said, not moving from his position. "This one's easy."

I brought back the bat, aiming it at her peach-like head. Her skull seemed to fracture on first impact, she fell stunned to the ground. I knew better than to leave her there, straightening the bat to bring the handle down into the nest of her hair, flattening her brain and scarring the pavement.

By the time we were verging on Westerrose, we were both sick of the cramped little car. Alex had started talking about the van again, stiff and sore from being smashed into the back seat of a car half his size. Our usual tension was lacing the air as we went through our supplies under the glare of the sun.

"Lures and traps," Alex read off. "We're low on canned goods. Did you eat the last of the sardines?" He had placed what remained of our food stock on the back-end of the car, frowning.

"Were we saving them for something?"

"Yeah. Me," he said with a hint of annoyance. "You know, the guy who needs energy to save your ass." I rolled my eyes.

"I did okay."

"You got fucking lucky," he said. "You were a mess, and if that wooden duck hadn't been there you might not be. Pull it together." He ran his fingers along the nose of his rifle as counted the bullets inside. I chaffed my teeth together, not entirely surprised that Alex's gentle manner hadn't lasted. He'd wasted his hour cap in ten intense minutes the day before, now I was lucky if he could say something to me without spitting it. He twisted, cringing as his back cracked audibly.

"Maybe we should sleep in a house tonight," I suggested.

"Sure. Let's get the car stolen at the end of this goddamn thing. We can walk into Westerrose, offer them the meat on our skin, and have no way to get away. It'll be thrilling."

"I'm sure they're not cannibals," I said, having nothing to base this off of besides the sound of their voice on the radio. "And one night won't kill us."

"Might not kill me," he said, re-shouldering his rifle. "Think you can handle hitting up another store, or are you going to have another panic attack?"

I flickered my eyes darkly over him. "I can handle it. You were fucking nicer to me yesterday."

"Yeah, well you almost died yesterday. I guess I was feeling charitable. Now I just feel like you're an idiot again." He began piling the stuff on the back of the car into his pack. I tried not to lob a can at him as I shoved it back into our knapsack.

"Maybe you're just on your man period," I suggested. Alex's dark eyes passed over mine, unsmiling. I rolled my eyes, not pushing the envelope to suggest what type of supplies he might need. He was hinging on his last nerve as is.

The store we raided was mostly empty, already raided. The gun shops were the first things to get stripped down when all went out. If it wasn't the military it was any lunatic with a gun license or connection, quickly getting the fire power to man his own house and ending up just another gun-toting zombie. "Empty, empty," scowled Alex as he moved along the shelves, knocking loose screws off one of the stands. "Fucking empty."

"I found a granola bar," I said, somewhat satisfied to have found anything. Alex spun to look at me, looking somewhat murderous. "You could have half," I offered. "Do you want the whole thing?"

"Eve. Just shut the fuck up. Unless you can find a way to fend zombies off with Nutrigrain, then I don't give a fuck."

"It's Nature's Valley." Alex spun, slamming his arm on the counter next to my leg. It was one of those not so rare times I thought he might snap and punch me in the face. "Happy New Years Eve, Alex." His eyes reflected over mine and I wasn't so sure he was going to just walk away.

"Just, shut up," he said, moving away from me, his hostility following him like a warm cloud. I didn't mind the warmth. I didn't even mind the stiff tension of the air, or his balled fist. Something feral in me even liked it.

I just didn't like the wall it left behind, like something unsaid and impossible to touch. It left me feeling glum and isolated.

Alex was still in a crappy mood when night fell, sitting on the hood of the car and examining the sky-line. It was a beautiful night, but that didn't mean we could forget the reality of it. Even then, perched on the side of an unoccupied mountain range we had to be careful. Not that far off there were entire households of things that wanted us dead. My close call with death had been only a few days before, and I still hadn't quite shaken it. I don't think Alex had either, leaving him bitter and testy. The added stress of our venture to Westerrose being less than twenty four hours away wasn't helping the tension any.

"What were you doing last New Years?" I asked, shifting on the aluminum nose of the vehicle.

"Keg stands," he snapped.

I wasn't sure if it was sarcasm. He seemed to realize that and shot me a look. "I'm not a frat boy, I wasn't doing keg stands."

"You said it." I shrugged. "It was hard to visualize, though." I looked to Alex, hoping he would ask me anything but he was content to sit in the silence, sipping from a lukewarm bottle of water.

There was only so much tension I could stand. A dance with death. Alex's building anger. A low weapon supply and it was New Years Eve. Nothing was familiar and I guess I was bumbling, looking for something to tether me. "I was at a party," I volunteered, when he didn't ask. "My friend had set me up on some kind of blind date. It was a really awkward way to start the new year."

Alex didn't say anything, spinning the cap back on the bottle. "The guy wouldn't stop talking," I said. "Which was hard, because I like to talk."

"Really." I bit my bottom lip, examining the stars above. I felt kind of sick, and I wasn't sure why.

It had something to do with midnight. It was the symbol of the New Year, sitting in a living graveyard with a guy who spit my name every time he said it. It was also a weird fluttery feeling, deep inside me that I knew would hurt when my unrealistic expectation was miserably failed.

I had no idea why I wanted Alex to kiss me. I knew I was attracted to him. I felt it when his arm stirred within a breath of mine, like a magnet of heat. He was an attractive person, the kind I would have pined after in my life before, but never been able to see myself with. He had that whole ruggedly sexy thing going for him.

But he was a jerk,. He was such a jerk. He called me names and made me feel like crap. And I was pretty sure that he didn't feel anything like that for me. He didn't look at me the way any of my even casual boyfriends had. He never paused and he definitely never said anything nice.

Sometimes, there was something. Like when he was near me, and I was feeling that heat, sometimes he looked at me and I thought he felt it too. But if he did he wasn't letting on as much.

"Alex," I said, my voice strangely quiet.

"What?" His voice was perpetually irritated.

My stomach felt like a bursting knot, my nervousness a tangible creature inside of me. "Don't kiss me, because it's midnight," I said finally. It felt like such a stupidly weird thing to say. Alex looked at me like I was retarded, which did not help my sinking feeling.

"Okay," he said, which was a bit better than him saying nothing at all. My neck felt hot, and my face felt numb but I wasn't sure why I felt so stupid. It wasn't a big deal, right?

My watch clicked on my hand, midnight in the shape of an L. I blinked at the stars, feeling oddly pacified. Oddly nothing and at the same time I felt horrible, like the time switching over had been something to physically happen to me.

If it was going to be the end of the world, why couldn't I spend it with someone who thought my time was worth something? Who could at least humor me with a conversation?

I tried to find something nice in the stars, looking over the disappearing world below.

Alex pulled at my arm, looking to my watch. I craned my neck to see what he was looking at, like there was anything interesting about the time, or the date, or what used to constitute a holiday. It was one minute past midnight of the New Year.

He didn't say anything, his hand cupping my jaw and directing my head to the side. His kiss was as intense as was, his mouth breaking into mine like a floodgate. My hands found his face, the scratch of stubble on his chin scraping my face as his hands found the back of my hair, tugging hard. I found my nails sinking into his skin as he reeled me in, his tongue like a battering ram, winding across the expanse of my mouth with a shiver. My breath was a cold whisper, something soft an audible. He pulled tighter still, the kiss hard and suffocating. I could feel myself shaking, from the cold and more than that, the intensity that wove through my body like a contraction.

When it ended my breaths were uneven, his own a short bull-like exhale. I ran my fingers across my lips, stunned as he gazed into the woods, waiting for something to breach the trees. The silence between us settled like a breeze, shifting loftily through the leaves. I didn't want to break it, for once.

One past Midnight, I thought, feeling almost warm.