A/N: Hey you guys, thank you for your reviews! And thank you so much BadassGenius for beta-reading this story for now on, since my current beta-reader, celadeschannel is really busy with school stuffs. In this chapter you'll see Derek dealing with the kids and his return to Seattle
"Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, just take me back to the start" The Scientist- Coldplay
After spending the day talking with people he didn't really know, treating patients who seemed to like him but he couldn't recognize and performing a surgery on someone that he had no idea who he was, except for the medical condition he read on the patient's chart, he was finally going back home.
In this very long day, he finally got to meet his co-workers and they seemed really nice people and good friends. When he left the practice, Addison was already gone so he took his car and started to drive around the city. He saw a bar near the practice, he'd wanted to go in there so badly since the moment he noticed it, he could really use a drink or two to finish this day, but he knew that he couldn't do that because people were already telling him how weird he had been acting the whole day so if he let himself drink as much as he wanted to, he would end up telling everything and he knew that nobody would ever understand. He didn't even understand what was happening.
While driving, he couldn't stop wondering about Meredith; if she was married now, and probably not in a crappy post-it note like they did it, no, she was really married. Who would be her husband? He knew that nobody in the hospital, besides him, nobody had a crush on her. But what if that changed too? Or what if it was the vet? She really liked him, he thought.
Derek wanted to know more about that but he couldn't just ask Addison about it; he would have had to find out by himself when they would fly to Seattle that week.
After an hour driving, trying to find his own house, he finally got there. When he opened the main door, the first person he saw was his daughter; the little girl was playing in the living room but in the moment she saw her father, she jumped into his arms.
"Daddy! I've missed you so much today" but Derek seemed indifferent, he didn't even know the girl. This was the first time he had ever talked to her, he simply smiled to the girl trying not to say too much.
"Hey… Kiddo" he simply said, he didn't know his own daughter's name and he sort of felt sorry for that, even if he didn't know her, she did, and she loved her daddy.
"I'm not your little princess anymore, daddy? You haven't been at home all day, mommy said that you were too busy taking care of other kid's daddies" the three-years-old asked him with a sad face, even this little girl knew that he wasn't acting like he usually did.
"Of course you are, sweetie" he said smiling, he couldn't resist that girl's face, she looked like a mini-version of Addison with blonde hair but she had Derek's bright blue eyes. "Where's your mommy? I need to talk to her about… I need to talk to her" he asked his daughter while she was taking her toys to keep playing.
"She's with Chris in your room, he wanted to show her a draw he painted at school"
"Thank you"
Derek immediately went upstairs to his room and Addison and Christopher were there, they named him after Derek, so there was no way that he'd ever forget about this boy's name.
"Hey you two" he greeted them while walking into the room. Addison was sitting on the bed with the little boy next to her.
"Oh, hey Derek" she greeted back "Christopher, ain't you gonna say 'Hi' to daddy?" she asked turning back to her son.
"No, I'm not talking to daddy. I just want you mommy" he said hugging his mother and Derek didn't seem to care.
"Addison, can we just talk?" he said ignoring the child.
"Christopher, can you go downstairs to play with your sister? I'm sure daddy's very sorry for whatever he did. Right, daddy?" she turned back to Derek, expecting an answer that would make Christopher feel better.
"Sure, whatever she says."
"He didn't mean it, mommy!" the boy said, yelling now.
"Just do what your mother said and go downstairs with your sister" Derek wasn't used to the parenting thing. His nieces and nephews used to love him but it was because he was the funny uncle Derek, but being a parent was totally different than being an uncle. He had always wanted to have his own children, but not this way. He'd never imagine that something like this would ever happen to him.
"Honey, just go downstairs with Katie, okay?" she said smiling at the boy but at the same time giving Derek a look, an angry one.
"Yes mommy" the little boy said to his mother and left the room.
"What the hell is happening to you, Derek!" she asked to her husband when she made sure that her son wasn't there anymore "One thing is that you act like a complete asshole the whole day in front of me and our friends, but in front of our children? What's wrong with you!"
"Trust me, Addison. I've been asking myself the same question since this morning"
"Damn it, Derek! Why do you act like you don't even care? Your son is mad at you and doesn't talk to you, and your daughter spent the day crying because she hasn't seen you all day! Does it even matter to you?"
"If you'd had the day I had today, we wouldn't be having this conversation! I'm trying to be fine with all of this but the thing is that I'm not! I'm not used to any of this!" he said raising his voice, he thought that he would handle this situation in better ways, but he just couldn't.
"The day you had? Oh, right! Because I am not a doctor and I am not a surgeon! And I don't have to see patients all day or I don't run a practice!" she said sarcastically "Don't give me that shit with the day you had, because we've been through worse and you've never acted like this!"
"It's not about work, okay?" he simply said, he didn't want to keep fighting with Addison. It was worthless, she wouldn't understand his behaviour.
"So, what's about? If you don't tell me, we can't try to fix it" she told her husband, trying to help him and to know what was wrong with him, but he didn't say a word. "Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter! I need to go and tuck our children in and when I do, I'm gonna try my best to not to tell them that they have a jerk as a father"
Derek could see that Addison was really mad at him; she left the room and he remained there alone.
xx
The next morning, when he opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised that he was still there, in the same room with Addison next to him. He woke up with the alarm clock and decided not to wake her up just yet, he left the bedroom and decided to go to the children's room, and they were already up. He had thought that he couldn't just be there pretending to be someone he was not, but seeing those two kids, playing together, made it difficult not love them, and after all they were his children. If he was gonna be there for a long time, he needed to start acting according to it.
"Daddy!" Katie exclaimed when she saw her father and jumped into his arms.
"Hey sweetie" Derek said to the girl, kissing her on the forehead. The boy was still playing with his toys because he was still mad at his father and he wasn't talking to him. "Let's get you two ready before your mother wakes up, okay?" Derek suggested, smiling to the children. Maybe he could get used to this.
An hour later, Addison woke up and realised that she was alone in the big room she shared with Derek; when she saw the time on the clock on the bedside table, she realised that it was really late for her, she needed to do a lot of things before going to work, but now she didn't have time and Derek wasn't there.
She quickly went to the children's room, but they weren't there so she went downstairs and saw that they were in the kitchen with Derek. They were all ready to go, the two kids and Derek, they were having cereal for breakfast. The only one who wasn't ready was her.
"Hey Addison" Derek said at the moment he saw her standing there "We were about to go once we finish eating."
"Hey mommy" both kids said "Daddy said we didn't have to wake you up" Katie continued.
"That was a big gesture coming from daddy" she said smiling to the children while she noticed that Derek was amazed looking at them "Now, you two go and find your bags while I go to get ready, okay?" the two kids left, leaving their parents alone in the kitchen.
"What are you smiling about?" she asked Derek, he had had the same face expression since she walked in there.
"I don't know" he answered "It's just that we have such beautiful children, excellent jobs, we did it pretty well."
"Wait, this is your way to tell me that you're sorry?" she asked while she was getting closer to her husband "Because I know other ways for you to apologize that have nothing to do with making breakfast, if you know what I mean."
He laughed. It had been a really long time since he heard Addison telling him something like that, until today, he never realised how much he missed all of this.
"Oh really? What do you have in mind?" Derek asked, teasing her and laughing.
"Well, I'll tell you tonight" she said turning back "Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you something… I spoke to Amelia last night and she said that she can take care of the kids for this weekend."
"Really, Addie? Amelia, one weekend with our children? I don't think so, she can't even take care of herself."
"What are you talking about? The children love her and you know that she is their favourite aunt" for one minute, Derek totally forgot about the fact that things weren't like he was used to, for one minute he completely believed that this was actually his life.
"Yes, you're right; the kids love her. So when are we going to Seattle? Mark told me they need us there as soon as possible."
"Yeah, well, we have done that surgery before, so it won't be so difficult for both of us. We've already seen the patient's chart, so we're familiar with her case, though I want to see her before operating on her. So I'm thinking we should be there by tomorrow morning."
"That sounds great and that would give us time to catch up with our friends there" he needed to do that, he needed to know how the life was in Seattle Grace Hospital without Derek Shepherd.
"Yeah, I'm gonna get ready now. I'll see you in the practice okay? I love you" she kissed him and left the kitchen. He didn't answer her, he wasn't sure how he felt about Addison right now, he couldn't tell her that he loved her too. He didn't know, he felt like he did, but what was gonna happen if all this ended? Was he just gonna stay in love with Addison forever? He couldn't just let himself do that, not now that he was way over her, but this situation was making everything really difficult for him, but right now all that he could do was smiling, and pretending he was the guy everyone thought he was.
xx
The very next day, after a quick check on the practice and leaving their kids with Amelia, both Addison and Derek went to the airport to fly to Seattle. Derek was really excited because after two long days, he would have finally discovered what had happened there and how life was working there, now that he wasn't there.
When the married couple finally arrived in Seattle, they went immediately to the hospital. Before entering, they were in front of it, watching it from the outside, remembering the last time they were there, years ago. At least Addison was the one thinking about it, Derek instead couldn't wait to go inside and see the changes in there and wondering if somebody would ever miss him, but before that, he needed to know about Meredith, who her husband was and if she still felt something for him. While they were walking in there, they could notice the nurses whispering that McDreamy and the She-Shepherd were back at the hospital; they just ignored it and laughed about it.
"This place is the same we left 5 years ago" Addison told her husband while they were waiting for the elevator and still observing the nurses and interns whispering and looking at them.
"Yes, this will never change" Derek said, smiling to Addison. He was feeling a little better now that he was there, back where he belonged to, with the people he knew and with the things he was familiar with. These days in Seattle would have been like going back to the things he was used to, at least just for a little time. When the elevator's door opened, they were surprised to see Miranda Bailey in there, who seemed to be happy to see them back.
"Addison! Derek! You're back!" Miranda greeted the couple, they were good friends of her and she hadn't seen them in a while.
"Hey Miranda, it's good to see you again! We're not back, we're only here for a consult." Addison cleared to Miranda.
"Hey Bailey" Derek greeted back, remembering that the last time he saw Miranda was about two days ago, but obviously she didn't know that.
"Actually I was coming down to wait for the two of you" Bailey gave Addison a bunch of stuff she had in her arms "Dr. Sloan told me that you were about to come by this time."
"Okay" Addison said, giving a look at the things Bailey gave her. "Here's the chart, labs, security key card and key to the doctors' lounge" she said showing all of it to her husband "Oh, look, honey, they used our old pictures on the ID card… It's funny, it's like we've never actually left this place!"
"Trust me, I get the feeling… It's like we just left for a couple of days" Derek answered, while looking at the things she had in her hands.
"Well, now that you're already here, you should meet the people who are gonna work with you in this case, and I'm gonna warn you, there are a lot of new people here since we merged the hospital with the Mercy West. You will know them later" Bailey, leaving the elevator, informed Addison and Derek who were walking behind her. Miranda stepped in front of three young doctors, who were gonna be the residents in their case.
"I assume you two remember Dr. Karev" Miranda told Addison and Derek, they just smiled nicely when they saw that Alex was gonna be in their case. Addison had always had fun torturing Alex Karev as an intern making him work with her.
"I knew you would miss me" Addison said laughing to Alex.
"Nice to have you back Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, Dr. Shepherd"
"Okay, this is Dr. Jackson Avery" Jackson just gave both doctors a hand shake. Derek just pretended he didn't know him, he was getting used to this.
"Are you a relative of Dr. Harper Avery?" Addison asked curiously, she had always admired Harper Avery's work.
"I'm his grandson actually, but I don't like to make a big deal of it"
"Sure, let's keep it that way then" Addison said very nicely "Well, now that we're all here, I'd like to talk to the patient and schedule the surgery as soon as we can."
"That sounds great, but I'd like to see Mark first. I'll meet the patient right after you guys left okay?" Derek said to his wife after he gave her a kiss on her cheek, just like he always did when they were married for real.
He waited several seconds for the elevator and when it opened the door, he was extremely surprised because there was only one person in the elevator: the person he was looking for, Meredith Grey, looking like exactly the last time he saw her. The only different thing was that there was a golden ring on her finger, now.
Derek smiled when he saw her face, but she wasn't paying enough attention to him. She looked happy, for the first time since he knew her, she didn't had the 'dark and twisted' look on her face.
"Dr. Shepherd" she greeted Derek, gently and distant.
"Meredith, you know you don't have to call me Dr. Shepherd. You know it's always been Derek, there is no need for you to be like that"
"Seriously? I think we were past this already. It's been five years and we've only been together for like what? Two months? We both know we would never work out as a couple, not the way you and Addison do."
"No, Meredith, you don't understand. You don't remember it but we did work out, we've been together for years" he tried to kiss her but Meredith didn't let him.
"What are you freakin' doing!" she asked, she had no idea what Derek was talking about "You know what I remember? You leaving me, you promising me that you were gonna be with me, that you were in love with me! But what did you do instead? You moved to another city and left me alone! You don't get to come here, all McDreamy and smiley, after everything you did to me and after I finally had the chance to move on!"
"Meredith, please" he tried to say.
"No, Dr. Shepherd. I'm married now and I'm in love with my husband, he would never hurt me like you did, now, go to your wife. I heard you two came together, I'll keep my mouth shut and I'll pretend this conversation never happened okay?"
"I'm sorry, I never meant to-"
"We moved on and it's okay. I've changed, I'm a better girl now, the dark and twisted thing is over" Meredith said to Derek, while he was realizing how serious she was talking and how much she had truly changed, she had actually become a better person now that he was not with her anymore.
"I'm glad you're happy. I don't know why I tried to- I guess I was confused"
"No problem, now if you excuse me, I'm in charge of the ER for today, it was good to see you again" she said, leaving the elevator while Derek still had to go another floor down.
"Meredith, when am I gonna meet this guy? The one who ended up with the dark and twisted Meredith" he said laughing, he expected that when he'd see Meredith again she would be waiting for him, but now, seeing her like this, just made him happy to know she was different and not this careless person who was once his wife.
"You haven't seen him yet? He is one of the residents on your case" she replied while the elevator's door closed and Derek couldn't hear who he was, but one thing he was sure, he already knew the guy and he had already worked with him.
A/N What do you think? So, Jackson or Alex could be Meredith's husband.. You know what would make me really happy and wouldn't take longer than 1min? Reviews :D Please?
