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Ch. 3 The One who's Always Been There

(CLARE)

A chorus of alarms woke us all up early the next morning, the fact that it is was Friday brought me little joy as all I could think was that the Terror Twins would find a way to get me.

"Who wants a shower?" Drew asks in a sleepy voice.

"I do," Owen speaks up.

"Me too," K.C. nods.

"I want a shower," I say in a soft voice, sitting up and pulling my knees to chest.

"Clare showers first," Owen states loudly since he's the only one that heard me request a shower.

"Clare can shower in our washroom upstairs, Owen you can take the shower on the first floor, K.C. shower down here," Adam tells us.

Owen gets out of bed and takes my arm gently helping me up. All my clothes are already in Adam's room so I start walking upstairs while Owen gets himself clothes. He smiles at me before I ascend the second set of stairs to the bedrooms. Going into Drew and Adam's washroom I turn on the water, lock the washroom door and start undressing. Adjusting the water before I get in, the warm water hits my back and I hiss in pain, not because the water is too hot but where it hits. The doctor said the nerve damage is permanent and I will always feel some pain, sensitivity to touch and limited movement. Usually it's not so bad and I'm getting used to it but today it's particularly bad, feels like it did before the surgery. I turn around letting the water run down my front instead. Hearing noises in other parts of the house I shake and my heart starts pounding, I know I'm at Adam's house, that I'm safe but the pain or the constant fear I'm in or both take me back to the cabin.

Suddenly I feel Reese in the shower with me, his hands on my skin, his breath on my neck. Logically I know he isn't there but logic is easily squashed by the overwhelming terror. I sink down against the wall, curling my knees to my chest and crying into the water. Hearing Drew go into his room is what finally snaps me out of it. I pull myself to stand and quickly wash my hair before getting out of the shower. Turning off the water and wrapping a towel around my body I leave the washroom for Adam's room to get dressed. When I open the door to Adam's room I see a figure sitting on Adam's bed and I gasp.

"Eli what are you doing here?" I demand shrinking back and tightening the towel around me.

It's not as though he's never seen me naked I lost my virginity to Eli. At the time it had been right, he was my boyfriend, I was in love with him and I refused to lose my virginity to rape the way Darcy did. Now though I hated Eli and I didn't want him to see me, even though I had a towel around me I felt naked.

"I had to talk to you," Eli says getting off the bed and stepping toward me.

"I don't want to talk to you get out!" I command trying to keep my voice steady and backing up into the hall.

"Clare please I still love you," Eli begs.

"ELI GET OUT!" I scream, already on edge and in pain Eli's insistence to talk is grinding on my last nerve.

Drew's door flies open and the elder Torres brother steps out half dressed. He looks at me wearing nothing but a towel and glares at Eli. My scream also brings Owen running up the stairs; he's also half dressed and glaring at Eli.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Owen demands taking my hand and pulling me behind him.

"Stay out of this you moronic jock!" Eli snaps at him and Owen's eyes light with a fiery rage.

"No one wants you here and Clare doesn't want to talk to you, stay away from her!" Owen barks at him as Audra, Adam and Dallas come up the stairs.

There are now too many males in a tight space and I'm only wearing a towel. While I know that none of them are Reese or Fitz I begin to panic. Drew sees or senses this; he takes my arm and gently pulls me into his room closing the door behind us. Drew stays with me while the others deal with Eli. Audra politely asks Eli to leave while Owen demands it again and when Eli still refuses I hear some noises and Owen seems to be forcefully escorting Eli from the house.

"YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM HER SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" Eli yells as he's being taken out.

"Ex-girlfriend you cheated on her and she dumped your sorry ass!" Owen growls so loud I can hear them even though they're outside.

I hear the front door slam and a stampede of people going up and down the stairs. Someone knocks on Drew's door and I jump out of instinct, my nerves raw and the fact that I'm wearing nothing but a towel is not helping.

"Yeah," Drew calls and the door opens.

"Are you okay?" Owen asks stepping into the room.

"Yeah he didn't hurt me or anything I was just surprised to see him and I was only wearing a towel and the shower…" I realize I'm starting to ramble and I take a breath as Drew puts a hand on my arm. "I'm okay," I say quietly.

"Eli's gone you should get dressed," Owen says.

I nod standing up and walking to the hall, from my peripheral vision I see Drew going to his closet for a shirt and Owen walking downstairs again. Adam's already been to his room to change into clean clothes and I lock the door after going in. After checking to be sure that the window is closed and block it so it can't be opened, I grab my bag with clothes and start getting dressed. Just as I'm pulling on my shirt there's a knock at the door.

"Just a sec," I call fixing my clothes and going to the door when I open it Drew is standing there.

"Are you okay? You seem jumpy this morning, more than usual," Drew comments closing the door.

"Fine, just when I was in the shower it brought back memories of being in the cabin. Then when Eli was in the room I just lost my nerve," I tell him.

"We'll keep Eli from getting near you again, Owen especially. You know he likes you," Drew says.

"He told me he loved me before and then he went and cheated on me," I respond.

"No not Eli, Owen he likes you Clare, more than as a friend," Drew tells me.

I turn to Drew looking at the boy sure that he's crazy, "Owen doesn't go for girls like me. Why would he? He can't like me," I argue.

"He does Clare, think about it. Why do you think he's the only one who never stopped guarding you? Still walks you from class to class, is always around and pummeled Eli so hard when he found out Eli was cheating with Alli?" Drew postulates.

"You still walk me to classes sometimes, you still guard me and you helped pummel Eli," I point out.

"We've all but signed papers legally adopting you as a Torres. You're a part of this family Clare; you're like a little sister to me. I do exactly for you what I'd do for Adam. Owen thinks of you as anything but a little sister, he likes you Clare. Pretty sure he's in love with actually and if you think back he has been for a while," Drew argues.

I bite my lip and look my hands, "I always felt safest with Eli but only because he was my boyfriend not because I thought he could really protect me if it came down to it. I felt next safest with Adam because he was my best friend and then I felt safest Owen. He was a football player, hockey player, did MMA fighting and well he was the biggest and strongest but there was always something a little more. Then you, K.C., Connor, Mo and Jake but always preferred if Owen was around," I confess.

"Then you like him too," Drew surmises.

"No, Owen can't like me, why would he? I'm broken Drew, scarred and a nervous wreck. It's gotten even worse since the Terror Twins escaped. Even if I do feel the same I can't…it wouldn't be right, wouldn't be fair to Owen. I forced myself to have sex with Eli and it just made things worse! What if the Terror Twins get me again?" I question, my voice shaking at the very prospect.

"We won't let them get you again Clare," Drew tells me.

"I know that all of you will do everything you can to keep them from getting to me but you all said that before. They nearly killed Eli, Mo, K.C. and Adam to get me I won't let anyone else get hurt to keep me safe, if they come for me I'll go with them instead of letting anyone else get hurt. I thought they were dead Drew, until Reese told me otherwise but this time I don't think they'll let anyone live."

"And we'd all die to protect you; none of us will let them take you. You're worrying about stuff that hasn't happened and that we will do everything we can to keep from happening. I think you don't want to admit that you have the same feelings. Owen knows you need time that's why he didn't say anything Clare but he's in love with you. You don't have to do anything about it, you don't have to tell him you know but I thought you should know," Drew tells me standing up and going to the door, he opens it and pauses in the doorway turning back to me. "And Clare you're not broken, you've been hurt and you're scared but you're not broken."

Drew leaves the room; I slip on my shoes and go into the washroom to finish getting ready. When a face appears in the mirror I jump again, it's only Owen and I let out a breath.

"Sorry, Audra has breakfast ready you should eat," Owen tells me.

"It's okay, I'm on edge and a nervous wreck, everything scares me. I'm not hungry though and I need to cover these dark circles under my eyes," I reply putting the makeup brush in the powder.

Owen steps in taking my hand before I can put the makeup on my skin. His soft touch is comforting, making me feel secure and shielded, I want him to hold me in his arms, to feel safe like always and I know I feel the way he does. My insecurities, the parts of me that are forever scarred and that will never truly heal gnaw at me and tell me Drew is wrong. That there is no possible way Owen could even like me that way let alone be in love with me. So I simply freeze rather than going into his arms like I want to do.

"You look fine, everyone knows you're not sleeping and everyone knows why and you need to eat. Why don't you go down to the basement, most everyone else is down there eating already and I'll get you something to eat," he suggests in a calm voice.

"Okay," I smile softly setting the makeup brush down on the sink.

Owen puts a hand at my lower back and escorts me down to the kitchen, Audra is speaking to Omar about an alarm system and locks on the windows since Eli was able to sneak in and I've been sneaking in for weeks. They stop speaking once I'm in the room which happens a lot. Everyone else in the kitchen gives me a cautious smile when they see me and I continue on down to the basement. Dallas, Connor, Bianca and K.C. are down here, they all look over at me but no one says anything, no one has opened the curtains either. Without the curtains open the basement is rather dark and after Eli's surprise visit this morning I don't want any more dark spaces. Rationally I know that the Terror Twins couldn't have gotten in the basement and couldn't be hiding but ration and logic don't exist in my world currently. So I walk to the curtains and pull them back, everyone shrinks at the sudden flood of sunlight. My eyes blink to the sudden harsh change in light as well and then I freeze, for an entirely different reason than everyone else. I gasp at the sight of the rose sitting on the bench, the same blood red rose that is just starting to bloom that they always get!

"They were here," I whisper hardly audible in a tiny shaky petrified voice. "They were here Eli got in what if they got in?!" I start to babble and everyone down here begins gathering around me.

"What are you talking about Clare?" Dallas questions putting a hand on my shoulder and I instinctively shrink from his touch.

"The rose, see the rose, they were here! What if they got in?! What if they planted cameras?! They've done it before! They could be watching us right now! They're going to figure out how to get in! They're going to take me! They're going to take me right from under your noses! They'll get in and they'll attack you all and take me!" I don't even care that I'm babbling right now, I'm just overwhelmed by fear.

"What is she talking about?" Dallas asks.

"The rose they left roses before," K.C. tells them as my breathing starts getting thin and strained, my chest gets tight as my heart rate speeds up.

"You don't know it was them," Connor says trying to sound comforting.

"It was them, of course it was them! They were here! They know I'm here!" I babble nearly incoherently as I slip into a full panic attack. "It's not safe I can't be here they're going to hurt you! They're going to hurt you to get to me!"

"Clare calm down you're going to pass out," Bianca tries but it's too late.

The room goes fuzzy, their faces blur and then everything goes black!

"Grab her!" I hear someone say urgently and feel several hands grabbing me just before the world fades away all together.

(OWEN)

I come down the basement stairs with breakfast for me and Clare then hear her freaking out, but can't quite make out she's saying as her voice is too high pitched with terror. When I get down to where I can see the first thing I do see is Clare passing out!

"Grab her!" I command sharply so she doesn't hit the floor on her damaged back.

Dallas, K.C. and Bianca all reach for her, keeping her from hitting the ground by a net of human hands. I rush down the rest of the stairs, setting down the plates on the coffee table and going to Clare. I pick her up and she starts to come back to the conscious world, she looks up at me blinking her eyes and I smile at her. Sitting on the sofa with her in my lap and in my arms, she groans slightly putting her hand to her head as she readjusts to consciousness.

"What happened?" I question brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"She saw a rose on the bench on the back patio, same kind they always leave. Then she started getting frantic that they had come in the house like Eli and planted cameras like before," K.C. explains.

"You alright?" I ask as she grips my shirt and tries to sit up.

"A little dizzy," she responds. "What if they got in? What if they…" she begins again so I cut her off before she goes into another panic attack.

"They didn't get in, there are too many of us here and I doubt Eli would let them in. He wants you back, letting the Terror Twins in is not going to get you back. They're just trying to scare you Clare," I assure her.

"They don't need to try I'm already afraid, always afraid" she replies.

"It may not be them, just like the notes in your locker someone could be trying to mess with you. Don't worry about it right now, just try and eat something," I insist reaching to the coffee table for her plate of food.

She picks at her food as the Torres brothers come downstairs; they had been discussing house security with their parents. Bianca tells them about the rose and Adam assures her the Terror Twins didn't get inside. After breakfast we all leave for school, taking my car and the Torres minivan. The Bakers, Maya, Zig and my brother are waiting for us on the steps. Adam tells them about the rose and Clare sort of hides behind me. Eli arrives at school and she really shrinks behind me. He looks at her but doesn't even try and approach her with all of us standing here, especially after I glare at him.

"I want to go inside," she says quietly while we're talking about the fact that they left her a rose and know she's sleeping at the Torres house.

I put a hand at her back to direct her inside, knowing the others will follow, and she hisses in a painful breath. I lower my hand brushing a curl behind her ear and look at her.

"Is your back bothering you?" I question as the group begins to follow us inside.

"Just hurts more than usual today, I'm sure it's psychological," she tells me and I smile, only Clare would make that assumption at a time like this.

It took everyone so long to get ready and then filling in everyone else that we only have a few minutes before classes start. So we walk Clare to her locker where we find Jenna, she smiles at Clare and then the group of us walk Clare to science. Jenna, Connor, Adam and K.C. all have the class with her so they go in with her. I walk on to math Drew, Dallas and Bianca and the others diverge onto their own classes. We don't visit our lockers cause there isn't time. I leave class a couple minutes early to pick up Clare, the others coming with me and Armstrong doesn't say a word. We walk Clare to AP English and I'm hesitant to leave her given that Adam is the only SSS in the class with her and Eli also has the class.

"You sure you're going to be okay? Pretty sure I can sit in the class and Dawes won't mind," I offer to Clare not taking my arm from her shoulders when we're at the classroom door.

"I'll watch her, and I'll make sure Eli keeps his distance if he doesn't then I'll text you," Adam promises.

"I'll keep my phone out, if it's about you the teachers don't mind if any of us leave class. If you or Adam text me then I'll be here," I tell her.

"I'll be okay," Clare says managing a small smile.

I somewhat unwillingly take my arm from her shoulders to let her go into class and she bites her lip as she walks in with Adam. Dallas, Bianca and I go to our science class, I don't pay too much attention during class but Bianca is taking notes I'll get them from her later. I spend most of class thinking about the fact the Terror Twins were so close to the Torres house without any of us noticing. When the bell rings we all meet up outside of Dawes class to grab Clare and Adam. Since Clare didn't eat much at breakfast we head to the caf and force her to eat a bagel, she's passing out enough from panic attacks I'm not going to have her doing it because she doesn't eat enough. She's quiet and internal, sitting closer to me than usual, I put my arm around her and she kind of nuzzles into me. She picks at her bagel all through morning break and eats about half of it. When the bell rings everyone begins walking their classes but Clare, Bianca, Adam and I have a spare this period.

"I need to talk to Owen," Clare tells them as we pass the storage room, "wait for us here."

Adam and Bianca nod, leaning on either side of the door while Clare and I go in the storage room.

"What's wrong?" I ask her sitting on the table at the front of the room as she starts pacing in front of me.

"Do you like me? Because Drew seems to think that you like me, actually he said he thought you were in love with me," she says rambling slightly and talking with a nervous, almost self-conscious tone. I'm going to kill Drew or possibly kiss him depending on how this turns out. "I'm sure Drew is just crazy and I'm making a fool of myself by even sa…"

"Yes," I say before she goes on.

She freezes and looks over at me, "Yes? Yes you like me or…"

"Yes I'm in love with you," I say before she can continue, "I have been for a while, since before finding you at the cabin really but you were with Eli then. And then he cheated on you and you were still recovering from being kidnapped, stalked and everything else you went through. I knew you needed time so I didn't say anything or do anything, I wanted to give you time and space."

"How long have you been in love with me?" She questions.

"I guess it was when you were spending the weekend at my house with everyone," I confess.

"You've been in love with me for that long?" She says and then falls quiet like she's thinking. "You can't be in love with me, you're just going to get hurt," she sighs but she steps closer to me.

"If you don't feel the same way…"

"But I do feel the same way," she says cutting me off, "that's the problem."

"What do mean?" I inquire taking her hand and pulling her to me, she stands between my legs now, her left hand resting on my leg as I'm holding her right. I brush a curl behind her ear and tip her chin up so her eyes will meet mine, "If you're in love with me too, even if you just like me isn't it a good thing?"

"I'm in love with you too, I know I am and I've been wrestling with it all morning. If Reese and Fitz find out they'll just target you the way they did Eli," she protests.

"I can handle the Terror Twins," I tell her brushing my fingers over her cheek and she doesn't recoil from my touch in fact she seems to enjoy it.

"Maybe but what about Tristan? Even if you can I'm broken Owen, I was kidnapped, stalked, raped, whipped and then the one person I thought loved me through all that cheated on me with my supposed best friend. I was pretty much a nervous wreck anyway, I was barely holding it together and just doing my best to make it appear like everything was okay and now they're out! Now when I look over my shoulder there's actually a chance that they could be there. I forced myself to have sex with Eli too soon and it all but broke me and all it did for him was push him into the arms of Alli! I'm not going to be a good girlfriend, I don't know how much…" I silence her with my finger to her lips this time and she takes a breath.

"I don't care, I know you were still healing, I know what Eli did took you back a few steps, I know having the Terror Twins out has taken you back a few more steps. You don't have to be my girlfriend; we don't have to tell anyone it's up to you. What do you want Clare?" I ask her taking my finger from her lips so she can reply.

"I want…" she says and then pauses biting her lip and looking away from me but I turn her head and lock her eyes with mine again. "I want to be in your arms," she finally says.

I smile keeping hold of her hand and spinning her so that her back is to me. Her arms crossed over her torso, I pull her to lean against the table between my legs, then I take her other hand with mine and now I'm holding both her hands and she's in my arms.

"Better?" I ask and she nods. "There's no outside world right now, there are no Terror Twins, no cheating ex's, no skanky former best friends, right now there's just us," I whisper in her ear and I see her smile.

She nuzzles into my chest and squeezes my hands a little tighter. She stays like that a minute and I tighten my arms around her.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Clare says with a heavy sigh loosening her grip on me suddenly.

"I'm just holding you, that's all we're doing," I tell as her as she turns in my arms and I release her a little so she can turn.

"No I mean us, if there even is an us, you'll just get hurt, or it will all go bad," she says starting to sound anxious again.

"Clare we haven't said what this is yet, it can't go bad," I try to assure her.

"Yes it can, there are plenty of ways it can go bad, not the least of which is the Terror Twins kidnapping me again, and don't tell me it can't happen because it can happen. Even if it doesn't what if I can't do anything, what if I just want you to hold me because I feel safe," she says rambling just a little.

"Then that's all we'll do, we don't need to do anything Clare," I say in comforting tone trying to assuage her fears but that seems to be a bit of a futile task at this point.

"You say that now but you're a guy, Eli said he'd be patient too and look how that turned out. You know how long it took me not to feel Reese and Fitz anymore I mean what if I can't even…" she's saying and then stops abruptly.

I'm about to ask what but she puts a hand on my shoulder and suddenly collides her lips with mine! I'm shocked for about a millisecond and then I relax and kiss her back, softly and without touching her more than I already am. Her lips stay closed and she remains slightly tense but she starts to relax and lingers in the kiss for about five seconds.

"Just wanted to be sure I could do that without feeling Reese, Fitz or even Eli," she explains when she breaks the kiss.

"And?"

"I just felt you," she smiles fingering the zipper on my Ice Hounds jacket.

"We'll take it as slow as you want, you have the reigns, you tell me what you're ready for but I'm not letting you go now," I say resting my fingers under her chin. "And I'm not backing out of this…whatever you want to call it because you're scared," I say in a firm tone and she grins.

"You can call it a relationship," she says very quietly and I smile, I want to kiss her again but I don't want to push her or scare her so I refrain. "I need to go to my locker and the bells going to ring soon," she says after gazing at me a few seconds.

"Okay then let's get you to your locker," I reply and stand up.

I take my jacket off and drape it on her shoulders; she smiles and pulls it around her. She takes my hand after I put my arm around her shoulders. We walk out of the storage room, Adam and Bianca are still on either side of the door but now they're sitting on the floor. When they see us come out they look up at us and both are grinning.

"You owe me ten bucks," Adam says to Bianca.

"That doesn't prove anything she's just wearing his jacket," Bianca argues as they both stand up.

"Are you two a couple yet or what?" Adam questions and I look at Clare.

"Yes," Clare smiles.

"And you owe me ten bucks," Adam says to Bianca again.

"You were betting on it?" I question.

"Betting on what you were talking about," Bianca clarifies.

"And you lost," I scold her lightly as she takes out her wallet and gives Adam a $10 bill.

"Never bet against the best friend," Bianca shrugs and Adam laughs.

The four of us walk to Clare's locker and stand around her as she opens it then she gasps and turns to me. She grips my shirt and hides her head in my chest; I put an arm around her as we all look into her locker. At first I don't see anything and then I notice a note taped to her locker door. It's the same card stock as the others and I take it from the door to look at it.

I knew you'd be at Adam's. Hope you like sleeping there. You won't be sleeping there for long soon you'll be sleeping in our arms again. Just remember we're always watching Precious and soon you'll be with us again, where you belong. Don't forget you belong to us, you will always belong to us and very soon we'll have you again.

I tighten my arm around Clare and look at Adam, "Get Turner now and summon the rest of the SSS," I order.

Adam takes off running and Bianca gets out her cell phone.

Update March 6th from about here.

March 6th is a Thursday, when Friends with Benefits ends the new story will be moved to Sunday. Thursday and Friday will be for one shots and short stories. An updated schedule will be posted on my profile page next week.