A/N: Gak.
I'M SO SORRY, GUYS! *bows* I totally forgot that I had to post this! Please forgive me! Here, take it! *pushes chapter forward* I promise to update again sooner!
Chapter Three
"You still refuse to forgive me, don't you, Japan?" Germany asked quietly, his face frozen in a mask of indifference. The man just smiled at him sadly.
"Have you seen Hiroshima yet, Germany? My people are well known for their tenacity. Come to my place later and I'll show you why I cannot forgive you." Japan said simply after a long pause.
Germany gave him a sad smile in return, doing his best to hide the pain he felt at his old friend's words. He hadn't expected the man to forgive him. After all, he had counted Feliciano-no, he was just Italy now; he didn't deserve to use his old friend's human name-as his best friend, and he hadn't forgiven him. Why would Japan be any better?
"I don't understand why you blame me over America. He dropped the bombs, not me."
Japan shrugged. "Perhaps, but the bombs were a warning for you. Besides, what you did to Feliciano? That can never be forgiven." The man turned away from his former friend and ally before he could see the way the other man flinched at the reminder of what had happened to the Italian.
The German couldn't disguise his relief when he saw Japan walk away. As lonely and hurt as he was, he would rather remain alone than allow the others to see his true emotions. Gott, Feli. I'm so sorry... he thought as he felt a tear slide down his face.
No, it was better to be alone. He couldn't hurt anyone if he was alone...
He still has your fucking cross! Think about that when he finally breaks! The words refused to leave Italy's mind. Lud-Germany would never be that weak or sentimental. This was the man who'd shot him three times, after all, despite promising to be Italy's friend and to never hurt him.
The wounds still hurt, both literally and figuratively. The bullets had torn through his shoulder and stomach, destroying the blood vessels and muscles in their path. All three would leave scars, but the worst scars were the ones left in his mind.
No, there was no way that Germany would have kept the iron cross that the hurt Italian had thrown to the blood stained battlefield. No way that the harsh German could ever break...
But something about Prussia's face, his eyes, during the conversation made Italy doubt the German's strength. There had been panic and even fear in those normally cocky and fearless red eyes. Prussia didn't scare easily; even when he'd been told of the decision to dissolve his state he'd just grinned arrogantly and tried to start a betting ring to see how long his country would remain dissolved for.
Germany just didn't look hurt, though... He looked as cold and hard as always... Dio! He didn't know what to think anymore... he wished that he'd never heard of Germany. Life had been so simple before...
Germany tried to hide the shock and horror on his face as he took in the ruins. The bomb had destroyed all the buildings in its path and reduced the once proud and busy Japanese city to rubble. Japan watched his former ally's face warily and frowned as he saw a flicker of pain cross the proud features. Such emotion was unusual coming from the German.
"Now you see why it's not so easy to forgive..." The embodiment of Japan murmured as he knelt amongst the wreckage and pulled a charred object from the ashes. "This was once the school district, it's the place that the bomb fell..." Japan placed the object in Germany's hands.
Germany stared at the broken doll in his hands. What had once been a beloved children's toy was now shattered and barely recognisable.
"They were just children, Germany." Japan whispered, face full of pain. "I can't forgive that."
Suddenly, it was all too much for Germany. "I'm sorry, Japan... I've got to go..." The man murmured softly as he tried to keep himself under control. He had to get out of there... He tried to keep his pace slow when he turned and bolted, dropping the doll to the ground as he did so.
More blood on his hands... More innocent blood... His hands were stained with it...
Japan frowned as he watched the German vanish into the distance. He'd never seen Germany like that before... He sighed and bent to place the doll back in its place amongst the wreckage. If the German was finally feeling guilty, it wasn't his responsibility to make him feel better. He deserved the guilt...
It wasn't working, they would never forgive him... Germany sighed sadly before taking another gulp of beer. The ground around him was littered with empty bottles from his attempts to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Nothing was working...
Would anyone even care if he just faded? Would they miss him? Or would they just be glad that he was gone? Germany didn't know anymore... Maybe it would be better like that... The pain wasn't getting any better anyway...
It would be so easy to just let go... And it would be for the best as well... He wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again...
The German pulled Italy's iron cross out of his breast pocket and stared at the gleaming metal sadly. He had never thought that it would end like this... Germany had tried to push himself to his feet, intent on finding the gun that had injured Italy. He had kept that gun, unable to throw away the device of his destruction. It would become that literally now.
His legs wouldn't hold him though and he fell to the ground with an angry cry. Even God himself was against him... He wouldn't lose this time. No, he wouldn't lose again...not again...
The German smashed the bottle in his hands against the floor with a harsh sob. The glass shattered readily against the hard surface and lay in jagged shards at Germany's side. With tears streaming down his face, the German selected one of the larger slivers of broken glass and held it up to his eyes.
The swaying iron cross tore his gaze from the glimmering green glass. The necklace still hung from his fist and a sob ripped through Germany's frame as he brought the symbol to his lips.
"Ich liebe dich... I'm sorry..." He sobbed as gripped the makeshift blade and pressed it to the inside of the wrist that refused to release the necklace. "Please forgive me..."
A/N: I forgot to mention this before, but for those of you who don't know: Feliciano is Italy, Lovino is Romano, Gilbert is Prussia, Ludwig is Germany, and Ivan is Russia (his name popped up last chapter. I don't know if it comes up again. :P). I'll be (hopefully) posting the human names at the end of the chapters.
Also, I will be posting some translations at the end of every chapter as well. This chapter has some, but they're kinda no-brainers. Oh, well. Here they are:
Dio(Italian): God
Ich liebe dich(German): I love you
Gott(German): God
