Heath
I was loading the last sack on the wagon and was ready to go back to the ranch when I saw her. My heart lost a beat. Hester Converse, herself. I watched her give a look around as if to make sure no one could see her and she quickly entered the hotel.
Hester, one of the most beautiful and charming women I had ever known, the one who had nearly ruined forever one of the things I valued most in the world, the bond that tied my brother Nick's soul and mine.
She had run away weeks ago and I thought I'd never seen her again. She had gone back to the city where she belonged. Back to her life made of parties and dances, champagne, beautiful clothes, and fun. Back to having all the men at her feet. She wasn't meant to be a rancher's wife, or maybe she wasn't meant to be a wife altogether. Of one thing I was sure, I didn't want her to be Nick's wife.
After what had happened at Indian Springs, I doubt I'd ever be able to fix our relationship.
"Don't you ever touch me!", he had told me.
During Nick's recovery, I'd hear his words of hatred in my head, each of them a stab in my heart.
"Don't you ever touch me!"
It would happen at the oddest moments. I was hurled back in time, then, before my eyes the painful sight of a broken Nick, his growl in my ears.
He was delirious, when he spoke those words. I had provoked his injury to save my life.
Hester was in tears, she came out from the woods ripping her dress with on branch, running into my arms. She was out of herself, sobbing, crying, unable to speak properly.
It was then that Nick saw us.
He jumped on me like a wild animal, like the wolf had done with him, his powerful blows hitting me without mercy. His strong hands were around my neck. I fought to free myself but it was impossible. I couldn't breathe, I was choking to death.
From where I was, I watched the face of the man I admired most in the world loom over me. Every trace of humanity had been erased from that face. It was cold like stone, his mouth a straight line, his eyes void of any light.
I heard her voice, Hester's voice, pleading Nick to let go of me but he just wouldn't.
Was this really happening? Was I Abel, dying by the hand of Cain? No, it couldn't be, I wouldn't let it happen. I had just begun to live after years of being no one and I wouldn't give up. I wanted to live.
Someone tried to pull him away from me one time, two times. The second time he used his arm to get rid of him and I took my chance. I collected what was left of my strength and kicked him off me.
I watched him fly and fall, crumbling down in the ditch, rolling down and down stopping at the bottom, landing on a large rock. He stayed there unable to move his back twisted in an unnatural arch.
Nick
Jealousy. I had never dealt with that feeling before. It's a slimy snake wriggling its way inside your veins, poisoning your blood. Once the poisoned blood reaches your head, it makes your brain explode and the explosion causes blindness.
That's what happened to me. I couldn't see my brother in front of me because I was blind. That's why I never gave him a chance to explain what had happened. That's why I jumped on him and actually tried to kill him.
I blamed Heath for Hester's faults. Because I was hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her.
That's why I was reliving that cursed night in my dreams again and again. The tragic outcome I dealt with in my dreams didn't really happen, but could very possibly have.
The deep sense of loss I woke up to was real. Because I had really lost a part of myself when I had chosen Hester over Heath one time, and I had chosen her once again, over my whole family.
Then, eventually, Nick healed and came to his senses.
We were in the parlor chatting and laughing, that evening. I was so happy. Nick was on the mend and our family warmth, our closeness was there again.
Silas announced dinner was served, so Audra was ready to help Nick with his wheelchair, but he decided that was the right moment to show us he was ready to walk again.
As we were all watching holding our breath, he stood. I could see how painful it was to him and how hard, but Nick is as stubborn as they come, just like any other Barkley.
When he fatally lost his balance I was right there in front of him. I quickly closed the distance between us and he almost fell in my arms. I was there to catch him. Nick grabbed onto me and I sustained him, I'd never let him fall. Our eyes met, I smiled at him.
"Thanks, Heath", he said.
Those two words were all I needed to hear. Just two words that meant the world to me.
At that point, we were holding on to each other. Our eyes were still engaged. We didn't say a word, but I knew what he was saying because I could feel it in my heart: "I am sorry for all that happened. I know I can trust you. You're my brother and I love you".
When we parted, I could see how the whole scene had affected those around us. They were all touched. Mother's eyes were glowing with unshed tears.
My heart rejoiced at the strong feeling of belonging those eyes instilled in me.
In a few days, it was like nothing had ever happened. Any tension between Nick and me melted away like snow in the sun. We were brothers again.
When she went away, I was tied down in the contraption Heath had made for me. I couldn't move my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her ride away and I knew it was forever.
My heart was broken.
Just outside the tent, I could see Heath, discretely present as always.
Hester had talked and talked but that was the moment I really realized. I saw who Hester really was, what Heath had done, what I had done to him.
I closed my eyes and silently cried. For Heath, for Hester, and especially for myself.
Then days passed and I healed, both from my physical injury and from my broken heart. My family was there, all of them, for me.
I remember the day I tried to walk again. My still weak legs gave away, but Heath was there and he wouldn't let me fall. Like always, he had my back.
For a long moment, we looked into each other's eyes. It was then that I saw into my brother's soul. In those few seconds, I felt what he was feeling. It was a strong, unwavering feeling of loyalty and love.
He shot me his little smile and I felt the need to tell him I was sorry, that I trusted him with my life. To tell him he was my brother and that I loved him.
But I didn't.
"Thanks, Heath", was all I was able to say.
Heath
Hester. Hester was here again. I left the wagon where it was and marched toward the hotel. In that short time a rage like I had never felt before began to burn in my gut, quickly turning into a wildfire. I was angry. I'm not the kind of man who'd ever hurt a woman, but she had caused so much suffering to my family, to my brother and to me.
The clerk, a short mid-aged man with a little dark hair left on the top of his head, was writing something in his register. I tried my best to speak calmly but I couldn't help a slight tremor in my voice.
"What room is Miss Converse in?"
"Converse? I don't believe we have a Miss Converse".
"Hester Converse. I saw her come here, she entered the hotel a few minutes ago. She must be on the register", I said while a senseless fear gripped my heart.
The man studied his book for a little while, then looked at me.
"I am sorry we have no Miss Converse in our hotel, Mister".
It was then that I heard her voice. She was descending the staircase giving instructions for her dinner. She stopped as soon as she saw me. As our eyes met, she winced.
"I'll have dinner in my room, please", she said, never diverting her eyes from mine.
"Certainly, Mrs. Barkley", the clerk said.
