Chapter Three: Temptation
I knelt for meditation in the darkness, accustomed to the gloom after long weeks of training. The cold stone walls around me felt comforting, offering secure protection from the dangers of the outside world. They were marred by battle scars, collateral damage from numerous lightsaber battles. The saberstaff attached to my belt was the weapon of a Sith, stored in the library's armory. Though thousands of years old, the red blade hadn't diminished in strength. To hone my power, I recited the Sith Code.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.
Its words sent fearful chills down my spine, leading to a chain reaction of paranoia and anger. I began to stalk the halls, making me feel less like I was the one being hunted. Exar Kun had been drawing creatures in from the jungle to test me, and the library was now full of monstrous creatures. A never-ending onslaught of enemies to push my endurance and my sanity. I could feel them all around me, their life force burning through the darkness like smoldering coals. They stalked and crept through the hallways as I did, but I would not be prey for any beast or assassin.
The nexu found me quickly, leaping out with teeth snapping and claws tearing. The feline's hideous mouth was twisted into a gleeful smile that exposed hundreds of dagger-like teeth. I thrust with my saberstaff, the crimson blade mercilessly stabbing through its throat. Using its momentum, I twisted aside and threw the nexu into the wall. Quickly stooping to harvest its teeth and claws, I prepared to create another set of traps. I had been too overzealous in my last kill, and wasn't able to scavenge enough materials to make an effective trap for this one.
I was down to my last six explosive mines, but with the teeth and claws I was able to make another two 'enhanced' bombs. I had found that they created enough shrapnel for even the toughest creatures to be mortally wounded. I finished my work just in time to sense my Master's approach. The ghost of Exar Kun materialized behind me, and I spun around with my weapon at the ready; however, the apparition wasn't here to torment me.
"Apprentice, you have done well. This part of your trial is coming to an end," he said, "the assassin is nearly here. I have stopped drawing in jungle predators so you may prepare for her arrival. You are growing strong in the dark side, my child, but there is yet more to learn before you are ready to meet her."
I knelt before the ghost, but my anger was boiling over. He had been torturing me for weeks, honing my fear and paranoia to a dagger point. Corpses lined the halls, my only source of food during the entire ordeal. My own corruption was visible to me, my usual silver aura now stained bloody and black. My robes had been shredded down to a mere chest harness and loincloth, making me feel like a dark-dwelling beast. Exar Kun was my only hope of survival.
"Torr. I know you resent my methods, but can you not feel the power of the dark side within you? You are stronger than you ever have been, letting your sheer will to survive push you through gruelling ordeals."
Indignant as I was, my Master was correct. I was stronger than ever, even if that power was malformed and corrupted. Even Jona, with her powers, wouldn't be able to stop me now. Exar Kun moved into a fighting stance, which I mirrored. My Master was more proficient with a lightsaber than any of the Jedi I had trained under, and I knew that my skills had been advancing under his tutelage. Taking his style and making it my own, I was combining the fierce nature of the jungle predators with the serenity that came from wielding a lightsaber. I had fashioned gloves out of the skin, claws and teeth of my prey, using them to slash and rend. A part of me was eager to use them on Jona, make her regret her decision to hunt me. I was done being pursued.
Stab, slash, parry, reposition, attack. I duelled my ethereal Master for hours, lasting longer against him than I had ever managed to before he knocked me back and defeated me. I grinned, panting through blood-soaked and broken teeth. I was making progress. My Master, too, noted it.
"Torr, I do feel you're finally ready to face and defeat the Jedi assassin. The time of your conflict is fast approaching, and I have decided that the time of my ascension is nigh. You and I shall rise from these ruins together, as Master and Apprentice⦠after I possess the body of the Jedi."
A surge of elation ran through me. An opportunity to get off Yavin IV, apprenticed under such a mighty Lord was one that I would gladly take.
"Master, I would be honored to serve you. Will we kill the Jedi at the Praxeum? They may give us chase if they know we've escaped."
Exar Kun smiled, waves of malevolence radiating off of him.
"We shall slaughter them down to the last squealing child."
A twang of remorse threatened to destabilize the shroud of paranoia that had kept me whole during my ordeal. I refused to let it take hold, stomping down on the weakness that would undo my training. Exar Kun, sensitive and perceptive as ever, detected the minute conflict.
"It is imperative that we remove the Jedi prior to our ascension. They would send neverending tides of enemies against us, until we are ultimately killed. We must eradicate them here."
Bowing my head, I assented to my Master. It had to be done. The ghost nodded approvingly.
"Good. Now rest. You must be whole when the assassin arrives."
I dropped into a more secure resting stance and meditated, fear and darkness honing my killing edge. I ran through as many different combat scenarios with Jona as I could, imagining every trick and power she could use on me. Every little clue she had revealed in the past, I would use against her.
She approached late in the day, with darkness covering the jungle above. Jona was nearly silent, but I could feel her light burning against the darkness. Pure and blue, more radiant than ever, she nearly burned my sight. I stayed kneeling on the ground, wallowing in squalor and death. As my former lover approached, she was obviously disgusted. When her eyes fell upon me, she stopped in her tracks.
"Torr?" came her weak voice, "Please speak to me."
"Jona," i said, my voice cracking. "You found me."
She rushed forward, arms outstretched to embrace me. As she wrapped her arms around me, I ignited one blade of my saber with the crimson blade extended towards her chest. Breaking off to the side, she dodged out of the way and immediately had her viridian saber blade out.
"Don't do this," she warned, "please don't fight. Let me help you. I can take you home."
"Do what you came to do, assassin!" I yelled, rushing forward to duel her with my single blade. I slammed into her saber, and the claws extended from my gloves. I shot them forward with telekinetic force, the claws lodging themselves in Jona's face and chest. Crying out with pain, she shoved me back with a very powerful burst of energy and ripped them out of her body. Not as effective as I'd hoped.
"I didn't come to kill you, Torr! I came to find you and help you!"
Ignoring her words, I lunged forward and felt my attack diverted by a powerful barrier she was putting up with the force. I could see it flowing around her, a bubble of protective energy. Snarling and turning my single saber into a double-bladed saberstaff, I threw my hand out to begin puncturing a hole in her defenses. Jona didn't stand by and let me attack her however, and released a blinding flash of energy that left me momentarily stunned. I regained my senses just in time to parry her attack as she rushed in to disarm me- literally.
Swinging the blade around, I launched a continuous assault to keep her on the defensive and not able to use Force powers on me. The red blade hummed and screamed as it struck the ground, the walls, and her saber. Jona's stance was hard and serious as she fended off my attack, an enormous difference from the kind and gentle, non-threatening stance I had seen on her before. Rage fuelled my attacks as I hammered on her guard, looking for the opening to end the battle and allow my Master to possess her.
Turning the tables on me, Jona fell backwards as I swung, dropping to the ground and planted her foot on my chest. She used the momentum of my swing to kick me further, rolling backwards and using the Force to propel me. I went head over heels, flung into the far wall. My lightsabers deactivated when I hit the wall and fell down, immediately crushed by a prison of intense gravity. Jona was using the technique I had used against her in our duel, but magnitudes more powerful. Both of her hands were outstretched towards me, firmly pressing down as she kept me pinned.
"I was warned about this!" she screamed at me, grief staining her words, "I was trained in secret to be the one to bring you down if you ever turned! Do you know how painful it was for me, being trained to kill the one I loved more than anything, even myself? You never noticed! You were always so smug, so convinced that you were superior because you didn't follow the Code! But you weren't superior! You fell to the dark side the moment you were exposed to the real world, and all of your rebellious 'neutrality' didn't help you!"
I could feel the stones around me fracturing and I wasn't able to breathe as Jona crushed the life out of me. I couldn't even look up, my face pressed into the ground. I was pushing back against her as hard as I could, but Jona was simply too powerful in the Force. At least, in the ways of the Jedi. One of the holocrons I had learned from detailed the ability to absorb Force energy from living victims- and Jona was a bounty.
As I harnessed the power, I felt a hunger well up inside of me that I channeled towards Jona. A bolt of black energy connected us as I leeched her power, Jona's face turning from stern to surprised as she felt her energy being drained. As she weakened, I became more powerful until I was able to stand up and force her to her knees. Jona could barely move as I siphoned more of her energy, and reached out with the Force to grip her by the throat.
When Jona was on her knees and at my mercy, I pointed the tip of my saber at her chest. She weakly struggled against my invisible grip, feeling the life being squeezed out of her body. With my victory secure, the ghost of Exar Kun appeared behind me and Jona's eyes went wide. Her eyes flicked between us and she shook her head pleadingly.
"Please." was all she could rasp. Exar Kun cackled.
"Foolish Jedi! My apprentice has surpassed your power, and your need for mercy. He has given your body to me as a regal gift. I can feel your connection to the Force is strong. This is good, you will serve me well. Together, Torr and I shall re-forge a mighty Empire! The days of Exar Kun shall begin anew!"
Tears rolled across Jona's cheeks as she stared at me. Memories kicked and struggled in the back of my mind, of happy days spent with her and my friends. Of the Masters who always treated me so kindly. Of the endless patience and peace they shared. And I was betraying all of that in the worst way. I could feel Jona sharing these memories with me as her life ebbed away.
I could see Jona standing before Master Skywalker and Master Korgan. She had just finished constructing her lightsaber and received Knighthood in secret.
"We feel Torr has begun down a dangerous path. Follow him." Came the voice of Master Skywalker. "There are still dark places within these jungles that may overpower him. You must guide him towards the light at all times. And no matter what, you must never lose patience. Let him know he will always be safe here, and that he has a home among us."
Jona bowed and traveled through the jungle, searching for signs of my passing. Sometimes she would spend days in the jungle at a time before returning to the temple. She even made it to the crystal caves I had searched for, but found no trace of me. Jona's powers let her stride through the jungle unseen, never having to take a life during her travels. It was then that she felt a beacon of immense dark power, appearing as if out of nowhere.
He's been manipulating you. She said into my mind. I was never sent to kill you. He kept you hidden until he felt you were too far down the dark path to turn back, but I know you can still stop. Please, help me.
My grip on her throat slackened slightly. I knew that Exar Kun had lured me here, and I believed Jona's suggestion that Exar Kun had kept me hidden. But there was no way I could go back home. Not after falling like this, and trying to kill Jona. They would never trust me again. I had to commit. I had to protect myself now.
But the Jedi histories suggested villains far more corrupt than me had been saved. Darth Vader, butcher of billions, had saved himself. I was not so far gone that I would kill my closest friend. Lowing my hand, I released my grip on Jona and stopped draining her Force power. Igniting both sides of my saber, I whirled around to face Exar Kun. Lashing out, the spirit summoned his blade and locked with me. His face was a harsh snarl.
"After all I have done to protect you, you turn on me now? I will crush you into dust."
I used the same Force draining technique on Exar Kun, his incorporeal body reacting strongly to it. The blue hue of his body began to fade and get pulled into me. His power was enormous, and I was barely tasting the surface of it. With a scream, the ghost retreated, severely weakened. I reversed the power, turning to Jona and flooding her with power. I returned everything I had taken from her, along with what I had absorbed from Exar Kun.
"Jona, help me." I implored her.
She got back to her feet, igniting her brilliant green blade as she faced down the weakened ghost of Exar Kun. Not giving me a verbal answer, she instead charged at him. I was right alongside her as I swung at my Master, forcing him to fight us both. I would weaken him with my draining powers, and Jona would assault him with lightside energies. The mighty Sith Lord was being defeated, and he knew it. Exar Kun created a ring of fire around him, forcing Jona and I to step back.
"You shall both die here!" Rang the ghost's angry cry.
The library began to shake and crumble as Exar Kun tore it apart, forcing me and Jona to flee. Cracks spread across the floor and walls, sending chunks clattering to the floor. The two of us sprinted away, charging down the halls as fast as our feet and the Force could carry us. Clasping hands, Jona and I had our weapons away as we held our free hands in front of us, projecting a protective bubble of the Force. Many corridors had already collapsed and were blocked off, but I knew the entire layout of the library and took us down a safer route towards safety.
The air became warmer and more humid as we approached the surface, eventually coming to the room I had first fallen down. Sunlight beamed through the hole in the ceiling, and we leaped up through that same opening. A plume of dust followed us as the room below fully collapsed. The stone plateau was cracked all the way across, and the center area was dipping down as the structure below caved in on itself.
Jona and I stumbled away from the site, finding relative safety on the edge of the jungle, the fresh air around me feeling warm and welcoming. Jona helped me stand up and clean off. Her hands were gentle and soothing as they passed over weeks-old wounds. Shame stuck in my throat like bile, stopping any words I might have come up with. Before we left, Jona gestured to my ruined tent that was scattered at the edge of the plateau. It had been shredded by wild beasts, but she lifted the wooden box containing my unfinished lightsaber out and pulled it over to us. She stashed it within her pouch as we departed.
Guiding us into the jungle, she seemed to know her way through the foliage as she led us to a stream with clear running water. There were no predators as we walked through the trees, Jona's presence masking our travel. It was far more peaceful than I had ever known the jungle to be.
The water ran muddy red as I scrubbed off dirt, dust and blood. My skin itself was soiled, the dark side physically staining my body. My veins ran black, and bruising covered my chest and back. After I was cleaned, I stripped off what meager clothing I still had on and tossed them aside. Going in the nude would be more dignified than wearing those filthy rags.
I felt hollow, like everything I thought i knew about the universe had been proven false. As the shadows no longer obscured my thoughts, I could see with perfect clarity what a monster I had nearly become. In my state of constant panic and paranoia, I was convinced that I had fallen beyond any hope of redemption. But now I could see how shallowly I had tasted the dark side, and how corruptible and depraved even that brief dip could be.
We continued to travel through the jungle, my hand feeling gaunt and brittle in Jona's. I was astounded by her, as she sternly strode through the jungle. She radiated stoicism and authority, but her grip on me was gentle. There was no easy topic to bring up, but I had to ask her about our conversation back in the library.
"How long have you been receiving secret training?" I asked.
"Three years." came her reply, her voice betraying her sadness. "When you first started to be vocal about your desire to not be a Jedi. The Masters knew you wouldn't suspect me if you heard rumors about secret training."
"You held so much back during our duel." I remarked.
"I couldn't tip anybody off that I had so much more training. It was deceptive, but that's a talent of mine." Her last remark sounded bitter. I had always known she was secretive and stealthy, but I never imagined she was hiding so much from me. The conversation dropped off at that point and we stayed quiet all of the way back to the Praxeum. I felt totally disgraced walking back through those doors, several people noting my return and stopping to stare. Mercifully, Master Korgan was not nearby, I could feel him with the other Masters in the main audience chamber. No doubt discussing what to do with me.
Jona escorted me to my room, and got a fresh set of clothes for me. She also laid the box she had recovered from my tent on my desk. When I got dressed, the tan robe felt too clean, too soft on my skin. I still had my Sith saberstaff, unsure of what to do with it. It still radiated dark energy, but I couldn't bring myself to destroy it. I was suddenly struck with a powerful desire to leave. To put myself far from the Jedi and the jungle and everything here. If I visited the crystal caves, as I had originally planned, I could construct my lightsaber and leave.
I felt the Masters approaching. I steeled myself for what they would say. Master Skywalker entered first, along with Masters Korgan, Katarn and Dak. I could see they all had lightsabers strapped to their belt, and I had never known them to be armed except for training situations. I was boxed in, and felt they would execute me at a single wrong move. I hadn't seen Master Kyle Katarn in years, though I certainly heard of his exploits. He had accomplished numerous nigh-legendary feats among the Jedi, and was considered the most masterful lightsaber duellist.
Instead of taking a stern, cautious stance like Korgan, Dak and Skywalker, Katarn strode over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder. He, unlike the blues and golds of the other Masters, was shock-gray like me, though his aura was brighter than mine. I could feel sympathy coming off him, genuinely comforting and reassuring.
"Torr. I'm glad to see you're safe. I can feel your shame and regret, and I know that feeling well. I have had numerous brushes with the dark side. I have fallen and come back, and I understand the impact it has on your spirit. Your path is forged as you walk it, and you have come back to us. Going to the dark side can be subtle, or it can be dramatic- but it is never permanent. You're going to be fine, Torr, and I'm proud of you."
Katarn's words shook and bit deep into me, and I couldn't help but sob. The Jedi pulled me into his shoulder and let me work out the shame I felt. I was able to get it under control, taking several deep breaths and straightening up. All I could croak out was a 'Thank you'.
"This isn't the end, Torr, it's a new beginning. As of now I am your Master." Katarn said. "But we're not staying. Your training will continue, but not here. I have need of an apprentice, and I think you and I can do the most for each other."
I nodded. Relief flooded me, as I had feared exile or some other form of punishment. Being apprenticed to Master Katarn was the highest form of forgiveness.
"Yes, Master Katarn. I- I had thought I would be exiled."
"That was my suggestion." came Dak's curt reply, but a sharp glance from Master Korgan silenced him.
"You're not lost, Torr." said Master Skywalker. "You simply need more guidance. You were exposed to the dark side for several weeks, and you require spiritual healing. Master Katarn can sympathize with what you're going through, and he can help you find peace again."
"Call me Kyle, Torr." said Master Katarn. "And there is the matter of your lightsaber. You shouldn't continue to carry the Sith weapon. Construct your own, and it will be truly yours."
Master Korgan lifted the Sith saberstaff and pulled it over to him, stashing it within his robes. It would likely be taken to a vault and sealed, or destroyed outright. The box with the unfinished lightsaber once again called to me, waiting to be filled with crystals. It offered a chance at redemption, the opportunity to prove that I was committed to not walking the dark path.
"You'll leave tomorrow." Kyle said, "Get some rest, and I'll get you in the morning."
Kyle and the other Masters left my room, leaving me feeling exhausted. I collapsed on my bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
