Spencer drove up to the park and seen Toby already waiting for her. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face as she seen him walk towards her car. He threw his bag into the backseat, so that it landed softly next to hers, before climbing into the passenger seat.
"I feel bad." He said.
"Why? Don't you want to stay at the hotel? I don't mind, I'll stay there myself."
"No it's not that." He shook his head at her, silently wondering how she could think that he didn't want to spend as much time with her as possible. "I meant that you're always the one driving."
"I don't mind." Spencer shrugged. "I kind of like how driving feels. You can pretend that you're driving away from everything."
"It's not as fun as it sounds." Toby muttered. "You wouldn't like it. You don't deserve to feel that lonely. And I promise you, I will never let you feel that lonely."
"Thank you." She said not sure what else to say.
"So what did your parents say?"
"Well I'm sure they won't be too happy. But I didn't speak to them, I think they were away out to see if they could find me, so I left them a note."
"A note?" Toby laughed.
"What's so wrong with a note? I just said that I was staying at Hanna's, and that I would call tomorrow. And it's not like they were in for me to speak to them, well Melissa's car was there so she might have been in the barn, but I didn't really want to check there."
"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Toby asked.
"No." Spencer shook her head, while still looking at the road.
"Why are you so sure it was Ian with Alison?"
She accidently hit the brakes then, causing the car behind her to honk. She drove on shaking her head, trying to formulate an answer. She wanted to be honest with him, tell him all about the video but that would mean telling him about A, and she just wasn't sure that she could. One it wasn't her secret to tell, and secondly how was she meant to explain that she was being tormented by someone because of secrets. Secrets are kept quiet for a reason, and she just wasn't sure he would still be there if he knew everything about her.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"No, it's OK." Spencer sighed keeping her eyes on the road, she might be a strong person, but she wasn't sure that she could look him in the eye while she told him a half truth. "That summer, Ian was dating my sister at the start of it... but... he... erm well he liked younger girls."
"Meaning Ali." Toby said.
"Yeah, we found a tree where Ali had carved a heart about her and Ian."
"That could have been a crush thing."
"I know." Spencer sighed, and knowing she couldn't say about the video decided to go with the other bit of evidence she knew "But it wasn't just Ali."
"Who?" he asked glancing over at her, and seen her steely gaze on the road, realisation sinking in. "You?"
"Yeah." Spencer whispered. "It was a stupid mistake, one I regret so much more now."
"Is that why you and Melissa aren't on the best terms?"
"No, we were never exactly the "tell all" sister's." She shook her head. "And she didn't know about Ian... at least not until recently. But she did... There was someone else as well. Wren, her fiancé, we... we kissed. I mean I pulled back, but not straight away... and part of me didn't want to. In a twisted way, it was like he was picking me over and Melissa, and no-one had ever done that. It felt nice to wanted, it felt like he cared, and it was nice, especially after the funeral."
They lapsed into silencer, Toby contemplating what Spencer had just said, and Spencer waiting for Toby to say that he never wanted to see her again. And could she blame him? She had kissed two of her sister's boyfriends, what kind of person does that?
"So he kissed two fifteen year old's?" Toby asked. "No wonder you don't want to be around him."
"That's it?" Spencer asked shocked. "You don't think that I'm... It's a pretty rotten thing to kiss two of your sister's boyfriend's."
Toby just looked at her. "Spencer, we might have crazy lives, and we might be more mature than other's because of it, but you are still a teenage girl. They were the older ones. Besides who can blame them for liking you? It's not like it's your fault they liked you better than your sister."
She laughed slightly at that. "You're the first one not to blame me, I blame me. But I'm sort of tired of talking about this, maybe we should talk about how I'm going to kick your ass at scrabble."
"I'm guessing that would be in your dreams." He laughed back.
"Hey! I was just... having an off day last time."
"You came up with glyceraldehyde."
"So? That could be an off day word."
"No it's not, it's not even a word that normally comes up in a friendly game of scrabble."
"Maybe not when you play."
"More like only when you play."
"It's a common word!"
"If you say so."
"It is!" she moped back, casting a glance at him, seeing his small smile "Stop smiling like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you think I'm crazy."
"Not crazy exactly, just highly competitive."
She rolled her eyes looking back at the road and seen that they were at the motel, she quickly indicated that she was pulling in and parked quickly. They grabbed their bags and headed towards the office, to see if they could get a room.
"We should re-name this our room." Toby said putting their bags down on the chair, he had insisted that he carry Spencer's bag for her, and after some argument (well Spencer shouting at Toby, and him just calmly standing there) Spencer finally caved in.
"I can't believe they gave us the same one." Spencer laughed sitting down on the bed, trying to get the memories of the last time they were here out of her head. The memory of waking up with her hand over his stomach, and the butterflies she felt, and then the kiss...
"Spencer?" Toby's voice pulled her from her daydream. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah! I'm fine." She replied as her phone chimed. She froze momentarily, before picking up, relief washing over her when she seen that it was just her mother. She opened it biting her lip slightly.
Spencer, we need to talk. I expect you home early tomorrow morning, you can stay at Hanna's tonight, but I want you home for breakfast tomorrow. –Mom.
"My Mom." Spencer explained, seeing Toby looking at her. "She wants me home tomorrow morning."
"Is something wrong?"
"No." Spencer shook her head. "I just... said some things to her before I left."
"What?"
"Some rather horrible home truths." Spencer shrugged "I know they were uncalled for, but I just got so fed up of everyone acting like I'm the biggest disappointment ever. It's like no matter what I do, I'm never going to be enough for them. Everything I do... It always seems to be the wrong thing. I know I screw up sometimes... but I try so hard to be what I'm meant to be."
"No you don't." Toby cut in.
"What?" Spencer asked shocked, somewhat surprised that he had commented on her speech, he normally just let her rant on, and sat there. And she listened when he had a problem, and she sat with him when all he needed was to be with someone, and not be the town outcast.
"I don't think you try to be who you're meant to be."
"And what's that supposed to mean. I try so hard at school, I do so many extra curricular's that..."
"I know. I know you try hard at all of that. But that's the Hasting's part of you. Have you ever tried just being Spencer?"
"What's so great about Spencer?" she shrugged. "Sometimes... sometimes I forget what she's like. I try to be the perfect daughter, I try to be the person the girls expect me to be, I try to be strong for them, because we need someone to remind us that in all of the mess, we do have hope, I try to be the perfect student because that's what everyone else expects me to be. I don't really have time to be Spencer."
"I think that's the saddest thing ever." Toby said sitting next to her, gently taking her hand in his. "You don't need to be anything else other than you. Your scary smart, you can stand up for yourself, but still let those close to you help when you need it, you come up with the fastest quips out of anyone I know, you are a loyal friend... Just look at where you are. Here with me, even when the family you so desperately want to please told you not to talk to me. I don't think you need to strive to be better Spencer, I think everyone needs to accept you the way you are, because I like this Spencer, not the Spencer you try to be."
"I..." Spencer whispered trying to formulate a way to say how much that meant to her. He accepted her. Her. Just simply her, not everything she tried to be, just simply who she already was. But she didn't form an answer, almost on instinct she leaned over and pressed her lips softly to Toby's. She felt her eyes flutter close, as his hand came up to cup her face. Like their last kiss, it was soft and sweet, each of them pouring their feelings into it.
When they pulled back Spencer rested her head against Toby's, she just smiled shyly with him. Spencer was by no means a shy girl, but she was a guarded one, she never really liked being completely open with people, she was with Alison, and all that had got her was Ali trying to manipulate her with the secret that she always threatened to reveal. But when she was with Toby... she didn't feel scared, she knew that she could trust him, which still seemed to foreign to her.
"So, scrabble re-match?" Toby quipped raising one of his eyebrows.
Spencer nodded "And be warned this time I won't go easy!"
"One more game?" Spencer pleaded.
"No." Toby replied calmly.
"Oh come on! Best three out of five!"
"We've played twelve games."
"Yeah but we won six times. One more game and we'd have a winner!"Spencer exclaimed.
"No."
"But we need to!"
"No."
"One more game? Where's the harm in that?"
"You said that seven games ago."
"Not even if I promise not to make you play again?"
"No."
"You're no fun." Spencer pouted trying to see if that would work.
"Says the girl who was glaring holes into the board."
"So I get a little completive." Spencer shrugged.
"A little?" Toby laughed.
"Well, if you're not going to play I'm going to get changed." She said pushing herself from the bed. She walked over to where their bags lay and opened hers, pausing at the contents. In her haste to be gone before her parents came back, she had grabbed the first set of pyjamas she could find the one's hidden under her pillows. But then she remembered why she had hid them.
"Is that my shirt?" Toby laughed, looking over her shoulder.
"It's rude to look in a girls bag!" Spencer shot back.
"It's rude to steal someone's top."
"It's not like you asked for it back."
"Someone's getting defensive."
"I am not! Besides you gave it to me."
"Didn't know you were going to keep it."
"How can you stay so calm during an argument?"
"We're not having one, you're just being defensive." He shrugged. "I really don't care if you keep it or not. It looks on better on you anyway."
She scrunched up her nose at him, picking it up along with the shorts she had brought, and walked towards the bathroom. She changed quickly, but as she walked back towards the main part of the room, she seen that Toby had cleared away the scrabble board. She rolled her eyes, and sat down on the bed, with him joining her soon after when he had changed into his pyjama bottoms, leaving his chest bare, Spencer felt her breath hitch, but she swallowed it down.
"So what now?" Spencer asked. "Flip a coin to see who wins?"
"Or we can call it a draw. Well one of us can anyway."
"Is that a challenge?" Spencer laughed back.
"No. It's a fact." He smirked back, so that she hit him on the shoulder, but he caught her hand and Spencer glanced up, her eyes meeting his. They both stayed still for a moment. Not wanting to be the one to break such a tentative moment. But ultimately it wasn't up to either of them, as before they knew it, someone was chapping the door.
"Manager?" Toby suggested.
"So long as it's not the cleaning we bribed."
"You bribed." Toby amended as Spencer stood up to answer the door.
"Potato, potatoe" Spencer shrugged, opening the door, then she felt the smile instantly fall from her lips.
"M... Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?" she tried to ask calmly but it came it out on a panicked tone.
"What are we doing here? What are you doing here Spencer?" her father asked. "We phoned Ashley to make sure that you were alright and she mentioned that you weren't staying there, that she hadn't seen you all day. Then we got home to find a note from someone called 'A' telling us to check at this motel. What are you doing here Spencer? Aside from everything else you've done, do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a teenage girl to stay herself?"
And that was when they heard movement from inside the room.
"Unless, said sixteen year old isn't alone." Her mother cut in. "Spencer, who is in the room?"
"It's... It's... It's..." She stuttered trying to think of a reasonable excuse, but she knew that she was doomed. 'A' had once again managed to mess something else up.
"Spencer, let us into the room right now." Her father ordered.
"I... I'll come home, right now! Just let me get my bag and..."
"Spencer." Both her parents ordered in sync, and with a feeling of dread she stepped aside, and let her parents into the room, felling her sense of dread increase, she knew there was no way she was getting away with this.
"Toby Cavanaugh, Spencer?" Veronica asked, looking straight at her daughter. "I thought we agreed you weren't going to see him again."
"I never said that." Spencer replied quickly looking at Toby. "I didn't."
"And you." Her mother rounded on Toby. "If you cared for my daughter at all, which I'm not sure you do, you would know how damaging it is for her to be seen with you."
"Mom no-one seen us." Spencer pointed out.
"And what if someone had seen Spencer? This isn't the time for teenage rebellion."
"No! It's a time when I need my friends, and you were asking me to give one of them up. You wouldn't ask me to stop seeing Hanna, Em or Aria, it's not fair to ask me not to..."
"Veronica." Peter cut in looking between his daughters outfit, and to the shirtless boy on the bed. "I think we might be looking at more than friends."
"Wha..." Spencer started to ask then seen where her father's gaze was resting, on her wearing a top that was clearly not hers, while Toby was not wearing one. "No! That's not what happened! I got this la..."
She paused then biting her lip, realising too late how much she had slipped up. In her need to defend Toby, and their friendship, she may have just ruined it.
"Last time?" he mother guessed the rest of that sentence. "We're going home now Spencer, get you're things."
"But..."
"Now Spencer." Her Mom barked, picking up her daughters bag before leaving the room "I wouldn't test us right now Spencer, you can come home with us, we'll come back for your car."
Her mother walked out, leaving Spencer with one option left.
"Daddy?" she pleaded. "Please, we didn't do anything. We were just playing scrabble and..."
But her father wasn't looking at Spencer, his eyes were focused on Toby. "I never want you near my daughter again. I don't even want you in the same building as her, much less in the same room. I swear if you touch my daughter again..." he trailed off then, leaving the threat open to Toby's imagination.
Then Peter turned to Spencer "You are never to see him to see him again, are we clear? Now your mother has your things, we're going home right now."
"But..." Spencer started her eyes darting to Toby.
"Now Spencer!"
"Can't I at least say goodbye?" she pleaded.
"Now Spencer." Was all her father said, holding the door open for her.
"Go." Toby whispered, putting her above himself. He could take what was said, but he knew that she would need her family.
"I'm sorry." Spencer muttered before walking out of the room, and into her parents car, climbing into the backseat, and slamming the door shut, then leaning her head against the window.
"The dramatics aren't going to work Spencer." Her Mom said. "We are talking about this when we get home. Lying about where you are, who you were with, anything could have happened Spencer."
But Spencer wasn't paying attention, she was too busy trying not to cry, this was not how she expected her day to go. Then she heard her phone buzz, and she knew who it was before she opened the message.
Poor Spencer. Haven't you learned liars don't get happy endings? One more thing, you kissed, so you know what that means. I tell. –A
She clicked on the attachment and seen a photo of her and Toby in the room, during their kiss, and under it was a picture of their previous kiss. Yes, this was most definitely not the day Spencer had planned.
