Enjoy!
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Soundtrack:
Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)
All I Have (The Veronicas)
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EPOV-
I couldn't believe what I had heard. Bella going on a date? What the hell! I sat at one of the tables in the food court, pouting like a five year old. I almost wished I had told her I still loved her, but, I didn't want her to know she crushed my heart right there and then. I sighed, sipping my soda. I probably looked really pissed off, but yet, I was. Did she really, not love me any more? Every time I think about it, it crushes me. I shook my head, staring at her. She was walking by with him. She had tight jeans on, or to me they were because it made her figure stand out, and a square neck shirt that was a little revealing, and her Vans on. I bit my lip, she was too beautiful even now. I glanced around, would it be wrong to spy? I would feel really guilty about it later, I knew that, and that was punishment enough, right?
I decided to try it. I stood up and casually followed in their direction. She was going out with Jacob Black. That didn't seem very Bella like. He was a major player, but then again maybe she didn't know. HE took her to get some pizza and then they sat down in the middle of the food court. I got myself some pizza also and sat a decent ways away from them. I could already feel the guilt setting in, but this was Jacob Black, a player worse than Mike Newton, and Mike was bad enough. She laughed and giggled at his jokes, god, this was horrible. I could her the music in the background, 'Lolli (Pop that body)' by some artist I didn't know. I cursed under my breath.
I swear they were there for like an hour and a half before he grabbed her hand and started taking her towards the football field. I followed, not sure if I should or not. He pulled her down and disappeared for a moment. I was very tempted to run down and steal her from him, but I had to remember I wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. He appeared with a football in his hands. Playing football? That's not romantic…
He pulled her down to the field and made her run down to the other side of the field and then he threw her the ball. She caught it without a problem, laughing. I smiled to myself. She threw it back, a very good throw I must add and he caught it. They threw it back and forth a few times before he motioned for her to meet him in the middle. Then he gave her the ball and she took off running. She was surprisingly fastest than the last time I saw her. He took off after her and I growled under my breath. This was so stupid, me spying on her like this, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. It took him a while, but he caught her, taking her down. She lay on the ground, and he lay on top of her. I almost threw up, and then she frowned when he wasn't paying attention. Did I just see what I think I saw?
Yes, I did. She frowned. "Ha," I whispered to myself. He stared down at her and then kissed her. I took a few steps towards them but grabbed one of the trees that were beside me. "Stay out of it," I whispered. He beat his lips against hers, but she clearly didn't like it. She didn't kiss him back, she just laid there limp. Did he notice it? I guess not, god, the guy must be blind. I sat there, listening to my heart crack a little more. Even if she wasn't enjoying it. I bit my lip as he lifted his lips from hers, grinning happily. She smiled a faint, uncomfortable smile. He talked to her for a few moments before standing up and helping her up. She didn't seem happy to even touch him now. I sighed, I wanted to be the one down there kissing her, helping her up and holding her hand. I turned and started walking back to the food court, hands in pockets. I knew he was bringing her back now, it was getting dark.
I wondered around the campus for a long time like a lost puppy. I didn't care. I said hi to a few friends as I passed by them, but never stopped. I knew that I could only be her friend now, I blew it. I should have just told her, I never stopped loving her. I never stopped thinking about her, I never stopped wondering about her, worrying about her, caring about her, none of it stopped. I never forgot about her, and I never stopped hoping that I would someday be able to tell her that I loved her.
I could have called her sure, but I already knew she wouldn't answer. I almost flew down to see her, but I had no clue where she lived. I hid my emotions from the others though, I made it seem like I was fine, and they believed it, they followed it, and soon no one spoke of Bella, even though I always thought of her. I'd wake up in the morning and wonder if she was already awake, if she was okay. I hoped she wouldn't cry, wouldn't be in pain as I had seen her the day that she left. I hoped.
Eventually I gave up hope, and I let her go. And I stopped thinking about her, or so I thought. I told myself that she was gone, and I didn't love her anymore. Of course I was shocked when she confessed that she was doing the same thing. I was remembering all the memories of us that day, just looking at her made me hate myself for ever thinking that I didn't love her. I remembered staying up late thinking about seeing her the next day. I remembered the parties, the beach, the kisses, the hugs, her voice, her smile, her eyes, her touch, all of it. It all hit me that day. I didn't know what to think when she came back covered in mud. It wasn't funny, I knew that, but there was something,
I walked until I got to the track field. My eyes widened as I saw her running around the track. She was breathing relatively hard and she was crying, I think. I stood there for a moment as she just got faster and faster. She just kept pushing her self. I stared at her, since when did she like to run? Oh right, I hadn't seen her in a year. I jogged down the stairs past all the seats and jumped down on the ground. Did he just leave her here? The football field had the track running around it, and they had just been here earlier, so he must have left her here. She didn't notice me as she ran by, I noticed she had her IPod on. I just watched her running. She was crying, I could see that now, but it wasn't about the running. She stopped on the other side of the track and leaned on her knees for support. She took in deep breaths as she started walking.
I decided I should say something when she came around, so I decided to play it cool and be the friend I had set my self up for. I sat on the railing along the seating and waited for her to see me. She started running again, but she wasn't crying now. She spotted me and smiled a faint smile, she was confused. I laughed. She came up in front of me, still catching her breath. "I didn't know you liked to run, Bella," she shrugged. "I picked up on it when I left Forks. That hit the spot and I flinched, "Yea, how was the date?" I asked innocently smiling. She looked at the ground, "It was, okay, I suppose," she rolled her eyes. "He was, interesting," I smiled. I wanted to tell her that I was open for a date, but of course I didn't. "I'm sorry to hear that," I really could have cared less, I mean that scum kissed her, the girl I loved! That doesn't fly past me very easily. She smiled, a little more happy than the others. I looked at the ground not sure if I should ask her, but I did. "Bella, do you, miss us?" she looked up at me with surprised eyes, but they were calm, at least she made them look that way. "Y-Yes, I do," that sent my heart, or what was left of it, into a frenzy. She stared up at me, "Do you?" it seemed to take her forever
to answer, but I took twice as long, even though I knew the answer. "Of course I do," I didn't mean to put it that way! I meant to say a simply 'Yes'.
She reacted better than I thought. She took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around me, I slipped of the fence and wrapped my arms around her. All of it happened so quickly, my brain took a moment to process it. She wasn't crying or anything, just burying her face into my chest and mumbling to herself. I stared down at her, she was shaking, and I was curious why. "Y-your shaking," she nodded still not looking at me. "I usually push my self to hard," she fell down to her knees but I still held onto her. "You shouldn't, it's not good for your body," she shook her head, "I have to," I had no idea what the hell she was talking about but I hated seeing her like this. "Here come on, let's go get you something to drink," I picked her up, and she held to me for support. I liked it, probably too much.
I carried her to my dorm since it was closest. I opened the door and led her to the couch. She was still shaky pretty badly. I tossed a blanket to her, even though she wasn't cold, and grabbed two Pepsi's from the mini fridge. I sat down next to her and gave her the soda. I turned on the TV to some movie channel and pretended to watch. She curled up against the couch. I tried not to laugh as the memory of her pretending to sleep and leaning on me flashed my mind. "You know Bella," she glanced at me, curious eyes. "You are a really bad actress," she sat there for a moment and then started laughing. "I thought it would have worked, and it did, didn't it?" I laughed, wishing that she would always lean on me. "So, you, miss us?" she didn't look at me, but at the TV. I nodded, knowing she would catch it. "Me too," How could she miss 'us' if she didn't love me anymore? The thought was pushed aside when she continued. "It was really hard, to stop loving you, you know," she stared the TV down like her life depended on it.
"I wish you hadn't," I whispered it so low I could barely hear it, and I hoped she didn't catch it, but of course she did, she's Bella. She glanced at me and smiled, "You know you were always my best friend," I smiled my crooked smile. "Yea," she leaned against me and closed her eyes. She mumbled something that I didn't catch. I rested one arm on her while the other supported my head. It was just like the night before I told her I was falling in love with her. "Bella?" she didn't answer. She was asleep.
The next morning I woke up first, and I didn't want to wake her, so I just sat there, staring at her. She was still peaceful when she slept, but something was off. Maybe it was the look on her face, she looked like she had, the day she left, when she stared out her window at me. I hated seeing it then, and I still hated it. I decided to rest my eyes on her hand, which was intertwined with mine. She squeezed it suddenly. Was she asleep or awake? "Edward," I raised an eye brow. "Bells?" she didn't answer. I had no idea that she talked in her sleep. I bit my lip, afraid to hear the rest, "I still," she flinched. I bit down harder, "Still love you," my eyes widened and I felt my heart accelerate. "Bella," no answer. I sat there astonished and wondering if she spoke lies or the truth in her sleep. I don't know how long I sat there, staring at her with wondering eyes but hers soon fluttered open. She sat up and I smiled, "Morning Sunshine," she rolled he eyes and yawned. I smirked. She raised an eye brow, "What?" I shrugged, "You talk in your sleep?" I smiled as she bit her lip. "What did I say! Tell me!" she frowned. I laughed, "Just something about your mom and then something about Alice eating a stuffed bear," I lied. She let out her breath. "Thank god," I shook my head smiling.
"So, do you normally talk in your sleep?" She nodded as I picked up our Pepsi cans and threw them away. "Yea, I usually talk about what's been on my mind lately," I choked on air. "So, you talk about truthful things, like missing your mom?" she sighed. "Yea, normally. Like one time I was pissed because my mom had thrown away some of my clothes that I loved, and she got a load when I fell asleep in the car," she rolled her eyes, yawning again. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did that mean she still, loved me? Well, of course it did, god I'm stupid!
I tried not to think about it, but it stuck in my mind. Was she lying to me just as much as I was lying to her? She smiled at me, "I'm just glad I didn't say anything, out of place, I guess," I smiled. "Nope, but I'm not so sure about that Alice eating a stuffed bear, that was a little, yea, I think I may have to tell her about it," I shook my head, frowning playfully at her. She laughed, tossing a pillow at me. I tossed it back and she laughed harder. I remembered how ticklish she was and went for her stomach. She laughed and giggled trying to push me away, but of course she couldn't. I finally stopped and stared her in the eyes, faces inches apart. Her smile didn't leave her face, and her eyes were meaningful. I wanted to kiss her, I really did, but I wasn't sure if I should.
"Bella," I whispered it so low I barely heard it. She leaned forward a little and our noses touched. I smiled my crooked smile, and kissed her. Her lips were still soft and perfect. My heart melted as all the memories beat in my mind. She lifted her hand and tangled it in my hair, the other wrapped around my neck. I wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her closer to me and leaned against the couch, and my other hand held her amazing face. I was absorbed in her, her lips, her body, her face, her hair, her.
The moment ended quicker than I would have liked when she pulled away and looked down at the floor. I bit my lip, hoping I hadn't just done something incredibly stupid. She finally looked up at me; she was biting her lip too. "Um, I-I shouldn't have, I mean," I could tell what she was thinking. She was thinking that is was wrong because 'we didn't love each other any more'. I sighed, I should have just told her the truth, she was so much stronger now, she could have handled it, and I knew that. She had gone a year in nothing but tears and pain, and here she was before me, smiling with her friends and hiding everything. She was a lot stronger, and I just didn't see it when I told her the lie. I sat there for a moment, just staring at her, but finally got up. I ran my hand through my hair. Damn.
She stood up and stuck her hands in her jean pockets. She looked like she was debating whether to say something or not. I didn't know what to say. She bit her lip and looked up at me, "Um, I guess I'll go then," I nodded and walked her to the door. Right before she walked away I grabbed her arm, "Bella, I-I'm sorry, I know your not, I mean," I shook my head; she just nodded and walked off towards her dorm. I watched her for a minute. She was all I could see, none of the other people that were walking around mattered, I couldn't see them, just her. Just Bella…
I went back into my dorm after she was out of sight and went into my room and changed clothes. I didn't even bother with my hair, it was impossible. I brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face. Then after mentally beating the crap out of my self I decided to head out to the food court. I locked my dorm room and headed towards the smoothie bar. I got myself a strawberry and handed the cashier the money when I saw her, er- it I should say.
She had a skirt on, that was barely a bit of clothing, more like she wrapped a strip of fabric around her hips. She also had a tank top with spaghetti straps that had a very low v-neck, which basically showed me almost everything that I didn't want to see. She had high heels on too. I gagged on my smoothie. She smirked and picked up the step to get to me faster, I rolled my eyes, walking in the opposite direction. She caught my arm and smiled suggestively. "Eddie poo, what are we going to do today," I glared at her and shook her off my arm. "We aren't doing anything," she smiled again, stepping in front of me, "That sounds like something to me. Why don't we go back to your dorm?" she raised her eye brows and gave me some sort of puppy eyes, I raised an eye brow. "No, now leave me alone," she giggled, sticking her hands in my front pockets. "You're not with that Bella girl anymore, I took care of her, remember?" I smiled when I remembered, nodding.
I took a last sip of my smoothie and popped the top off, and dumped it all over Lauren, and she screamed shaking her hands in the air to fan her self, like it would help. I threw the cup at her. "Yea I remember perfectly clear you bitch," I walked off. I was so sick of her. She never took a hint. I ended up wondering around the campus thinking about Bella again. I just couldn't stop, if she wasn't with me, she was on my mind.
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Did you likey?
I hope so. Sorry I've been taking so much longer to update, school starts in a few days and I'm going to a new school so I've been way busy. I really like reading all the possitive reviews, but not so much the ones that say things like "Your story is so stupid II'm like asleep right now" and "I couldn't read something so stupid, sorry, I'm not impressed at all"
But I try to ignore those.
Well Review if you have something GOOD to say please.
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