Chapter III

It Does Not Envy

They say that love brings out the best in people. I don't think it's true- at least, not for me. I never used to be this selfish, not before he entered my life. I was good, and pure; I spent my whole life helping others, tending to them, and making sure they were protected from the evils of our world. Hatred, jealousy, pride- I was free from those evils. I had to be pure, in order to guard the Shikon. I just wanted to be normal- to lead a peacful, contented life. But then... I met him. And eventually, I fell in love, against my will. I couldn't help it, any more than she can help it now.

It's ridiculous for me to be jealous of my little reincarnation now, I know- but I can't help it. Would you want the one person that you truly and deeply care for to constantly spend time with someone else, someone who is in many ways your superior? One who is pretty, honest, caring, compassionate, and above all, loves him unconditionally? Even I can barely boast that- this girl, Kagome, seems not to mind at all that he is not human, that he is hanyou.

Though I try to avoid being around the two of them, together, even I have seen the love she feels for him. However, she knows nothing of how he feels for her- she does not know that the roughness and surliness of the Inuyasha she knows is him being as tender as he can be; she never knew the hanyou that I met so long ago, before his love for me softened his heart. Oh yes, he loved me once- that fact is undeniable. And now, I cling to any and every reminder or that fact. When your life is as empty as mine, you take what you can get.

It shames me, to feel the resentment I harbor towards that undeserving girl. My only consolation is the knowledge that she feels the same way towards me.