Author's note: So I've been taking forever getting round to writing this. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to start typing even though I knew what I was typing. But one thing happened about a week ago that got me in the mood for writing again. This story got it's first review! I never knew how much effect a good review can have on a writer but it really helps to know that people enjoy what you a writing.
So I'm going to finish by saying thanks to Rick Crash Tracy for the review. Now onto the chapter!
I do not own Katawa Shoujo or any of its characters.
What They Deserve
I don't get much sleep that night. The image of Lilly's face shows up whenever I start to drift off, her tears acting like a river between me and the land of dreams. After several tries I find myself standing on the balcony overlooking the extensive garden.
Say what you like about Jigoro Hakamichi, he sure knows how a house should look.
Some would see him as arrogant and intimidating, and I can see where they're coming from, but for all the time I've known him he's always looked out for us in his own way. Whether it's because he was genuinely concerned for us or if he just wanted to get one over on our dad, I'll never forget what he has done for us.
Over the horizon the first few rays of light poked their way over. After a few moments of blindness I take stock of the slowly illuminating landscape on the beginning of my final day living in Japan. And Lilly's too...
A knock at the door to my room snaps me out of that line of thought.
''Come on in,'' I say, having a fairly good idea who was there. The door swings open and the visitor enters, closing the door behind them and then standing there.
''What's up shortie?''
Hideaki stands there in his, slightly girlish, pyjamas looking at me in a way that made him look like he had no idea how he had gotten there, ''How're you Akira?''
To most this would be a simple question to answer with a casual ''I'm good, how're you?'' but with Hideaki I know that he's expecting an explanation about the way things are now, and not just small talk.
''Well put a crappy nights sleep, a long flight and emotional stress all together and you pretty much get where I am right now.''
He now steps out onto the balcony and comes to a stop beside me before he looks at me and says... ''You look terrible.''
Now I don't know if it's the bluntness with which he said it or the lack of sleep but in that moment it felt as if my life wasn't being transformed within the space of a month and instead things were still normal. I decide to play with him a little.
''Well you don't look to great yourself,'' I say, grabbing onto his glasses and twisting them lopsided.
He hastily straightens out this glasses and releases a huff of mock annoyance and we then fall into silence. We stand alongside each other for a few minutes just staring at the horizon; there are no words that need to be said. Through all the time I've spent with him, I've learnt that Hideaki is not the kind of person to hold an extended conversation. Most of the time it's just a series of broken small talk.
But... I think that's why I enjoy hanging out with him, there's no effort in thinking about what to say next, just say whatever comes into your head. Really un-lawyer like I know but meh, so sue me.
''I'm going to miss you Akira.''
Now THAT I was not expecting.
''What's this shortie, emotion? That's a bit unusual for you isn't it?'' It is the truth I suppose.
''I'm serious... it's going to be lonely without you around.''
Yeah it's true. I spend quite a lot of time with him, whether I come round thanks to having a bit of spare time or looking after him at Jigoro's request. Over the years I can't remember ever meeting any friends from school but I'm sure he has some.
''Don't worry, it's not like you'll never see me again. There are also these incredible things called cellphones you know?'' I'm doing my best to cheer him up but I can't tell if it's doing any good.
The response I get is a hug and him burying his head into my torso. I'm shocked. This is the first time he's ever been this... I can't think of the word for it.
A muffled ''Yeah, you'er right'' is what I hear.
I wrap my arms around him and squeeze.
''It's gunna be fine, trust me.'' I say this yet wasn't I the one who couldn't sleep because of worry? It feels bad that I can't even trust my own words, I just hope that it helps him.
We break apart and I lower myself to face level and with a grin say, ''So how about we go get some breakfast?''
''Fine,'' he says in his now-renewed disinterested way and we turn away from the still rising sun.
The day passes surprisingly quickly and so after a short exchange of goodbyes I find myself sitting in the back of a taxi en route to the airport. Both Lilly and I sit in silence. I keep thinking of what I could say, if there's anything I should say. Do I try to make small talk? Do I talk about the future? Do I talk about...
''Akira, you seem to be very quiet. Is everything all right?''
Crap, quick think of something! ''Yeah, 'course everything's fine, why wouldn't it be?''
A few tense moments pass...
''You know I can tell you're lying''
''Yeah I know,'' I sigh.
It would be so much easier if this were Hideaki. ''So? What is wrong?'' she asks.
May as well say it. ''You know, I have to leave for work but you... could stay if you wanted. It's not too late you...''
''Thank you Akira for the thought but I have made up my mind and I will stand by my choice.''
Either that's her honest answer or just her pride talking but either way I know that nothing I say will change her plan now.
Maybe if I had said something earlier then she may have listened to me but I was too caught up with wanting her to be able to live her own life without me interfering.
Maybe I was too stubborn...
The things that happen at an airport are so varied. There are sad-farewells and joyous reunions. The crowds of people hustling around us seem to be in a completely different world to me right now. All that exists to me are the young women holding onto my arm for guidance, the luggage that we have and my own thoughts.
The noises of the world around me are drowned out by the shower of thoughts raining through my head. All the things that have happened over the past week, all the things I've done, the choices I made. Could I have done more? Could Lilly have been sitting in her room with Hanako right now? Could she still have been with Hisao? Could she this, could she that. All the 'what ifs' and 'could have beens'.
It's all I could think of...
I get shaken out of my thoughts by a tugging on my arm. ''...Akira. Akira are you listening to me?''
''Sorry Lilly, I was... thinking about... well anyway, what's up?''
''I'm not sure if it's anything... but I think I heard someone call my name.''
''You sure you weren't imagining it?'' I start looking around us.
''I may have but I cannot be certain.''
When I look behind us I see a crowd gathering at some distance back. ''What's going on back there?''
''What's happening?''
''There's a crowd gathering... come on, I wanna go find out what's up.''
We walk at Lilly's usual measured pace. The closer we get the more bits of conversation I get, I hear ambulance and doctor among other words. ''It seems like someone's collapsed,'' Lilly says.
''Yeah it does,'' we're at the back of the crowd and I ask the nearest guy to me what's happening.
''Oh someone suddenly started grabbing at their chest and collapsed. They think it's a heart attack. Poor kid looks like he's still in high school.''
I freeze. It can't be...
The next few seconds are a frenzy of shoving through the crowd.
We break through.
''Oh shit...''
