The Obligatory Mind-switch Fanfic

(aka The Beautiful Young Sorceress Has Some Trouble with Her Lackeys)

Part Three

Some wise guy once said, "Music soothes the savage beast." I wouldn't exactly call myself savage, but whatever the special was, it felt like music in my mouth. I savored every bite.

"Lina, are you sure you aren't sick? You're eating less than usual." I reached up to smack him across the forehead…and missed.

Zel's eyes widened, as did Amelia's. Even Xelloss looked a bit...perplexed.

Hey, stop staring at me like that! Nobody's perfect!

"Miss Lina, we need to get you to a doctor."

"Sorry if you hadn't noticed, Amelia, but we're in the middle of nowhere. The closest doctor is three days away, possibly more."

Xelloss suddenly produced a large, leather-bound book. "It says here that this village has a sort of a "witch doctor". People come from miles around to try his…unique methods of healing."

"Unique, huh? I dunno, but the idea of risking my life with some native quack's 'methods of healing' doesn't sound too fun."

Suddenly Zel snatched the book. "The witch doctor is also famous for his cures for seemingly…untreatable…conditionsWE'RE GOING."

"Are we, now?"

"Yes. We are." Zelgadis grabbed the front of Xelloss's…white…blouse. "We are going if it kills us."

"I could arrange that!"

So could I, mazoku. So could I.

"Mister Zelgadis, do you think the doctor could switch Mister Xelloss and me back?"

Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten about them. ALMOST.

Zel's eyes almost started to get the faintest speck of what might be called tenderness. "I'm sure he can."

"Zel-chan's goin' so-oft! Zel-chan's goin' so-oft!" I sang. The chimera in question shot me a deathglare from across the table.

"So we're going to the doctor...for the sake of JUSTICE!" I could've sworn little stars were forming in her cat-like, purple eyes.

"Yes."

"Certainly!"

"It's better than just sitting around and doing nothing!"

"Wha? Did I miss something?"

WHACK!

---

"Grr…we've been walking for hours, Xelloss, and we're still nowhere near that old quack's office! How big is this village, anyway?!"

"Larger than you thought, ne?" the mazoku said with a wink.

"Ugh… so hungry…" Gourry moaned and clutched his stomach. Zelgadis scoffed, but even he was looking a little tired. Meanwhile, Amelia was looking brighter and bubblier than ever.

"We can't deviate from the path we have chosen, Mister Gourry! We must never waver! We shall walk down the path of Righteousness, Truth, and Justice with our heads held high! We must keep repeating to ourselves: Life is wonderful! Life is wonderful. Life…is…" She suddenly collapsed in a dead faint.

"Amelia!" Zel rushed to her side. Author's note: Guess who the couple of the day is! -

"Mister…Zelgadis...?" Amelia blinked up at her chimera-in-shining-armor. He laid her down softly on the grass and then turned to Xelloss.

"Give me that!" He grabbed the book roughly from the mazoku. "What the-? The pages are blank!" He then pitched it at the floor, nearly hitting Amelia. "Do you think this is some kind of joke?!"

"Mis-"

"Zelgadis! I'm stunned that you would think that!"

"Mister Z-"

"I mean, I'm not that cruel!"

"Mister Zelga-"

"I swear, in the name of the Lord of Nightmares, that those pages are… not… blank?" He picked one page up, looking at it carefully. "That's strange," he muttered.

"MISTER ZELGADIS!!!"

"Yes, Amelia?" He blushed slightly.

"I found the map! It says that the doctor is just over that hill!"

Xelloss bent down, peering at the paper. "Sorry to break this to you, Amelia, but that's not the map. That's just a blank piece of paper."

"But it even says 'Map of Random Village #68'! It says it right here!" She jabbed a white-gloved hand at the top of the paper.

To be perfectly honest, I thought all that justice had done something strange to her young, impressionable brain. To be perfectly honest: There. Was. Nothing. There.

Suddenly, Xelloss appeared to lose his balance. He sat down (hard) on a rock, his head in his hands. "This is not good. This is not good at all."