Stef

After sending Callie to upstairs, I make sure the other kids are having their breakfast before sending them off to school. Jesus and Mariana are supposed to have a Math test today, Jude Biology and Brandon English. Callie would miss her English test but I was sure Lena could pull some strings to do it later. As we were saying good byes to the kids and wishing them good luck on their tests, Jude pulls my sleeve and I kneel down to his level.

"Is Callie ok"? He asks me worried. My heart breaks for the boy. He loves her very much and of course he would be worried about her. Even though it was Callie who took care of them both, it doesn't mean Jude didn't appreciate it. He couldn't have done half of those things Callie did because he was too young. But I know he understands how much Callie did for him. I get a feeling Jude wants to kind of pay it back to her.

"Sure, buddy, she's okay. We think she's coming down with a flu so she's staying home today, okay?' I try to reassure him. I don't want to lie, but I have a feeling Callie haven't told everything to Jude in order to protect him.

He doesn't look convinced but lets it go after studying me a while. I smile reassingly. I hug him and he hugs me back. He's so innocent bu has seen so much bad for such a young age that I can't help but admire his strength and positive attitude. He lets go of me but I give him one more tight hug before releasing him. He runs to his siblings and I watch them until I can't see them anymore. My loves. Four pieces of my heart, the precious pieces. I close the door and walk to kitchen where I find Lena waiting for me with a tea on her hands. I pour myself a cup of coffee and try to prepare myself for what I know will be a difficult talk.

"Love, are you sure you want to hear everything? It's going to be difficult and even I have problems with controlling my emotions." I ask as I sit next to her.

"Yes, Stef. She's our daughter and in order for me to help her, I need to know what happened to those beautiful kids." she answers. But I can sense that she's terrified to hear the truth.

"You already knew that they went in to the system when Callie was 10 and Jude only 6 years old. But as their files says, she didn't die of a car crash. It was something more terrible." I stop. She watches me intensively and gestures me to continue. I swallow before continuing.

"Jude and Callie's father murdered her, in front of Callie's eyes. He had been drunk and got angry at Callie. Colleen tried to protect her but her dad wouldn'tt have any of it. He took a knife and stabbed Colleen 50 times. A neighbor had heard the screams so he had called the police. They arrived in 7 minutes but it was too late. They found Jude crying in his bed and Callie frozen in front of her mother. They arrested Donald who had fled from the scene. Since then the Jacob siblings have been in the system."

I stop and watch Lena carefully. She looks shocked, and has tears streaming down on her cheeks. Damn, maybe this wasn't good idea, I think myself. The story would only get worse and I wasn't sure if Lena was strong enough to hear it.

"Love, are you okay? I ask. I take her hands in my mine, trying to be there for her. Lena stays quiet but she's not crying anymore.

She looks up at me, eyes still watery.
"I believe this is only going to get worse, am I right?"

I don't say anything, I just nod. I know hearing Callie's story is not easy but we both need to know what happened to this girl and her brother. Not because we would toss those poor kids out, but so we can help them heal and help them trust people again. Feel wanted and loved.

"Okay, I'm okay. But please love, do not pause or I won't be able to hear it all. If you stop talking, I might run straight upstairs and scoop that innocent girl that's sleeping on our bed and hold her forever and forever and forget about this cruel world we live in."

And that's why I love her. I know she knew it wouldn't be a beautiful story. After all, she has been studying child psychology, read cases and seen cases when the twins were still in the system. I give her a light squeeze and continue to tell what Callie told me.

"Soon after they were put in the system, Bill found them a foster home. There were not a lot of families who wanted two kids but Callie and Jude were, and are, a package deal. The family was first nice, they had two other kids and a dog. All the kids were well taken care of and it was just like a normal family. After a few months, the mother got pregnant and all the members of the family were very excited. Unfortunately, she miscarried and got depressed. She was admitted to the hospital. The father was left alone with four kids. He started to drink, would be gone for days and when he was home, he would be violent towards the kids. One night he got really mad and hurt one of his own kids really bad. Callie called the police while trying to rescue Jude and the other one. The police came and arrested the man. The kid was announced dead on the scene. The three of them were taken to the police station until Bill arrived. He took Callie and Jude with him and placed them into other family."

I have to sip water a little bit. I continue talking and tell Lena about the other 6 families they were in, and every few months they would be thrown out because Callie did something. Callie told me that she was protecting Jude, that the other kids or sometime even the parents were bullying him, mocking him for being "different". Callie would take the blame so Jude would be left alone. She was beaten and left without food but she made sure Jude was never punished. I tell Lena how one day, the father found Jude wearing a dress, was about to beat him to death but Callie sprung into action and smashed his foster father's car. The cops were once again called but there was evidence that Jude had been hit and Callie had acted out of self-defense so no charges were pressed. They spent few weeks in a group home until Bill found them a new foster home, the home before this. The home were all hell broke lose.

I have to stop and gather myself before telling the worst part of the story. Or the nightmare, because that's what it truly was for these kids. This time it's Lena's turn to comfort me. She stands up and takes my coffee mug. She doesn't say a word, she doesn't need to, and fills me another cup of coffee. I thank her by smiling.

"So.. Okay. After a few weeks of living in a group home, Bill found them a foster home. It wasn't the best option, a single man but he had fostered kids before losing her wife to a cancer few years ago. Callie and Jude were brought to his home and everything was going well. Until the foster father, Jim, started to make inappropriate comments about Callie's body. Callie told me that first she was flattered because no one had ever shown her any interests but soon she became uncomfortable around her new foster father. Callie told him to stop but he didn't listen. That was the first time she started to hurt herself. Callie told me that if she was ugly Jim would hopefully stop commenting on her body, stop seeing her. Then one night the foster father climbed on her bed and raped her. Multiple times. She blames herself because according to her, she didn't even try to protect herself."

Lena has tears streaming down her face and I'm sure my cheeks are just as wet. And I'm not finished, not yet. I breath in and out, slowly, and keep going.

"Callie told me that she never told Jude about it. Nor any of the teachers or her social worker. She thought they wouldn't believe or that they would blame her for it. She hated herself for it, she hated her body for it. She told me that if her body wasn't so mature and curvy this could have not happened. I tried to assure that what happened to her was not her fault, none of was her fault. But she didn't listen to me, or couldn't listen to me, I'm not sure. It looked like she wasn't even here, like she was there when it happened and she was going through it again and again." I'm getting tired but I have one more, terrible thing to tell Lena.

"Love, I know you probably can't take anymore, and I promise, I'm almost finished. But there is one huge terrible thing I have to tell you. Can you take it?" I ask carefully. We will both probably need something to help us sleep tonight.

"Oh Stef, I had no idea it was THIS bad. How in the world did she pull through? How come NO ONE saw or suspected anything?" She asks me, her voice rising.
I totally understand her rage.

"I don't know, love. But we will help her. We will not give up on her. But anyway, after living in that house for few months, their foster father brought home three of his friends. Callie and Jude were doing homework upstairs and tried to be as quiet and invisible as possible. Unfortunately Jim them and took Callie downstairs with him. Jude was locked in the room. Callie didn't tell me any graphic details but all four men gang raped her five times during that evening and night. They left the house to go the bar. Callie ran upstairs and freed Jude but didn't tell him anything, just they had asked her to serve them some beer. The next day they went to school like nothing happened. Two nights later Callie bit Jim's penis and the police were called by the neighbors as they grew worried over the loud noises coming from their house."

I don't say anything. Lena doesn't either, she just stares at me blankly as tears keep streaming down her face. Then, all of sudden, surprising me, she hops off the stool and literally runs upstairs. I follow her as fast as I can. I have a hunch where she is heading to, and I'm not wrong. I'm not wrong. I have to smile a little when I see her hugging the girl that has been through too much, the girl who has stolen our hearts. Callie doesn't wake up for which I'm surprised as Lena is hugging her quite tightly.