The week went by slowly. Class after class after class, but it seemed like all their teachers had nothing interesting to say. The guys had something else on their minds, though; they were going to be in a fairly big show and possibly get a record deal out of it. The show was Friday night and it was Friday at the end of eighth period…

Jimmy had two pencils and drummed on his desk. He stared off into space deep in thought. The bell rang and almost everyone left the class room except for a few including Jim. Matt got up about to walk out but turned around to Jim, who was still sitting in his desk.

"Jim," Matt said, but got no response from him.

"Jim, come on, class is over!" Matt said, slightly louder.

Matt still didn't get a response so he tried shaking his shoulder.

"What?" Jimmy asked, looking a little lost.

"Come on."

They walked out of the classroom and headed for the quad to meet up with everyone else. Brian stood with an arm around Nikki and talking to Zack. Matt approached them with Jimmy trailing behind him.

"Where were you guys?" Brian asked.

Matt shrugged, "Rev over there was zoned out and would get up."

Jim ignored the comment and asked Nikki, "Yo, Pipsqueak, you still coming tonight?"

Nikki grinned. "Hell yeah, I couldn't miss it!"

"Yes!" Jim picked her up and spun her around.

"God damn, Jim!" Nikki yelled, "Why do you always have to pick me up?"

Jimmy put her down next to Brian and laughed, "Cuz you're mini! You're like a... well, I don't know. But you're super small, it's just fun to pick you up… And your reactions are really funny, too."

"Ah, whatever, Jim," she said clinging to Brian.

Brian pulled his keys out of his pocket. "We're gonna go."

"See ya tonight."

The small amphitheatre was packed wall to wall. Nikki stayed with Val and Leana who were also there to see the guys perform. They had made it through three songs already and they appeared to be having a lot of fun with it. Zacky changed out his electric guitar for a black acoustic as Matt spoke, "This next song was actually by Synyster Gates and it's for my little sister who we lost a little over a month ago."

"Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A light that held a broken heart with all that it could

Lived a life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible
The truth is so cold

A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind

Where you can stay
You can stay away forever

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind

I have so much to say but you're so far away

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid
The ones we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me
Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away

I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are untied

So far away
And I need you to know

So far away
And I need you to
I need you to know."

She might have been seeing things, but Nikki was almost sure she saw a tear run down Matt's face from under his aviator glasses.

The week end went faster than anyone wanted. It was already Monday after school, and the school had an unexpected visitor.

A small brunette walked from group to group asking them if they'd seen the girl in her picture. She approached Matt and said, "Sorry to bother you, but have you seen this girl?"

She held up the picture for Matt. In her picture was a short blond girl with bright blue eyes in a Laguna Beach High School cheerleading uniform. Matt looked from the picture to the girl's jacket, a LBHS cheerleader jacket. Matt looked around and called Brian over.

Brian looked puzzled over the picture. "That kinda looks like Nikki…"

The girl squealed. "Ohmigod! Nikki Evans, that's who I'm looking for!" She paused, "Wait... are you Brian?"

She surprised him by hugging him. "Thank you so much for protecting Nikki! She's told me all about you! I'm Dannyy by the way."

"Who the hell is rubbing up on my boyfriend?" said an angry Nikki. Nikki pulled Dannyy by her shoulder.

"Ohmigod!" they screamed in unison.

"Sorry about that, I didn't know it was you…" Nikki said apologetically.

Dannyy laughed, "Well he's exactly as you described him!"

Brian raised an eyebrow at the remark and Nikki blushed.

"So let's see what you did…" Dannyy examine Nikki's hair and makeup, and then pulled on her snakebite. "Is this real?"

"Don't pull! It is real!" Nikki said trying to get out of Dannyy's grip.

Danny put her hands on her hips, "So why haven't you come back to visit? After you moved out here, it seems like you forgot about everyone."

"Well, I've been purposely avoiding the rest of the squad and Cameron, but I do call you pretty often. And, besides, you know I'm not allowed back on campus."

Matt threw in an unwanted question, "And what is it you got expelled for?"

"It's a long story… Nikki was the…" Nikki glared at her to get her to stop.

"As I have told Brian before: there is a time and a place for this story and this isn't that time or place," Nikki said quickly cutting off Dannyy.

That night, Brian invited Nikki over to his house to watch a movie. But neither of them was as sociable as they usually were. Nikki snuggled against Brian's chest as the movie played. He paused the movie.

"I know this is late notice but I was wondering if you wanted to go the Winter Formal with me; it's Friday night," he asked.

Nikki blushed, "I'd love to."

There was a long silence and Brian could see it in her eyes that something was bothering her.

"You know you can tell me anything," he said softly.

They heard the front door open but ignored who it was.

Nikki took a deep breath. "When I said it was a long story, I meant it was a long story… Senior year was supposed to be perfect. And it was until a little over a month ago. I went to parties every weekend and the quarterback was my boyfriend- it's not that we liked each other or anything, we were just together for popularity. I was the most popular girl in school since I was the cheer captain. I had my disobedient squad but I ruled with an iron fist. I chose the squad of ten girls out of the hundred that tried out; so we were supposed to be the best of the best but there was one girl who wasn't. Her name was Chloe and she made more mistakes than all of us combined. She was one of those people who couldn't help but be a klutz and couldn't seem to do anything right. As the captain, it was my job to correct her, and I always tried to hold in the insults but I did let quite a few slip. And then about a month ago, we had to put on a performance for the pep-rally of the first CIF game. It was supposed to be one of the biggest routines of the year, and I got stuck being a flier- something I never was- because no one else was willing to be thrown so high. So, the whole thing went as planned until my high flying. She was supposed to catch me along with two other girls but she didn't. She was distracted by something and let me fall. Twenty feet and she let me drop. You can kind of understand why I was so pissed. I got up, wobbled a little bit because I had a minor concussion from the fall, and told her off in front of the whole school. Then, the next day I got called into the principal's office and they told me that Chloe committed suicide the night before and that I was being held responsible for 'bullying' her. And I was expelled that day."

The front door slammed again Brian glanced back to see who it was and he wasn't sure if he was just seeing things, but he could've sworn he saw Matt run out.

Nikki was now sobbing into Brian's chest, "I didn't mean to! The whole squad knew I had a bad temper and they always ignored it when I got out of hand! But, she decided to take me seriously the one time I didn't want her too! I wish I could go back and stop myself! I was stupid I didn't think that she would do such a thing… I just wish I could take back what I said…"

Brian pulled her into his lap and she continued to cry. "Is that the Chloe from you nightmares?"

"I always dream that she gets her revenge… and there's nothing I can do…"

"What's her last name?" he asked, looking back at the door.

"Sanders, Chloe Sanders…" she winced as if the name was cursed somehow.

"So it was her," he said under his breath. "Chloe was Matt's little sister. She never really got along with her parents and a few days before she died she had a huge fight with Matt. Matt was the only thing keeping her sane. She hated her life and Matt meant the world to her. Their fight put her on the edge and you just pushed her over the edge. It's not your fault; it's wasn't anybody's fault. What's done is done."

"You hate me, now, don't you?" she sobbed, "I killed your friend… I killed Matt's sister!"

"Shhhh, baby… I don't hate you; I never could. And you didn't kill her; she killed herself, it had nothing to do with you. And, besides, we all have our mistakes, no one's perfect. The best thing to do is just move on; we all have, even Matt."

"But, how? She haunts me; how can I just forget her?" she asked.

"Like this…" he whispered and seconds later his lips came down on hers.

The week went by quickly again. Nikki was scrambling to find the prettiest dress and tallest heels she could find in the short time she was given. Dannyy helped her find a short teal dress and four inch heels to match. She chose teal because Dannyy wouldn't let her get it in black; she said that black made her look like she was going to a funeral. Dannyy came over after school to do Nikki's hair and makeup. She curled Nikki's hair and used smokey grey eye shadow, instead of Nikki's usual black eyeliner. Dannyy also force Nikki to take out her snakebites and she covered the piercing holes with makeup.

Dannyy tossed heels to Nikki. "Go look in the mirror," Dannyy commanded.

Nikki did as she said, putting on her heels and looking into the mirror. She saw a side of herself that hadn't been seen by anyone since the day she was expelled. In the mirror was that beautiful cheer leader with curled hair, lots of makeup, a short dress, and high heels; she saw a person who she had forgotten how to be. She gave Dannyy a faint smile and she smiled back.

"You look beautiful, Nick, like always," Danny said, examining her work.

"Nikki, Brian's here!" Nikki's mother called upstairs.

Nikki ran down the stairs as fast as she could without messing anything up, Dannyy followed her with a camera in hand. Brian leaned against the doorway, looking sleek in his tuxedo and his usually spiky hair combed back. He let out a gasp when he saw Nikki coming down the stairs. She hugged him as Dannyy took a few pictures. They waved good bye and drove off in Brian's black Mustang.

"You look beautiful," Brian said sweetly.

"Thanks, Synnie! You're pretty handsome too!" She blushed.

The dance was being held on campus in the large quad. It had been decorated with small white lights, big snowflakes, and fake snow drifts everywhere, like a winter wonder land. A dance floor had been laid out on the grass covering most of the ground. A decorated lighted canopy was over part of it and the DJ was next to it.

Brian led Nikki out on to the dance floor for a slow love song. He looped his arms around her waist and she intwinded her fingers behind his neck.

"Jimmy's going to be mad," Brian warned.

"And why is that?" she asked.

He laughed, "Cuz you're not as short today."

"Shut your mouth, Brian Haner, I'm not that short!" She tried to keep a straight face but she couldn't stop herself from laughing in mid-sentence.

The song ended and Nikki pulled him off the dance floor. She bumped into someone, but as she turned around to apologize she was taken into a bone-crushing hug.

"Pipsqueak!" Jimmy said in his booming voice.

"Let go, Jim, you're crushing me," she said breathlessly.

Jimmy let go of her and then glared down in her direction.

"What?" she asked, completely clueless to why he was mad.

"You're not short enough…" he mumbled.

"Ah, come on, Jim, I'm only 5' 1! Now I can't wear heels that make me 5' 5?" she said playfully.

She turned around to look at Brian but he wasn't there and when she looked back at Jimmy he was gone too. In his place was Matt, who looked a little pissed off.

"Where'd Brian go?" Nikki asked, attempting to look for him but not being able to see over the crowd.

"He went to throw his jacket in his car," Matt muttered.

"Oh, shit, I left my phone in his car and I was supposed to text my mom. Will you come with me to get it? I don't want to go alone…"

Matt smiled strangely, "Of course I'll come."

Matt led her toward the parking lot through a way that he said was a "short cut". They went from being in the crowded bright quad to deserted dark hallways. Nikki knew something was wrong because of the sinister smile plastered across his face. Out of nowhere, he turned on his heels so that he was now facing her and he swung his fist at her, smacking her in the face and making her fall against the wall.

"What was that for?" she cried.

"You killed my sister… You fucking killed my little sister!" he yelled, his voice cracking in between words.

He landed another punch to her face. She slid down the wall and tried to get to her knees.

"I didn't mean to Matt! She knew I had a bad temper, and she dropped me. How else do you expect me to react?" she screamed.

Matt kicked her in the ribs and she fell backwards off her knees.

"You don't fucking get it! You think that she didn't listen to all the shit you said but she did! She listened to every god damn word! Every fucking thing you said to her, she passed on to me! I know how much shit you put her through!" he growled.

He kicked her a second time in ribs in the exact same spot he had before.

She screamed from the pain. "What about you, Matt? Couldn't this be your fault too? She used to come to practice every day complaining about the fights you guys would get into. And then the day of the pep-rally, she said that she had gotten in a huge fight with you the night before. She was too busy thinking about your fight to pay attention to when she was supposed to catch me. So doesn't that mean this is your fault, Matt?"

Matt was speechless. He was taken aback by what Nikki had said. It was true; it sounded believable and made sense. But he didn't want to believe it; he didn't want to admit that it could've been his fault.

She was about to speak again and add more to what she had just said but he kicked her in the ribs a third time to stop her.

"Brian!" she screamed breathlessly, "Help me, Brian!"

"Shut up, bitch!" Matt kicked her in the collarbone so that she fell back and was now lying on her back. She'd somehow managed to keep her heels on this whole time, so she stuck one of her legs straight up to stop him from leaning over to punch her. He leaned over and balanced on her heel; her heel pressed into his stomach. She screamed for Brian again because she knew time she was running out. She couldn't hold Matt back much longer. Her leg had given weigh just enough for Matt to land a solid punch to the same spot that she'd been hit by the jock weeks before.

Matt was suddenly tackled to the ground by Jimmy. Matt threw Jim off of him and tried to hit Nikki again but was quickly decked by Brian. Jim grabbed Matt's arms and pulled them back so he was restrained from doing anything more destructive. Brian kneeled by Nikki and he pulled her into his lap.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Matt?" Brian yelled.

"She killed my sister, Gates! She killed Chloe, my little Chloe!" Matt said falling to his knees.

"How the hell do you know that?" Jimmy asked while still keeping a close eye on him.

"I went over to your house on Monday night and I heard her tell you the story… You know what she did; you know that she killed Chloe!" Matt said in tears. "How can you act so calm about this, Brian? Chloe was your girlfriend! You loved her, didn't you? How can you stand to be with the kill that killed our Chloe!"

"Nikki didn't kill Chloe, Matt… Chloe killed herself. There's nothing any of could do about it. We all saw it coming, but none of us tried to do anything about it. What's done is done, it's time to move on. You don't need revenge for someone who shouldn't be avenged. She's gone, Matt. Just face it already. Nothing can bring her back," Brian said forcefully.

Matt stared at the ground, letting his tears fall without any resistance, and whispered, "I just want her back… I want Chloe back…" He made a fist and punched the tile floor. "It's my fault she's gone. I just want her back… I wish there was some way to change everything."

"We know one thing for sure is that beating up Nikki isn't the solution," Jimmy added.

Without another word, Jim pulled Matt to his feet and pushed him out of the hallway.

"What hurts, baby?" Brian asked softly.

Nikki simply groaned and waved a hand over her ribs. Brian was hesitant to help, not knowing what to do. He ran his fingers over her ribs and she let out a whimper.

"We should probably get you to the hospital… Your ribs might be broken…" he said softly.

"No, I'm fine," she said quickly and trying to sit up but falling back in pain, "I just wanna go home…"

Brian stared down at her, raising a concerned eyebrow. "B-but…"

"I'm serious, Brian, I just want to go home…"

Brian lifted her up as gently as he could, avoiding her sensitive ribs but still making sure not to drop her. He walked in silence, not really sure what to say. Several minutes later, they arrived at Brian's car. He lowered her into the passenger seat and quickly jumped into the driver's seat.

She took a shallow breath and said, "Since I answered all of your questions, I want you to answer one of mine… Why is it that you take Chloe's death so lightly if she was your girlfriend? You knew that it what I did even before I told you, so why are you still with me? Shouldn't you hate me?"

Brian stared down at the steering wheel, afraid of catching her gaze, and let the keys fall into his lap. "Chloe and I were together for a while but we had a big fight about her being depressed all the time which resulted in us breaking up. And then she had that fight with Matt, so we all saw it coming. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what you did. I thought about it when I heard you talking in your sleep but I suddenly couldn't remember what school Chloe went to. I'd blocked her out of my mind. I wrote So Far Away as my way of letting go. 'I have so much to say but you're so far away,' it's my way of saying I'm sorry for everything. I want to tell her that but there's no way I can... All the guys have moved on, except for Matt. I thought he had by the way he'd been acting lately but I guess not. It's true, I do miss her, but that's normal when you lose someone. You're going to miss them at least a little bit. But there's no way in hell I could hate you…"

Nikki took a deep breath, wincing from the pain that shot her ribs, and whispered, "I love you, Brian…"

"I love you too…"

Author's Note: For those who do not know the Band Members very well. Matt does not have a young sister named Chloe. She is just an OC who i made up.