A/N: Yin 3 in 2D spoilers.
So It Must Be True
Some people might have called it a long day, but Carlton Lassiter knew better. Lassiter knew there were always 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute. Still, it seemed that a lot had happened in such a short span of time – more than usual, in fact. The police department had finally closed the Yin/Yang case. There had been surprises, horrors, and death.
This information and these experiences were something that Lassiter took in and processed, analyzed, stored.
In addition to this, Lassiter had witnessed his partner kissing the psychic.
This was also something that Lassiter took in and processed, analyzed, and stored.
Perhaps he should have recognized the signs before this, cataloged clues, but no matter.
What was done was done, and he was emotionless about all of it.
Now it was time to return to his crisp, clean apartment and wind down.
When he arrived at his place, he put his keys squarely on the hook. Took off his coat. Went to the kitchen.
If someone were around to watch, he might have taken out a beer from the fridge to "relax." He might have done a lot of things that they would find natural, normal, human. Like blinking. But there was no one and it was unnecessary. So instead he reached into the cabinet below the kitchen sink and took out a small can.
He drank from the nozzle, letting the liquid go through him, but he did not taste it. It was pure energy, needed for continued activity. His internal system would be sustained.
After this, Carlton Lassiter went into his bedroom.
He didn't need a bed, but it was good to keep up appearances. He would lie there in the night, just in case something happened – if someone broke in, came for an unexpected visit – it had to look like he had slept.
No one else knew and it was best not to let them know. They might find the truth disconcerting, hard to adjust to, even sinister (although he was only meant for good, his creator had made sure of it).
In his room, Carlton took off his tie, shirt, and pants.
He moved as if to scratch his back, but instead found a small mole-like anomaly just below his shoulder blade. Underneath this facade of fake skin, Lassiter found the dial.
It was metal, connected to wires.
No blood or sinew could be found here, on this body. Only simulations of such things. And that was only if you could call it a "body."
Lassiter turned the dial to the label which read in print to tiny for human eyes, "hibernation mode."
His system immediately began to shut down; it went into the mode which most resembled human sleep.
He got into bed and laid there, waiting for the mode to set in completely.
If there were noises or motion around him later, his sensors would react appropriately. But otherwise, he would be in this mode til morning when his internal alarm would begin a chain reaction, renewing him for a new day.
If Carlton Lassiter, aka DP Model 215, had the capacity to consider something nice, he might say that it was nice not to have to think, feel, or toss and turn over the days events.
But qualifying something as nice wasn't in his programming.
DP Model 215 dealt with facts, processing, analyzing, and storing. Nothing more or less.
All in all, it was never very hard to be a robot.
A/N: Not really as funny as the others...in fact, I think I just disturbed myself a little bit. But it's a legitimately inspired Crack!fic.
