Disclaimer: not mine. His.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" screamed Legolas helplessly.
The small bands of orcs had found the perfect moment to strike, and Legolas had been taken prisoner. He was being marched through the forest, tied to a stretcher and carried upside down by 2 orcs. The leader marched in front.
"I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate......." mumbled one of the orcs carrying Legolas.
"Oi numbskull, what do you hate?" asked the other carrying orc.
"WHAT? What did you say?" asked the first orc.
"What do you hate? Simple question, numbskull."
"Don't bother talking to him, bonehead" spoke the leader commandingly.
"Oh please, rock brain. What do you know about our village idiot?" said bonehead.
"More than you. He has an earwax buildup and our Q-tip rations just got cut in half again" replied rock brain.
"Wait a minute, are your names seriously numbskull, rock brain and bonehead?" asked Legolas
"Yes. But shut up, prisoner!"
Legolas cracked up laughing uncontrollably. The orcs were not pleased.
"How do we shut him up, rock brain? You're the leader!" asked bonehead.
"I don't know!"
"Well you should! You're nothing but a stupid orc with rocks for brains!"
"You're even stupider than me! You're the one with the bone head!"
"Everybody's head is bony!"
"Oh yeah?"
"YEAH!"
Dropping the stretcher (Legolas falls into deep hole), bonehead charged towards rock brain. Soon the two were banging heads with loud, sickening cracks. Meanwhile, numbskull quietly looted their travel packs, stealing everybody's Q-tip rations.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!" screamed Legolas as he thudded onto the bottom of the hole. It was dimly lit, and he was laying it a small field of.....mushrooms! He tried to get up, but his hands were still stuck together, so he had to crawl up the side of a large mushroom.
Just as he was situating himself, a very small man came running up to him out of nowhere.
"Hello! My name is......ummmmmmm.....i can't remember! And you must be.........ummmmmmmmmmm.........i can't seem to recall. Welcome to my home, this is the land of........well, I'll tell you if I can remember, but I can't! Oh now, what was I trying to remember again? ummmmmmmmmmmmm"
"Right...well, I'm Legolas. Why are you wearing underwear on your head? And mittens on your feet?"
"I can never seem to remember where everything goes so I don't even bother trying"
For such an idiot the little man sounded very cheerful. Suddenly another figure thumped onto the ground, and a loud moan of pain rose up from the elf.
"Haldir! Help me, my hands are still stuck!" yelled Legolas, rushing over to him.
"Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I got caught between one of your capturers' headbangs. Rocky, Bullwinkle and skull head or whatever" muttered Haldir.
"Rock brain, numbskull and bonehead. Oh yeah. Well, the stupid Epoxy glue still won't come off!"
"And I'm going to do what about that?"
"Help me get it off, of course" said Legolas. He was Prince of Mirkwood, right? Everybody listened to him.
"No thanks. I just want to get out of this stupid hole already." Said Haldir as he rubbed his head.
Legolas looked about ready to launch into pout-mode when he glanced over at the strange little short man.
"Hey little guy who can't remember stuff!" yelled Legolas.
"At your service! Who are you again?"
"Oh nevermind! Do you by any chance know how to remove Epoxy glue from skin. For instance, my hands?" asked Legolas.
"Oh yes!," exclaimed the little man, "I just learned that yesterday! You just do.......ummmmmmmmmm..................well......................... I can't remember...................."
"Don't make me hurt you little guy. Now just give it a try!" exclaimed Legolas
"Errmmmmm.....okay......what am I doing again?" said the little man.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're removing the Epoxy glue from my hands!"
"Oh yes......well, here goes" said the man happily.
BOOM
Suddenly Legolas and Haldir were in a bubble. It was blue-ish/transparent and It was floating up, up, UP.
"Legolas?" said Haldir timidly.
"What? Isn't this fun!?"
They were floating out of the hole, away from the bodies of the orcs (who had headbanged themselves to death).
"I'm scared of heights, Legolas. And we're up very high....oooohhhh I want my mommy and my teddy bear!" said Haldir
"Oooh boy. You think you know a guy. This guy spends his whole life climbing trees and he's afraid of heights. What is the world coming to?"
While Legolas had fun looking at Mirkwood from a bubble, Haldir was rummaging around in their packs, looking for something and uttering curses about young elves who have bad manners that have to be brought somewhere else by poor innocent messengers like himself.
"Hey look Haldir, it's a Cyclops! Wow!" exclaimed Legolas, pointing to a creature stumbling through the woods to the north.
"But it has 2 eyes. Doesn't Cyclops only have 1?"
"It must be a Bicyclops then," said Legolas.
More rummaging and muttered curses from Haldir and.....
"AHA! I found it!" exclaimed the elf.
"Found what?" asked Legolas
"A needle. I don't know what you were doing with a mini sewing kit in your pack, though. You're even more of a pansy elf prince than I thought!" laughed Haldir.
Legolas looked at the sewing kit and the traveling pack. "Errmmm, Haldir, I hate to break it to you but that was in your pack," said Legolas as he shuffled through Haldir's pack, "And lookee here! A music box! And a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a......oh Varda, I do NOT want to know why THAT is in there!"
"Get out of there!" yelled Haldir as he snatched away the pack, "Just because I'm scared of heights doesn't mean I'm not still in charge of you! And I've decided that the best course of action is to make a crash landing. Bombs away!!!!!!"
With that Haldir punctured the blue-ish/transparent bubble with the needle, and the two fell through the air. Haldir flailed his arms around, and Legolas realized that his hands were still stuck together.
sorry it took me so long ruler (and everybody else) but I had writer's block and a brain fart (very bad combination!). But now it is complete, so enjoy.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" screamed Legolas helplessly.
The small bands of orcs had found the perfect moment to strike, and Legolas had been taken prisoner. He was being marched through the forest, tied to a stretcher and carried upside down by 2 orcs. The leader marched in front.
"I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate......." mumbled one of the orcs carrying Legolas.
"Oi numbskull, what do you hate?" asked the other carrying orc.
"WHAT? What did you say?" asked the first orc.
"What do you hate? Simple question, numbskull."
"Don't bother talking to him, bonehead" spoke the leader commandingly.
"Oh please, rock brain. What do you know about our village idiot?" said bonehead.
"More than you. He has an earwax buildup and our Q-tip rations just got cut in half again" replied rock brain.
"Wait a minute, are your names seriously numbskull, rock brain and bonehead?" asked Legolas
"Yes. But shut up, prisoner!"
Legolas cracked up laughing uncontrollably. The orcs were not pleased.
"How do we shut him up, rock brain? You're the leader!" asked bonehead.
"I don't know!"
"Well you should! You're nothing but a stupid orc with rocks for brains!"
"You're even stupider than me! You're the one with the bone head!"
"Everybody's head is bony!"
"Oh yeah?"
"YEAH!"
Dropping the stretcher (Legolas falls into deep hole), bonehead charged towards rock brain. Soon the two were banging heads with loud, sickening cracks. Meanwhile, numbskull quietly looted their travel packs, stealing everybody's Q-tip rations.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!" screamed Legolas as he thudded onto the bottom of the hole. It was dimly lit, and he was laying it a small field of.....mushrooms! He tried to get up, but his hands were still stuck together, so he had to crawl up the side of a large mushroom.
Just as he was situating himself, a very small man came running up to him out of nowhere.
"Hello! My name is......ummmmmmm.....i can't remember! And you must be.........ummmmmmmmmmm.........i can't seem to recall. Welcome to my home, this is the land of........well, I'll tell you if I can remember, but I can't! Oh now, what was I trying to remember again? ummmmmmmmmmmmm"
"Right...well, I'm Legolas. Why are you wearing underwear on your head? And mittens on your feet?"
"I can never seem to remember where everything goes so I don't even bother trying"
For such an idiot the little man sounded very cheerful. Suddenly another figure thumped onto the ground, and a loud moan of pain rose up from the elf.
"Haldir! Help me, my hands are still stuck!" yelled Legolas, rushing over to him.
"Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I got caught between one of your capturers' headbangs. Rocky, Bullwinkle and skull head or whatever" muttered Haldir.
"Rock brain, numbskull and bonehead. Oh yeah. Well, the stupid Epoxy glue still won't come off!"
"And I'm going to do what about that?"
"Help me get it off, of course" said Legolas. He was Prince of Mirkwood, right? Everybody listened to him.
"No thanks. I just want to get out of this stupid hole already." Said Haldir as he rubbed his head.
Legolas looked about ready to launch into pout-mode when he glanced over at the strange little short man.
"Hey little guy who can't remember stuff!" yelled Legolas.
"At your service! Who are you again?"
"Oh nevermind! Do you by any chance know how to remove Epoxy glue from skin. For instance, my hands?" asked Legolas.
"Oh yes!," exclaimed the little man, "I just learned that yesterday! You just do.......ummmmmmmmmm..................well......................... I can't remember...................."
"Don't make me hurt you little guy. Now just give it a try!" exclaimed Legolas
"Errmmmmm.....okay......what am I doing again?" said the little man.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're removing the Epoxy glue from my hands!"
"Oh yes......well, here goes" said the man happily.
BOOM
Suddenly Legolas and Haldir were in a bubble. It was blue-ish/transparent and It was floating up, up, UP.
"Legolas?" said Haldir timidly.
"What? Isn't this fun!?"
They were floating out of the hole, away from the bodies of the orcs (who had headbanged themselves to death).
"I'm scared of heights, Legolas. And we're up very high....oooohhhh I want my mommy and my teddy bear!" said Haldir
"Oooh boy. You think you know a guy. This guy spends his whole life climbing trees and he's afraid of heights. What is the world coming to?"
While Legolas had fun looking at Mirkwood from a bubble, Haldir was rummaging around in their packs, looking for something and uttering curses about young elves who have bad manners that have to be brought somewhere else by poor innocent messengers like himself.
"Hey look Haldir, it's a Cyclops! Wow!" exclaimed Legolas, pointing to a creature stumbling through the woods to the north.
"But it has 2 eyes. Doesn't Cyclops only have 1?"
"It must be a Bicyclops then," said Legolas.
More rummaging and muttered curses from Haldir and.....
"AHA! I found it!" exclaimed the elf.
"Found what?" asked Legolas
"A needle. I don't know what you were doing with a mini sewing kit in your pack, though. You're even more of a pansy elf prince than I thought!" laughed Haldir.
Legolas looked at the sewing kit and the traveling pack. "Errmmm, Haldir, I hate to break it to you but that was in your pack," said Legolas as he shuffled through Haldir's pack, "And lookee here! A music box! And a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a......oh Varda, I do NOT want to know why THAT is in there!"
"Get out of there!" yelled Haldir as he snatched away the pack, "Just because I'm scared of heights doesn't mean I'm not still in charge of you! And I've decided that the best course of action is to make a crash landing. Bombs away!!!!!!"
With that Haldir punctured the blue-ish/transparent bubble with the needle, and the two fell through the air. Haldir flailed his arms around, and Legolas realized that his hands were still stuck together.
sorry it took me so long ruler (and everybody else) but I had writer's block and a brain fart (very bad combination!). But now it is complete, so enjoy.
