Dear Diary,

So... as I said, I stayed with the Cullen's. The Cullen 'children' and I quickly became close. I never intended to hurt anyone. Alice and I would have long talks. Emmett was fun to play video games with. Jasper turned out to be a great conversationalist and they all helped me adjust to not being able to sleep. That was a hard transition. I always enjoyed my naps and just laying down with my eyes closed did not cut it.

My thirst was my downfall. I was trying to exist on animals. I really did want to but it was difficult. People just smelled so good all the time. It was like a urge that could not shake. A itch that I could not scratch. I normally hunted with Emmett. As a newborn, I was strong but Emmett was the one whose own strength came closest to mine.

This is hard for me. Describing what happened... It's all my fault.

I tracked a deer too close to civilization. As I fed, a group of young adults saw it all. Emmett tried to get me out of there but I was in a frenzy. It was not long before there were rumors... human like monsters. People started talking about Vampires. The humans were scared.

Cue the Volturi...

It was Alice that first knew they were coming. I wanted to run. Carlisle wanted me to stay. He saw what had happened as a mistake. As if it could be forgotten. I should have run. I should have gotten as far away as possible.

The Volturi wanted me dead. They stood outside the house and I stood before them trembling but ready to be judged. So many of them against me. Esme and Carlisle were there as well but I had pleaded for them not to intervene. They were innocent.

Aro had been the one to pass judgement. My death at their hands. I looked between the Volturi members. Aro, Marcus, Jane, Alec, Caius and Felix.

It all happened so fast... one minute Felix was coming for me. Esme was screaming something I could not make out. Carlisle's voice was in the background. Felix was inches from me and then I was shoved to the side. Screaming intensified and there was a squelching sound. Then a wail of pain.

When the fighting cleared and I was able to sit up, Esme was dead. Felix had backed away in shock and the others watched silently. Carlisle had dropped to his knees beside his wife and cradled her body in his arms as he screamed. The others had come running out with all the noise and I... I just fucking sat there.

Why did Esme do it? I wish to god I knew.. I wish I knew what she had been thinking. Was it because she made me? Was she protective of me? I should have died not her. Aro stepped towards me now and I looked up at him. Wanting death. "There has been enough death!" Carlisle barked suddenly. His voice was tight and his eyes... terrifying even now when I see them. Esme had been an angel, he had told Aro, and the glue of the coven and Carlisle would not stand for her death to be in vain.

I remember everything like it was yesterday. Carlisle would tell me quite some time after that it was because the Volturi craved Carlisle and many of the others. Carlisle had been in their ranks in the past. Esme's death was a accident. It was Marcus who agreed to Carlisle's terms. I was to be hidden away. Isolated. No Humans to see me but plenty of animals.