Thank you for the reviews so far, honestly didn't expect anybody to read this. I love this fandom and I haven't written anything for ages, this is my therapy so thanks for reading xx

Chapter 3

I watched on from the decking as Jack ran down the beach to Holden who was stood next to a blonde woman. I could see Jack interact and even though he checked on Holden he was far more interested in the woman. This didn't bother me as I would probably do the same thing but I was never that obvious.

I have no idea how got so distracted, I mean Holden was a wanderer but he had never left our private beach. Jack snapped at Holden for no reason and it really pissed me off. That child barely saw his father and one of the first things he did was snap at him. Of course it turned into another argument about 'us' and our so called marriage.

I used to love an argument when I was younger, it gave me a buzz and I always enjoyed the make up sex especially with my high school girlfriend. With Jack our arguments always ended with him leaving sooner and staying away longer which I really didn't mind but it hurt Holden.

They are heading back towards me so I move closer so I can check my soon is ok. Jack smiles that cute smile and picks up Holden so I can see him properly.

"What we're you thinking buddy? You know you should never go to the beach on your own" I semi scold as I take my son from Jack. Holden looks at me with those chocolate eyes and I melt over and over.

"Sworeeee I don't like yelling" Holden admits breaking my heart. We normally keep are arguing until we are alone but today was different Jack was just an ass and I couldn't hold it in.

"We're sorry buddy, we didn't mean to upset you I promise" Jack replied looking upset that he had caused our son any distress.

"Sometimes Momma and Daddy argue but we still love each other" I'm lying to my son, I'm lying to myself and I am lying to my husband. Jack kisses Holden on the forehead and then me, I force a smile back.

"Can we go now?" Holden sighs as he wriggles free putting on his baseball cap. I catch my reflection in the mirror and don't remember looking like this. I look plain, I don't look like me anymore and that makes me immediately sad. I'm only 27 yet my cargo shorts and vest top make me look about 45 which is depressing. I understand that looking after my son is far more important than feeling attractive but fuck do I miss feeling hot.

"You guys go ahead and I'll meet you there" I instruct with a smile and I head upstairs immediately rummaging through my wardrobes which are mostly full of plain clothes which I would never choose. God when did this happen? When did I lose Ashley? All these questions are spinning through my head making my dizzy. I finally locate some of my actual clothes at the back of the wardrobe and I yank them out causing complete chaos but I don't mind. I smile to myself as locate a black pinstripe waistcoat that I used to wear as a top with the brightest bra in my closet, I probably won't go that extreme though.

I grab a pair of denim shorts and my favourite polka dot bikini, getting changed quickly and I can't help but smile as I admire my reflection. Luckily all the running and surfing has kept me in shape. I quickly curl my hair and let it hang loose rather than scrapping it back into a pony tail. The final touch is some black eyeliner and for first time in over years I feel a bit more like me.

I already know that Jack will probably make some sort of comment but I don't care. Holden doesn't care how I look, he loves me unconditionally and that is why my heartbeats. The only other person to make my heartbeat was my high school girlfriend but I ruined that in true Ashley Davie's style but I don't dwell on that any more or at least I won't admit to it anyway.

I grab my camera and head down the beach to find my family hoping that the day gets a little bit better.

Spencer's POV

The beach is absolutely rammed, I have to fight my way to the press booth to get my passes so I can trying to get interviews. The weather is at least perfect so I can work on my tan while I stand around waiting.

I finally get to the front, giving the cute girl my name and removing my sunglasses in the process so I can see her properly. I appreciate I have a girlfriend and I would never cheat but this girl was just my type, dark hair, tanned skin and and brown eyes. You'd think my experiences in high school would put me off this exact 'type' but I never over past it.

The girl smiles back and I can tell that she is checking me out which makes me smile, no harm in flirting back a bit I think to myself.

"Here you go Miss Carlin" The brunette says as she passes me my press pack.

"Thank you Jenny" I smile back, reading her name tag which makes her blush.

"You're more than welcome. Look if you need anything else I'm about all day" She informs me with a flirty smile which I return.

"I'll bear that in mind" I grab my passes and head to the crowds to get some photos of the beach set up. I look back at Jenny and she is watching me leave which makes me smile. Still got in Carlin.

As I head towards the competition viewing deck I bump into somebody or something at waist height. Looking down my eyes land on the kid from earlier at the beach. His parents should put a leash on him or something.

"You're not running away again are you?" I ask him and he smiles.

"No Momma and Daddy are just there" He points over to some towels where the guy from earlier is stood next to a lady with her back to me. They don't see me but I watch as he kisses her on the head, wrapping his arms around her. I wonder whether I just misunderstood his behaviour earlier, maybe he wasn't sleaze after all.

"Momma! This is the lady from the beach" Holden yells causing the brunette to turn around finally revealing her face. I swear my heart stopped beating all together, I refocused my eyes on the woman in front of and I could barely breathe. I had not looked at those chocolate brown eyes since I was 18 years old. She looks as shocked as I do and neither of us move despite Holden dragging me by my hand.

She still looks good, was there really any doubt that Ashley Davies would get better with age. I'm still being pulled by the tiny human and before I know it we are face to face. We are touching distance and I think I may vomit. She's just staring at me as if she's seen a ghost.

"Nice to see you again" Jack's voice pulls me from my thoughts and makes Ashley and I break our stare. I look down at Holden who is smiling at me widely and then again at Jack who looks a bit uncomfortable. I need to get out of there and quickly.

"Honey this is the lady that found our runaway this morning" Jack explains looking a bit lost. Ashley looks lost and scared, like she doesn't know how to react. I almost feel sorry for her until I remember that she broke my heart into a million pieces.

"Spencer…." She finally says in her husky voice that I remember so well. Our eyes meet again and I am paralysed in that moment. I have not heard that voice in nearly 10 years and in spite of myself it still leaves me weak.

"You guys know each other?" Jack asks placing a protective arm around Ashley's waist which I am sure makes her recoil.

"We went to high school together" I answer keeping everything vague. Holden has already lost interest in the conversation and is playing in the sand.

"I've never met any of Ashley's old friends, very nice to meet you Spencer" Jack offers and I offer a weak smile in return to them both.

"Look I need to go I have work to do" I wasn't lying I did have work but it wasn't exactly urgent. I just needed to get out as my brain could not compute what was happening. I thought about Ashley Davies a lot over the last 10 years but I never thought this would be her. My Ashly would never be with a man and the Ashley I knew was not Mom material.

"Bye Spencer" Jack waves me off pulling Ashley closer but I see her break free and she's following me. I feel her hand on my arm, shivers.

"Spence wait…" Ashley begs and I stop without knowing why.

"Ashley I need to go" I lie again.

"I…you…." She doesn't move as I leave which I am happy about but it also brings back the memories of Ashley leaving me so many times before. I look back at her and she has tears in her eyes which makes me want to go back to her but I can't. Ashley has cleared moved on and so have I.