Friend Like Me
You're the boss
The king, the shah
Piles and piles of gold filled the chamber from floor to ceiling. There was more gold in that one room than could ever be feasibly held by one nation's treasury. McGee was so overwhelmed by the sight that he nearly fainted. Luckily, he was already cradled in Tony's arms so his light swoon didn't cause him to fall to the ground. As Tony began to weave his way through the mountains of treasure, he couldn't help but stare at everything with profane greed. Even coming from a wealthy family couldn't have prepared him for the sight of such riches. In fact, it might have made things worse. He had known a life of luxury. It had been some time since he'd left that life behind, and a handful of this gold could have brought it all back.
"We'd better not touch anything." McGee warned.
"You think?" Tony said as he continued to gawk at the hoard in disbelief. "You don't think Ziva's the kind whose goodwill can be bought, do you?"
"Not with this stuff. It's forbidden." McGee gestured to a dark passage off to one side of the treasure room. "Look, that must be the lamp chamber."
"I suppose you'd be less than worthless if I needed backup in there." Tony smirked.
The monkey gave a sheepish grin. "I don't have a gun."
"Great." Tony laughed. "Well, Probie…it's a good day to die."
"I can't watch." McGee covered his eyes as they began the treck into the dark, barren lamp room.
The chamber was empty save for a massive spike-like hill jutting up out of the center. McGee spotted a suspicious glint at its peak. He pointed it out and Tony marched up the path toward it, knowing that it had to be the lamp they were searching for. The climb was steep but manageable. After all they'd been through in the desert, the hike hardly seemed an adequate challenge. Waiting for them at the top was a tarnished copper lamp. Tony pressed his hands against the rock as he searched for traps associated with the removal of the seemingly meaningless trinket, then knelt beside the pedestal and rubbed his chin while he pondered over what to do.
"You've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark too many times." McGee jumped down from Tony's shoulder and, carefully, lifted the tarnished piece of junk from its resting place on the pedestal. The rock above them shifted, sending a shower of pebbles down on them.
Tony covered his head with his arms and cringed. "Put it back, put it back, put it back," he chanted through gritted teeth.
"Calm down." McGee chuckled as he carried the lamp back down the spire. "Look, it stopped. It was probably just the cave moving somewhere else."
"Oh, yeah," Tony muttered. "Don't worry, we're only traipsing around in the bowels of an over-grown sand monster."
"Let's get out of here before something bad really does happen." McGee gestured to the treasure room.
"How do you suggest we do that? The entrance is blocked. Genie's the only way out." Tony ripped the lamp out of McGee's hands and sat down at the base of the spire.
"Ziva's probably in the lamp." McGee said suddenly. "It would certainly fit in with the whole curse thing."
"What makes you think she's cursed?" Tony asked.
"She was cursed last time," McGee said.
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well maybe Michael was her prince charming and kissed it off."
"He did kiss her enough, I guess." McGee flinched at Tony's expression. "Not to poke a sore spot or anything."
"Sure. Well, whoever's in here is about to get a wakeup call." Tony rubbed the lamp.
A burst of thick, blue smoke exploded out of the spout of the lamp with a horrendous bang. McGee flattened himself against the ground as the smoke shot past his head to ricochet off the wall behind him. "Whoa! That thing's dangerous!"
"Look out!" Tony dodged the smoke as it doubled back around the cave. The blue smoke stopped in front of them. It began to solidify into the form of a young woman with brassy brown hair and golden cuffs around her wrists. It took Tony all of two seconds to recognize her. "McGee, I think it's Kate."
"You know, it's not nice to talk about people like they're not there." Kate waved away the last of the smoke to reveal herself.
"Just what we need." McGee groaned.
"You're not glad to see me?" Kate frowned. "I'm hurt."
"It's not that." McGee shook his head. "But ever since you died, you've been nothing but trouble."
"Helps the time go by." She chuckled. "I'm just trying to help, you know that."
"Not sure if we really want you to help us." McGee glanced at Tony. "You do remember the whole dragon incident?"
Tony remembered, quite vividly, the magical, dragony cat-fight that Ziva and Kate had had atop a sky scraper in New York City. It had been a brutal fight, and McGee wasn't the only one who thought it might have been more trouble than any of them had needed. But perhaps, he realized, it had been inevitable. Without such a violent encounter, Tony wasn't sure he would have ever wanted to wake up and leave the dream behind. It was still hard, sometimes, and he wondered if his inability to move on was part of what had summoned Kate from beyond the grave once again.
"Doesn't matter. Kate's the one making up the rules. We're better off playing along." Tony took a long look at his old partner and sighed. "I trust you, Kate. Terrifying as all this is, I know your heart's in the right place."
"Even if your next lesson is that you have to move on?" Kate smirked.
Tony grumbled something about the good old days when dead people would mind their own business.
"Is that the point?" McGee asked. "Are we supposed to just forget about her? That's it? She's gone for good?"
The humor in Kate's eyes faded away. "Look, I'm not going to just give you the answers. That's cheating."
"Fine. Where's Ziva?" Tony asked.
"You get three wishes and no free information, DiNozzo." Kate snapped her fingers. Sparks danced in excited, serpentine patterns across the ceiling. Fountains of glitter fell from the wriggling sparks overhead. Then, with a flash, the entire cave was as bright as daylight. The treasure beyond the lamp chamber gleamed with blinding brilliance.
"I wish I knew where Ziva is and if she's safe." Tony said.
"She's at the palace. Safe in one world, dying in the other." Kate picked at her nails. "Ugh…this sand just gets everywhere."
"What do you mean dying?" Tony demanded.
"I think that one's self explanatory." McGee whispered. "Look, she's either fine here, or she's fine in the real world."
"She can't be in too much danger in the palace." Tony took a deep breath to force down the panic before it could completely overpower him. "Either way…she needs us."
"She's Ziva. She doesn't need anyone. You said so yourself." Kate said.
"I was wrong." Tony looked down at McGee. "We have to get into the palace. Ari's right. I'll need a disguise. Nobody but a prince is going to get through that front door without a fight."
"Not to mention that Director David kind of hates you." Kate pointed out.
"That's very helpful, thank you," Tony said, his voice riddled with sarcasm.
McGee shrugged. "Well, let's blow all three wishes, then. You need to be a prince, and we still need to get out of here."
"Let's make it official, Kate." Tony stood and spread his arms. "I wish I was a prince."
Ziva meandered about the palace with Gibbs the tiger at her side. As she wandered into the garden, she scooped up a white, bell shaped flower and held it to her nose. This place seemed so innocent. Safe. It was a pleasant delusion if nothing else. By the end of the second day, she found herself beginning to relax into the rhythm of this strange new world. It was magnificent, beautiful, serene. She could hear the trill of doves in the menagerie. The slow, graceful trickle of the water fountain. It was hard to believe that this wasn't real. It felt like her entire past was the dream and she was finally waking up from a prolonged nightmare.
Except that it still felt too empty.
A man walked into the courtyard, chest out and nose so high that a bird could have roosted in either nostril. He announced himself to Ziva with a flourishing bow, claiming to be the most handsome and powerful prince in all the land. "I have come to add you to my collection, young princess. For you are fair enough to add a glimmer to my crown."
Gibbs growled.
Ziva narrowed her eyes. "You would marry me for the money it would bring you?"
"What else could a prince want but more?" He replied. "Though you are only a trifle, your dowry is not. With your hand I could gain this marvelous land and the black gold beneath it. And your people would benefit from the rule of a truly great sultan."
"And what would become of me?"
"You would live with my other wives and give pleasure to your lord." He gave a sly grin. "Which is what every lady desires."
"That sounds like something Tony would say." Ziva glowered. "Gibbs?"
Gibbs might not have shared Ziva's sudden hatred for DiNozzo, but he didn't like this pompous fool one bit. He bared his teeth in a silent threat.
"Call off your beast." The prince ordered.
"Maybe you'd better leave." Ziva turned and walked away.
"I shall leave when I'm ready." At the tiger's growl, however, the prince did begin walking back the way he'd come. "I shall return for you later, my bride."
Gibbs couldn't take it any more. He charged after him.
Author's Note: Keep those reviews coming! I want to hear from you!
