Well, congratulations! You've managed to find episode three of a Currently Title-less Crossover. Awesome! You're such a smart cookie. So, anyway, I can't really think of anything that needs to be said here, so I'll just shut up now so you can read what you want to read. WAIT I just thought of something to say. So far I've been good about keeping the episodes consistently on Thursday evenings. But if future episodes aren't up in time, please don't yell at me. I'm doing my best to keep them coming and if I'm late I'll get it up as fast as I can. Thanks. :)


Oh wait, hang on a second. I forgot my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: You know what? I can't think of any good lines, so I'll just say it like a boring person: I don't own any of these stories, which means I do not own Rent, Harry Potter, Twilight, Abarat, Lord of the Rings, Maximum Ride, Sweeney Todd, The Underland Chronicles, or the Legend of Zelda; Twilight Princess. Even though I wish I did. Yes, it's a sad world. But I have chocolate, so that's almost as good. :)

Okay, now you can read it.



Hello, world! Welcome back this Thursday night to another episode of your favorite show - no, not Family Guy, not Heroes, not America's Funniest Home e, not The Simpsons, not House, not Hannah Montana, not iCarly, not Zach and Cody, not Spongebob, Dora, Dragon Tales, Arthur, or Caillou , but yes, you guessed it, A Currently Title-less Crossover!!!!! Wooh!!!! Last week, all of our players split up accordingly, had a fight-to-near-death but didn't get a chance to kill each other because Captain Jack stupidly killed himself to test whether or not you could actually die on this show. Turns out you can, apparently. So the two Jacks were our first characters to leave the show. Which character will be killed off this week? Keep watching to find out. Also, we have an announcement: Due to football schedules in our region (we don't know about yours) this show has been cut from an hour time slot to a half-hour time slot. Which means this episode will be very short. We apologize for the inconvenience but it wasn't our fault. So go squirt those football players with Super Soakers. Okay. I'm going to shut up now, because this isn't one of those shows that talks the whole time about what happened and what's going to happen instead of actually RUNNING THE SHOW okay I'm shutting up.

Camera fades in on Fang and Ari. Fang is not saying anything, but is visibly steaming about not being able to kill his flying opponent while he had the chance. Ari is also not saying anything, and is evidently trying to look small and meek, neither of which are working at all given his horrific appearance. After a few minutes, however, this being quiet is obviously too much for the human-avian-lupine mutant.

"Fang...I'm going to expire," he says softly. Fang rounds on him immediately.

"Shut the hell up, Ari! I don't give a DAMN if you're going to expire. If you die, all that means for me is that I might get kicked off the show because my partner is dead. No, you know what? Scratch that. My partner won't be dead, 'cause you're not my partner. MAX is my partner. You're the lame-brain flying Eraser who I HATE but got stuck with anyway. I would kill you myself, but then I would probably get disqualified. So please. If you want to have any minuscule chance at redeeming yourself with me, please, PLEASE just shut up and don't expire until AFTER I win this. Man," he adds, blowing off the last of his steam. "I cannot BELIEVE Max cried at your funeral."

Ari seems to perk up at this. "She cried at my funeral?"

"Yeah," mutters Fang, apparently done talking after his out-of-character rant. "And Nudge. And Total."

"Anyone else?"

"Doesn't matter." Fang sighs to himself, then takes a few steps forward and launches himself into the air, spreading out his enormous black wings and soaring away, toward the beach, like some immense hawk. Ari sighs too, alone again.

"I'm going to expire," he murmurs softly to himself.

It seems Fang has a long way to go before he forgives Ari. I wonder how long they'll last this way. Let's have a look at...Mrs. Lovett and Mr. Todd, shall we?

Camera does the really cool zooming-around thing to focus on Sweeney and Nellie sitting on the beach.

And here they are! Looks like their spot hasn't moved since last night. Sweeney seems to be in a bad mood. Oh, wait, never mind. I forgot that's just his face.

"I must get to the judge," he mutters to himself.

"Mista Tee..."begins Mrs. Lovett softly.

"Death."

"But you don't even know what I was about to ask.

"Death."

"Fine, then, I won't see if I can go find us some food even thought I'm starving."

"I must get to the judge."

Mrs. Lovett sighs. "The judge isn't HERE!"

"Death, death, death..."

Well, those two...could do with some help, if you ask me. Which you shouldn't, because I'm just the announcer, so I'm not supposed to be opinionated. Let's look at Ripred and Ares now, por favor. As we know, or maybe as some of you don't know, Ripred is a rager; a natural born killer. As he himself commented in the last episode, he cannot be taken down by less than 400 enormous rats. Underland rats. Ripred is also not known for being the kindest, most compasionate of rats. In fact, since his mate and pups were killed, he's basically been friendless and without love. How's he getting along with Ares, I wonder? Let's find out.

Camera zooms around, blah, blah, blah. Focuses on Ripred, standing in the middle of the open plane. He's pacing around in circles. There's a thin line in the grass that signifies he has been doing this for hours. Ares at first cannot be found, but the camera tilts up to capture him gliding around in no particular pattern, just flying to fly.

"Would you get down!" hisses Ripred at him. "I told you, our first threat is that flying kid. The one with wings. He's a freak."

Says the giant rat.

"We have to take him out first. Afterwards, the rest of them are sitting ducks. Well, maybe not." He shakes his head frustratedly. "That girl on the wolf. The greasy man with the elf. The guy with snakes in his collar. All of them. Magic. What the heck! How are we supposed to go up against them when they have an unfair advantage? This game is run by sadists!

*Cough, cough* I really have no idea what he's talking about.

"So, obviously the flying kid is our priority. After him, we need to take out those other three. It won't be tricky. We'll need an excellent plan. Any ideas?"

"Why do you assume I agree with you?"

Ares says this so quietly its difficult to tell if that's what he said.

"What?"

"Perhaps I do not agree with you. Perhaps I am tired of you assuming position as leader!" snaps the bat.

My, my. Being dead seems to have both worsened Ares' mood and increased his volume and willingness to speak up. And his courage. It's unlikely anyone's ever spoken to Ripred like that and gotten away with it.

Ripred looks slightly shocked. Ares realizes he may have crossed a line because he starts flying again, but very low to the ground.

"So you're agreeing with me?"

"I suppose," mutters Ares.

"Well, then, come down here and help me think of a plan. All of this hiding out and not knowing where anyone else is is driving me insane."

Ares lands with a sigh, folding his wings carefully and balancing on his small feet.

Well, we can't hang around here any longer. Rule of show is that you can't find out what people's plans are before they've decided on one. And we totally did NOT ignore that rule last episode for Link and Midna. OH MY GIDDY GOD'S TROUSERS, we're out of time. Holy crap, this show was extremely short. Damn you, football! As sad as it is, this WILL be our last episode until next Thursday, when I promise we will show you everything exciting that's happened. We will have a full hour next week, I swear.

As always, I hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode. If you want to see a character voted off the show, just drop us a line and we'll try to, erm, manipulate things a bit. Flying coconuts and such. Tune in next week to see the action that we didn't have time for tonight. This is The Amazing Announcer saying goodnight, and Live long and prosper!


And that's a wrap! Thanks for reading, people. This episode is short because my two options were A) Give you and episode but make it short or B) Not give you one at all. Be grateful. I promise there'll be much more exciting stuff next week.

So, tell me what you think. Do you love it? Think it was okay? Hate it so much you think I should burn in H-E-double-hockey-sticks forever for attempting such a sad piece of fanfiction? Drop me a review to give me your thoughts. HINT. HINT. Also, so far only one person has asked to have his/her favorite characters remain on the show, so only six of our currenty 18 are safe. If you don't tell me what you'd like, you may find your favorites being murdered next week. Peace owt and I hope you liked it.