I can't thank you enough for the reviews. I was actually worried that I put too much detail in this, I find myself unable to not do it so it's a big relief to hear you don't hate it. Okay enough chit-chat here's the next chapter...


Chapter 3: Limbo


"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. (John 14:1)


The following day

Fin hadn't slept well at all during the night. His mind had been occupied with concern about his partner. Images of her on that pavement with her sister in her arms and her blood all over her. Hearing her violent sobs as he held on to her as he separated her from her sister. And then that peaceful image of her sleeping on top of her sister's body down in the morgue. Those sounds and images had haunted him all night long and he woke up feeling anything but rested or ready for whatever other horrifying events the day had ahead for all of them.

He fought the urge to call her, hoped that she would still be sleeping. As he stepped into the squad room Nick told him that wasn't the case though.

"Warner checked in. Rollins was in the morgue when she got there. Liv went down to check on her. It was like thirty minutes ago." Fin took a deep breath.

"Okay, thanks," he said and turned back around. He found Liv in a chair opposite Melinda behind her desk. They both greeted him and he nodded as a reply.

"You do not look rested," Liv said frankly.

"Did you sleep well?" Fin countered and Liv smiled sadly as she shook her head a little.

"Have you been in to check on her?" he asked and both women nodded.

"She tossed me out immediately earlier this morning. No one saw her come in so I'm not sure when she got here," Melinda informed him.

"I was in there like thirty minutes ago. She seems collected but I'm not really sure," Liv then said. "She said she wanted a few more minutes."

"Okay, I'll have a look," Fin said without much enthusiasm and then headed down the hall. He found her in that same chair again. She was sitting up this time though and he thought she was rocking a little bit back and forth. As he entered though she seemed to stop.

"Hi, it's just me," he said once she didn't turn to look at him.

"I know," she said, "you have your squeaky sneakers on." That made him smile briefly. He walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down and put his cheek briefly on the side of her head and then walked around the gurney so he could see her better. She looked collected just as Liv had described but by now he knew looks could be deceiving when it came to his partner.

"When did you get here?" he asked but she shrugged her shoulders as an answer. Her eyes never left her sister.

"Did you get any sleep at home?" He got a nod and hoped she was being truthful.

"You got a hold of your mom?" Again he got a nod.

"How did that go?" he asked not willing to give up on getting a verbal response at some point.

"Her biggest concerned seemed to be who would pay for the transfer of the body. When I told her I would pay for it she seemed fine." Amanda sounded cold but again he knew it could be just a front. He didn't doubt that this was her mother's actual response though. He didn't know much about the mother but he knew Amanda wasn't so fond of her and there must be a reason for it.

"You ready to head upstairs and do some work?" he asked to get her mind off whatever had taken place last night between her mother and her. Amanda's eyes finally met his as they flickered up at him.

"You'll help me prove she was murdered?" she asked a bit hesitant.

"I'll help you with whatever it is you need help with. I'm your partner."

"But you don't believe she was murdered?" Amanda looked as though she could start to cry but of course she didn't.

"I believe you Amanda. And if you say something's up here I trust you." She kept her eyes stuck at him for a while longer as she weight in his words and searched his eyes to make sure he was being honest. Once she fully bought what he said she gave him a tiny nod and then she stroke her sister's cheek.

He managed to get her out of there just a little while later and they went upstairs to meet whatever the day had in store for them. Cragen gave them some leeway to work on Kim's case. It was the least he could do for his young detective he figured. He would prefer that she go home and grieve the loss but he also knew this was something she had to get out of her system. If she thought her sister was killed by someone she needed to deal with it and as a detective dealing meant going about it as one of their cases.

When Amanda took a break to visit the bathroom though he made sure Fin knew he had to keep an eye on her and report back if anything happen. Fin agreed even though he already knew he would cover for his partner in a second if she needed it. Cragen asked Liv and Nick to meanwhile work their current case. Liv really wanted to help out with Amanda but she knew better than to fight Cragen on this one. She let Fin know though that she was there if he, or Amanda, needed her.

After having spent some time at the 6th precinct with detective Radnor they drove over to talk to Cassie Swinton, the woman Kim had been staying with. They took two separate cars and as Fin drove up to the building he could feel the tension in his partner.

"You okay?" he asked and tried to keep it a bit casual so she wouldn't feel cornered. Her eyes had been glued to the house, or more so to the alley to its right. She managed to tear her eyes from it and gave him a nod once she looked at him. It wasn't convincing enough but he let it slide for now as she'd already started to move out of the car. Radnor had parked a little further up the street and came hustling over to them. Fin noticed that Amanda kept her eyes down as they walked across the street and headed inside. The elevator seemed to be out of order so they had to take the stairs which Fin cursed silently as he started to feel winded. Radnor led them to Cassie's door and she answered quickly after Radnor's first knock. For a brief second Amanda's heart stopped as the woman in front of them looked a whole lot like Kim. But of course she wasn't and when she quickly reached out and addressed Amanda, said her condolences, Amanda snapped out of it.

"Thank you," Amanda said silently. She felt herself get pulled into the apartment by Cassie who was still holding on to her hand.
"I'm just so very sorry. I don't know what happened. She seemed happy the day before, everything seemed fine," Cassie rambled as she brought Amanda into her living room. Radnor and Fin were close behind. A man who was sitting on the couch got up and reached over the table to shake Amanda's hand.

"Bobby. The boyfriend," he said. "I'm so sorry about your sister," he added and Amanda gave him a nod. Her eyes lingered on him as he got around to shake the other detective's hands. Right now everyone was a suspect to Amanda.

"You want something to drink? We only have like coffee or water though," Cassie offered. Amanda shook her head a little.
"I think we're fine," Radnor said in her place. Cassie nodded.
"Oh I just wish I'd stayed home with her. If I'd been here maybe…" Cassie fell short.

"Why don't you have a seat," Bobby suggested to Cassie whose eyes had teared up. Cassie looked at Amanda as to ask if she wanted to and Amanda nodded. They went over to the couch. Bobby had left the room but Radnor and Fin also had a seat. Cassie grabbed a tissue from a box that was out on the table and she wiped her nose. Amanda noticed a lot of used clots all over the place.

"So did you want to ask me something else? Or you perhaps?" Cassie had asked Radnor but then turned to Amanda with the next question. Amanda looked to Radnor, she wasn't sure she had the right to ask questions. Not that he would be able to stop her if she felt like it though but right now she felt a bit stunned. Radnor looked from Amanda back to Cassie.

"Yesterday we said that you should think about if there was anything else. Perhaps if Kim talked to someone else at that party Saturday? Or if she mentioned that she was seeing someone yesterday?" Radnor reminded her. She'd been pretty worked up yesterday. Her boyfriend had answered most questions about the party while Cassie at least had been able to tell him about how she ran into Kim at the Grand Central and how she'd ended up staying at her place.

"Yes, I've thought about it. We both have," Cassie said as Bobby walked back in and had a seat next to his girlfriend.

"But we can't think of anyone else who was at that party. And Kim talked to most of them, she seemed really happy that night," Cassie gave Amanda a smile and Amanda tried to send her one back.

"Sunday we just hung around here most of the day. We were going out for a bit but we ended up at the coffee shop just across the street. I was really hung over," Cassie admitted. Bobby stroked her back gently.

"We were all kinda hung over," he added. "Kim sobered up rather quickly though. I showed her this dance game on my Xbox," Bobby gestured towards the TV.

"Yeah," Cassie smiled at the memory, "she was dancing and laughing. Seemed to have a lot of fun. I just sat here on the couch feeling miserable but she really cheered me up."

"She seemed to have a lot of energy your sister," Bobby said and Amanda gave him a nod along with a sad smile.

"We liked her a whole lot. I mean it's not like I usually let complete strangers stay here but she was just so sweet," Cassie said with her eyes on Amanda. It did help a little to know that Kim spent her last days with people who seemed to like her. Amanda hadn't yet ruled them out as Kim's murderers though.

Radnor asked a few more questions, followed up on some names that had been at the party but they'd not yet been able to get in touch with. Bobby got up to fetch his phone to give Radnor the numbers he had for those missing party guests. Radnor followed him out to the kitchen. Amanda shot Fin a look, to him she seemed almost scared.

"How are you doing?" Cassie interrupted and Amanda turned to her. She wasn't sure what to say so she just nodded with a weak smile.

"I just can't believe this happened," Cassie mumbled getting teary eyed again.

"You were at your boyfriend's?" Amanda asked and Cassie nodded.

"When did you see her last?" Amanda asked even though she knew what she'd told detective Radnor. Cassie took a deep breath before she answered.

"I saw her Monday. She came into my work."

"At Luigi's coffeshop?" Amanda interrupted. Cassie nodded.

"Yeah. I'd promised to ask if she could pick up some extra shifts there but my boss is a total looser. We need more servers, especially for the later shifts but he's too cheap to hire more help." Cassie shook her head.

"So all I could get her was a free latte. She stayed around for a bit but then…" Cassie hesitated as she looked at Amanda with sad eyes.

"She said she was going to try and get a hold of you. But she never did, did she?" Cassie asked. This was news to Amanda and she shook her head.

"She told you how? Was she going to see me at the police station?" Amanda asked eagerly.

"Yeah I think so, she mentioned you worked nearby." Cassie went on to give her the address of her work place and it was not far from the precinct. Amanda tried to think back. She'd been out with Fin most of the day. They'd rode upstate to talk to their victim's family, stopped by the station just quickly before lunch and then headed back out only to check back in rather late. If Kim had been at the station though Amanda figured someone would have mentioned it to her. Perhaps she'd waited outside to see if she could catch Amanda? It hurt knowing she could have been so nearby but that Amanda never got to see her. If she'd met her sister could she have prevented this from happening? The question went around her head until Fin pulled her back as he stepped in to ask Cassie a question.

"Do you know if she ever went though? I mean did you talk to her later?" He'd seen Amanda space out and figured he had to step in to move this along. Cassie shook her head.

"I told her I would call her later but I just forgot. Too busy. I mean I was hanging with Bobby and we went to bed really early. We were both knackered. And then I had a shift at Luigi's in the morning and then Radnor called me. Just… awful. I'm really sorry I wasn't here with her," Cassie said and turned back to Amanda. Amanda wished Cassie had been home but she knew better than to blame her. Cassie seemed genuinely sweet. Amanda had a hard time believing she could have killed her sister but she was yet far from ruling her out completely. Bobby though… she thought as Radnor came walking back into the room with the boyfriend behind him. Radnor sat back down and Bobby stepped behind Amanda to go sit down on the couch again.

"I felt though as she really wanted to see you. She didn't say what or why but I just got a feeling she needed to apologize to you for something. She had regrets for something she'd done I'm sure of that."

"Cassie has a bit of a sixth sense for stuff like that." Bobby smiled and rubbed his girlfriend's thigh a little. Nothing more of value were said. Cassie had gathered up some more stuff that belonged to Kim and she handed the plastic bag to Amanda. As they were clearing out of there Amanda slipped Cassie her card and asked her to call her if she thought of anything or if she just felt like talking. Cassie out of the blue gave her a hug but then ran back into the apartment with tears going down her face.

"She's very emotional," Bobby aimed at Amanda excusing his girlfriend. Amanda just gave him a nod and soon they were down on the street again. They were left standing outside, Amanda could feel a question hanging in the air and wasn't surprised when Radnor approached it.

"This apologize she owed you…" he started. Amanda could tell he was a bit nervous about asking her this but she didn't hold it against him. Quite the opposite. She was happy he was doing his job. Following up leads so they could catch her sister's killer.

"Can I ask you what it was about?" Radnor asked. This time he caught the look Amanda gave Fin and the nod Fin gave her to urge her on to tell him.

"She…" Amanda hesitated. The last thing she wanted was to through shadow on her sister's memory but she needed to stick at least mostly to the truth and it was hard to paint what happened in anything but grey colors.

"The last time I saw her. I mean in February when she stayed with me. We had a bit of a falling out. She managed to get into some trouble. As usual," Amanda had to add. "She got arrested for public intoxication. I bailed her out, made sure it didn't go on her record." Amanda rolled her eyes now. So many times she'd gotten her sister out of trouble but in hindsight it was probably such a disservice. Maybe if she hadn't gone to Kim's aid her sister would have been forced to straighten out her act on her own. Maybe then she'd be alive today. Amanda shook her head to get rid of all the thoughts in her head. Both Fin and Radnor had caught the momentarily black out and given each other a look.

"Anyway, later that night I found her in my apartment with this junkie. They were snorting shit in my kitchen. Kim could not understand why I threw the guy out or why I flushed the drugs down the drain." Fin shook his head. Her sister had truly been a piece of work.

"And then the next day I found out she tried to withdraw money from my account. She'd found my books in my apartment. I scolded her out through phone cause we were really busy at work and then when I got home that night she'd cleaned out my place. Most everything… gone. Everything of value definitely gone."

"I take it you didn't report it?" Radnor said and Amanda shook her head. Fin shook his head too but this time more towards Amanda. He still felt a bit miffed that she hadn't told him what happen straight away. He had to find out for himself when he just knew something was up. She closed up on Kim's whereabouts all of a sudden even though she'd shared the mayhem she'd cause all over town the previous couple of days. When Amanda started to look very tired at work and started using her usual tactics to get people to back off – by biting back and resorting to somewhat mean spirited tugs – he knew something was up. So he'd forced himself into her apartment one night after shift only to find it completely empty. She was literally sleeping on the floor. Some newly bought clothes stacked on a paper bag next to the bed. Little by little they had refurnished her place but she'd been dead set on not filing charges on her sister. Something Fin had made her bluntly aware that he thought was a stupid thing but he still hadn't pressured her more about it.

"Okay. So you think your sister was in need of money then?" Radnor hinted to the fact she'd try to clean out her sister's bank account and when that failed had cleaned out her apartment instead.

"She always wanted more money. We grew up without them. She liked to spoil herself. But I think the cleaning out my place was more aimed at me. The money was just an added bonus." This was the first Fin heard about this theory and he was listening intensely on Amanda's and Radnor's conversation. Amanda could tell by Radnor's face he wanted more and she reluctantly fessed up.

"We had a fight the night before. Things were said. She blamed me for taking the job she wanted, God knows how she thought she could ever be a cop with her record but that's what she said. And she told me some harsh things our mother had said about me and my ambition…" Amanda's voice faded out as the somewhat painful memories of that night and that fight flushed over her.

"Anyway, I apologized, for what I don't know but with Kim… that was just the way it worked. But I think that grudge still lingered. It wasn't like she needed money for drugs, she could easily get that for free just fluttering her eyelashes at some guy or raiding our mother's cabinet. I usually paid for her bus ticket out of town but I think she decided to get the money to get her own that time. That's my theory anyway," Amanda finished with and Radnor seemed to buy it.

They separated there at the apartment. Amanda asked Fin if she could just get a minute and she headed into the alley for a while. Fin hung around the car meanwhile. She seemed collected when she came back about twenty minutes later. They rode back in and Cragen let her work her sister's case while Fin helped out Liv and Nick. Fin tried to keep an eye on her. Cragen called her into his office a little later. They could all see Amanda got a little agitated behind the closed door but again she seemed collected once she stepped out. She headed straight towards the gate though.

Cragen came out and informed the three detectives that arrangements had been made to have Kim's body be flown down to Atlanta later that week. Amanda had of course objected, saying they needed to keep her body there to do more extensive tests. Cragen had been stern though, the body would fly down Friday and he also suggested she would ride along. Again Amanda objected. They couldn't have a funeral before this case was closed and there was no way she'd be stuck in hillbilly land when the killer had been here in New York. Cragen had stuck to his decision to have the body flown down but given Amanda permission to keep working until the funeral service would take place. He didn't tell the other detectives the last thing he'd requested though, that she would go see the department therapist. She had, with obvious reluctance, taken the number he'd written down on a post-it. He figured he would have to make sure she called and made an appointment though.

As Fin had suspected Amanda had headed downstairs to the morgue. He let her be but by the end of shift he made sure she left. She agreed to a beer at a place near her apartment. They drank in silence but Fin was satisfied with just her company. He walked her to her door once they were done and again he offered to come upstairs with her. Again though she turned him down saying she was heading straight to bed. She was wiped.

The next day, Thursday, he walked in to find her desk empty. A little later he would find out from Cragen that she was down at the 6th precinct causing a bit of havoc. Detective Radnor had called. Cragen was heading over there to collect her. Fin offered to tag along but Cragen turned him down saying he wanted the chance to talk to her alone.

Fin didn't catch her until later that day when he came back in from house calls to some witness in their current case. She seemed collected but the bite in her tone as he tried to make sure told him she was struggling. She disappeared later when he went off to get some coffee and to his surprise he didn't find her down in the morgue. They had to work late to pick up speed on their case, Amanda's situation had set them back a bit but no one complained. He didn't have time to go by her place even though he wanted to since she wasn't picking up her phone. He had to give her space he figured. Surely she wasn't up to something stupid.

On Friday she was even more on edge. Again Fin gave her space though. He knew Kim's body was being transferred to the airport and that Amanda would ride along to the gate. Cragen was going with her. Fin wanted to but had to settle with that at least their captain was there. When they came back Amanda looked flustered. Fin could tell she'd been crying. Cragen was looking a bit grim.

He called them into his office to get a briefing on the case, he told Amanda to join too even though she'd lost a bit of track on the case. He was hoping he could get her mind on something else. Separating from her sister at the airport had been hard. He knew that when his little soldier of detective couldn't keep her tears from flowing in front of him that she was rather run down. Not that he blamed her. Her sister had died. He would be worried if she didn't cry. But now that they were back and since Amanda insisted on working he figured it was good to get her involved.

Amanda stayed quiet by Fin's side though as Liv debriefed them on where they were at. The victim was heard and out of hospital, they had witness statements and the victim's family testified to her ex-boyfriends temperamental side. Now all they needed was to get their hands on ex-boyfriend who was their suspect. And just then Nick's phone buzzed. Their suspect had been spotted coming back to his apartment finally. Cragen ordered all four of them out. Liv and Nick took one car and Fin drove the following car with Amanda by his side. He didn't ask if she was up for this since he knew she would say yes even if she wasn't.

Thankfully the arrest went easy. He gave up without much struggle and Liv and Nick brought him in. Fin and Amanda had mostly been bystanders the entire time and then they stayed outside as the other two detectives questioned the suspect. He gave up rather easily and Liv had him writing down his confession thirty minutes later. Once they'd loaded him off to the holding cell Cragen told them all they'd done a good job and wanted them to go home early and enjoy their weekend off. No one protested, not even Amanda. Everyone looked rather satisfied for this week to come to a close. Once their captain had retreated back to his office Liv suggested they all headed out for a bite to eat. Of course with the intention to make sure Amanda was fed and taken care off. Nick and Fin was quick to support the idea. When they all turned their heads towards Amanda she looked skeptical though.

"Oh common," Fin urged a little hoping he could push her over.

"I just really need to make sure my sister arrived back home and I promised to call my mother and…" Amanda trailed off. No one could really argue with her plans. She had already started to pull herself towards the gate as well. Fin looked miserable and she just felt like she had to get out of there. Nick and Liv looked at her with such pity in their eyes she felt like she could implode any second. She didn't want pity or cause misery to anyone. She didn't feel like eating. Or talking which she just knew was Liv's intent. It was just better if she went home even if there was no call to her mother arranged. The loneliness of her apartment was something she actually longed for right now.

"I see you Monday," she whispered as she turned and walked away. They all followed her with their eyes until she disappeared down the hall. Liv sighed loudly and turned to her fellow detectives.

"Okay it's just us then. Common let's get that bite anyway. We earned it after this week," Liv said and tried to cheer both herself and the others up. Nick nodded and after just a little nudge from Liv Fin gave a nod too.

"Great," Liv smiled. "I'm picking the place though," she added as she grabbed her phone of her desk and took the lead out.


But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. (Romans 2:5)


Fin liked his job but he enjoyed time off too. Hanging with his mates, go out for a beer or just stay in and play videogames. Perhaps catch up with Ken, let him cook as he caught up on what was going on in his life. This weekend though he'd longed for Monday to come. He'd failed to get a hold of Amanda but she'd texted him back Saturday that she was out for a run and doing good. No answer or text on Sunday though and he got in a few minutes before shift even on Monday just so he would get to see her sooner.

He found neither Amanda nor Liv at their desks though. Nick had his phone to his ear but gave him a face that told Fin something was up. He put the phone down momentarily and turned to Fin.

"You're needed down the hall mate," Nick said with a somewhat somber voice. "Seems your partner didn't stay home this weekend."

Fin hurried down the hall and by the number of officers outside he knew which room to head towards. He tried to get a peek through the window but there were too many heads blocking his view. He could see papers on the walls though, something that was definitely out of the ordinary. He heard Amanda's worked up voice as he reached the door frame. Two uniforms hustled to get out of the way so he could enter. What struck his eyes when he stepped into that interrogation room made his jaw drop and his eyes got big as plates as he tried to take it all in.

Every single wall, even some on the window, was draped with transcripts, crime scene photos, missing posters and mug shots. His eyes finally landed back on Amanda as he realized she'd kept rambling something about missing women and torture and decapitations. She was addressing Cragen who was standing a few feet away from her. Liv was by one wall, looking as shocked as Fin looked right about now. Amanda quiet down when her eyes landed on Fin. For a moment Fin got flash backs to that Showtime show everyone was talking about all the time. He'd never gotten into it but he'd seen bits of it and in this one episode the main character, a young woman with some resemblance to his partner, had plastered an entire wall with what she felt was evidence and it looked a little like what he was staring at right about now. That character was a bit psychotic though. Her methods way out there. This was out there for sure. This was even worse he was able to think before he locked eyes with his partner.

She searched his face. Searched for understanding. Since neither Cragen nor Liv, or Nick, seemed to see the similarities she was hoping he would. Her trusting partner. But he looked baffled. He was stunned. He didn't see it and her entire body slumped in an instance. If he didn't, no one would. Cragen had registered that Fin had walked in and that he was the reason Amanda had finally quiet down. Cragen took the opportunity to shut this down.

"I hear you. I'll look into it but right now Amanda you need to go home," Cragen left no room for discussion but Amanda still made an attempt to say something. But he shut her down before she could do so.

"No Amanda. Fin will take you home and you'll stay there you hear?" Cragen looked back at Fin to make sure he was on board. Fin was still stunned but managed to take a few steps closer to them. He got a little hesitant as his eyes again were captured by the insane paperwork covering the walls of this usually so plain room.

"Common partner," he then said calmly and reached out for her. She remained just still and he got a hold of her arm and pulled her forward. She had some files in her one hand that Cragen took from her once she passed him. Liv had stepped out before them and obviously shushed the uniforms out of there since they were spreading like ants. Fin exchanged a worried look with Liv as he brought his partner past her. Amanda's head hung heavy and she just walked a head as Fin guided her out of there by a hand between her shoulders. Fin had gathered himself from the initial shock and he was now busy staring back at anyone who shot them curious looks. His fierce eyes got everyone to turn their heads back away. Nick was gentleman enough though to keep the staring low key. He peaked up over his shoulder a little with the phone still to his ear.

Fin got her rather smoothly downstairs and then over to his car. She jumped in without a word and he went around and jumped in from the other side. They sat in silence for a while but then he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What were you thinking?" he asked. She immediately shot him a look, an angry one but it mellowed a little as she realized he hadn't said it out of anger but of concern. He raised his eyebrows at her to let her know he needed an answer.

"I just…" she said and squirmed a bit. It seemed she couldn't explain herself and just sighed loudly as the words failed her. She folded her arms in front of her and slumped down reminding very much like a stubborn teen that got caught doing something she wasn't allowed to.

"What?" Fin urged but not in a harsh tone. He truly wanted to know what was going on inside that pretty head of hers.

"I did go home but then I had to go back to follow up on this lead I found Thursday…"

"What lead?" he asked and got her to turn her head towards him.

"The mayhem choker. Heard of him?" she asked. Fin had to shake his head.

"Well they think he's killed at least five women all over the city but they have like another five open killings he might be guilty off. And I'm sure there's more out there we haven't found. He buries them you see. He's called the mayhem choker cause, obviously, he chokes his victims and they've been brutally tortured the old school way. Like whips and… he uses nails and bolts and stuff. He peels their skin off but still like keeps their face intact and seems to take good care of them at the same time. He break bones, saw off body parts and…" He could tell she was getting all worked up again since her hands were gesturing, her voice rose and her eyes were darting all over the place.

"Okay, okay," he said to get her to settle back again. She looked at him with a bit of a stunned face.

"But how is this linked to your sister?" he figured it had to be in some way but he didn't see how.

"His victims are all females, blond and blue eyed," she said it in a way that made it sound like it was the most obvious and convincing evidence.

"But your sister fell out a window," he said bluntly.

"What if she was scared? She fits the profile, so does Cassie. You saw the resemblance right? This guy must be scary as hell. What if he went after Cassie, mixed her up with Kim somehow, and then Kim tried to flee."

"That's a whole lot of if's Amanda," Fin had to point out.

"I know but it's something Fin," she shot back and he saw the desperation in her eyes.

"Okay, okay," he said again to calm her down. "I hear you and I'll look at this guy and these victims. See if I see what you see okay?" She nodded eagerly, happy someone finally heard her.

"But you have to be smarter boo," Fin said and gave her a serious stare. "You're going around this the wrong way. Back there, that was crazy Amanda. No one will take you serious if you go mental like that. You have to be smarter than this. Play it cool. Plant the seed, give it some time and then keep digging. You need Cragen on your side, you need your squad if you want to work this angle." He gave her some time to think about it.

"Okay?" he asked finally and got a nod even though she seemed somewhat distant.

"I'm going to look into this choker dude, see what you got but first I'm going to take you home okay?" He got another nod and he drove out of there.
This time he didn't ask but just followed her upstairs since he wanted to make sure her apartment didn't look like the room back in the station. She didn't protest though and just left the door open once she'd stepped inside.

"But you will look at it though?" She kept talking as they went inside. She'd been talking all the way up, making sure he took her serious and not just trying to wrap things, and her, up.

"I will," he said at the same time as he looked around her apartment. She'd disappeared inside her bedroom, still talking though and he acknowledged her every now and then by shouting out a 'yes' or a 'sure'. Her living room looked a little cluttered from when he saw it last. Not that she gave a messy impression but he had been surprised when he first saw her place at just how tidy it was. Not much of knick knacks, not much of personal stuff out on shelf or anything. Mostly just books and her laptop out.

Whenever he'd been over and after he'd helped her get stuff back into her place the throw on the couch had always been neatly folded on top but now it was ruffled on the couch. She'd obviously been sleeping there. A glass of water on the table next to an ashtray. Damn, she was smoking again he thought to himself. He thought he'd rid her of that bad habit. He spotted her home phone on the floor just underneath the couch. He headed towards the kitchen and found another sign that her head wasn't screwed on properly right now. Dishes lay in the sink and it was just not yesterday's.

On the counter stood her otherwise put away iced tea ingredients. The lid was off the jar and some had spilled on the counter. Not far from that stood multiple disposable cups of coffee. He got the fridge open and got met by a more or less empty vessel. She usually wasn't a hoarder but this was a little too much the opposite of that. He saw no take-out boxes though and it got him worried she wasn't eating enough. He couldn't even remember if they'd had lunch or anything together this past week since her sister's passing.

He walked back out and over to the bedroom. The bathroom door was open and he heard the toilet flush. He wasn't surprised she hadn't closed it, they were rather familiar with each other at this point. She wasn't the typical girl in his eyes. She was more easy-going than the girls he knew.
He was checking the place out when she came out of the bathroom. She had her top underneath her chin as she was buttoning up her fly.

"Oh," she said when she spotted him but then just continued nagging him about him reading through her notes while she kept her top up. Since she was busy with her fly he took the opportunity to check out her stomach. She had great abs he had to give her. He couldn't tell if she was thinner than usual though. There were times when he got surprised just how tiny she was. When walking by his side she always claimed her place and she could handle her own against people who got in her face. On the other hand though he'd seen how easily she, literally, got tossed across a room when the bad guy caught her off guard. Thankfully she seemed to often land on her feet though. Getting back to her abs all he could see right now was how nice of a form she truly was in. All that running must be good for your body after all he thought to himself.

"So will you?" She caught him spacing out once she pulled her top back down.

"What?" he had to ask.

"Talk to the captain," she said rolling her eyes a little at him.

"Yeah yeah," he said brushing her off a little. "Are you smoking again?" he countered. She gave him a look, he could see her mind working but when she wasn't quick enough to come up with a lie she just sighed and headed for the door.

"I'm under a lot of pressure here Fin in case you haven't noticed. Give me a break," she said as she got out into the living room. He followed.

"Okay," he agreed. They could deal with the smoking later.

"Will you talk to him when you get back?" she asked eagerly, "I really don't want to be stuck here at home any longer than I have to. I'm going insane here."

"I'll head straight for his office. I promise," he said and meant it. He figured the captain would want to have a serious talk to him too when he got back.

"Do you need anything?" he asked but she gave him a confused look. She thought she made it obvious what she needed. She needed to be at work, working on her sister's case.

"I mean for now. You want me to do some grocery shopping or something for you?"

"God Fin, I'm not an invalid," she huffed and went to grab the ashtray. It needed to be emptied.

"You could get me smokes? I need another pack," she gave him a cheeky smile as she went into the kitchen.

"Just indulge me will you, eat something, take care of yourself, try not to smoke too much," he begged as he followed.

"Yes dad," she said ironically as she tossed the ashes in one of the empty coffee mugs. She felt a bit bad though when she turned back and saw his worried face. She still had to roll her eyes though.

"Okay, I will," she promised but added quickly; "But then you have to get me back in the squad room at the latest tomorrow." She put a finger in the air towards him.

"I promise," he said. She tossed him a smile as she headed back to the living room. She seemed chipper again which was something she hadn't been since her sister died. That in comparison to the almost manic state she'd been in not even an hour ago made him a little concerned though.

He did talk to their captain when he got back from her place. And as expected Cragen wanted to talk to him too. Fin stood up for his partner even though he wasn't a 100% sure everything was okay with her. He would always have her back though and Cragen said okay to see her the next morning.

Tuesday morning she came in early and headed straight to his office. She spoke first, apologized for her crazy behavior yesterday. She did her best to try and explain how it had gotten so out of hand but she followed Fin's advice and kept it in so many words. She'd just gotten a hunch and went with it. Before she knew it, it was Monday morning and she'd wallpapered the entire interrogation room. Cragen listen and he did understand. He got that the loss of her sister was a major one for her and just as many of his other detectives work got them through difficult periods of their life.

"So please sir, just let me work," she ended with. He scanned her intensely. When he saw her yesterday she'd looked run down. Close to manic. He'd feared for sanity honestly. The detective that stood in front of him today was cleaned up and proper. Well-spoken and gave a settled impression. He could still see that talking about her sister teared her eyes up but he would expect nothing else. If there was no emotion at all he'd been even more worried.

"Okay," he said and got up so he could approach her. She wasn't completely sure just what that 'okay' meant. Would he let her back to work? Was he just coming closer to soften the blow that he didn't feel she could work at this point? She swallowed nervously as he came around and leaned down on his desk right in front of her.

"I get that you..," he searched for the right word, "need to see this through. If it had been my sister I would have done the same. But… I've talked to Melinda. I've talked to Radnor, multiple times. I talked to him yesterday even. There's just not anything that points to that your sister was murdered." He tried to put it mildly to her.

"And this mayhem choker lead..," Cragen shook his head a little. "His victims are women who fit into a whole other category than your sister. Prostitutes and…" He left it at that since it had been established already Kim used drugs so mentioning drug users would serve no point. Even if Kim used drugs she didn't work the streets or any other job that put her at risk.

"But if he was after Cassie…" Amanda tried but Cragen put up his hand quickly to stop her before she got going.

"She was a waitress Amanda. She doesn't fit the pattern either."

"But drugs were at their party. You don't know if…" Amanda quiet down as she saw her captain slowly shaking his head. She realized that if she kept going he would not let her work and she had to shut up even though she had multiple questions and doubts, and even some facts that proved him wrong. But she remembered what Fin had said. She needed to play this smart so she shut up.

"When's your sister's funeral?" Cragen asked after a silent pause.

"Uhm," Amanda said and tried to gather her brain. She wasn't sure how to answer him and scrambled her brain to get him to step off the subject.
"It's… well it's postponed. For a bit." Amanda could tell Cragen was still not satisfied with the answer though and she tried to think quickly.

"My mama's trying to locate my dad. I think it's ridiculous but she wants to give him a chance to be there." She rolled her eyes to emphasis how she felt about this. Cragen felt a bit bad and got that her family relations might be even more troublesome than he'd already imagined. And of course he didn't ask any more questions about it. Instead he told her to get back to her desk, in a gentle and fatherly voice of course. He also told her he wanted her to see the department therapist. Amanda asked if that could wait until after the funeral and Cragen felt no reason to argue with that request even though he'd preferred if she would have gone straight away.

They caught a new case later that day and the squad got working. Fin kept an extra eye on his partner over the following couple of days. He knew she was still working Radnor to keep the case open and he also knew she'd reached out to the sergeant in charge of the group that worked the Mayhem case. She kept it low key though just as Fin had suggested. When he asked her about it she did tell him what she got but just in so many words and he could tell she did try to get off the subject ever so often. He figured it might be since she wasn't getting anywhere.

He had mostly settled with that Kim's death had been just accidental but he felt unable, and unwilling, to try and convince Amanda. Unable since every time he tried she had a response, something that she felt proved him wrong. And unwilling cause he frankly didn't want her to be upset with him or think he didn't trust her. No this was something she needed to find out for herself and all he could try was and steer her that way and be there once it finally dawn on her. He both feared and longed for the day she'd just give up and with it probably break down.

But the days kept going. She took that Friday off, Fin tried to probe but didn't get an answer what she was up to. She came back Saturday morning though and looked okay. Everyone wondered when her sister's funeral would actually take place but Cragen told them it was postponed since the family was working out a few things. Cragen brought it up when talking with Amanda and again got the answer her dad was still a-wall and it had been delayed further.

She seemed okay but at the same time Fin realized she was slowly deteriorating. She just wasn't her old cheery and energetic self. He caught her yawning often and she looked tired ever so often. She came in late a few mornings and she'd slept in the bunks at least two nights that he knew off. Nick had ratted her out since he usually was the first one in. She did eat whenever they had lunch together but not with the same speed or enthusiasm that he so much appreciated before. He'd never seen a girl enjoy food as much as she did, and one that didn't seem to put on a single pound while indulging. She turned down every single suggestion of a beer after work or to grab a bite. She was usually the first one to jump on board such a suggestion so it was a bit alarming that she seemed to withdraw so completely. The few times Fin did mention it to either Cragen or Liv though they always said she would need time and that it would probably be better as soon as her sister had been put to rest. Fin was still worried though.

Liv was getting coffee one early morning and ran into Amanda getting herself a cup. They exchanged the usual morning phrases and then, as usual lately, Liv tried to probe a little to make sure Amanda was okay and that she knew Liv was there if she needed to talk. Amanda, also as usual lately, gave Liv her best smile and tried to sound convincing when she said she had a full night's sleep and everything was as good as they could be under the circumstances.
Amanda was a bit startled as Liv grabbed her hand. Liv paid no attention to it though and had a closer look on Amanda's nails.

"Nice," she smiled at the manicure Amanda obviously had done. Liv had never seen her nails this pampered.

"Thanks. It was something my sister always said I should try some day," Amanda mumbled a bit.

"She was right. It's only good that you take care of yourself Amanda. You've done something with your hair too right?" Liv said since she'd picked up on it but with Amanda insisting on always keeping it bundled up it was hard to see just what it was but it seemed richer somehow. Amanda self-consciously stroked the back of her neck a little.

"Yeah, some fillers. Highlights," Amanda admitted a bit embarrassed. "It was something Kim wanted but never got around to do…" Amanda's voice faded out and Liv shot her a sympathetic smile.

"Good for you Amanda. I'm sure your sister is really happy you tried it for her," Liv said comforting but then didn't push it any further since she could tell Amanda felt uncomfortable talking about this. It was too soon. Liv would approach the matter at a later time she thought to herself as she watched the young detective head back to her desk.

About a week later Fin strolled in a few minutes too late as usual. He saw Liv and Nick hard at work at their desks. His eyes quickly travelled past them and landed on his partner's empty desk. Her absence didn't help ease the slight worry in his gut that had lingered since last night when she didn't answer her phone or his texts.

Nick spotted him as he passed behind his back.

"Hey," he said and got his attention. It was rare Fin didn't say morning to his squad when he walked in but Nick wasn't surprised as he saw where Fin's eyes had been planted. What had happen to Amanda's sister had affected them all and seeing their colleague struggle upped the tolerance level.

Fin gave Nick a nod and then Liv a second one as she looked up from her paper work. Liv closed her hands on her desk above her papers and shot Fin a sympathetic smile.

"She's here," Nick said and Fin looked back at him.

"She's sleeping in the bunks. Again." Fin looked down the hall, then back at Nick before he turned and headed down the corridor to the bunks. Nick turned his head back and looked over their desks at his partner. Liv's eyes lingered on Fin's back for a while but then she inhaled hard and met Nick's eyes. She tried to give him a smile but the concern in her gut was reflected on her face. None of them really knew what to do about their colleague that so clearly struggled to maintain herself in the wake of losing the only family member that she herself had stated meant anything to her. Liv could relate. When her mother died she'd felt as though she was completely alone in the world, which she was to an extent. Getting to know her half-brother had given her some family back even though it was of course complicated.

Fin reached the door to the bunks, took a deep breath to ready himself and then entered. His eyes found her immediately. She'd crawled together on the bunk in the corner. Her back to him, a blanket messily draped her partially. He closed the door behind him and walked up to her carefully so not to scare her in case she woke up. As he entered he could tell she was fully dressed, the thin summer jacket still on. Her shoes dropped by the side of the bunk. The soles of her white socks were dirty. Her hair was up in a messy bun. As he got closer he saw her hand hugging her own shoulder right by the rim of the blanket. It looked as though she was holding on to herself and with her legs pulled up towards her stomach it gave her a fragile look.

He remembered the first time he'd laid eyes on her. He'd seen her from a far, walking up to a crime scene by their captain's side. She'd been a looker for sure, with that blonde hair of hers and that white shirt she'd given a somewhat angelic appearance. He had not picked her for a detective at first glance. But her handshake had been steady and that accent of hers had made him smile. He couldn't remember now what he'd first thought of her as he learnt she was their new squad member. Perhaps he had doubts.

All he could remember now was that she'd proven herself quite capable very early on and it hadn't taken long before he took her presence as a given. She was easy to hang around, they shared the same humor and both liked sports. A lot of people judged her on her looks, he knew that. He'd heard it often and he often stepped in to wise whoever it was that needed wising up. Of course not when she was around though, no she could hold her own and he quite enjoyed watching her do it. Right now though she didn't look as she could hold her own. She looked so damn fragile bundled up on this bunk it broke his heart a little. He sat down carefully by her side. He said her name with a low voice hoping to bring her out of sleep slowly.

When she didn't move he carefully placed his hand on her arm right below her own hand. He tried shaking her carefully and said her name again. His subtle approach failed though as her whole body jolted awake with a quick inhale. It made him jump and he retracted his hand instinctively, like he'd hurt her. She took a few deep, strained inhales as she turned her head up towards him. Her eyes told him she had trouble orienting herself. It seemed to happen a lot lately.

"You're in the bunks," he let her know. Her eyes stayed wide open for a while but then her hand went down to cover them as she got her senses back and the light finally hurt her newly awaken eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you such a rude awakening," he said as she put her head back down.

"Don't worry," he heard her mumbled from underneath her hands, both now rubbing her face.

"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn as she tried to get up. Her body fought her but she managed to get up on one hand at least.

"Shift just started," he said. He watched her yawn again as she tried to stretch her neck out a little. He thought he saw some glitter or something on the side of her neck and he reached out to swipe it away. She flinched though and he froze immediately.

"You just got some… something," he said and continued his movement. He got his thumb slowly working her neck to get whatever it was that colored her neck. She gave him an awkward smile when he was done. She turned her body towards him as she sat down properly and she pulled her legs up to her stomach. She rubbed her eye with her finger in a childlike way and again it struck him just how fragile she looked. She was clearly not fully awake yet and seemed embarrassed about it.

"What are you doing sleeping here again?" he asked carefully hoping the question wouldn't embarrass her even more. It looked like she had to think about it and when she couldn't come up with an answer after a few long seconds passed she gave him a shrug of her shoulders.

"Where you out last night?" he asked as he had already smelled the cigarette smoke on her. He thought he could smell a slight hint of alcohol on her breathe too but wasn't completely sure about that. She hesitated but then nodded. He couldn't lie that her acknowledge of that fact hurt him a little. He'd asked her if she wanted a beer after shift yesterday but she'd turned him down saying she was tired. Perhaps she had been he figured though and tried not to dwell on it.

"Why don't you go home, get some more sleep, I'll cover for you," he suggested but she shook her head immediately.

"No, please," she said but then bit her tongue as she heard her own desperation in her voice. He looked at her with concerned eyes.

"I can't," she started after having broken his intense gaze, "I don't want to be there alone. The silence... My thoughts wander. Please. Just give me two minutes. I'll wise up." She looked at him with pleading eyes. He put his hand down on her foot and tapped it protectively.

"You're wise enough already," he smiled and it earned him a shy smile back. "I'll give you how many minutes you need and I'll get you a coffee and meet you out there okay?" He searched her eyes and got an appreciated nod. He rubbed her leg a little as he got up and he pulled himself towards the door. He couldn't help but look back as he opened up the door. She'd put her chin down on her knees and hugged her legs. So fragile it hurt him just looking.

He knew she needed something. He just wasn't sure what it was and how he could give it to her. He kept hoping the funeral would do her good and then she'd come back and things could start to get back to normal. He put his hope to that and tried to bury the feeling that something had broken in his partner. That something was broken and that it was unfixable. He needed to believe things could get back to normal. He needed to believe that for both their sakes.


Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Heb 4:16)


He was having no luck finding her. He used every way to try and find her but nothing for weeks now. These angels were usually not that smart. He knew they had little means in this world, they had dropped to the lowest level in the human chain. They were being used, abused and they took it out of desperation. He felt sorry for them. This angel had managed to slip through his fingers twice. He knew there was a reason for this though. His path crossed with Shay's as he was looking for his missing angel. He usually didn't save angels this close together but if God sent them his way he had to follow through on the mission given to him. He knew grabbing them from the same place was also risky. He would have to work harder, be smarter and even more careful. No mistakes this time.

Shay was such a bright light. The anger and angst he felt for his missing angel was weight up by watching Shay's angelic stature. He felt much excitement for when he could set his plan in motion with her. That made him work even harder to find his missing angel. And then his missing angel made that little mistake he knew was coming. He'd found her. She tried to hide far away from him but God's reach were grand. She should not have tried to hide from God's wrath. She had it coming.
He'd been waiting outside in his car. Waited for a glimpse of Shay. He knew she was working tonight and sure enough soon she came walking down the street. He wanted to go in and watch her perform but he needed to restrain himself. A bit of absence from her would only do him good. He had an angel to bring back to New York and then he could tend to his newly found angel.


Finally the day came when Amanda was going back home to Atlanta to attend her sister's funeral. Everyone probably felt a bit relieved. They all saw the lack of energy in their squad partner and everyone somewhat hung on to the belief it would all be better once the funeral was over and done with.
Fin offered to drive her to the airport. He knew her car was still at the shop, some carburetor failure which he'd told her for ages was coming. She needed to get rid of that truck and get a proper car now that she was rooted in the city.

And he wanted to drive her cause he would miss her. She would be gone for almost three weeks, having to deal with some stuff at her mom's where Kim stayed most of the time up until her death.

She said she'd already booked a cab though and she was leaving way early. He would have preferred to send her off at the airport but he didn't push it. She seemed so vulnerable even that little thing he feared could set her off. She did however agree to get a beer with him when their shift was over. Liv and Nick had been off somewhere and even though he knew they would want him to extend the invite for a beer to them too he preferred to get her alone for just a while before she took off for all those weeks. Fin tried to keep the conversation up but he struggled since Amanda seemed to space out ever so often. He didn't blame her. He knew she wasn't looking forward to the funeral and then on top of that having to deal with her mom, and dad. She'd never mentioned her dad ever so he was very curious about the man. He'd ask her once she got back her figured.

He tried to get her to stay for a second beer but she said she needed to pack, she hadn't gotten around to do that yet. Once outside though, she was just at walking range, she seemed unwilling to say bye. Again he just figured it was linked to the funeral and her unwillingness to go back home. In hindsight things add up though and he would forever blame himself for not picking up that something was very wrong with his partner.

She startled him when she out of the blue threw her arms around his neck and then she cling on for quite some time. He was able to pat her back a little, then fully embrace her and on top of that have time to smell her hair and then get a bit of an eerie feeling in his gut. She let go just as sudden as she'd grabbed on, said a quick bye, turned quickly and walked away. She didn't turn back around once. He knew cause he watched her all the way to the corner and he even stood planted a while longer after she'd disappeared behind it. He blamed the eerie feeling he'd gotten on the emotions having her so close evoked in him. He tried to think about just how nice it had felt to hug her and how they should do that more often as he finally turned around to head back to his car.


I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. (Psalm 119:25-29)


Over the next few weeks he talked to her a few times. He sent a text the day before the funeral and then the day after telling her he would call in a couple of days. He had some trouble reaching her at first but then finally she picked up. She sounded okay. She said she was okay. He tried to probe just to make sure and he really thought she was doing okay. He could have called every day but he didn't want her to think he was needy or that he missed her too much. He figured she would tease him if she picked up on the fact he missed her. She was easiest to get a hold of during the days so that's when he most often called.

One day they got stuck a whole hour just talking about nothing basically. It'd been a while since they'd talked that way, the way they used to talk, and he really enjoyed it. Liv noted him coming in looking all smiley and asked if he had a happy meal for lunch. He sent her a wink and just let her know Amanda was doing good. Cragen, Liv and Nick had kept tabs on her, asking him every other day if he'd talked to her or not. He knew they missed her too and didn't mind sharing something that made them relieved to hear. They all wanted their colleague back and sitting behind her desk. And it wasn't long now until she'd be back.

He had trouble reaching her that weekend but knew she was only a few days away from coming home now. He finally got a text Monday but it was a kind of disappointing text. She asked him to ask their captain if it was okay if she took another few days and would arrive back next Monday instead. He felt a bit bitter about this news of her postponing her homecoming but of course he texted her back he would do it. Cragen of course asked if something was wrong but Fin fed him a line that she was still settling some of her sister's business. Amanda hadn't really given him a reason to why she had to stay put. Cragen gave the go ahead and Fin texted her back everything was taken care off. He wrote her and asked for her flight number so he could come get her but she wrote back the next day that she hadn't booked one yet. And then nothing.

He tried calling her and texting her. Her voicemail was filled so it was impossible to leave any more messages and he just got that eerie feeling again. He tried to calm himself and did it by checking for which planes were arriving from Atlanta this weekend. It seemed JFK served most direct flights from Atlanta but since he had no idea when she would arrive it felt stupid just driving out there. He did drive by her place though. It was dark Saturday night when he drove by. On Sunday it was still rather light out but it seemed her windows were still. He tried calling her Sunday but got the message that her number was not in use. It was a bit suspicious but he figured it might just be she was on the flight and had to turn her phone off. When he tried again at midnight it was still disconnected though and he fell asleep feeling anything but calm.

He still felt hopeful to see her Monday morning and again came in early. Nick was at his desk but no sign of Amanda. Nick gave him a look that told Fin he knew who Fin had been hoping to see. Liv stepped in a little later and she too looked a little disappointed when Amanda wasn't back. Cragen had to be at a meeting downtown but he'd put a small bouquet of flowers on Amanda's desk with a card that read 'we missed you'. A really sweet gesture. After an hour though Fin got tired of staring at those flowers.

They were rather busy at the moment but Fin still managed to slip away, he couldn't concentrate anyway. He drove over to her place and went up to knock on her door. No answer. He heard nothing as he put his ear to the door. He tried calling her home phone but heard nothing from inside. Perhaps it was uncharged. Disappointed he went back to the station. He saw their captain in his office, it looked as though he'd just gotten back since he was sorting his inbox on his desk. Fin sneaked back to his desk, hoping he wouldn't see that he'd been out.

"Nothing?" Liv asked though having known where he'd been up to. Fin shook his head with a grim looking face.

"Tutuola," Cragen almost screamed the moment later.

"Liv," he added and Fin and Liv gave each other a look. Fin took lead, closely followed by Liv, and Nick came along too just knowing something was up. Their captain rarely screamed. They had figured he would be angry judging by his voice but he looked more stunned once they saw him and pale as a sheet. He was holding on to a brown flat package in one hand and a piece of paper in his other.

"What's this?" he asked and gestured with the pieces in his hands to something in front of him on the desk. Fin and Liv had to step forward to see what it was though. Their eyes fell on a phone and an upside down laying badge. Fin didn't have to see the badge number to know what it was though. It was her badge. Amanda's. She'd turned in her badge. This could not be good.