Chapter 3. Holding You To That
Dinner the next night was proven to be interesting. We sat mostly in silence. Other than the sounds of chewing, swallowing, and utensils scraping against plates, there were no noises. Pa and I sat at the heads of the table while the Regulators (what Pa called the boys since they "regulated" his property) sat along the sides, staring down into their plates.
I had been gone most of the day, out with James as he ran errands in town. He bought me several new dresses and other pretty things, some of which I had very little use for, but accepted graciously. They all noticed me laughing politely as we rode in, a smile on my face when he kissed my cheek and said goodbye. Then they saw the sigh that escaped my lips as I trudged into the house. No one bothered asked how I was, because they all knew.
"Well, now, look at those appetites," Pa said. "William, have some more. Cordelia, darling, please eat something."
The room was suddenly very quiet as they stared at me. I looked up at my father, annoyed. How could I eat? I was too disgusted.
"Oh James, will you please buy it for me? Please?" I begged, staring at the black dress adoringly.
It was much shorter than my other ones, perfect for riding. I asked him over and over, knowing that if I pressed him enough about it, he would eventually give into me.
"Alright, fine. But you have to kiss me for it," he said, testing either my love for him or just how badly I wanted the dress.
"I will, but not in public, James. I will wa—"
"Why, Cordelia? We're engaged for God's sake! When did kissing your fiancé become a crime?" he asked.
Understanding his point and desperately wanting that dress, I grabbed his face and planted a big kiss on his lips. Unfortunately, I couldn't get away fast enough. He deepened the kiss quickly, taking me completely by surprise. At that moment, Alex McSween and his wife Susan walked in.
This was the second time that Alex had caught me kissing a man. The first time had actually been with Richard at a Christmas party my father threw one year at the ranch. That time it was completely innocent and I was just enjoying the simple touch of a boy's lips upon mine. This time, I was caught with James Grant's tongue practically shoved down my throat.
In the end, I got the dress I wanted and nine others of the same kind in a variety of colors and prints. But these dresses cost me another fraction of my reputation and knowing that James had ruined what little appetite I had for at least a week.
"I have a lot on my mind," I said, looking back down at my food.
The moment of silence passed and it was like nothing had ever happened. Chewing and knives hitting plates became a beautiful melody and I even joined a little in the symphony.
"You ever worked beef before, Billy?" Richard asked.
"Yeah, worked a little out Fort Sumner way, Pete Maxwell's place. Did the chow line, but, uh, I got a way with cattle," Billy told us, sounding proud of this accomplishment.
Snickering came from Steve and Charlie, who had found something very amusing in what he'd just said. Pa reprimanded them and threatened with chores the two of them would do alone.
"Sorry, John. It struck me funny," Charlie said.
"And to William, both of you," Pa replied with a serious tone.
"Apologies, William. Just hackin' on you, that's all," Charlie said, speaking up first.
"Yeah, we was just hackin' on you," Steve added.
Billy nodded in acceptance of their apologies, fuming a little. I understood his anger all too well. Charlie and Steve were constantly "hackin'" on me as well.
"Rumor has it you killed a man, Billy. You don't seem like the killing sort," Richard said.
"Yeah, Billy. What'd you kill him for?" Steve asked.
With a look of pure seriousness, Billy glanced at Steve and calmly said, "He was hackin' on me."
Charlie and Steve looked at him. Their faces ran white with fear while everyone else's showed expressions of amusement. Pa gave a small. I laughed out loud, covering my mouth to hide my further hysterics. In turn, everyone else laughed, except Charlie and Steve to uttered only uncomfortable chuckles. I smiled at Billy, who flashed me a bright grin with a wink to accompany it.
This boy was a mystery to me. He had a quick wit and a cheeky smile, fast with his pistol, and an excellent reader. The more conversations I had with him, the more I was beginning to like him. We would sit and laugh for hours on the front porch, sipping coffee. He taught me how to fire a gun almost as well as he did and I would keep him company when he fed the pigs. He told James that I wasn't feeling well and told Pa that he hadn't seen me when I would go out riding with Richard in the afternoons. For all that he did for me in those few short months, I swore to be indebted to him for the rest of my life.
"I'm holding you to that, Cordelia Marie."
