Slowly the party dies and people are leaving although the catering and the band are still there. Blair doesn't even bother to make them stay or convince them that everything is all right. She knows nothing is and the last thing she needs is the curious crowd, which by the way she knows has already created the next top gossip.
…
Dan sits by the bar, sipping his brandy, deciding whether is suitable to go and tell Chuck that the whole thing was a show, that he was drunk, to apologize to him…But although these thoughts are running through his head, he doesn't make a move at all. He thinks, one more glass and he's going home.
"Whiskey!" – Chuck commands to the bartender. – "And whatever he drinks" – He doesn't look at Dan.
"No more for me" – Dan says, but Chuck nods to the young boy that serves them that night and he puts two glasses in front of them.
Dan feels like he should say something, but the way Chuck stares in front of him, like he is completely alone, makes him feel like the teen he was, completely unnoticed by everyone. Chuck nods to the boy and he leaves the bar, together with the rest of the caterers. The room is suddenly empty and quiet.
"Remember when I hired you hookers to cheer you up, because you seemed more lame than usual?" – Chuck starts. Of course, Dan thinks, how can he forget that? Also, Chuck doesn't even wait for him to answer. – "The very same night I told you I realized that you were in love with Blair." – Dan takes a long sip from his drink not knowing what to say, because when Chuck starts his monologs that leads to something dangerous, he knows he should just zip it, no matter how hard it is. – "Not only had I realized you were in love with her… I knew you'd never get over her. And yet, you remained there. Who else, for fuck's sake goes with the bride to be, to look for wedding dresses, and as far as I know you aren't gay." - Flash back of Blair in a wedding dress, teary eyes and panicked face are hitting him stronger than ever. He sighs and decides not to reply anything. – "You know that she was pregnant two years ago?" – Chuck mumbles. – "Miscarriage. I wasn't there." – He says it like it was nothing, like she cut her finger with a knife. – "To this day I haven't asked her how she felt about it. Instead I came back home with jewelry. To be honest, I was almost one hundredth percent that she'd call you. At least Serena, but she didn't. I don't think anyone actually knows about it. Not even Dorota." – He stands up from the bar stool, rounds the counter and pours himself another double Whiskey. – "I was this close Humphrey, to call you. So you know… you can work your magic to help her get through it. " – Dan sits and listens, at times unsure if he dreams or this is just another story of Blair's horror reality. – "But then I thought. Serena would find out. She'd make a big deal out of it… and maybe, maybe I will push my wife into the hands of her ex boyfriend." – He opens the bottle of Brandy and refills Dan's glass. – "So, I decided to be selfish, and let Blair mourn by herself. Till this day I have no idea how it happened."
"Why are you telling me this now?" – Dan dares to ask.
"Because…once you two get back together…"
"No, no, no…" – Dan interrupts him, feeling the Brandy hitting his head pretty strong – "What happened, it was really part of the show, I mean that, and also to get Serena off my back… we won't get back together. For sure" – He rushes to say it all at once.
"Once you two get back together" – Chuck continues saying each word so sure like he states a fact – "It would be good for you to know why at times she'd be broken, crying in the middle of the night. I want you to know that it wouldn't be about me." – He finishes his glass, takes the bottle and leaves him all alone.
Dan keeps staring into his glass, completely confused and a bit amazed by Chuck and his first selfless act in his life.
….
He doesn't know where Blair might be, so when he looks for her on the balcony and sees Serena sitting alone on the chair with her short blond wig in her hands, and her messy blond locks are spread on her back, he tries as quiet as he can to get out of there.
"She's in her bedroom" – Serena snaps. – "Now the road is clear and you should go!" – She never sounded more arrogant. – "Just tell me one thing, Dan!" – She stands up and walks to him. – "Did you ever love me after she left you, or it was your pathetic way to be close to her?"
It takes him a while to put the words together.
"I…" – He stops.
"Don't talk!" – Serena commands. – "I knew it. I always knew it." – She starts crying again.
"I'm sorry"
"You are not!" – She cries. – "So if I didn't leave you, we'd have continued this charade till you got your chance to become her lover?" – He lets her speak her mind out, it's the last he can do. – "Like father like son!" – She sniffs.
That's when he looks at her one last time – "Good bye Serena!" – He turns around and leaves.
"You wouldn't even have the chance to know her, if it wasn't for me." – She whispers. – "Bastard."
….
"I'm gonna sleep in the Empire tonight" – Chuck says to her. She still wears the dress although she is laying in their king size bed.
"Ok" – She says completely uninterested.
"Blair, this was going happen sooner or later" – Chuck mumbles.
"Oh…you are comforting me?" – She turns to face him and smiles. – "I know. We simply were not ready for this…we were too fed up with everything or each other, so…I'm not sad actually."
"I can tell…" – He goes to the door and puts his hand on the door knob. – "A friendly advice, Blair! Don't let Serena rule your life" – And he is gone. It makes her stare at the door for a long time, thinking how Chuck was always the one who was noticing things but he was never speaking about them, except in very rare moments when he wanted to point out certain truths or when he was drunker than usual.
An hour later, she decides to get out of her room, hoping that there is nobody in the living room.
"I'm leaving" – Serena walks inside from the terrace. – "You can have my leftovers!" – She sasses and leaves. Blair doesn't say anything, too tired to get in another consuming fight with her.
The room is quiet again and she is completely alone. She wonders why she doesn't feel sad or upset. Weird calmness rules her body and she goes to the kitchen to get herself a frozen yogurt.
…
"Blair…" – Dan calls her name and scares her.
"Why are you still here?" – She asks, but there is no strictness or arrogance in her voice. Her hair is a bit messy; few locks are curling around her neck and jaw. He gives himself time to memorize her face at that very moment.
"I was gonna go…" – He says, his voice is lower than usual.
"It was pretty theatrical…" – She smiles.
"I don't understand why Serena has to be the topic every time you speak to me" – He interrupts her.
"No, I…" – She stops. – "I didn't mean about her scene…" – She is slightly embarrassed, when she realizes that he doesn't get her words at first. He stands before her, his gaze fixed on her face. As he stares at her, she thinks how stupid she is. She thinks how naively and mindlessly was setting him up with girls just to chase the chance of them two standing before each other like that. Because it was risky and scary. Not any more, she thinks…She knows she loves his face, the warmth of his eyes and the feeling of safety whenever he looks at her.
He takes her right hand and sets in on his chest. No words are necessary, she can feel the intensive beating of his heart. The warmth of his hand over hers and the beating of his heart make her heart skip a beat. There are no words in her head but she knows well that he doesn't need to say anything.
She doesn't know how long they were standing like that, nor when he left. She puts the frozen yogurt on the bar, and goes almost hypnotized back to her bedroom.
Her right hand is still warm, unlikely the left one which is almost frozen from the plastic yogurt glass.
tbc
