Hey, guys :) Your encouraging words coddle up my dented self-confidence :3 So, thank you so much!

It gave me some fuel and thus I have the next chapter for you. Hope you'll like this one, too :D


Seth's POV

It is save, watching him now while I am standing on the apron, bouncing, cheering him on to knock Bray Wyatt out and it is a good thing that my mouth works on its own, because my mind is somewhere else. Totally.

The times when I could watch him whenever and wherever I wanted are long over. The way I used to look at him has changed, too... I can't trust myself anymore. How can I ever be sure that he won't see it in my eyes? It is still a mystery to me how it could happen in the first place... falling in love with Roman.

He is my teammate, my friend... my brother. And fuck, I even have a girlfriend. Well, had. Not anymore. Couldn't live a lie any longer. So how, why did it happen? It all?

I have no fucking idea...

Fact is, it happened and it makes everything too fucking complicated. I have to be careful with what I say, what I do, how and at which moments I touch him. How I look at him...

While we're out here, it's not a problem. I can jump him, cling to him, touch him and it's safe. But outside the ring I try to keep some distance without other people... and Roman... noticing it. I'm even trying to avoid being alone in a room with him. I know it's not fair, but... I'm scared I'll give it away... my secret.

But maybe he has already noticed something.

For weeks now he's... he... huh... I don't know. It feels like he's avoiding me... in a way. Often he keeps conversations short, has become so much quiter... Yeah, I know, he's the rather quiet type if guy, but he's never been like that towards me. It seems like he doesn't want to have eye contact. There are moments when he smiles at me and it looks perfectly normal to other people, only that I can see that the smile never reaches his eyes. And sometimes, when he thinks I won't notice it, he looks at me in a way so different from how he used to. His eyes... there is an emotion lying in them then. Not angriness. It is heavier, thicker, somewhat dull. Disappointment maybe. Yeah, could be disappointment. Because he found out that his bro has a thing for him.

I know it would be wise to find another girl and forget about him. But I just can't, although I know there is no chance anyway that he could ever feel the same. Roman Reigns the Samoan Superman, straight as an arrow, chick magnet. The funny, caring and mindblowing handsome big guy with the body of a friggin' Greek God and here I stand and there is actually still a tiny part of me hoping he would see me. That he might return my feelings one day. God, I would do anything for him. Give up my job, even risk that my reputation might be torn apart by those people out there who think they know what is right or not.

Silly, stupid me. Only hurting myself.

I miss him. I miss my friend, the one who cared about me 24/7 and shared his life with me like I'm an inherent part of it. God knows how much I loved to be that inherent part, how much I want it to be again. And maybe, just maybe if I manage to lock away what I feel for him and after some time... he let's me be that part again. I just need to be convincing enough.

It's as simple as that, isn't it? Yup, as simple as that...

Tag. Dean climbs through the ropes, heads for Wyatt who's lying somewhere in the ring and it's now that I notice that I have lost track of the match. Roman rolls out of the ring and holds his arm and just when I take a step towards him to check on him, our gazes meet and he looks away immediately. It is enough to stop me dead, because it's like a slap to the face, this tiny reaction. It's getting worse...

How could he ever see me when he's not even looking at me? But in the end it doesn't matter, does it? Because in the end it's better this way.

It takes all my self-control not to look at him, now, that he stands more or less beside me, but from the corner of my eye I can see his face, strained and a few lines of pain around his mouth and I want nothing more than to turn around to him and check on him. But I don't dare to just do it.

Instead I grab the top rope as if my life depends on it as I feel my heart speed up, feel it jump because he's close to me and it's ridiculous because he's only standing there and he's not close. Not anymore.

Still there's warmth in my chest, love tugging at my poor little heart when he's as close as he is now, not even an arms-length away. I can't stop it as much as I want to, although it would make it all so much easier. But then I feel this warm and golden thingy deep within me, pristine and perfect and it's making me want to embrace it, drown in it. It's so addictive, this feeling and every single time it's gone... when he's not around me... it's like having withdrawal symptoms. A need, a longing... that ache...

All I want is hide in his arms, being allowed to hold him... and kiss him and taste that beautiful smile of his... say the words...

I love you.

Three little, innocent words. Words which can destroy worlds.

There have been moments in which I wanted to say them but it's always been the same. At the last moment I almost choke on those words, swallow them down instead of saying them. Not because it could destroy my world, no, but it is his world I don't want to shatter. And I would. I'm sure. And with it I would shatter that tiny bit that is left of our friendship.

He's side glancing me, leaving me standing here with a bad feeling because I can't read the expression which is dulling his eyes and there is not enough time to find out what that expression is, because Dean is back, tagging Roman in.

My eyes follow him through the ring. Faintly I hear Dean say something to me, but I'm so lost in my thoughts and in staring at Roman, that I don't really hear what it is he's telling me.

Back in the bus today I have watched him while he was asleep. He hasn't looked as if he was sleeping peacefully, more as if he was having bad dreams. His features have been tense and I... there had been times when we fell asleep on the same bunk or the same bed after talking for hours and I don't know how often I woke up with my head on his shoulder or even on his chest with his arm around me. Lavender. His hair smells of lavender and it's so soft... gosh, those touches I stole when he was asleep... It was perfect, all of this. It felt perfect and right and... those arms provide a place to hide away, make me feel so safe and... and home. And I wanted to go over to him and, I don't know, soothe whatever troubles him but I know that if I had crawled onto his bunk, that it wouldn't have ended well. And so all I could do was sitting there and will those troubles out of his dreams...

For a moment my mind comes back to the here and now. A smile tugs at my lips as Roman lands his Superman Punch right on Wyatt's face and it grows as he spears him, neatly wiping him off his feet. I know it's totally silly and maybe even weird, but when he does his roar... like now... I feel parts of me tingle that... okay, it's probably better not to go there right now. Still I can feel it, even more because he's setting for the pin with an arrogant but totally sexy smirk on his face. It thrills me to see him like this, powerful and perfect in what he does. And I keep cheering him on, because it is what I always do. Because... he's my man.

Our eyes meet and for once he's not looking away, yet that expression is still there. It changes though as I climb through the ropes, because Harper heads for Roman and fuck, he's not gonna touch my man! And suddenly it is worry I find there.

And while I run towards Harper to stop him from laying his hands on Roman, I think that it is not fair that only those moment when I get hurt are left to be close to him and how wrong it is that I have reached the point of hoping, waiting for those moments.

So I almost laugh out loud when I feel hands grab me, giving me a free flight over the top rope and the last thing I know before my world blacks out is a certain and odd happiness, because I know that I will wake up to strong arms holding me and worried eyes, maybe not seeing but at least looking at me...