Chapter 3 – Deliberation
An empty pizza box sat on the floor next to the worn armchair that was currently occupied by one Rachel Berry. Her legs hung over the edge of the arm, one of her shoes gingerly dangling from her toes, swinging from side to side as she kept time to the sway of the music playing quietly from her docking station. Her other shoe had long since hit the floor, the rest of her was laid against several cushions of differing colours, her hair falling over the other armrest. This is where Kurt had found her upon finally exiting his room. He himself was now strewn across a large rug, his head resting on a cushion that Rachel had thrown his way. He looked to the ceiling, following the ministrations of a small spider that was keenly working on a web in the corner, something he would need to deal with before Rachel saw it but for now it proved to be a welcome distraction. One knee was bent, the other resting across it, his fingers gently tapping against his chin, his lips pouting slightly and a small frown creasing his forehead as he contemplated his Blaine situation.
Slowly Kurt looked towards Rachel, his hands dropping to his sides as he eased himself up onto his elbow to better see her. He could see that her eyes were closed but she was clearly still awake. They had been listening to Rachel's playlists for some time now, trying to find the perfect song to convey all of Kurt's feelings to Blaine. The room was lit mainly by the standard lamp next to Rachel's chair but there were also a few candles scattered around the room, some of them stuttering every now and again as they burned low on their wicks. Kurt considered Rachel for some time. She seemed relaxed and more than willing to help him in his search. In fact she seemed surprisingly composed; a rare state for Miss Berry, who was usually wound tighter than a violin string. He appreciated this calmer version tonight. He could not have dealt with the dramatic version of his best friend, not when he felt at a loss the way he did. As if knowing she was being watched, Rachel peered down at Kurt, raising her eyebrows as an invitation for him to share his thoughts.
Kurt fell back against the cushion rubbing his hands over his entire face and groaning with frustration as his hands swept through his hair leaving it dishevelled.
"What am I gonna do Rach?" he mumbled against his hands.
"He's so pissed at me right now. I need to call him and I've been through a dozen conversations in my head and I can't seem to get one that ends well", frustration evident in his voice.
Rachel's eyes stayed on him as he spoke even though he was no longer looking at her. He was monitoring the ceiling again; frustratingly the spider had clearly had a more productive evening than he had, it had managed to produce something intricate and strong, he had managed to wallow in self pity and disappointment. He narrowed his eyes at the delicate web as if personally affronted by the spider's persistence and success.
"Kurt?" Rachel's voice softly broke the quietness in the room.
"You know he loves you right?" "You know he's just disappointed, he'll be fine, don't worry so much, and just give him some space to deal".
There was no response from Kurt other than for him to sigh and place his hands on the floor either side of him and to drop his legs to the ground so that he was now laid out totally flat and defeated.
"He was so quiet Rach; you know that's not like him." Kurt spoke flatly, seeking her reassurance of his observation.
"I just need him to know how sorry I am that I can't make it back". "That it meant just as much to me as it did to him. You know his parents aren't home and the thought of him alone, wallowing, just about kills me". He glanced toward Rachel, finally meeting her gaze, which was filled with compassion and understanding.
Rachel knew how Kurt was feeling; she was dealing with a loss of her own but she also knew that he would figure things out without her having to offer much advice. All he needed was to talk, to spill out his thoughts and soon enough he would come up with the right course of action. She was happy to be his sounding board for the night. They had relied on each other so heavily over the past months, even before they had come to New York. It was unthinkable that she would have let him struggle alone.
Rachel smiled softly and hummed gently to the song now ghosting through the apartment. Kurt pulled himself from the floor, grabbing the pizza box as he went and headed toward the small kitchenette, he bumped Rachel playfully on the foot with the box as he passed, consequently relieving her toes of the remaining shoe which now joined its partner on the floor. Placing the box on the kitchen side, he filled a glass with water and leant back on the counter as he considered Rachel.
Her fingers trailed through her long hair and her eyes were closed as she lost herself in the track, her now naked feet still pulsing gently to the music.
He glanced toward the docking station, and tried to listen to the track which had captured Rachel's attention. It was not a track he knew well but he had heard it before. Pushing away from the counter he put down his glass with a soft click and padded towards the music. It was soft and gentle but filled with emotion and feeling. Something inside him stirred and a small smile crept into his eyes making them glitter in the semi darkness of the room.
Rachel cracked open an eye and watched him as he drifted towards the music, she continued to hum quietly along to the track. She saw the change in his face as the track washed over him and said nothing as he smiled gently at the dock and made his way silently towards his room; evidently he had found his song. A smile graced her lips as she closed her eyes and lost herself once again.
