Warnings: Sirius being a complete pansy and James being an ass
"Psstt. Remus." Sirius was too afraid to move, so he settled with trying to get the attention of the bed closest to his own.
"Go 't sleep Sirius." Remus was not in the mood for his friend's antics. HE had crammed for the test in potions tomorrow, and practically re-wrote Sirius' charms essay, because heaven forbid he actually try at all.
"Remus I can't." Sirius hissed, trying to show he was being serious here, "Moony please. There is a huge spider on my pillow." He let out a little whimper as the spider took a step towards his face.
Now, Sirius likes to believe he is a brave person. He takes any challenge willingly. He's afraid of nothing. Well…almost nothing. A large, hairy spider with most likely super poisonous fangs? Only a fool wouldn't be afraid of that. And Sirius likes to believe that he's quite smart.
Others might disagree with that.
"Bloody hell Sirius. Is it hurting you?" Sirius heard a chuckle from across the room, and closed his eyes tight.
"Yes. It is sitting by my face and it's hurting my heart." It took a few more steps towards his face, and he gave a high pitch screech, falling off his bed, "IT'S GOT ME PLEASE MOONY ITS GOT ME!" By the time he untangled himself from his sheets, the whole dorm was drying of laughter. As the noise began to die down, there was a whisper from James' area of the room.
"Engorgio"
That night, McGonagall had to assure the students in the common room, all of whom came rushing out of their dorm afraid someone was being brutally murdered, that there was in fact, no danger.
That night, and for several weeks after, Sirius Black told the tale of how a spider the size of a car managed to make it's way into their dorm, and he fought it off bravely while someone, he never mentioned who, screamed in the back.
And of course, James would make spiders appear on Sirius' dinner plate, just for another laugh.
After that? Sirius could never looks at a spider without screaming.
This prompt made me laugh a lot when I first read it:
*Sirius Black voice* Remus will you kill this spider for me
*Remus Lupin voice* is it trying to hurt you, Sirius
*Sirius Black voice* its on my bed and it's hurting my heart
*quite James Potter voice* engorgio
*loud, horrified Sirius Black shrieking*
I just love the Marauders so much. I want another seven book series based on their lives from first year to graduation and I was movies with scrawny little Remus and asshole James and greasy Sirius and puppy dog Peter. Give me all the Marauders. All of them.
