Disclaimer: If it looks familiar, it belongs to the Queen!
Some review responses:
IrishChic20: I can't wait either! I have lots of ideas in my head that I wish I could just be at those points already, but you've got to build up to it!
To the unnamed Guest: I never used to ship Snamione until I found a really good one, then I read nothing but it for a while, now it's my OTP!
LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL, Onyx Obsidian, Annabelle: So glad you guys enjoyed it! Every morning I wake up and see I have reviews, follows, and favorites, I get so excited.
Authors Note: The responses I've received so far have been absolutely heartwarming. I've always been wonderful at writing; it's always something that's come easy to me. I have written loads of short stories in the past and have entertained the idea of writing an HP story for ages but I always get paranoid about not being able to incorporate the magic/spells well. That being said, I've hit the point where I've read all of the 100k+ word M rated Snamione's and I need something new so I figured what the heck, I'll try writing one and I'm glad to know you guys are enjoying it thus far.
Authors Note 2: I can't make any promises, but I'm hoping to update in the time frame of every day or every other day…something like that. As I said, I can't make any promises, but that's what I'm hoping for! I realize that what I just typed completely goes against the past 2 days, and I hope you will forgive me. I've been suffering from some pretty bad insomnia and have felt like utter rubbish the past 2 days in particular. I hope this makes up for it!
Enjoy!
Chapter 3
On her way home from the Ministry Hermione grabbed some take away for dinner and was currently sitting Indian style on the floor, with her back against her couch enjoying her fish and chips. The day had provided much to mull over and that was where Hermione currently found herself. She was currently contemplating how far she wanted to go with her "bat project." One must remember that before he was a spy for the Order, Severus Snape was indeed a fully fledged Death Eater and could probably do things to her that she couldn't even dream up in her worst nightmares. Hermione had to tread very carefully, and she didn't really have a pranking bone in her body to be honest. This was where George came into the mix, she knew he'd have plenty of ideas and she was hoping to hear from him soon so she could proceed forth with her plan. Almost as if on cue, she heard a tapping at the window and looked up to see an owl at her window holding a letter in its beak. She let the owl in and offered it some of her fish before it ventured back out into the evening.
Hermione,
First off, may I commend you on what the journey you're embarking upon. Even in our wildest dreams, Fred and I wouldn't have dreamt of messing with the bat of the dungeons. Now I know Harry told us all to leave Snape be and let him live in peace, but you know I can't pass up the opportunity to help you prank the unprankable. I've got a few ideas, and if I think of any more, you know I'll make sure to let you know. So let's see, where to start.
Fred and I created a powder to change a person's hair color. Just stick it in a parcel, and when the intended person opens it, the powder 'explodes' so to speak on the person and *poof* their hair is magically a different color. Might sound a bit tame I suppose, but the best part is that there isn't a cure for it, it takes anywhere between 24-36 hours to wear off. Just let me know the color and we'll go from there! Also, I've got a potion that you can pour in a person's drink and everything they eat or drink tastes…off; just on the other side of spoiled actually. Also, I'm in the last stages of development for something I'm sure would drive Snape insane. It should be done by Christmas time, which is perfect timing! I've created a spell that works like the hair color thing. You open the parcel and *poof* a bunch of Muggle Christmas elves dance in circles around your head singing Christmas carols, it wears off after about 8 hours or so, also no "cure" (sensing a theme?).
I've also thought of a few other ideas that you won't need my help with. You could always change his robes to be a different color; Merlin knows he'd have a fit over anything that isn't black. Find ways to intentionally cross paths with him at any chance you get, and make it seem like a coincidence; I'm sure that'll drive him barmy. Who knows, maybe Harry could loan you the Marauder's Map…not like he needs it outside of school. I'm also a fan of killing the man with kindness, since I can almost guarantee that he's never had anyone be nice to him. My last suggestion, I'm not sure how on board with it you'll be. Depending on how far you want to take it, you can always flirt with him. I know, it sounds like a terrible idea and I can't even believe I'm suggesting it to you; but nothing will unnerve a man more than flirting, especially a man that I'd bet my store on has never been flirted with his entire life. Be careful though, flirting can have some unintended consequences. That's all I've got for now. Like I said, I'll get back to you with any other ideas I have.
Best of luck!
George
Hermione read the letter over another time and thought about what George had suggested. She laughed to herself as she thought about Snape with different colored hair and with little elves singing carols around his head. He would be livid for sure and she shivered at the thought of retribution. The flirting bit was the only part she wasn't entirely sure about; but the more she thought about it, that was essentially what the letter she sent him earlier in the day was anyway, blatant flirting. She supposed she could do it, on her terms though. She definitely wasn't taking flirting tips from George or anyone else for that matter. With a lot to plan, Hermione pulled out a piece of parchment and began to make a list, ideas coming to her as she wrote(A/N:coming to me as I wrote too lol).
Operation Bat
Hair color (definitely pink!)
Spoiled Potion
Elves & Carols
"Running into him" (Harry? Map?)
Robe color (something atrocious, yellow maybe? Goes terribly with skin tone)
Flirting (innocent stuff, touches etc.)
Christmas gift (something genuine to throw him off)
Valentine's Day (a gift of course, definitely scandalous. Maybe I can convince Minerva to throw a dance?)
(More to be added later)
As Hermione sat back rereading her list, she felt a sense of accomplishment; a ball of excitement growing in the pit of her stomach. She cast a quick Geminio on the parchment, creating a duplicate list and started on a response to George.
George,
I know, I know…I must be mad to attempt what I'm doing; but hey, what's life without a little fun right? To help myself figure things out, I obviously created a list. I enclosed a copy so you could see and give me some feedback and ideas. I'm 100% on board with everything, even the flirting. I know you might be a bit surprised I'd be so willing, but to be honest, I sort of already started without your suggestion. After I sent you the owl requesting help, I sent one to Snape as well telling him how much I enjoyed seeing him. I may have also said that we should "get to know each other better" once I'm all settled in and that I'm no longer a know-it-all bookworm, that I've "grown into a mature young woman" and things of that nature. Now that I think about it, it actually sounds terrible. I think I'm rubbish at flirting. Oh well, practice makes perfect right? By the way, I've decided on Hot Pink for the hair color. Thanks again for all your help George; I'll be keeping in touch!
Love,
Hermione
Hermione enclosed the copy of the list and sent George's letter on its way. She looked at the clock and saw that it was only 8PM; she had time for a bit of reading before bed. She gathered up her take away and disposed of it, tidying up her living room and kitchen as she went. After grabbing a pair of her favorite pajama pants and a tank top, Hermione headed into the bathroom. Turning on the taps and sinking into a tub full of sudsy water, Hermione reveled in the warmth; feeling her muscles relax as the bubble bath soothed her tired body.
She Accio-ed her book and picked up where she left off in her copy of Jane Eyre; she had just reached the part where Jane has to help the horseback rider, later identified as none other than Edward Rochester himself, back to his horse after he fell off due to the horse slipping on a patch of ice. Hermione lost track of time as she fell deeper into the clutches of the book; wondering when she would find her Mr. Rochester, minus the crazy wife locked up in a tower that is. Aside from the abusive family part, Hermione felt that she can very much so relate to the title character, Jane.
Both were sent to a boarding school at a young age; however Lowood was nothing like Hogwarts. Lowood was filled with ill children, poor meals, and cold rooms; the exact opposite of all things that Howarts offered. No, the similarities lie with being shamed and ridiculed by one of the male staff, bonding with a female teacher, and Jane only had one true friend whereas Hermione had two. Hermione and Jane were both good students who went on to become teachers of the boarding school they attended. Much like Jane, Hermione has a strong sense of morality and sticks to her convictions even though they may be unpopular and not appreciated by others. The two women also share similar feelings on the attractiveness of men. By no standards is Mr. Rochester an attractive man, yet Jane loves him anyways. Hermione feels much the same way. She is of the opinion that a person's physical attractiveness doesn't matter. What makes a person attractive is how they carry themselves, how they treat others, their personality, and most importantly, their intellect. As far as Hermione is concerned, she could be with the ugliest man alive so long as they are equal intellectually, he respects her, and is sure of himself and his own worth.
Thinking back on it, that's probably why her romance with Ron failed so miserably. She was so caught up in the kiss during the war, she just went along with the natural progression of things; after all, it just made sense. Analyzing it now; however, she realized that the whole thing was doomed from the start. While Ron certainly wasn't stupid, he was in no way her intellectual equal; honestly, he wasn't even remotely close. Self esteem and self worth were other things Ron was lacking. Coming from a family of 5 older brothers, and then becoming the best friend of the Boy-Who-Lived, he was always cast off to the side. He never really got the opportunity to be his own person; he was either the little brother or the Chosen One's sidekick. And with his blatant cheating, it was clear that he didn't respect Hermione; who knows if he ever did.
She needed her own Mr. Rochester. Perhaps she should follow in Jane's footsteps and go for an older wizard. Clearly the ones her age weren't going to be on her intellectual level; not to mention, with age comes a certain assurance in one's self. The only flaw in her ponderings was that she was now going to be at Hogwarts for a majority of the year; not a prime location for finding a man, especially being a teacher constantly surrounded by students.
Hermione roused herself from her musings and drained her bath. Standing up, she cast a quick Drying Charm on her hair and dried her body off. After slipping into her night clothes, she set about the tedious task of brushing her hair. That in itself took an additional 30 minutes. Once her hair was tangle free, she braided it into two plaits; hoping that when she undid the braids in the morning that it wouldn't frizz out any more than normal. Dropping her clothes and towel into her clothes basket, Hermione padded into her room, pulled down the duvet on her bed and crawled in; slipping into an easy slumber filled with dreams of Victorian mansions, teaching children, and unconventionally handsome, headstrong men.
The next 19 days went by in a blur, and before Hermione knew it, it was her last day at the Ministry. She'd had a very light workload her last day and had finished up with all her paperwork by lunch. Mr. Drake stopped by her office asked her if she would join him for lunch on her last day. She readily agreed and they set off. Hermione was a little perplexed when instead of heading towards the lifts, the headed towards one of the conference rooms, but her unspoken question was answered when Stan opened the door and a dozen or so witches and wizards all shouted "Surprise!" The conference room was decorated, there were tables of food, drinks, and desserts; Ministry staff were all milling about. Hermione looked around and felt a wave of gratitude wash over her at the sight she was taking in. There was the entire staff from her department, along with multiple other staff members she was close with; Harry, Ron, and Kingsley included. She had to fight back tears as Kingsley approached her and enveloped her in a giant bear hug.
"Hermione, I've known you for many years, even before the Ministry. I've gotten to know you very well and watched you grow into a bright, beautiful, amazing young woman. I've come to think of you as a daughter of sorts and I'm glad that you're continuing your future, even if that means you're moving on from here. I'm proud to have been able to know you these many years and I know greatness lies ahead in your future." The tall, dark man said.
"Oh Kings, thank you so much. I really do appreciate it. These almost 2 years of working at the Ministry have been wonderful and I can't thank you enough for the opportunity," Hermione gushed, tears sliding down her cheeks.
As Hermione finished speaking with Kingsley, she felt arms wrap around her waist, lift her up, and spin her in circles. She shrieked and started flailing her arms and legs until Harry put her down.
"Harry James Potter! You almost gave me a heart attack!" She scolded.
"Sorry 'Mione! I'm just so proud of you and wanted to congratulate you" exclaimed Harry with a grin.
"It's alright Harry, I know you're just excited, I am too. Thank you so much for being here!"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Uhm…congrats 'Mione. I'm really glad you found something that makes you happy." Ron said sheepishly, standing off to the side, behind Harry; looking slightly uncomfortable.
"Thank you Ronald. And you don't need to look so nervous; trust me, if I were going to hex you, I would've done it by now. Not to mention, I wouldn't do it in a room full of people at the Ministry of Magic. I assure you, the past is in the past. It's all water under the bridge." Hermione explained.
Ron blushed and mumbled something incoherent as Hermione wandered off to thank the other people for coming. Apparently, her boss had cleared it with Kingsley and everyone in attendance was only working a half a day. The staff spent several hours eating, drinking, and talking with each other; eventually gathering in a circle to all reminisce and tell stories about their interactions with Hermione. Ron and Harry of course had the best stories, having known her for longer and due to the fact that they were a part of her small "rule breaking" phase. Surprisingly, it was well after quitting time before people started dispersing and heading home. As each person left, they came up to Hermione, congratulated her again, and wished her the best with a hug. Eventually, the room emptied out and she headed back to her office to pack everything up.
Entering her office for the last time, Hermione couldn't help but feel bittersweet. She didn't enjoy working in the Ministry any longer, but she had so many fond memories there. She transfigured a piece of parchment into a box and started packing all the personal touches she added to her office. She removed all the paintings adorning her walls, the dozens of photos she had scattered around, and the vases of flowers and placed them in the box. She shrunk the box down, placed in it her bag, and after a final sweep of the room, Hermione Granger walked out of her office in the Improper Use of Magic Office; ready to start the next chapter in her life.
Author's Note: I hope I made it worth it, making you guys wait so long! Again, I apologize! *begs* Please forgive me! Remember, reviews make me happy! Also, if you guys have any ideas for things Hermione can do to Snape, or things he can do to her, feel free to suggest them!
