Star Wars: Jar Jar Dies
Jar Jar was doing what he loved best. Masturbating. He looked at a picture of Jabba The Hutt.
"Oh, mesa big izz you Jabba." He was almost done.
"JAR JAR!! WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!?!?!?" Obi Wan said as he walked in.
"Nothin."
"YOU ARE IN THE JEDI COUNCIL YOU RETARD!! THE COUNCIL MUST HEAR OF THIS IMMEDIATLY,"
"But Mese love masturbation!!!!" Jar Jar screamed.
"Oh fuck it, I'm just going to kill you now." Obi Wan drew his lightsaber and threw it at Jar. It only made his arm bleed.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Shit! Why didn't I cut off your hands? Then you couldn't masturbate." Then Yoda walked in.
"The fuck is going on here what? he said.
"This motherfucker was masturbationg."
"Fucking kill his ass I will." Yoda said. He was pissed.
Jar jar then cut off his package with a lightsaber.
"THERE!!! NOW LEAVE MESA ALONES!!!"
"DIE FUCKER!!!" Obi Wan said as he took out a knife and jabbed it into Jar Jar's gut. He started twisting it to make Jar Jar suffer.
"OH FUCK!!!!" Jar Jar screamed. Yoda poured some salt on his bloody wound to make him hurt more.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MESA HURT!!!!" he cried. Yoda cut off Jar Jar's ears and stuffed them down his gullet.
"FACK!!!!" Jar Jar couldn't breathe. His trachea was clogged. He was starting to go from orange to blue. He swallowed them, It was the only way he couldn't choke. Obi-Wan grabbed him and threw him onto a nearby tablesaw.
"Please Obi...NO!!!!!!!!!!" Jar Jar screamed as Obi-Wan turned the saw on and directed Jar Jar to its blade. Blood spattered everywhere as a big gaping wound was now in Jar Jar's back. But Jar Jar was still alive. He was close to death.
"Attempt to kill him more we will." Yoda said. He picked up a fork and jabbed it in Jar Jar's left eye and pulled it out.
"NOOOOO!!!! MESE NO HAVING NO EYES!!!!!!!"
"Shut up, we haven't got yout other eye..."Obi wan said. He pulled the other eye out."Yet."
Obi-Wan and Yoda then started ripping out Jar Jar's organs from his bloody wound. He was starting to finally die.
"PLEASE!!! NO MORE!!!!" Jar jar said. Mace Windu walked in and shot him with a blaster.
"There. That mother fucker is straight up dead."
The End
