Herobrine stared. Yes, it was all true. The gold looked real, and the grass at his feet clinked as he walked on this strange new world. The tall grasses near the trees were as hard to break as cobweb, and the tree's leaves were like stone. Herobrine barely even began to speculate what actual stone would be like, besides the fact that it would be very very hard to mine.

Even the light was gold here. Everything had a gold tint to it even when it wasn't gold at all, just cloth or diamond.

Herobrine neared a small pool of gold. It was molten, but when he touched the liquid it was cold as normal water. How very odd. Herobrine was about to inspect further when a voice boomed out of the sky.

"I told you it would need some getting used to!," the voice swelled. "Yes, this is GylleGris. Hello, how are you, and all that. Now, how are you liking it?"

"Mind blown," Herobrine answered. "Just one question: why?"

"No reason other than to mine, of course," GylleGris rumbled from the heavens. "In fact I'll need you to collect, before the three days are out and the planet is destroyed by the solar flares, at least thirty stacks of gold blocks. I'm sorry, did I mention the solar flares? My apologies."

Herobrine had seen some really weird stuff in his lifetime of about a million years, but none had prepared him for the gold planet or the tiny lick of bright infrared flame that lapped at his heels suddenly. He yelped; the fire had melted through his shoes in the blink of an eye.

"Whatis this?" he asked GylleGris. GylleGris paid him no attention whatsoever as he went on: "Oh, and did I warn you about the Gold Spiders? No, I probably should have waited and seen your reaction to them myself. They're about nine meters tall and made of pure enchanted gold, but otherwise nothing you haven't seen." The sound of static filled the sky for a moment, then all was silence.

The demigod made a humble house that night, out of about a ton of golden dirt blocks that could have bought a hundred castles. In other words, he made a tent out of nine blocks and fell asleep on the hard, cold ground a few minutes later. The trickling of the molten stream of cold gold lulled him into slumber.

The next morning he woke to see a large convoluted shape sitting in a tree, watching him. It looked to have a hundred arms all wrapped into a ball, with only two used as feet or hands. Two dull lapis eyes glinted at him. When he made a move towards it it flickered off into the trees, moving through the gold leaves like they were water. He took a journey across the golden, tree-covered hills of what could quite possibly be farmland, although it seemed nobody had farmed it for millenia.

During his day, he saw more of the tree-dwellers when he sat to eat a golden apple every so often. They didn't just have lapis eyes. One had redstone bulbs set in its head that bulged like glowstone lamps.

Sometimes when he trekked through a dense clump of trees a much stranger thing lmbered across his path. It was a big gold brick, one meter wide and over twenty meters long, with maybe one or two abberants of fifty meters or more in length and twenty meters in width. They were protectec by some sort of shield of invisible material, and Herobrine was forced to wait as they passed.

Every once or a while GylleGris would come back on and swear, closing the line. Heorbrine had heard of accidentally butt-dialing a cell phone, but never on this scale.

He set up a little camp where he at last fell in a heap unwilling to get up again. Looking around he discovered a reinforced diamond pickaxe in his inventory, and started to work on the thirty stacks of gold that GylleGris had ordered. Mining was hard and grueling. Sweat rolled down Herobrine's back as the sun beat down and he made small indents on a dirt block. When that dirt block was done, he would move on to the next, then the next, at almost an unbearable pace. After an hour of frantic mining, during which he had to use some TNT he had stolen a few months before, he had ten full stacks of gold.

Sighing, he rolled back onto the shimmering surface he had carved for himself, and fell asleep. He woke up an hour later in good spirits.

The tree dwellers, ever present, had started to become a little more daring. They swung over Herobrine's head as he walked through tall grasses, and once tried to steal his inventory as he dozed lightly for about ten minutes by a huge lake of gold. The gold bricks became more numerous, in herds this time, going off in their habitual paths like buffalo (or bison, it depends on where you're from).

It was after a number of hours, finally, that Herobrine collected his thirty stacks of gold.

When he had done so he collapsed onto the ground, and called GylleGris's name. A hum and some feedback played through the sky, and seconds later GylleGris's voice boomed down like thundering elephants.

"You have collected thirty stacks of gold?"

Herobrine nodded. "Yes," he gasped. "Now get me out of here."

GylleGris paused, and there was a distinct conversation in Netherese.

"Gylle, don't. He's caused too much."

"Why shouldn't I bring him up?"

"He is brother of Notch."

"But sir-"

"No buts. Our power is small anyways."

GylleGris returned.

"I'm sorry, Herobrine, but you will have to take the portal back," he rumbled. "My employers need to be alone for a while." There was a boom and a massive ship sat parked in the sky. It was indeed huge, and disc shaped like a flying saucer. Herobrine yelled and clutched his hands over his eyes as brilliant beams arced out of the bottom from small portholes and smashed large chunks of the land apart.

Herobrine placed one block of gold upon the ground, then another. As he drew nearer to the ship, the conversation turned frantic.

"Move the ship, Gylle!"

"Can't. Something's gone wrong and another thing overheated..."

"Just do it."

"Okay."

The ship moved. Herobrine, with one last desperate burst, leaped off the top of the block tower. He hurtled a mile up into the air, using his godlike abilities to reach the ship and cling on to a bar at the bottom. As the ship roared away, a beam which was probably the most powerful one yet smashed into the gold planet- and blew it up. chunks of gold, some burning and some not, sailed out behind. Herobrine twisted his body as the gold spun dangerously close, never hitting him.

GylleGris was in there somewhere. Herobrine swung himself onto another bar, then onto the ship's wing. Clasping onto a turret which was for the moment off, he clambered over the side, then pelted over the curved hull. Arriving at a porthole, he ripped it out and stuck his head in. There were a couple Wither Skeletons firing arrows at him. He quickly withdrew his head, then his entire body plummeted down. He weaved, and kicked the first in the stomach area, then grasped the second and ripped its head off its neck vertebra. But already he was being mobbed by more Wither Skeletons, and as fast as he ploughed through those, more arrived to fill their places.

And as suddenly as the crowd had been attacking him, they stopped.

They parted into two halves, leaving a pathway. Down the pathway walked, or rather floated, two strange creatures. They had no legs, but rather a large spinal cord with rib-like things sticking out of the sides. Their arms were long and thick, and stuck out to either side. The strangest things were the heads. One sat centrally, while the other two sat on the ends of the arms. All looked menacing, and this combination was enough to put even Herobrine off his nerves. He clutched his fists in front of him.

"We are the Withers," the one on the left said.

"Please do not move, Brother of Notch," the one on the right threatened, "or you will have a hole in your head the size of a typical pig." It waved its heads menacingly.

GylleGris pushed through them. He walked up to Herobrine and uppercutted him. Herobrine spun away. The Withers aimed their heads at him, but GylleGris stopped them.

"Please," he ordered, "I need to deal with this myself." He unsheathed a diamond sword from his scabbard, and another from the other one. Herobrine quietly took an iron sword from one of the Wither Skeletons, and held it in position.

"It's been not quite a while, has it?" GylleGris asked. Herobrine cocked his head.

"A few days," he said, "of leaving me on a doomed planet? Could actually feel like a while in my opinion."

"You're gonna have an enjoyable death," GylleGris laughed, and spun towards Herobrine. Herobrine brought his sword into a parry, and Gylle's diamond sword clashed against it. Herobrine then swung his sword at the helmeted head. GylleGris blocked. He twirled his swords while advancing towards the demigod, and Herobrine had to frantically raise his sword and fend off the rapid blows. Gylle finally stopped tworling and did a savage crushing blow to Herobrine's iron sword, which shattered. Herobrine jumped to avoid the next, then ducked as Gylle swept it over his head, then leaped again, fastening his hands on the ceiling. He felt pain in his foot, and GylleGris howled in triumph. Herobrine launched down from the ceiling and sent a shockwave arcing out at GylleGris. The guy was so stunned that he flew back, lost balance, and crashed to the ground. He resurfaced, and swung the left-hand sword, but Herobrine ducked under and grabbed the arm, twisting it and freeing the weapon.

Now they both had diamond swords. Gylle's and Herobrine's swords were brought into a series of fast moves in rapid succession. The insane blur of swords and sparks seemed to be having an effect on the Wither Skeletons. They shrank back as if they were worried of being smashed themselves.

Herobrine's foot was hurting, badly. He couldn't block the pain out. He could control it, however, and this he did while his opponent slashed and parried in front of him.

Suddenly the ship lurched. Gylle was thrown off balance again, and Herobrine saw his chance. Leaping with the sword held point-to-the-floor, he did a crazy warrior swipe and cleaved GylleGris in half. The armor shattered into a million pieces, and the man fell, definitely dead, upon the ground.

The Wither Skeletons swarmed around Herobrine again, but he used his diamond sword to cut through them all, launched the sword at the Withers and cut them in half as well, and ran out of the room into the cockpit. The visi-screen was flecked with static, but the controls still worked. Herobrine set navigation to Minecraftia (more accurately to the planet of Arroq Statol), and watched the stars fly by.